[Moosicus]

Good morning and welcome once again to the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day. Today marks part II of our series entitled “Kahlan is really a whore�.

In the center of the room a big man stood. From a mass of long stringy red hair he looked out with mean eyes that were set too close together. The front of his thick beard was wet with ale. He wore a wolf hid over one shoulder. His hand rested on the handle of a long knife.
“Expensive-looking whore you got there, boy,� the red-haired man said. “I don’t suppose you’d mind if we came up to your room and passed her around some?
Richard locked his glare on the man. He knew this was a challenge that would only be ended with blood. His eyes didn’t move. His hand did – slowly – toward the sword. His rage pounded, fully awake even before his fingers reached the hilt.
This was the day he was going to have to kill other men. <oh no!> A lot of other men.
Richard’s grip tightened around the braided wire hilt until his knuckles were white. Kahlan gave a steady pull on the sleeve of his sword arm. She spoke his name in a low tone, raising the inflection at the end, the way his mother did when she was warning him to stay out of something. He stole a glance at her. She gave a luscious smile to the red-haired man.
“You men have it all wrong,� she said in a throaty voice. “You see, this is my day off. I’m the one who hired him for the night.� She smacked Richard on the rear. Hard. It surprised him so much he froze. She licked her top lip as she looked at the red-haired man. “But if he doesn’t give me my money’s worth, well, you will be the first I call to fill the breach.� She smiled lasciviously.
<blahblahblah>
“I am sworn to protect the life of the Seeker with my own. I would do anything required to protect you.� She gave him a meaningful look, lifting an eyebrow. “Anything.� <slut>
~Terry Goodkind, Wizard’s First Rule

This post has been edited by The Mad Moose: 12 July 2006 - 08:33 AM

[La Jeune Louve]

Zadok, on Jul 12 2006, 20.06, said:

What's interesting is the idea of vigilante justice and revenge the objectivists believe in as well. Say you have a situation where Man 1 kills Man 2. Man 2's son grows up and takes righteous revenge and kills Man 1. Is Man 1's son then entitled to righteous vengence against Man 2's son, who was only taking righteous vengence himself? How does this get resolved?

Reminds me of those Sicilian blood feuds...Stuff like this has one result: eventual clannicide.

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“You men have it all wrong,� she said in a throaty voice. “You see, this is my day off. I’m the one who hired him for the night.� She smacked Richard on the rear. Hard. It surprised him so much he froze. She licked her top lip as she looked at the red-haired man. “But if he doesn’t give me my money’s worth, well, you will be the first I call to fill the breach.� She smiled lasciviously.

This is from WFR, right?

It seems like everyone in SoT is into BDSM...

Quote

His rage pounded, fully awake even before his fingers reached the hilt.
This was the day he was going to have to kill other men.

Beware! Richard's thing is rising! :rolleyes:

[Moosicus]

The Wolf Maid, on Jul 12 2006, 10.46, said:

This is from WFR, right?

It seems like everyone in SoT is into BDSM...

Beware! Richard's thing is rising! :rolleyes:

Yup, WFR. Nobody in these books has ordinary sex.

Every "thing" in the room is rising at this point I think.

[Zadok]

fill the breach? :sick:

Goodkind succeeds once again with compelling and realistic female characters.

[Moosicus]

TheSorrowfulMan, on Jul 11 2006, 19.28, said:

Dear Mad Moose I don't have the book on me but could you please post some Emperor Jagang moments because I find that he is like Mr Evil Objectivist and it makes it all the more fun.

You're right. Jagang is fun, and deserves to be part of a Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day Double Whammy!

Here’s a bit from his first appearance. In this chapter, Jangang has summoned six sisters of the dark to him, he’s used his power as a Dream Walker to scare the shit out of them and now wants to be sure that they’ll serve him like good little girls. So he’s going to teach them some lessons in typical TG fashion.

With his nightmare gaze on Ulicia, he reached under the table and dragged a shapely woman out by her blond hair <wink wink> . She winced in pain as his powerful fist lifted her. She was dressed the same as the others. Through the sheer fabric, Ulicia could see older, yellow bruises, and newer purple ones. There was a bruise on her right cheek, and a fresh, huge, blue-black one on her left jaw, with a line of four cuts left by his rings.
It was Christabel, one of the Sisters of the Dark Ulicia had left at the palace. <blahblahblah>
Jagang turned his hand over, pointing. “Stand before me.�
Sister Christabel scurried around the table to stand before Jagang. She quickly smoothed her disheveled hair, and wiped her mouth with the back of ther hand before bowing. “How may I serve you, Excellency?�
“Well, Christabel, I need to teach these six their first lesson.� He tore the other lef off the pheasant. “In order to do that, you must die.�
She bowed. “Yes, Excell-“ She froze, realizing what he had just said. Ulicia could see her legs trembling as she straightened, but still, the woman dared say nothing.
He gestured with the pheasant leg to the two women sitting before him on the bearskin, and they scrambled away. Jagang smiled that terrifying smirk of his. “Good-bye Christabel.�
Her arms flung into the air as she collapsed to the ground with a shrieked. Christabel thrashed madly on the floor, screamed so loudly it hurt Ulicia’s ears. The six women standing above her at the edge of the bearskin watched with wide eyes, holding their breath. Jagang gnawed on his pheasant leg. The bloodcurdling screams went on and on as Christabel’s head whipped from side to side and her whole body flopped and bounced as she twitched violently.
Jagang occupied himself with his pheasant leg and having his wine mug refilled. No one spoke as he finished the leg and turned to take a few grapes.
Ulicia cold stand it no longer. “How long until she dies?� she asked in a hoarse voice.
Jagang lifted an eyebrow. “Until she dies?� He threw his head back as he roared in laughter. His fists, bristling with huge rings, pounded the table. No one else in the room so much as smiled. His burly body shook. The thin chain between his nose and ear danced as his laughter died out in fits.
“She was dead before she hit the floor.�
“What? But she…she’s still screaming.�
Christabel suddenly was silent, her chest as still as stone.
“She’s been dead from the first instant,� Jagang said. A slow smile spread on his lips as he fixed the black void of his gaze on Ulicia. “That wedge I told you about. Just like the one I have in your minds. What you see is her soul screaming. You are seeing her torment in the world of the dead. The Keeper looks to be displeased with his Sister of the Dark.�
Jagang lifted a finger and Christabel resumed her wild thrashing and screaming.
<blahblahblah>
“We understand quite well our alternatives,� Ulicia said hurriedly. “Please- you have no need to fear our loyalty.�
“Oh I know that,� Jagang whispered. “But I still haven’t finished with your lessons. Your first one was only the beginning. The rest won’t be nearly so quick.�
Ulicia’s legs were in danger of giving way. Since Jagang had begun coming into her dreams, her waking life had turned into a nightmare. There must be a way to stop this, but she could think of none. She had a vision of herself, returning to the Palace of the Prophets as one of Jagang’s slaves, in one of those outfits.
Jagang glanced past her. “Have you boys been listening?�
Ulicia heard Captain Blake answer that they had. She started.. She had forgotten all about the thirty sailors standing behind her at the back of the room. <sweet>
Jagang gestured with two fingers for them to come closer. “In the morning you may leave. I thought, though, that for tonight you would like to have these ladies.�
Each of the six went rigid.
“But-“
Her words were cut short by the way the floating shapes shifted suddenly in his murky eyes. “From now on, if you use your magic against my wishes, even if it’s to stop yourself from sneezing, you’ll share Christabel’s fate. In your dreams I’ve shown you a small taste of what I can do to you while you’re alive, and you’ve now seen a small taste of what the Keeper will do to you if you die. You have but one path to tread. If I were you, I’d not put one foot wrong.�
Jagang returned his gaze to the sailors behind them. “They’re yours for the night. Knowing these six from their dreams, I know you have scores to settle. Do to them as you wish.�
The sailors’ voices rose in gleeful oaths.
<blahblahblah Its gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight>
Jagang returned his attention to the six women. “I have a gigantic army of big burly soldiers, and nowhere near enough whores to go around. Puts my men in an ugly mood. Until I have other duties for you, you’ll serve in that capacity for all but four hours a day. Be thankful you have my ring in your lip; it’ll keep them from killing you while they’re having their fun.�
~Terry Goodkind, Blood of the Fold

[La Jeune Louve]

Wow, the Mad Moose, you're in a roll today! We're not worthy!!!

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He threw his head back as he roared in laughter. His fists, bristling with huge rings, pounded the table. No one else in the room so much as smiled. His burly body shook. The thin chain between his nose and ear danced as his laughter died out in fits.

...died out in FITS? WTF? You have fits of laughter, or fits (like seizure) but a laughter dying out in fits? Makes me imagine laughter thrashing about on the floor, foaming at the mouth.

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Jagang gnawed on his pheasant leg. The bloodcurdling screams went on and on as Christabel’s head whipped from side to side and her whole body flopped and bounced as she twitched violently.

Poor Christabel. Killed Jagang with a pheasant leg that was not pheasant leg. By the way Goodkind wrote it, I thought for a moment that Jagang was using the phesant leg as some sort of vodoo doll to inflict pain on Christabel.

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Jagang returned his attention to the six women. “I have a gigantic army of big burly soldiers, and nowhere near enough whores to go around. Puts my men in an ugly mood. Until I have other duties for you, you’ll serve in that capacity for all but four hours a day. Be thankful you have my ring in your lip; it’ll keep them from killing you while they’re having their fun.�

How nice of Jagang to provide his soldiers with their own 'comfort women'. (wait, these Dark Sisters, they're the same ones who have to have sex with the namble, right?)

This post has been edited by The Wolf Maid: 12 July 2006 - 09:30 AM

[Moosicus]

The Wolf Maid, on Jul 12 2006, 11.29, said:

How nice of Jagang to provide his soldiers with their own 'comfort women'. (wait, these Dark Sisters, they're the same ones who have to have sex with the namble, right?)

Yeah, so being whores for the army shouldn't be too bad after doing it with the big barbed phallus. They'll probably end up laughing at the soldiers, "WHAT!?!? its less than 2 feet long? Bwah-hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! It doesn't even have any spikes on it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! LOSER!!!!!"

[La Jeune Louve]

The Mad Moose, on Jul 12 2006, 22.33, said:

Yeah, so being whores for the army shouldn't be too bad after doing it with the big barbed phallus. They'll probably end up laughing at the soldiers, "WHAT!?!? its less than 2 feet long? Bwah-hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! It doesn't even have any spikes on it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! LOSER!!!!!"

:rofl:

My thoughts exactly.

[De Vreemdeling]

Moose, stop. please, you don't need to keep doing dangerous things to impress us. please, we love you for who you are! you can put these monstrousities down any time you want! :cry:

[Moosicus]

Teh Stranger, on Jul 12 2006, 12.23, said:

Moose, stop. please, you don't need to keep doing dangerous things to impress us. please, we love you for who you are! you can put these monstrousities down any time you want! :cry:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

With Phantom supposedly coming out this summer, I may not survive to read A Dance with Dragons. BUT I CAN'T STOP!!!!!

[Hark]

Moose.. what is quietly going unmentioned here is just how intimately familiar you appear to be with the works in question. It's probably best that this uncomfortable reality continues to go unmentioned. :/

[Jaxom 1974]

He is a MAD Moose...what else could have brought him to such a state?

[Moshe Goldberg Rubinshteyn]

I've only read WFR (and it is obvious from the quotes I won't ever read another installment). But one thing really intrigues me: the chicken which is not a chicken and the goat which is not a goat. Can someone explain it to me? Is it a major plot thing or just some on-the-way stupidness which accidentially passed by the editor (and it's getting so much mileage because it's freaking hilarious). Can someone fill me in (preferably not with quotes, my brain might rot).

[好土同志]

Quote

Jagang gnawed on his pheasant leg.

Ughh... I'll start a charity to hire a competent editor for Goodkind. Jagang, not being a pheasant, cannot have a pheasant leg. The sentence should have read "Jagang gnawed on the pheasant leg." Or, if we must be didatic, "Jagang gnawed on the pheasant leg in his hand."

Of course, maybe this is part of Goodkind's genius. By saying that Jagang's leg is a pheasant leg, he's subtley reminding us the fowl nature of Jagang and his association of the foul fowl of fetid evil, a.k.a. the chicken that is not a chicken.

All praise the glory of Mr. Goodkind's, blessed be his name, command of the English language.

[serMountainGoat]

Polaris, on Jul 12 2006, 17.05, said:

I've only read WFR (and it is obvious from the quotes I won't ever read another installment). But one thing really intrigues me: the chicken which is not a chicken and the goat which is not a goat. Can someone explain it to me? Is it a major plot thing or just some on-the-way stupidness which accidentially passed by the editor (and it's getting so much mileage because it's freaking hilarious). Can someone fill me in (preferably not with quotes, my brain might rot).

Lets get one thing perfectly clear. The goat IS a goat and has always been a goat and its a noble goat at that - I thought the nobility of goats was obvious to all.

As for the chicken that is not a chicken. Why do people keep asking about this? Its perfectly simple ok, the chicken that is not a chicken is in fact not a chicken at all but an evil chime released because of some world saving magic Richard performed at the end of the fourth book and the chicken that is not a chicken infiltrates a flock of real chickens in the fifth book, Soul of the Fire, but while the chicken that is not a chicken fools nearly everyone in the Mud People's village it does not fool Richard who recognises that it is not a real chicken even though it looks like a chicken because of the evil way it cocks its head. Even Kahlan thinks her man is losing it and does not believe that it is a chicken that is not a chicken but in fact a real chicken until the chicken that is not a chicken tries to kill her at which point she suddenly understands the concept of a chicken that is not a chicken. Can everybody here now please try to do the same and understand this simple concept - rant over, thank you.

[14th Dragon]

theMountainGoat, on Jul 12 2006, 12.14, said:

Lets get one thing perfectly clear. The goat IS a goat and has always been a goat and its a noble goat at that - I thought the nobility of goats was obvious to all.

As for the chicken that is not a chicken. Why do people keep asking about this? Its perfectly simple ok, the chicken that is not a chicken is in fact not a chicken at all but an evil chime released because of some world saving magic Richard performed at the end of the fourth book.

Not to nit-pick, actually it is to nit pick so :P

It was Kalahan that let the chimes out by saying thier names three times and being the 3rd female to claim Richard as husband.

[diabloblanco18]

The Mad Moose, on Jul 12 2006, 07.09, said:

Jagang gestured with two fingers for them to come closer. “In the morning you may leave. I thought, though, that for tonight you would like to have these ladies.�
Each of the six went rigid.

You have to wonder if he meant that as a double entendre. Probably not, but hilarious nonetheless.

[Moosicus]

Hark but Soft, on Jul 12 2006, 12.57, said:

Moose.. what is quietly going unmentioned here is just how intimately familiar you appear to be with the works in question. It's probably best that this uncomfortable reality continues to go unmentioned. :/

Don't go jumping to whacky conclusions here. Starting the Quote of the Day feature, unfortunately for me, has resulted in an almost complete reread of the series, and consequently, a lot more drinking (which isn't unfortunate). Besides, it doesn't really take all that much to understand whats going on, I've just put more into it than any sane man should. For you.

[Hark]

The Mad Moose, on Jul 12 2006, 11.29, said:

I've just put more into it than any sane man should. For you.

Dayem. My thing stirred.

[serMountainGoat]

14th Dragon, on Jul 12 2006, 17.24, said:

Not to nit-pick, actually it is to nit pick so :P

It was Kalahan that let the chimes out by saying thier names three times and being the 3rd female to claim Richard as husband.

I bow to your superior Tairy knowledge 14D :bow:

How sad and pathetic of me to not remember every little detail of the masterpiece. I shall go home in shame and flog myself bloody whilst re-reading the whole saga to make sure I am fully boned up on the details in future :blush: