Malcolm of House Tucker Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Hi, all. I know there are threads for "Most Crackpot Theories" and whatnot, but I am hoping to start one specifically for crackpot Azor Ahai Reborn theories. Right now, the majority of readers seem to agree that AAR is either Jon or Dany, or Mel possibly being right about Stannis the whole time. I have my own favorite that I've listed below, but what really got me thinking about this is the lolz I got when my best friend presented a case for how Patchface could be Azor Ahai. So sound off, the funnier the better. Here is my own theory, which was posted in one of the various crackpot threads many months ago: Edric Storm is Azor Ahai Reborn. Edric never made it to Lys. The autumn storms upon the narrow sea forced him and his bodyguards to live in hiding upon the Stepstones, where Edric has been training to be a warrior. When Euron Greyjoy and his Ironborn fleet sail through the Stepstones to King's Landing, Edric encounters the Lord and heirs of House Drumm and defeats them, claiming their Valyrian greatsword Red Rain for himself. Proud of his victory, Edric declares himself Robert Baratheon's heir, a king reborn amidst salt and smoke. Davos and Melisandre, reading the signs, summon the boy up to the Wall where he proceeds to whip the Night's Watch and wildlings into shape and leads them on a massive campaign into the Lands of Always Winter to rid the world of the Others once and for all. During the final battle, Edric single-handedly kills the Great Other and promptly urinates against the tree Bran is currently possessing.Edric is paraded back to the Wall as a hero, which is the final insult to Stannis. Stannis throws his crown at Edric's feet and then sulks off to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea where he and Patchface descend into the ocean to find a place that will accept them. Edric puts on Stannis's crown and marches to King's Landing, conquering left and right because he is channeling the spirit of Badass Bob Baratheon and he takes the Iron Throne with an overwhelming majority of Westerosi people supporting him. Early in his reign, he hunts down and kills every last remaining Targaryen and/or Blackfyre and establishes a permanent Baratheon dynasty on the Iron Throne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Flandrensis Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I have an entirely crackpot theory that Gendry is AA. There is little to substantiate it (just that there's nothing like a smithy for smoke and fire), which is why it's crackpottery of the highest degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali Colak Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I have a seriously crackpot theory that even I wouldn't support, that Raego was ment to be AA reborn, and the whole ASOIaF series is about a prophecy gon wrong. What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise!If things had gon write, he would have been born under a red star, with smoke and salt from his mother and father I.E. Drogo's pire and Dani's tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali Colak Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Sorry, originally meant to edit a previous poast rather than write a new one, how do I delete this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roddy the Ruin Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I have a theory that when the final battle comes, a wise sage shall appear and say to the heroes and heroines gathered and tell them they all are Azor Azhai and that they had it in them all along and the way to activate their magical rainbow fire powers is with power of loving one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kinkslayer Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I have an entirely crackpot theory that Gendry is AA. There is little to substantiate it (just that there's nothing like a smithy for smoke and fire), which is why it's crackpottery of the highest degree. Gendry is Azor Ahai reborn because he is the only named character that can actually forge a sword. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarlightShoals Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Gendry is Azor Ahai reborn because he is the only named character that can actually forge a sword. Not if Donal Noye comes back from the dead~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kinkslayer Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 Not if Donal Noye comes back from the dead~ Alright, you got me. Back on topic: After a long summer Azor Ahai is to be reborn amist salt and smoke, what else is made with salt and smoke? a ham. It is said that Azor Ahai is meant to slay the great other, so.. who has actually slain an other and has a connection with hams? well, only Ser Piggy. This means that Sam the scared is Azor Ahai reborn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Flandrensis Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Alright, you got me. Back on topic: After a long summer Azor Ahai is to be reborn amist salt and smoke, what else is made with salt and smoke? a ham. It is said that Azor Ahai is meant to slay the great other, so.. who has actually slain an other and has a connection with hams? well, only Ser Piggy. This means that Sam the scared is Azor Ahai reborn. :bowdown: I hand the crackpottery pot to you. It's all quite clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Rhaegel Tarly Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Wyman Manderly is Azor Ahai. It is known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batbob45 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Does AA have to be humanif not I go with Viserion Warg by Bran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dya of Oldstones Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Alright, you got me. Back on topic: After a long summer Azor Ahai is to be reborn amist salt and smoke, what else is made with salt and smoke? a ham. It is said that Azor Ahai is meant to slay the great other, so.. who has actually slain an other and has a connection with hams? well, only Ser Piggy. This means that Sam the scared is Azor Ahai reborn. My favorite crackpot is Sandor Clegane is AA, but this one is giving it serious competition. :cool4: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboJed Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Theon...In a chapter called The Prince of Winterfell, he notices the Weirwood leaves (which could be said to look like red stars) are falling from the tree, and in their place have gathered many ravens (darkness). He then hears his name being called between the godswood which is unusually misty (smoke) and going to sit at the banquet above the salt. He later thinks this event is what helped him remember who he was (reborn) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salafi Stannis Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 JonCon's Red Beard is AAR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Guy Garlan Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Mel prayed for a glimpse of Azor Ahai and the flames just showed her Snow...Larence Snow, that is (since Ramsay is a Bolton now) and the whole world goes "who?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sj4iy Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Random peasant #2,303. I mean, it's so obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Visenya Stark Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Hi, all. I know there are threads for "Most Crackpot Theories" and whatnot, but I am hoping to start one specifically for crackpot Azor Ahai Reborn theories. Right now, the majority of readers seem to agree that AAR is either Jon or Dany, or Mel possibly being right about Stannis the whole time. I have my own favorite that I've listed below, but what really got me thinking about this is the lolz I got when my best friend presented a case for how Patchface could be Azor Ahai. So sound off, the funnier the better. Here is my own theory, which was posted in one of the various crackpot threads many months ago: Edric Storm is Azor Ahai Reborn. Edric never made it to Lys. The autumn storms upon the narrow sea forced him and his bodyguards to live in hiding upon the Stepstones, where Edric has been training to be a warrior. When Euron Greyjoy and his Ironborn fleet sail through the Stepstones to King's Landing, Edric encounters the Lord and heirs of House Drumm and defeats them, claiming their Valyrian greatsword Red Rain for himself. Proud of his victory, Edric declares himself Robert Baratheon's heir, a king reborn amidst salt and smoke. Davos and Melisandre, reading the signs, summon the boy up to the Wall where he proceeds to whip the Night's Watch and wildlings into shape and leads them on a massive campaign into the Lands of Always Winter to rid the world of the Others once and for all. During the final battle, Edric single-handedly kills the Great Other and promptly urinates against the tree Bran is currently possessing.Edric is paraded back to the Wall as a hero, which is the final insult to Stannis. Stannis throws his crown at Edric's feet and then sulks off to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea where he and Patchface descend into the ocean to find a place that will accept them. Edric puts on Stannis's crown and marches to King's Landing, conquering left and right because he is channeling the spirit of Badass Bob Baratheon and he takes the Iron Throne with an overwhelming majority of Westerosi people supporting him. Early in his reign, he hunts down and kills every last remaining Targaryen and/or Blackfyre and establishes a permanent Baratheon dynasty on the Iron Throne.Wat? Gendry is Azor Ahai reborn because he is the only named character that can actually forge a sword.Tobho Mott.Mel prayed for a glimpse of Azor Ahai and the flames just showed her Snow...Larence Snow, that is (since Ramsay is a Bolton now) and the whole world goes "who?"^THIS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainGhost Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 There is no Azor Ahai. It was all a load of BS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I rather like Hot Pie the Baker that was Promised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Orys Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Or what if Stannis was AAR the whole time?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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