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Dating #14- we can't all be Freddie Mercury


Kelli Fury

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We tend to like a cuddle to begin with, but it doesn't last through the entire night. We're more likely to cuddle if we're napping.

I have really long hair too, and I did not know pain until I tried to move in my sleep and it was tucked under his arm. Ouch. I try to gather it up and tuck it under my head, or put it in a ponytail.

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We still have trouble sleeping together, and it's been what, almost 3 years? My bf is a freaking radiator. I try to cuddle, but I end up sweaty. Plus I have a very particular position that I have to be in to fall asleep that is not very conducive to cuddling. He is a big cuddler, though, and it does hurt his feelings sometimes that I don't want to cuddle for very long. Sometimes if I am really sleepy I can fall asleep while cuddling, which is nice, but falling asleep is usually not easy for me so it's best not to try to force it. He also sleeps with 6+ pillows in some weird nesting formation. He snores sometimes, which I hate. I think I talk in my sleep. He says I steal the blankets, which is rarely true! When I sleep by myself the blanket is practically untouched, but he messes it up so much that it goes everywhere. And I get really bad breath when I sleep, which I know must be gross to deal with. And he likes to sleep naked and I like pajamas...



Basically it's a wonder we ever get any sleep! But I'd still rather sleep with him than sleep alone.



ETA: Oh and because he is so cuddly, he usually migrates over to my side of the bed. We have a king sized bed and I still end up with barely enough room to turn over!


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:lol: I have a king size bed now, and the same happens with us sometimes. He curls up and shoves me off the bed with his arse. Funny really, as he's stick-thin and I'm, ahem, curvy, and yet it's his bum that's getting in the way.

Everyone gets bad breath in the mornings. We both do, but seeing as we both smell, who cares :p

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If my partner doesn't like it it's fine, but if I get to choose I like the contact when going to sleep.

I'm having one of those spells on OKC where no one replies to my messages. Huge downer. :(

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I can't sleep while cuddling. Just can't do it. I'm all for cuddling in waking hours but when it's time to sleep I need my space. I'm always hot, even worse when we're sharing body heat. Plus it takes me a while to get comfortable and that involves moving around a lot.

I cannot be a pleasant person to share a bed with when it comes to actually sleeping.

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I swear that by having separate blankets, my wife and I saved our marriage. I think I would have long since murdered her in her sleep, we tried the blanket sharing and just....no...she either takes them all or dumps the whole thing on me, with separate blankets I can curl up with the ratty rag I use and she can either do a thin sheet or a heavy comforter depending on the weather.

I want this. Thought it was absurd when I found out it was a thing but now ... well, my wife thinks that a duvet is like a sleeping bag she can wrap around herself until she is entirely enveloped and I'm left with a miserable corner.

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I want this. Thought it was absurd when I found out it was a thing but now ... well, my wife thinks that a duvet is like a sleeping bag she can wrap around herself until she is entirely enveloped and I'm left with a miserable corner.

Do it, you won't regret it. There is no downside.

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I am not opposed to the idea of separate bedrooms, at some point. The reason being, my boyfriend is a nightmare to wake up in the morning. He needs about 5 alarms, he even uses one of those special alarm clocks that's extra-loud, and even then he doesn't always hear it. Whereas I need one alarm - a nice soft alarm on my phone, of seagulls and waves crashing - and I'm awake. I'll get up, jump straight in the shower, and be fine. He grumbles, drags his feet, has to sit up in bed for a while, playing on his phone to "wake up".

Sigh. I doubt I could deal with that all the time if we were both working full-time. It was bad enough last summer, when he had to be at work at 7am and I would stay over and drive him in the morning. I was sorely tempted to just kick him awake every morning :laugh:

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my boyfriend is a nightmare to wake up in the morning. He needs about 5 alarms, he even uses one of those special alarm clocks that's extra-loud, and even then he doesn't always hear it.

I'm the same. I have a normal alarm clock and the alarm on my phone. I have three alarms at half hour intervals beginning 90 minutes before I have to get up. I can't get out of bed with just one alarm.

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Oh, my girlfriend definitely has a harder time getting up than I do. I'm up at the first noise and she likes to snooze. So what we usually do is I set an alarm and then I wake her up, even though I don't have to get up at that time. I figure that if I'm gonna wake up anyway I might as well wake up and make sure she gets up too.

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My boyfriend can sleep all day if you let him. Maybe it's a quality issue for him too. Or a laziness one.

I can sleep for ages too, if I have nothing to get up for. I have been known to wake up early, drift back off, and wake up at 1pm wondering what the hell happened. But I know that's me being lazy.

I get annoyed if he doesn't wake up, especially if he's the one who has to get up for something, and yet I'm the one being rudely awoken by his bloody alarm. Thankfully us living together is at least another year away, so I have some time to get him out of this habit :p

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It doesn't necessarily mean that you're not getting enough sleep, it can be related to being a night person (delayed phase sleep disorder if it's extreme enough to get a medical diagnosis), if I have to get up too early I also need multiple alarm clocks (though I set them a few minutes apart), and I could be on an early (for me, not for others) schedule like that for months, and I can be getting enough sleep, and if it's too early for me, my body cannot handle it and I cannot adjust.


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I wake up STRAIGHT AWAY when I hear the alarm, but I am terrible for just staying in bed where it's warm and safe for like half an hour or an hour after the alarm.

If I have something to do or a friend staying over I find it really easy to get up though.

my flat mate is a NIGHTMARE for waking up; she has about 5 LOUD, varying alarms and not only does not get out of bed but DOES NOT WAKE UP AT ALL TO HEAR THEM, this has lasted about an hour before (i am sure even though can't think which alarms last that long) and i have to get out of bed and physically wake her up.

I sleep between two comfy pillows and have to cuddle a pillow to fall asleep but pillows aren't heavy so they don't hurt my arm and aren't body temperature so I'm not boiling. Ex was a major cuddler and was HOT, in the actual temperature sense, i liked the cuddling but didn't like being really hot and feeling mildly suffocated lol.

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I'd like to add "Good secluded location" as #4.

You don't want drunk idiots crashing your party, kids playing soccer all around you, or god forbid some people playing ultimate frisbee. That's a definite mood-killer right there, and you're pretty sure to experience at least one of those if you go to a public park.

Plus it's nice with a romantic view or whatever.

Hah, I was the Ultimate Frisbee player killing someone's buzz yesterday - there was a couple doing some heavy petting right next to our pitches...they stopped to watch the game once we got going though :P. I know where most of the Frisbee teams in London play so I should be fine for avoiding them when it's my turn.

Thanks for the hints guys - fairly common sense but always worth checking if there's something crucial I'm forgetting. I have to say, I'm looking forward to this one. I've been using OKCupid for a while, but for once this is someone who I didn't meet over the internet. For all that online dating is a boon, there's definitely something to the whole 'organically clicking at a random meeting' thing that you just don't get when there are screens/profiles in the way. Might be that it feels more like the universe is smiling at you when you just happen to meet someone when you're not expecting it rather than having to go looking? How do other people feel about that sort of thing?

ST

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