Grape Jackanape Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Character deaths mean nothing to HC either. He's simply here to recruit Groupon members... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 FVS attends pagan celebrations dressed as the pope; noone gets off at being a buzzkill like FVS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape Jackanape Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 KoA misunderstands the concept of the Guiness Book of World Records. He thinks that it's a compilation of achievements while DRINKING Guiness. "Sheamus O'Flannery only hit THREE policeman with one barstool?! I can hit SIX!", he boasts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Formerly Varmyr Sixchins is credited by his friends with accidentally "killing" Pope John Paul the Second. In 2006, he was an exchange student attending a college in Rome. He remarked to his friends that "it'd be kind of cool" to attend a Pope's funeral and then be in the city during a Conclave. It was a rare opportunity, and how many Americans could say they were in Rome for that? Well, Il Papa died the very next day. His friends teased him relentlessly, joking that he had "cursed" or "killed" the Pope with his words. He DID however, attend the circus that was Pope John Paul's funeral. The atmosphere was bizarre, and he found himself peeing in the alley beside nuns from all over the world, eurotrash who had bussed in to protest catholics.in general, and school youth groups from Poland. All the while, merchants sold anything from commemorative plates and pictures to Il Papa puppets and hats. He returned to the steets for the conclave, but due to the crowds, had to watch the announcement on a large projection screen placed at nearby Santa Maria Maggiore, Rome's official catholic church. (The Vatican is not officially in Rome, being it's own country) For the rest of the semester, when he took friends or family who were visiting to tour the Vatican and the crypts below, his classmates would elbow him as they passed John Paul's tomb. "There he is, the one you killed." He was mortified at the time, but since he's come back to the states, FVS likes to tell the story of "That time I killed a Pope" at parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Character deaths mean nothing to HC either. He's simply here to recruit Groupon members... PS: lmfao at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arya kiddin' Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Thanks HC. It really grinds my gears when my post-episode geek-gasm is ruined by people having viscious arguments regarding morality issues within a work of fiction. And it's not like I can intervene when things get uncomfortable, like I do when friends of mine on FB get upset with one another- usually a simple "all right people, move along... nothin to see here..." will suffice; they get that I am just being silly to decrease the tension. On here people get all upset w the ones trying to break it up, and I just have to stop looking at posts that get confrontational. There is never any winner in these disagreements... just a lot of hurt feelings. Can't we all just get along? <end rant> Yes bs0. I myself have gotten tired of exchanging heated arguments with those self proclaimed geniuses. That is why we all now stick to just forum games. It feels a lot better here, and I've never seen anyone get rude. Well there was that one time when Honeyed Chicken replied with some choice swear words from the sixties to a 15 year old who hasn't been seen since, when he said that Brienne is not man enough to take on Jaime in single combat, but that's another story. Bs0 is the president of the pickers guild in her town, where the guild takes care of all the nit picking to be done on the internet, ranging from grammatical mistakes to falsely accused misogynists. For now she is the sole member, but she is not worried about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 They met at midnight, under the perpetual sunlight of the Arctic summer, on the windswept tundra. Midnight was the traditional way, and for such an ancient custom, it felt only right. The wind sent clouds of loose snow swirling along the ground, and the scarlet robes of Arya Kiddin' flapped up noisily to reveal the spindly legs and feet nestled in their bed slippers beneath.Exactly 77 paces away, on a rise in the snow, stood his opponent, the Grand Djini of the Magicians Guild these bast 7,777.77 years. The time was ripe for his downfall, and Arya Kiddin knew he was the man to bring about this change. Besides, those flowing sky blue robes with the luxurious silver threads would be stunning with his eyes.A disembodied voice drifted on the wind. "On my count, you shall begin. The rules are as tradition decress - that is, no spells below the waist, no use of The Prohibition of 2009* and no bringing family members into the fight. Now, on my word. One." Arya Kiddin' swallowed."Two."Arya Kiddin' coughed."Three."Arya Kiddin'shuffled his feet inside his flowery bed slippers."Four."He tightened the belt around his waist."Five."A snot dripped from.the end of his nose."Six."He hastily wiped it on his sleeve and looked alertly at his foe."Seven!" Cried the voice.And so, in the languages of ancient Latin, Arabic and Greek, and the lost tongues if the Haviji Kupa tribe, the Magicians' Fight began.A pit of venomous snakes opened before AK, but he spoke a Word and it transfored into a hole filled with cuddly toys. He answered with a bolt of lightning which crackled and sizzled and fell short after travelling just 1 metre. Ice exploded to either side of him, sending him high into the air and exposig his greying underwear beneath his robe. He landed with a *thunp* and conjured up the Four Winds of the Earth to destroy his foe. Or tried to. He must have mixed up the words though, because he simply smelled an awful and pungent smell of faeces. His enemy was not so incompetent, and a rain of elephants fell around AK which he avoided with pure luck. This was going badly, and things went from bad to worse as an ivisible force pulled him towards the Grand Djini.There was one hope left, he jabbered away swiftly in a thousand thousand tongues and there was a flash of brilliant green smoke around his person. And where Artlya Kiddin had stood just a moment before, stood Arya Kiddin'. "Oh..." whimpered Arya Kiddin, curling into a ball.With a whip, the Grand Djini slapped a whip of fire across AK's scrawny thighs before raising it for the killing bl-"Stop!" cried the disembodied voice. "You have struck beneath the waist, and therefore AK wins by default. You are banished to the nether realms forever. Goodbye."And that is the tale of how Arya Kiddin' became Grand Master of the Magicians' Guild.The Prohibition of 2009 was a lengthy law passed by the Guild of Magicians in a unanimous vote. It was a 777 page document that detailed exactly why no spell could be used in connection with a certain newly.made Canadian child singer, covering every loophole and escape clause imagineable. This foresight just goes to show those nay-sayers that believe the Guild of Magicians have no power anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Helena is preparing to jump into a vat of toxic waste 'cause she believes it will give her superpowers.BtwEnjoyed your comicbook post, Helena. And I'm fairly sure AK and BS0 prefer the super-personas you gave them as opposed to being Kid FrenchMaid and Bra-Woman respectively; though, I suspect HC would like to remain FrenchMaid-Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Abominable SnowOther Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 KoA can only pee when sitting down like a girl cuz he has a bad case of Bieber mania and wants to be as womanly as possible. His entire room is decorated in first rate Beiber sketches, posters, Unicorn biebers and most important off all... ...Victoria Secret lingerie and thongs with, again, Bieber faces imprinted on the front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 SnowOther is trying very hard to expose the Bieber-mania of everyone around him, thereby deflecting attention from his own obsession with the Brittney. Despite many thousands of dollars sent on therapy, he has been unable to break the lock the former golden child of pop holds on his mind.If only it was limited to dressing his room in Spears regalia, that would be one thing, but he can't help himself. He keeps walking into the office wearing an exact replica of the latest skimpy outfit Britney wore at her latest concert. This can't go on much longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJR the PR of TaFW Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 HC believes that toothpaste is made out of Jojen!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 HC believes that toothpaste is made out of Jojen!!!!! It's not?! Darn! :P KJR is an absolute slave to Betty Crocker chocolate fudge frosting in a can. He had his garage turned into a storage facility and gets direct factory truckloads once a month. KJR alone consumes more Betty Crocker chocolate fudge frosting than the 6 northern counties of the state of Louisiana combined. He puts it on everything. Pork chops? Slather!! Mixed mescalin tossed greens with cranberry vinaigrette? Dumps on tablespoons. Breakfast cereal? 5 more tablespoons. Cocktail hour? BC choc fudge frosting and gin, blended till frothy. yum?? Night cap? BC choco fudge frosting and ??? nothing. Just frosting. No cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Formerly Varmyr Sixchins is credited by his friends with accidentally "killing" Pope John Paul the Second. In 2006, he was an exchange student attending a college in Rome. He remarked to his friends that "it'd be kind of cool" to attend a Pope's funeral and then be in the city during a Conclave. It was a rare opportunity, and how many Americans could say they were in Rome for that? Well, Il Papa died the very next day. His friends teased him relentlessly, joking that he had "cursed" or "killed" the Pope with his words.He DID however, attend the circus that was Pope John Paul's funeral. The atmosphere was bizarre, and he found himself peeing in the alley beside nuns from all over the world, eurotrash who had bussed in to protest catholics.in general, and school youth groups from Poland. All the while, merchants sold anything from commemorative plates and pictures to Il Papa puppets and hats. He returned to the steets for the conclave, but due to the crowds, had to watch the announcement on a large projection screen placed at nearby Santa Maria Maggiore, Rome's official catholic church. (The Vatican is not officially in Rome, being it's own country)For the rest of the semester, when he took friends or family who were visiting to tour the Vatican and the crypts below, his classmates would elbow him as they passed John Paul's tomb. "There he is, the one you killed." He was mortified at the time, but since he's come back to the states, FVS likes to tell the story of "That time I killed a Pope" at parties.This wasn't about me, but I have a story. . . (yes, it's true. Live long enough and you have a weird story for every occasion. And btw, your knowledge, BS0 of what goes on in Rome & at the Vatican after the death of a pope is a . . . .impressive!).A number of years ago I had a couple friends working for me, and we were a pretty good trio. The morning of this story I had just heard something on the news (NPR) that made my blood boil. A former pop star turned California Congressman made a pronouncement about environmentalists (which i consider myself to be. Whether you are one or not, you can picture what your feelings might be if a politician says something harsh and disrespectful about a group you belong to.) - particularly, I think it was about the kids who were trying to save old growth trees by living in them. I forget his exact words, but I remember what I said to my work friends: "If xxxxx xxxx got run over by a truck and killed, it wouldn't bother me a bit."LESS than an hour later on the radio: "Sad news. Congressman xxxxx xxxx was killed last night in a skiing accident. He crashed into a tree."I wish I could have taken a picture of my friend's faces. It was like I suddenly sprouted devil's horns or something. It was a lesson to me to watch what I say - especially when I get worked up about something. And since I've disrupted the order, here's a fable about BS0. Once upon a time there was a child who loved crinoline and lace. Loved curly hair and dolls and all things froo-froo. The child had a twin. The twin was as opposite as it is possible to be. Trucks, decaying frog parts, dirt under the finger nails (and everywhere else on the body) and thumbtacks on everybody's chair (you eventually learned to look) were the passions of the twin.Yes, BS0 was a tough customer in her youth. Nobody who knows her now as the principle violinist of the Little Rock Symphony Orchestra has the faintest idea what she was like then. And similarly, no one who works out at one of brother Bob's Manly Man Gym franchises would ever guess that he once preferred Barbie to barbells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 As I was walking past the funeral parlour today, a commotion caught ny attention. Intrigued, I paused to listen."I'm sorry, sir, but this just isn't the time or the place!" came the distressed tones of the funeral director."Its NEVER a good time!" shouted the petulant Honeyed Chicken, followed by the sound of him stamping his feet. It sounded like he was close to one of his temper tantrums. There was a slap as sonething was slammed onto a desk and the doors burst open, with Honeyed Chicken whirling out like a tempest, his fury a terrible thing to behold. Curious, I popped my head around the door to the funeral parlour. The distressed director looked up and gestured at the book Honeyed Chicken had left on the desk.It was 1001 jokes about death."I told him, its not the time or place to advertise that!" wailed the funeral director Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 As I was walking past the funeral parlour today, a commotion caught ny attention. Intrigued, I paused to listen."I'm sorry, sir, but this just isn't the time or the place!" came the distressed tones of the funeral director."Its NEVER a good time!" shouted the petulant Honeyed Chicken, followed by the sound of him stamping his feet. It sounded like he was close to one of his temper tantrums.There was a slap as sonething was slammed onto a desk and the doors burst open, with Honeyed Chicken whirling out like a tempest, his fury a terrible thing to behold. Curious, I popped my head around the door to the funeral parlour.The distressed director looked up and gestured at the book Honeyed Chicken had left on the desk.It was 1001 jokes about death."I told him, its not the time or place to advertise that!" wailed the funeral directorAnother true story. When we were kids - still in grade school, Scholastic Books (who would later publish HP if I'm not mistaken) came out with 101 Elephant jokes. This inspired my brother and me to make our own 101 Batman Jokes. We wrote and illustrated all our own jokes. I think we got as far as 20 or so before our effort petered out. I've no idea what happened to our creations.A good thing too. Helena believes 100% in anything she reads or hears that came out before she was born. So when she saw a "brush your breath with Dentyne" commercial from the 80's she totally bought it and has been chewing Dentyne around the clock ever since.Her friends might not like her breath any better than before, but Helena is building up to the strongest bite in town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape Jackanape Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 HC once told that he hates historical inaccuracies more than Thomas Jefferson hated submarines in the 1970's... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 This wasn't about me, but I have a story. . . (yes, it's true. Live long enough and you have a weird story for every occasion. And btw, your knowledge, BS0 of what goes on in Rome & at the Vatican after the death of a pope is a . . . .impressive!). quote] I know Rome like the back of my hand almost! When I lived in Sicily I had a bf in Rome, who flew me up there every other weekend. I wandered the streets and alleys while he worked and became de facto tour guide when friends/family visited. I was there during the funeral but we watched the conclave on tv. My experiences season my stories. (Write what you know!) But no, for Helena, I never jumped naked in Trevi fountain, mooned the Pope or dropped bouncy balls on worshipers as we climbed the duomo. We joked about throwing pennies down, actually... and in my mind I saw bouncy balls, and that made me giggle. FSC is cooking for this weekend's Rainbow Gathering, which includes all Rainbow Family members and their kids/dogs from the neighboring states who plan on camping on his property to celebrate earth day together like they do every year. Right now he's making hundreds of pancakes. Someone needs to remind him about all the leftover pancakes his wife and kids were forced to eat for the whole month after the gathering last year. And that his makeshift outhouse/porto potty overflowed and made a potential biological illness threat, as well as a hazard for anyone with any sort of sense of smell. FSC really needs to put down the spatula and pick up the shovel- like, yesterday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Beautifulsouth0 went is crafting a dress for her daughters' Prom Night. Made from the finely spun silk of 1000 virgin spiders, stitched by the delicate hands of 1000 blind, albino mice and bejewelled with the dewdrops from 1000 full moon nights, the dress has taken 1000 days to craft and is a work of incredible beauty. Beautifulsouth0 is now blessing the dress with 1000 blessings in the tongue of 1000 dead civilisations, and only then will her daughter be allowed to wear her Prom Dress.All very nice of course, but the dress required so much time and effort that her daughter has now left home, her Prom Night having happened over three years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grape Jackanape Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 HatM refers to her personal space as her "aura of lady-yum.". As in, "You're too close. Please stand back & respect my aura of lady-yum!"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Many people like candles. You like candles, I like candles. The light they cast is warm and romantic.UNLESSThe candle was made FVS. He likes to treat his wicks with a variety of metals and compounds that create light in unusual parts of the spectrum. He'll also treat the paraffin with different scents. For example, your taper may start off shedding a warm orange light with a slight hint of cloves and change suddenly to a pinkish hue with a bubble gum scent.I'd tell you more, but why spoil the surprise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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