Selysin Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 @ Skythe 1 I didn't have a problem with the pronunciation and I think it's appropriate, but I derived the name of a desert from the Latin word for hot so I may not be the best judge of these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebenstone Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Ask Stu when he's going to finish his #@*%&^@!!$ "final" draft to give you a chance to beta... :tantrum: :bang: When are your going to finish his bleeping final draft to give me a chance to beta? And a big shout out to Nora for doing a quick runthrough of the MS I'm working on now. It was rough, a total first draft, and just needed a very quick set of eyes on it to make sure I was on the right track with some of the stuff I was doing. Thankfully it works despite the other flaws in the MS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I'm up to about 22k on my newest project, so that's fun. Also dusting off my 3rd novel and contemplating an edit of my last novel. I entered the #NewAgent contest this week, am making plans to enter #PitchWars in August. Registered a domain for my author site whenever I get around to making one. Added 37 more agents to my "to be queried" list for my SF novel. All in all I am being pretty productive! (It's a lot easier when I'm unemployed, turns out. ;)) Helps take away the sting of 13 straight form rejections, too. For some reason my mind has gone completely blank when I'm trying to think of a name for a continent so I could do with some advice please guys! I've gone for "Ethrea" with a pretty simple pronunciation of eth-ree-a. First of all, does the pronunciation make sense? Secondly, it's a small continent in the east that will solely consist of "Magi", do you think it's appropriate? Never struggled like this before with place names :( The pronunciation makes sense, but I've got to be honest: I immediately thought "Urethra" when I saw the name. Might just be me and my weird brain, though. When are your going to finish his bleeping final draft to give me a chance to beta? And a big shout out to Nora for doing a quick runthrough of the MS I'm working on now. It was rough, a total first draft, and just needed a very quick set of eyes on it to make sure I was on the right track with some of the stuff I was doing. Thankfully it works despite the other flaws in the MS. Yay, glad I could help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrddin Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 When are your going to finish his bleeping final draft to give me a chance to beta? I'm glad you asked. Does Tuesday work for you? (I wish) It's coming. Slowly, but it's coming. I'm nearing the end of the largest part of the overhaul. When I finish the first act, I'll send it to you. The rest of the book after that is just a matter of polish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Uh oh, looks like my current WIP might end up being more of a novella...I realized that I am past the halfway point (possibly well past it, depending on how long it takes to get this wrapped up) and only at about 30k. Trying not worry—there's always the next draft, after all, and I have some subplots that I haven't been hitting as much as I want. But that's because I couldn't find a way to fit them in smoothly, so I'm not sure how that's going to be magically doable on the next draft. Bah. Anyway not much I can do now without derailing my momentum. Should have this draft finished by the end of next month, which is crazy fast for me, but hopefully a good sign! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrddin Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Uh oh, looks like my current WIP might end up being more of a novella...I realized that I am past the halfway point (possibly well past it, depending on how long it takes to get this wrapped up) and only at about 30k. Trying not worry—there's always the next draft, after all, and I have some subplots that I haven't been hitting as much as I want. But that's because I couldn't find a way to fit them in smoothly, so I'm not sure how that's going to be magically doable on the next draft. Bah. Anyway not much I can do now without derailing my momentum. Should have this draft finished by the end of next month, which is crazy fast for me, but hopefully a good sign! This guy has some great writing suggestions you can leverage. Sample genius: You're right. Naming and describing every combo move in that fight scene will make it much more exciting. This chapter is missing something. Try adding an epigraph. Maybe some Matchbox 20 lyrics. Has your protagonist referred to his peers as "sheep" or another herd animal yet this chapter? You should get on that. It's doesn't really count as exposition if a character is just reminiscing out loud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 This guy has some great writing suggestions you can leverage. Sample genius: You're right. Naming and describing every combo move in that fight scene will make it much more exciting. This chapter is missing something. Try adding an epigraph. Maybe some Matchbox 20 lyrics. Has your protagonist referred to his peers as "sheep" or another herd animal yet this chapter? You should get on that. It's doesn't really count as exposition if a character is just reminiscing out loud. :lol: Hey, it might be better than the crap I've got going on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerolunar Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 New to this thread, I guess I'll chime in. My best friend recently was published, he wrote a book called "The Taliban Don't Wave", by Capt Rob Semrau. Since my friend's book was printed, many friends and family members have encouraged me to write a book as well, from the perspective of working as a private contractor in two different wars, the whole "write what you know" thing. I decided to go a different route, and write a young adult novel which I've been thinking about since I myself was that age. It's a fantasy/sci-fi novel about a young boy living in the world after some sort of untold calamity, where the changes in the environment brought about rapid intelligent growth in the remaining animals, mostly mice and rats which are the "survivor" organisms of such a future. These two forces are waging a war for territory and resources, and have discovered, with their new found intelligence, how to use human left over devices for their own benefit. Flying models, fireworks, small human projectile weapons used as artillery for creatures their size - that sort of thing. My main character, the young boy, aided by several friends in his quartered living area, help the "mice" learn about waging warfare as humans once did through left over books and surviving computer programs. They help them build, modify, and maintain machines and toys for their war effort, while one older boy, the bully from the neighboring human settlement, helps the "rats", who are the main antagonists of the story. This reminds me of an anime series named Shinsekai Yori, which has a similar subplot, if you are interested. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 This guy has some great writing suggestions you can leverage. Sample genius: You're right. Naming and describing every combo move in that fight scene will make it much more exciting. This chapter is missing something. Try adding an epigraph. Maybe some Matchbox 20 lyrics. Has your protagonist referred to his peers as "sheep" or another herd animal yet this chapter? You should get on that. It's doesn't really count as exposition if a character is just reminiscing out loud. :rofl: I bulked Sailor to a Siren from 60K or so to 85K by adding another layer of things going wrong, which served the plot pretty well (as it shifted the characters from up the creek without a paddle to also being without a boat), but this is pretty situational from book to book. Starkess, I suggest you finish it up, see what it looks like when complete, and re-evaluate then. You may find it needs that little extra something that adds a few thousand words, or you may find it works as it stands. At this point it's probably too early to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebenstone Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Uh oh, looks like my current WIP might end up being more of a novella...I realized that I am past the halfway point (possibly well past it, depending on how long it takes to get this wrapped up) and only at about 30k. Trying not worry—there's always the next draft, after all, and I have some subplots that I haven't been hitting as much as I want. But that's because I couldn't find a way to fit them in smoothly, so I'm not sure how that's going to be magically doable on the next draft. Bah. Anyway not much I can do now without derailing my momentum. Should have this draft finished by the end of next month, which is crazy fast for me, but hopefully a good sign! Novellas are a great option with that new Tor.com imprint. The project I'm working on right now, breaking from LABORS, might be a novella, though I'm not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkash Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Hi there, didnt know about this thread. I'm writing a fantasy trilogy (been writing since I was 7 and this is the first work I felt confident enough about to send to publishers). I'm waiting for answers now. Already got some positive ones but from editors who publish on authors accounts (and they asked me at least 3638 euros to publish it) and I wont recontact them. Since I only (and finally) only sent it a couple of weeks ago, I dont expect answers from serious editors for the next three or four months considering how busy they are and how a young new author is low on their list of priorities to read. But well, hope is important and even if it doesnt go anywhere, at least I have the satisfaction of trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelastactionhero Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If possible would anyone mind taking a look at this sample chapter I've written? Analysis would be welcomed but I'm also interested in initial reactions, and whether or not you find the baroque qualities of my prose dreadfully boring. Would gladly give a critique in return. http://idreamtofstarships.tumblr.com/post/85774295007/the-oakwood-door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
First of My Name Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Good luck Arkash!@Thelastactionhero: I'm willing, but as I'm on vacation now, I won't be able to read it for the next 3 weeks. I'll try and remember to do it when I'm home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Hi there, didnt know about this thread. I'm writing a fantasy trilogy (been writing since I was 7 and this is the first work I felt confident enough about to send to publishers). I'm waiting for answers now. Already got some positive ones but from editors who publish on authors accounts (and they asked me at least 3638 euros to publish it) and I wont recontact them. Since I only (and finally) only sent it a couple of weeks ago, I dont expect answers from serious editors for the next three or four months considering how busy they are and how a young new author is low on their list of priorities to read. But well, hope is important and even if it doesnt go anywhere, at least I have the satisfaction of trying. Don't submit directly to publishers. Unless they're very small, they rarely accept unsolicited submissions. Submit to agents instead, and the agent will find a publisher for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Twilight had nearly swallowed the horizon by the time Owen began to walk across the corridor. This doesn't make sense: twilight can't swallow the horizon. Reframe it as Owen perceiving or otherwise thinking about the twilight. "By the time" is unnecessary. Replace with "when" or something (fewer words the better). Scrap "began to walk" - just "walked." The last decaying rays of the sun fell hollow through the arched windows, casting sullen shadows along the floor. They were cruel unforgiving silhouettes, marring the cold tranquility which had once reigned unchallenged in these silent halls. Too many adjectives and adverbs! Purge them! He noted, when his eyes became lost for a moment in the black formations, a wondrous sorrow entwined deep within the tangled wretchedness. Owen found this aura ungainly, yet strangely endearing, as he continued on towards his master’s study. It was as if a grim foreboding had been woven into the very fabrics of it all, whispering incomprehensible prophecies, those fleeting recollections that echo briefly at the moment one awakens, only to slip back into those dark sanctums which lie beneath the glossy surfaces of human knowing. Purge all unnecessary words. In his arms Owen carried a bound scroll, greatly aged. It was stained and faded, wearied by the many years men had gazed upon its gilded letters, searching erroneously. He wore a charcoal gray robe, unkempt and disheveled, not unlike his chestnut hair which had grown perilously ragged. He had not ventured from the bounds of solitude in many fortnights, and still felt no great need to address his appearance, even in the presence of the other acolytes and learned artisans. No need to tell us it is greatly aged - you're showing it is greatly aged with the stains and fading. Again, cut down on the wordiness. Across his shoulder was a green pouch, seemingly common, yet filled with agents so resplendent that all who looked upon them became lost in the fissures of their divine light. "Seemingly" is weasel word. The POV is Owen's - would he think it seemed common, given that he knows what is inside? And do we need to know the colour of the pouch? Try going through the chapter, and highlight every adjective and adverb you can find. Then go back and ask yourself if they are necessary, or if you can find a verb to do the work instead, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkash Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Don't submit directly to publishers. Unless they're very small, they rarely accept unsolicited submissions. Submit to agents instead, and the agent will find a publisher for you. I live in France and write in French and litterary agents are really scarce here, it is more customary for authors to directly send it to publishers, but I will see if I ever can find one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Maybe ask any English agents whether they have French agent contacts. Usually they have someone in other markets to help sell overseas rights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelastactionhero Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 This doesn't make sense: twilight can't swallow the horizon. Reframe it as Owen perceiving or otherwise thinking about the twilight. "By the time" is unnecessary. Replace with "when" or something (fewer words the better). Scrap "began to walk" - just "walked." Too many adjectives and adverbs! Purge them! Purge all unnecessary words. No need to tell us it is greatly aged - you're showing it is greatly aged with the stains and fading. Again, cut down on the wordiness. "Seemingly" is weasel word. The POV is Owen's - would he think it seemed common, given that he knows what is inside? And do we need to know the colour of the pouch? Try going through the chapter, and highlight every adjective and adverb you can find. Then go back and ask yourself if they are necessary, or if you can find a verb to do the work instead, Thank you so much for this critique. It's strange how blaring the overabundance of adjectives is now that I'm looking at it with fresh eyes. I have a big vocabulary, and I think I have the tendency to get overzealous with my use of adjectives simply because I love the words so much. I workshopped this a year ago with Samuel Delany, if you're familiar with him, and he saw potential in what I'm trying to do, but brought up many of the same concerns. I just wanted a couple other eyes to pick at it before I go through my rewrite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella Darklyn Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Bumping to say that after much faffing about, my fantasy novel is back up to 25k (I did Nano up to about 52k, then hacked it to tiny little pieces. With a chainsaw. Not much was left.) The current goal is to finish a rough draft by the next Nano. Congrats to those of you in the sending-the-baby-out part of the process! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthmail Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 So, drawing closer to my deadline of end of august for self-published. My editor wants us to stick to that plan, but we are unlikely to meet it. Still a great deal of work to do to make sure the second book is solid. As a side note, another boarder here has taken the book and the response has been awesome. So if anyone wants a free copy of the first book (it still has some small minor edits to do), let me know. I need to generate some interest. This is a book to read and enjoy at this point, so no need to actually critique. I just want to generate interest for when my web site goes live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.