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Ask Stannis 2.0


KingOfTheDirewolves

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Dear Stannis, Why did we let the old thread die?

Dear King of the Direwolves,

The old thread betrayed me, and justice had to be served.

Signed Stannis Baratheon.

Next question: Dear Stannis, what would you attribute to your poor approval ratings?

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Dear King of the Direwolves,

The old thread betrayed me, and justice had to be served.

Signed Stannis Baratheon.

Next question: Dear Stannis, what would you attribute to your poor approval ratings?

Dear Mr Smith,

I attribute my poor approval ratings to ignorance and the faithlessness of men. Also, the inconvenient lack of the Lords of Westeros somehow having a single neck.

Next question: Dear Stannis, I surprisingly find myself with an over-abundance of peaches, ham and onions - do you have any cooking tips?

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Dear Stannis,



At work I supervise a dozen salespeople. When I ask them how things are going in the field they just tell me what they think I want to hear. I don't have time to follow up with each and every client, and I can't do my job effectively if I don't have a clear picture. I'm so sick of people blowing smoke up my ass.



Surrounded by Fools

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Dear Mr Smith,

I attribute my poor approval ratings to ignorance and the faithlessness of men. Also, the inconvenient lack of the Lords of Westeros somehow having a single neck.

Next question: Dear Stannis, I surprisingly find myself with an over-abundance of peaches, ham and onions - do you have any cooking tips?

Dear Mikkel,

Boil the ham and onions with lots of salt, simple salty food is best.

Throw the peaches away.

Next question: Dear Stannis, what is your favourite colour?

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Dear Mikkel,

Boil the ham and onions with lots of salt, simple salty food is best.

Throw the peaches away.

Next question: Dear Stannis, what is your favourite colour?

Dear Darrio's man, I have no favorite colours, what use are they

Dear Stannis,

At work I supervise a dozen salespeople. When I ask them how things are going in the field they just tell me what they think I want to hear. I don't have time to follow up with each and every client, and I can't do my job effectively if I don't have a clear picture. I'm so sick of people blowing smoke up my ass.

Surrounded by Fools

Dear Barmy, Tell them that if they do not start giving good advice you will burn them

Dear Stannis, why must I be so much more beautiful than you?

Sincerly, Renly

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OK, signed in on a computer I do not even use for this.



Dear Stannis,





Dear Darrio's man, I have no favorite colours, what use are they




Dear Barmy, Tell them that if they do not start giving good advice you will burn them



Dear Stannis, why must I be so much more beautiful than you?



Sincerly, Renly




In this way I will not attract such fools as Loras Tyrell and Brienne of Tarth who claims to be a knight but was never knighted. Such deeds will not go unpunished in my kingdom.


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Dear Stannis,

summer is coming and I'm too-fat-to-go-to-the-beach :frown5:

What should I do?

Dear Zorn,

Put down the cask of wine and look around. It is snowing. If you are serious about losing weight, though, I suggest you contact MyLittleFinger, who seems to have no conception of what good candy is. Defer to him on all matters of tastiness and you shall not be tempted toward gluttony. I have attached his contact information below.

-Stannis

Tootsie Pop is a candy...though it tastes like such ass I hesitate to use the term.

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Dear Stannis, is Melisandre's red hair real?

Dear gammaerys,

In this instance, I will only say that the myrish carpet does match the drapes. Of course, one should not pay attention to such nonsense while performing one's duty in bed. Mine own wife's mustache is as thick of texture as my late brother Robert's fierce beard, but it never kept from performing my annual duty as a husband

- Stannis

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Dear Mad Danny


*Grinds teeth* How attached are you to your hands and your tongue for any man who dares speak lies about my heir shall have neither.-Stannis



Dear Stannis do you have a good dentist cause you sure grind your teeth alot


Signed. A Bastard


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So, instead of grave digging the old thread which I can't seem to find, I decided to start V2. So heres how it goes, you ask Stannis a question and someone replies as Stannis and replies to it.

Dear Stannis, Why did we let the old thread die?

It's not dead.

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/63977-dear-stannis/

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Dear Stannis

i only have this urgent and very important letter to forward to you :

Yur Graec

I sael for Scagoos on a mishon that meaye bringe yu ehit thosund swourds.

I heav not abandined yur cuaes, and will return soccsesful or not at aal.

Give my lov to Devan, sire.

Meanderle is not yur eneme

May the graec of the sefen kep yu and the light of rihiulr warm yu

Davos Seaworth

Hand of the king

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Dear gammaerys,

In this instance, I will only say that the myrish carpet does match the drapes. Of course, one should not pay attention to such nonsense while performing one's duty in bed. Mine own wife's mustache is as thick of texture as my late brother Robert's fierce beard, but it never kept from performing my annual duty as a husband

- Stannis

:rofl: :lmao:

Dear Stannis

i only have this urgent and very important letter to forward to you :

:lol:

Dear Stannis,

I have done a terrible thing. Some former guests of mine left me behind on the road and have since gone missing, I fear they may have come to harm. As these guests may one day have become your subjects, I wondered whether you would accept three large pies as recompense?

Sincerely,

Mr. M

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Dear M You may keep your pies.Pies are a waste of perfectly good vegetables which should be eaten separately with only salt as seasoning.


P.S If you ever try to give me a pie with peaches in it I shall burn you and your whole house in the name of the one true god and the one true king-Stannis



Dear Stannis seeing as you like dogs if I got you a puppy would you be happy?


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