What counsel would you give to Iron Throne's claimants?

[the conquoring bastard25]

I forgot Dear Jon Snow:

The first thing that you need to do Keep your Maester close. I understand that you want to save Aemon Targaryen but he's safer at the wall then you think, as he doesn't have any children he should be safe as he can't die a king nor his no existence sons. You are going to need his advice and council in the trials to come.

2)Set Marsh and the first builder to the task of roving steward and first builder. Their jobs would be to supervise the restoration of the other castles and send reports back to the LC. Before they leave have the name 3 men that they would like to take their place. Keep those men close, but do not trust them. Set up weekly meeting with the various groups. Builders, Stewards.... Out of the men that you meet with chose a new builder and steward legate their sole job is to make reports to the LC and supervise Castle Black, when the work is done send Marsh to Eastwatch and the first builder to Shadow Tower.

3)Hold a weekly court. That was the men of the watch can come to you with their grievances and will feel as they are being heard. Have dinner and sup with the different regimes, queen's men, with men of the watch and wildlings have the break bread, that way they become human in the other's eyes. All men must eat, shit, breath

and die in that all men are alike.

4) Keep Ghost close any man that he doesn't like the smell of is someone that shouldn't be close to you.

5)Walk a middle road with the men. If you're to keep Satin as a steward then make the concession that the master at arms be high born. For ever low born or distasteful man of you give a rank to make 2 of noble or better birth into your high rank service. Don't try and change too much to quickly.

6)Send word to the nobles of the land and inform them of your plans for the future and wildlings.

7)Spread out as many of Thorne's/Marsh's cronies so that they can't plot.

[Chatty Duelist]

Dear Stannis, might i encourage you to recruit the Wildlings to your cause.

Dear Daenerys, i sincerely encourage you to give up your claims and titles, go to Lys and work as a prostitue, it's a win-win for everyone. For men especially.

Dear Balon, go fuck yourself.

Dear Renly, your brother is funnier, less douchey, and more polite than you'll ever be, did i mention that he has a better claim than you?

Dear Robb, go back to the North and bury your head in the snow.

[Gnivil]

Robb: If you must crown yourself King in the North, don't send Theon Greyjoy back to Pyke, though make sure to remind Balon that you have him in your letter. Don't say you'll "give him" a crown, say he can take it for himself and the best way to do that is to destroy the currently most powerful house. Marry Roslyn Frey quickly, or if you're gonna marry someone else, have it be Margery Tyrell, tell Mace he would be able to be King in the South if he wanted to as opposed to siding with the Lannisters (although I suppose he could do this without marrying Roslyn, perhaps even promise Sansa to Willas once KL is taken). Also, your siblings and mother have value as marriages, fucking use them.

Renly: Accept Stannis' offer, with the promise of Handship. Placate the Tyrells by letting them know that it is possible Stannis' reign might be tragically cut short soon after he takes King's Landing, or possibly even before it in the battle for the Iron Throne (if you know what I mean ;)). Get a son on Margery ASAP, pretend she's Renly if you have to, wed him to Shireen to protect your dynasty against rebellions.

Joffrey: Don't execute Ned Stark, use him, Sansa, and Arya as leverage to force the Northerners to help against Renly and Stannis, just be less of a dick overall.

Balon: Accept Robb's offer, attacking the North is literally the dumbest thing ever, Tywin's not gonna grant you independence, especially of the North as well you complete fuck wit. Just attack the Westerlands.

Stannis: Shadowbaby Renly, then attack KL, forget about Storm's End. Offer to wed Shireen to one of the Tyrells, Martells, just anyone really in the mean time. Once you have King's Landing, offer pardons of Tyrion, Cersei, and Joffrey (offer to legitimize him as heir to Casterly Rock) in turn for Tywin's allegiance.

Daenerys: Either stay in Slaver's Bay or go to Westeros, make your fucking mind up. If you're going to Westeros, try and get as many ships and general resources as you can in Slaver's Bay, then go to Pentos, marry Aegon there and land in Dorne, get their support, stating how Aegon is Doran's nephew and promising revenge, then just work your way up Westeros from there. Or you could try and conquer Valryia, that would be fun.

[TheSnape]

Robb: By no means go through the Twins with Walder Frey. Instead, go to Bear Island, and take a bunch of ships from there to sail to Lannisport and attack that way. You have a greater chance of victory that way. Or better yet, just don't do anything. Keep your defenses strong in the North, repel any non-northeners, and just wait this war out, let the Tyrells fuck up the Lannisters. Wait for Tywin to die, then you'll find a lot more Westerlands lords who bear no love for Cersei, and don't fear or respect her, will probably support your claim.

Dany: Find Tyrion. Gather all your forces, and prepare to set sail for Lannisport. You can attack the West, and once it's conquered, all you need to do is make Tyrion Lord of CR, and you'll have the best base to attack Westeros you could ever find. He will probably win your war for you

[The Amethyst Empress]

Dear Stannis, might i encourage you to recruit the Wildlings to your cause.

Dear Daenerys, i sincerely encourage you to give up your claims and titles, go to Lys and work as a prostitue, it's a win-win for everyone. For men especially.

Dear Balon, go fuck yourself.

Dear Renly, your brother is funnier, less douchey, and more polite than you'll ever be, did i mention that he has a better claim than you?

Dear Robb, go back to the North and bury your head in the snow.

I what universe is Stannis funnier than Renly?

[Chatty Duelist]

I what universe is Stannis funnier than Renly?

Every single one.

[The Amethyst Empress]

Every single one.

I don't think he even knows how to laugh...

[Kuma]

To Dany: You are whore, admit it so go wherever whores go, oh and if you meet dwarf without the nose along the way take him with you.

[bolton got this]

Tell Stannis suicide missions usually end up with you being dead. Oh and do the opposite of what melissandra says.

[Chatty Duelist]

I don't think he even knows how to laugh...

You're obviously new here.

- "Her own father got this child on her? We are well rid of her, then. I will not suffer such abominations here. This is not King's Landing."

- "Without a son of Winterfell to stand beside me, I can only hope to win the north by battle. That requires stealing a leaf from my brother's book. Not that Robert ever read one."

-"Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them cold clear water and they squint in suspicion and mutter to each other about how queer it tastes."

[bolton got this]

Every single one.

stannis is unintentionally funny.

[Stormland's Fury]

To every single one: Don't get married.

[The Amethyst Empress]

You're obviously new here.

Yeah I'm new,I've noticed a lot of love for Stannis around here!

I read a thread "Dear Stannis..." which was hilarious but still in the books he's not funny!

[Chatty Duelist]

Yeah I'm new,I've noticed a lot of love for Stannis around here!

I read a thread "Dear Stannis..." which was hilarious but still in the books he's not funny!

Have you read the books? He's the most hilarious character ever with his dry and unintentional hilarity.

"Stannis ground his teeth. 'It is not my wish to tamper with your rights and traditions. As to royal guidance, Janos, if you mean that I ought to tell your brothers to choose you, have the courage to say so.'

That took Lord Janos aback. He smiled uncertainly and began to sweat, but Bowen Marsh beside him said, 'Who better to command the black cloaks than a man who once commanded the gold, sire?'

'Any of you, I would think. Even the cook.'"

Renly: "You'll be pleased to know she came to me a maid."

Stannis: "In your bed she's like to die that way."

"No man may withstand him!"

"Be quiet, woman, You are not at a nightfire now."

Selyse throwing her arms around Stannis's legs and begging him to have Edric Storm sacrificed.

"He is mine own blood. Stop clutching me woman."

[The Amethyst Empress]

Of course I read the books

[bolton got this]

Anyone who read the theon chapter of w.o.w and still say Stanis is not funny has no sense of humor.

[Stormland's Fury]

Have you read the books? He's the most hilarious character ever with his dry and unintentional hilarity.

Agreed! His dry sarcastic humor is way over the heads of your typical Westerosi. And then they think he has no sense of humor because he doesn't laugh at fools tripping over eachother or falling from tables like idiots.

[Ziggy Targdust]

The Doom of Valyria would reoccur, all the dead Starks in the Winterfell crypts would ressurect, Dragonmount would erupt, and the Wall would crumble if Stannis ever laughs at ANYTHING.

[It's Not That Littlefinger]

to robb. support stannis. combined, you guys probably could defeat the lannisters.

to stannis at the current point. stop trying to get people to convert. it just makes them hate you. be a badass and the wildlings might join you.

[Mad Monkey]

Gah! I forgot he fled the city. I guess what I should have said was, the Red Keep is still infested with Lannister guards, servants, spies. Stowing CErsei and her kids on a boat wouldn't be easy.

Mercy and goodness are rarely easy, but I think that they are worth it. There's still a chance that this plan would have failed, but I think that my idea had a 50/50 shot of succeeding while Ned's plan from the books had a 1% chance at succeeding.