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Dating #14- we can't all be Freddie Mercury


Kelli Fury

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@karaddin: Yes, you are correct, I meant the plural "you" in regards to when it feels right to have sex. Also in my experience there's no correlation between the amount of time you wait and the success of the relationship.


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OK, suggestions required - what makes a picnic date go well? All foodstuffs/equipment considered.

1. No bugs.

2. Pleasant weather.

3. Keep it simple - wine, a good cheese, ripe pears, and a great loaf of bread. Oh, and thou beside me. :P

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I'd like to add "Good secluded location" as #4.



You don't want drunk idiots crashing your party, kids playing soccer all around you, or god forbid some people playing ultimate frisbee. That's a definite mood-killer right there, and you're pretty sure to experience at least one of those if you go to a public park.



Plus it's nice with a romantic view or whatever.


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I had a date scheduled last weekend (the first in about a month) and then the day before the date, the guy texted me and asked me what kind of birth control I was on. WHAT!?!

I have another date set for Friday night... this guy has kids and works IT, but the more I learn about him, the less attractive he's becoming. I am not saying these are dealbreakers, but it could be better... found out he lives with his parents? is remodeling a bus to LIVE IN one day... his children hate him?(WTF?) and he wanted to know if I would be up for going to his church and becoming a full-time member.... sigh. Dude.

:rofl:

Where on earth do you find them? Where?? You can't make this sh** up! I'm NEVER EVER moving to Austin.

Kay, really sorry. Hang in there, he'll be back.

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II have another date set for Friday night... this guy has kids and works IT, but the more I learn about him, the less attractive he's becoming. I am not saying these are dealbreakers, but it could be better... found out he lives with his parents? is remodeling a bus to LIVE IN one day... his children hate him?(WTF?) and he wanted to know if I would be up for going to his church and becoming a full-time member.... sigh. Dude.

If any of those 4 aren't a complete dealbreaker, then all 4 together should be a dealbreaker. You can do better. MUCH better.

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If any of those 4 aren't a complete dealbreaker, then all 4 together should be a dealbreaker. You can do better. MUCH better.

Seriously. I'm a little concerned about what constitutes a dealbreaker if these four are not sufficient.

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Seriously. I'm a little concerned about what constitutes a dealbreaker if these four are not sufficient.

Well, in fairness those are only the snippets, not the full story. Could be living with parents to help out, etc.

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Well, in fairness those are only the snippets, not the full story. Could be living with parents to help out, etc.

Right, but that's why having four of them is so worrisome. It is very hard to come up with a scenario where all four makes sense, even giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Particularly the children hating him and wanting you to join his church.

Is it possible that this guy is the 1 in 100 where this isn't indicative of a problem? Yes it is. Do you want to invest your time and emotions on the possibility that he is the 1%?

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Reading Mandy's post half asleep it seemed like she was including working in IT as one of the near deal breakers and that everyone agreed with that conclusion... I was getting all defensive, wtf is wrong with IT?!

Then I read the post again.

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Let's see:

Things are going decent with C. She wants to go to the beach, which means I can show off the thirty pounds I've lost.

The ex apparently "loves me", but that's only after she just found out I'd checked myself into the mental health clinic and didnt tell her.

Trying to finalize a new date with an aspiring nurse. Hope she's into role playing.

Eta: Well, Chats, it usually takes me once to learn their sleeping habits. Once I do that, I can adjust my own, because I don't have any particular preference for how I sleep. So, if possible, work on staying up after they've fallen to sleep so you can see their preferences, if they like to cuddle and all that kind of stuff.

Ladies first is always my approach to the shower. Only shower with her if we're at her place. Never allow myself to shower with her at my place. Tried and true for me.

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Showering together is weird to me. While I'm pretty comfortable with him, I'd rather not wash my bits in front of him :laugh: While we were staying with friends in Belgium, I had to do my makeup in the bathroom while my boyfriend was in the shower cubicle. It was alright for 4 days, but I'd rather not do that all the time. Bathroom time is private time, as far as I'm concerned.

Sleeping together took me a while to get used to. I hadn't shared my bed for years. He still annoys me sometimes - sticking his bum out and pushing me off the bed, elbowing me in the face - and I snore sometimes and talk in my sleep, but we're pretty used to each other now. It'll get easier once we're living closer together, I think. We're not the kind of couple that has to cuddle either. If someone's uncomfortable, they're perfectly free to move away and get into a comfy position. The idea that one person gets upset if the other doesn't want to cuddle is beyond me.

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