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If George RR Martin wrote Lord of the Rings (Didn't know where to put this)


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#1 Christian Walters

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:09 PM

"And while the Hobbits were all dancing, merrily, during Bilbo's birthday party, little did they know a vast horde of Sauron's minions were marching right towards them armed with Iron Axes, swords, sickles, and warhammers. As they marched through the Barrowlands, the hobbits continued to dance. Finally the hordes showed up screaming and snarling at the peaceful group of Hobbits and the Hobbits cheerfulness crumbled into ash. They all ran in every direction but to no avail. The orcs slaughtered all of them with no discrimination at all. Fathers, sons, mothers, daughters, brothers, sisters were all mutilated. As the orcs were leaving the scarred, scorched remains of Hobbiton, Gandalf rode in with his pale mare, Shadowfax. Gandalf gaped at the ruins of Hobbiton and the torn, mutilated corpses of the hobbits. From that day on, he vowed revenge for all of his dead friends."

 

What do you guys think of it? My friend and I were talking about how interesting it would be if George RR Martin ever wrote this series and I kinda pulled this out of my head. 



#2 Wmarshal

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:12 PM

I believe both writes are great, to say Martin would do better is untrue, for it would be a different book.



#3 Hangover of the Morning

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:13 PM

Most likely, we'd be still wondering and theorising if Frodo and Sam will ever make it to Mordor. 



#4 Galaxian

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:13 PM

Sean Bean still would have died :lol:



#5 Claire of House Thorpe

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:17 PM

Several different families would be fighting over a throne that rightfully belongs to Aragorn.

#6 Mladen

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:38 PM

Galadriel and Elrond would certainly have some issues...



#7 WeaselPie

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:40 PM

If JRRT wrote ASOIAF....



#8 Long Live The Onion King

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:40 PM

"Sean Bean still would have died "

 

Awesome.


Edited by Long Live The Onion King, 01 August 2014 - 08:42 PM.


#9 Big Daddy

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:41 PM

Peter Jackson never would have had to pull scenes of the enemy out of his ass, he could have had every detail on Sauron's dining menu.



#10 Galaxian

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:43 PM

If Tolkien had written ASOIAF Bloodraven would have fixed Bran's legs and Robb would have taken either Roose or Walder with down him during the Red Wedding.


Edited by Galaxian, 01 August 2014 - 08:44 PM.


#11 Kienn

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:45 PM

More likely - Aragorn would be a usurper, and Sauron would be the true heir just trying to take his throne back.



#12 WilliamWesterosiWallace

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:50 PM

It is a great discussion, and a cool way to praise the work of both authors, but I can't let this oportunity to quote the show escape from my grasp:

 

"So you didn't know where to put it?"

 

:)



#13 yolkboy

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:50 PM

I'm honestly not thinking about where incest would rear it's head. :mellow:



#14 Claire of House Thorpe

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 08:50 PM

If Tolkien wrote ASOIAF, Dany would be wielding a famous sword she inherited from her great-great-great-grandfather.

Brienne would have killed the captain of the Others.

Bran, Jojen, Hodor, and Meera would go on a quest to destroy the one ring.

#15 Yurii Hightower

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 09:26 PM

1. Saruman would have had a POV where we discover how Gandalf deceived him to take his position;

2. Legola's relatives would've had killed Gimli in front of him as a note not to mix with lesser folks;

3. Faramir would've searched for vengeance on the death of his brother and lover Boromir;

4. Aragorn, a secret Targaryen. 



#16 TheHouseHB

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 09:30 PM

Ned Stark would come back to life and tell Jon he is the chosen one. Then lead him to victory against the Others then Jon and Daenerys end up married and have babies named Rhaenys, Lyanna and Aegon. The realm prospers and everyone lives happily ever after.

#17 Jon of the (Evil) Dead

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 09:43 PM

Most likely, we'd be still wondering and theorising if Frodo and Sam will ever make it to Mordor. 

 

You read my mind

 

I guess even fucking Tom Bombadil would have his own POV by now



#18 Cas Stark

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 09:49 PM

 

You read my mind

 

I guess even fucking Tom Bombadil would have his own POV by now

 

You guess?  



#19 Burning down the House

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 09:59 PM

Sam and Frodo would be lovers.



#20 The Wolves

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Posted 01 August 2014 - 10:01 PM

Everybody would have died.