Arya kiddin' Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 This thread is slower than the last. :idea: Bs0 is physically incapable to feel rain, or a shower. The only way she can feel wet is in a bath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJR the PR of TaFW Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 When AK leaves this forum, he just sits in front of his computer, waiting, and watching everyone else deal with his absence. Sometimes he drinks hot chocolates and eats raisin molasses cookies while chortling at our inability to cope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Frustrated with the confining social norms and expectancies that restrict him to his alloted gender role, King Joffrey's Revenge has been sitting.in his one bedroom bungalow painstakingly crafting himself a beautiful gown. The finest black silk and cotton, slashed with purple velvet and embellished with amethysts and opals, sleeves dragging down and trailing the floor. Once it was crafted, he strode from.his.home in the new gown, bedecked with glittering.rings, necklaces and bracelets, a towering headress of feathers, jewels and lace. With a cold.challenge in his fiery green eyes, KJR strode down his garden path and.onto the crowded street, willing any to confront him about his challenge against gender stereotypes, strutting his stuff to the sound of I am.who I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I would.like to interrupt our regularly scheduled lies to ask if anyone has ever watched "Would I like to you?" Its a very suitable show for this thread :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Yes and no. Yes, I would lie to you and no, ain't never seen It.Helena makes her living by playing butt double to Jack Nicholson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batbob45 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Knight of Ashes father is Selmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arya kiddin' Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Batbob45 likes to rag about his butt hair on his first dates. He has had 74 first dates so far. When AK leaves this forum, he just sits in front of his computer, waiting, and watching everyone else deal with his absence. Sometimes he drinks hot chocolates and eats raisin molasses cookies while chortling at our inability to cope. :lol: Great I would.like to interrupt our regularly scheduled lies to ask if anyone has ever watched "Would I like to you?" Its a very suitable show for this thread :lol: Ooooo I must check this out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Arya Kidding has spent 4 years and adopted 11 cats, but he finally trained one to press the "brew" button on his Keurig coffee machine first thing every morning. The cat brushes the button with her rear end, but success is success! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 Beautifulsouth0 is actually a genetic male with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, which resulted in him being mislabelled as a female at birth. Come puberty, a sudden surge of testosterone caused the tree to sprout from the foliage, but at this point Beautifulsouth0 was happy in her designated female gender. Consequently, she underwent reassignment surgery to have the offending penis removed and allow her to develop into the wonderful young woman we know and love today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Helena was talking to a moth the other evening. He was trying to break into An electric bulb And land on the filiment wires. Why do you fellows Pull this stunt, she asked. Because it is the moth thing to do? Or why? If that had been an uncovered candle Instead of a domed bulb You would now be an unsightly cinder. Have you no sense? Plenty of it, he answered. But at times, you get tired of using it. We get bored with routine. We crave excitement And beauty. Fire is beautiful. And dangerous. We know if we get too close It will kill us. But what does that matter? It is better to be happy for a moment And to be burned up with the exquisite Than live a long time Plain as we are. So we wad ourselves up Into a little ball And shoot. That's what life is for. Our attitude towards life Is easy come easy go. We are like what humans used to be Before they evolved And took themselves too seriously To enjoy life And use theirs to achieve One singular great thing. Helena wanted to argue his philosophy. Surely one would rather Have half the happiness And twice the longevity. But as she drew in a breath And lit a cigarette He went and immolated himself By diving into the flame Of a patented brand cigarette lighter. She only wished that she Wanted something as badly As he wanted To fry himself to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arya kiddin' Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Oh wow. :bowdown: Bs0 is trying to recreate Michaelangelo's David in her backyard, using leftover dough from the bread factory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 AK forgot to mention it's leftover dough from the bread factory that HE STOLE, smuggling it out one knapsack at a time, instead of disposing it in the dumpsters out back the way his shift supervisor instructed him to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 Beautifulssouth0 has a pet notebook called Marvin, who she has had since she was a wee lass with freckles on her cheeks. Marvin is approaching his 28th birthday but still looks as pristine as the day she bought him at WH Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 One of Helena's favorite sports currently is spotting competingly humourous speculative titles for the next Star Wars film. Her current top three include: Episode VII: Dawn of the Space Pig Episode VII: Back to the Beach And Episode VII: The Age of The Bureaucrats (The first two are not mine, AV club) Eta- OK, got another one. Episode VII: Typesetters of the Galaxy, Unite! Lol. This is fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 BS0 had all her ex-boyfriends stuffed and put prominently on display in her living room. She thinks of them as conversation pieces, and the varying amounts of time it takes guests to get up enough nerve to comment on this fascinates her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 *in line with my earlier lie about Beautifulsouth0*Knight of Ashes is actually a genetic female who suffers from an extreme case of congenital adrenal hyperplasia which caused him to be born with ambiguous genitalia - a swollen labia that resembled a penis. Consequrntly, he was mislabelled as a male birth, and grew up as Knight of Ashes, despite.never quite fitting in with the other boys in his class, and.some rather awkward moments in the locker rooms.But deep down, Knight of Ashes will always feel like a little blonde girl called Talula. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Helena is actually a fat, hairy hillbilly who picks dead skin from her toes and flicks them at random strangers. That is, when she's done chewing on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Groat Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 On joining the local chapter of the Fornicatori club, KoA was stuffed, mounted, and placed in BS0's living room. :dunno: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arya kiddin' Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Ghost of Groat has made various suggestions to his local supermarket under different names demanding more shelf space for his own creation, pistachio flavored green chocolate. It's totally organic and tastes like smelly feet with a pinch of hairy knuckles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulsouth0 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 (So if the Fornicatori's were a brotherhood, I think the name of the group would be a Unit, they'd meet in a Conjugation, and members would be simply known as Members, from Apprentice Members to Master Members. And of course, we'd allow both women and men to join, because there's always that crazy couple of years in college where the trendy thing to do.) Arya Kidding was home in between classes and put some leftover chicken in the oven for lunch. His roommate was drying her hair, getting ready to go, well, who knows where, he never pays attention to Shelly anyway, unless the rent is due. He switched the TV on and dialed up an episode of Friends. Sometimes you just wanna turn your brain off and give it a rest, you know? Shelly stuck her head out into the hall and said "Something smells like burning plastic. Do you smell that? Or is it in here? Maybe it's this old hair dryer." "Dunno," mumbled Arya Kidding. "Not paying attention," he said in his head, then realized he hadn't said it out loud. He considered doing so, but it was a completely unimportant statement to make. Pointing it out seemed unnecessary. Shelly stumbled past the tv, into the kitchen, and made a PB & J. Arya Kidding looked up and sighed with exasperation- that bitch used his seedless black raspberry jam again. She made a face, and just before he opened up his mouth to tell her what he thought of her, her eyes went big and wide. "Fire fire fire 911 water water!" She forced out. Then he saw the smoke rising, hugging the wall. It was black and acrid. The flames lined the bottom of the oven drawer, where Shelly was dumping water. But it was too late, and the tea towels burst into flames, spreading quickly to the countertop. Arya Kidding was out the door like a bolt of lightning. He knocked on every apartment door along the way, yelling "Get out! Get out! Fire fire fire!" He ran down three flights of stairs then turned around to see smoke pouring out of his apartment's balcony windows. He watched silently as he noticed the neighboring windows begin to leak the smoke as well. Flames licked the doorframes, and he heard the sirens of the oncoming fire engines. He turned in their direction, but the next second he found himself laying flat on his back in the grass, with Shelly beating her fists on his chest. "You and your damn LUNCH burned us all out of a home!" She cried. "You're the dumbass who keeps plastic Tupperware in the oven drawer," he yelled as he fought back. The dam had broken, and he pounded into her face with the memory of every past indiscretion. He never noticed the police car, or that the extra pairs of hands were officers of the law. He was blind with fury. It wasn't until he was being booked and fingerprinted that he considered how he was going to tell his parents that he not only burned his apartment down, but he was now being expelled for assault. Guess there's nothing left to do but make THAT phone call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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