Roddy the Ruin Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Lord Stark has returned victorious from his Battle with King Bael. Proudly displaying the head of his fallen adversary. Lord Stark: "Mother, I've returned with the savage's head on a spike!"Matron Stark: ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyrhex Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Doran's cleaning lady. Dusting a human fucking skull. Every day. Sand gets through the window. Clean the skull. Some dust in the weekends. Clean the skull. At first, it's creepy to clean the skull, but the Prince of Dorne waited long for the skull, and he wants to display it. So fine, clean it. Then every now and then when Doran goes to vacation at the Water Gardens, and the place is nearly empty, she is left with the place all to herself. Herself and the skull. It's boring cleaning the thing with no one around, but who knows when the prince would return? She can't just leave the place dirty, and definatly not the skull, since it's on a pedestal in the middle of the room. Eventually, sh'ed start talking to the skull. Talking shit on Doran, making a mess in the kitchen when he has the munchies late at night. Hotah not talking to her, just looking creepy as fuck. In death, Gregor Clegane becomes someone's best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duckfield Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Doran's cleaning lady. Dusting a human fucking skull. Every day. Sand gets through the window. Clean the skull. Some dust in the weekends. Clean the skull. At first, it's creepy to clean the skull, but the Prince of Dorne waited long for the skull, and he wants to display it. So fine, clean it. Then every now and then when Doran goes to vacation at the Water Gardens, and the place is nearly empty, she is left with the place all to herself. Herself and the skull. It's boring cleaning the thing with no one around, but who knows when the prince would return? She can't just leave the place dirty, and definatly not the skull, since it's on a pedestal in the middle of the room. Eventually, sh'ed start talking to the skull. Talking shit on Doran, making a mess in the kitchen when he has the munchies late at night. Hotah not talking to her, just looking creepy as fuck. In death, Gregor Clegane becomes someone's best friend. wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duckfield Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Blackfish accepting Jaime's offer for a duel over Riverrun would have been hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batbob45 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Mel walking in the room and Stannis singing Under the sea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Guy Garlan Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Doran's cleaning lady. Dusting a human fucking skull. Every day. Sand gets through the window. Clean the skull. Some dust in the weekends. Clean the skull. At first, it's creepy to clean the skull, but the Prince of Dorne waited long for the skull, and he wants to display it. So fine, clean it. Then every now and then when Doran goes to vacation at the Water Gardens, and the place is nearly empty, she is left with the place all to herself. Herself and the skull. It's boring cleaning the thing with no one around, but who knows when the prince would return? She can't just leave the place dirty, and definatly not the skull, since it's on a pedestal in the middle of the room. Eventually, sh'ed start talking to the skull. Talking shit on Doran, making a mess in the kitchen when he has the munchies late at night. Hotah not talking to her, just looking creepy as fuck. In death, Gregor Clegane becomes someone's best friend.This is the Dornish POV we deserved instead of that Hotah shit. Wow indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonCon's Red Beard Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 "Haldon... where is the dwarf?" "What dwarf??" "The dwarf you took with you?" "..." "..." "..." "...!!" "You don't understand... there was a whorehouse and..." "You went to a whorehouse? Cool!" "Shut-the-fuck-up-kid-leave-us-alone. Where is the dwarf?" "Griff... your eye is twitching..." "...and take the Septa with you, please". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Brandon and Rhaegar in the afterlife.B: So um, you didn't force my sister.R: Nope.B: Huh. Rhaegar and Oberyn in the afterlife.R: Hey, brother.O: *glares in silence* Elia and Oberyn in the afterlife.E: So, you "avenged" me?O: Yes I did.E: How did that work out for you?O: *glares in silence* Sansa and Arya:A: *pointing at Littlefinger's body* Did you just kill that guy?S: Yep.A: *examines corpse* Strangler?S: Uh huh.A: Nice choice. I like basilisk venom myself.S: So...where have you been?A: Training as an assassin. You?S: Oh, you know. Hiding out, rising to power, eating lemon cakes. That sort of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drekinn Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Doran's cleaning lady. Dusting a human fucking skull. Every day. Sand gets through the window. Clean the skull. Some dust in the weekends. Clean the skull. At first, it's creepy to clean the skull, but the Prince of Dorne waited long for the skull, and he wants to display it. So fine, clean it. Then every now and then when Doran goes to vacation at the Water Gardens, and the place is nearly empty, she is left with the place all to herself. Herself and the skull. It's boring cleaning the thing with no one around, but who knows when the prince would return? She can't just leave the place dirty, and definatly not the skull, since it's on a pedestal in the middle of the room. Eventually, sh'ed start talking to the skull. Talking shit on Doran, making a mess in the kitchen when he has the munchies late at night. Hotah not talking to her, just looking creepy as fuck. In death, Gregor Clegane becomes someone's best friend. I consider this canon until proven otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Dany and TyrionD: Son of the Usurper's Dog!T: Daughter of the Mad King.D: Your father ordered the brutal murders of children!T: Your father roasted men alive and raped your mother.D: Your brother killed my father!T: I killed my father.D: Oh. Thanks for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonCon's Red Beard Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Ned, Cat and the children are taking breakfast. Ned: What you're doing today, kids? 10 years old Robb: Play! I'll be Aemon the Dragonknight and Jon is Theon Stark 10 years old Jon: No! Not fair! I want to be the Dragon!!!! Ned: *chokes with the food* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendTheKnee15 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 How awkward would it have been if Dany were in Tywin's place when Tyrion killed him/her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veloknight Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I typically imagine someone sitting down and reading a completed ASoIaF aloud at some pivotal moment, such as the feast at Winterfell, and R+L=J being revealed right there in front of Robert and everyone. Also, Catelyn's reaction. I love Catelyn, but her reaction to Jon's upward life trajectory (especially if, as I believe, he will ultimately make a southern power play) would just be too precious. Meta-awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Storm Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Ned, Cat and the children are taking breakfast.Ned: What you're doing today, kids?10 years old Robb: Play! I'll be Aemon the Dragonknight and Jon is Theon Stark10 years old Jon: No! Not fair! I want to be the Dragon!!!!Ned: *chokes with the food*Hahahha nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Beefheart Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 How I thought the Daenerys storyline was going to go before Aegon and JonCon landed: Doran: So, you've finally come west! Welcome to Dorne!Daenerys: Um. I don't know how to say this.Doran: We're so excited to see you. Are you ready to roast some Lannisters? Let's do this!Daenerys: So, you might wanna sit down. Wait, no. I didn't just say that. Sorry. I realize you can't stand up. Oh my gods, I am so sorry.Doran: What do you mean to tell me? Has my son put a little Dornish babe in your belly yet? We are such a fertile people.Daenerys: Yeah, about that. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocoalover1956 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Imagine if Ned had told Robert about the incest and they took care of the Lannister problem. Then Stannis shows up, and is like S: Robert, Cersei has been cheating on you!R: Yeah, Ned told me ages ago. Wait, you knew?!S: I was waiting for the right time... Imagine how much he'd hate Ned for one-upping him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Dany: "My Lord of Lannister, should you enter my service, what would you have of me?" Tyrion (leering) "Close your eyes, spread your legs, and I'll show you." Dany: "Drogon. Dinner!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batbob45 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (after Ned did not laugh)Renly- I have a feeling that I'm going to regret that joke since the only other person that would laugh at the joke was a person like LF. If some like LF laugh at the joke, what does that make me. after Tyrion slap JoffreyHound-I now wish that I was sworn with Stannis, Patchface aside, at least his kid would not treat me like the Prince that deserved that slap from the Imp would treat me. Tyrion after his 2nd small coucil handTyrion- I claim to be for the bastard,cripple,and broken things but I just prove that I selective about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hos the Hostage Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Sam meeting his father after Lord Tarly has been introduced to Gilly and Aemon Steelsong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777nhead Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Do you think Tyrion joins Dany becomes a dragon rider in TWOW? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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