JonisHenryTudor Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 ...it wouldn't be as boring and monotonous as it turned out to be. Ouch. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicomo Cosca Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Sam and Frodo would be lovers.They weren't?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Walters Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 I'm pretty sure that the "Tomb of Balin" in the Mines of Moria would turn into the "Tomb of Everyone" when the goblins attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Cygne Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 There were no sex scenes. Sam's fat pink mast would make an appearance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
of man and wolf Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I have always seen Melisandre as Martin's brilliant, twisted version of Gandalf, only a hundred times more entertaining and fun to read about. I find her dull in comparison. Not just to Gandalf, but as a character, she doesn't do much for me. In a way she kind of negatively affects the Stannis chapters and his story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Cygne Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Gandalf is much more interesting than Melisandre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
of man and wolf Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Gandalf is much more interesting than Melisandre. Indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baela of Pentos Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Golem is a secret Targ. Nah, he is azor ahai reborn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Bastard Snow Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 The Eagles would be used to solve all proble-oh wait..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMR Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Frodo would have sold the ring and spent the money on whores and wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonCon's Red Beard Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Gandalf is much more interesting than Melisandre. But Gandalf doesn't have Carice's fine ass. I think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wise Fool Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Bilbo and Frodo would not simply be related, but have an incestuous relationship built on lies and hatred. Eventually Frodo would find out the truth about the death of his sister-mother, and murder Bilbo with a crossbow. When he leaves, there is no Fellowship, because Merry and Pippin and Sam are too young and naive, and Frodo, with his heavy drinking and the sin of kinslaying under his belt, alienates them and leaves them behind. After Frodo leaves for Rivendell, orcs come to Hobbitton and burn it to the ground, slaughtering most and taking a few as slaves to sell to Isengard. Frodo rendezvous with Aragorn in the tavern, and that night are attacked by the Ring Wraiths. Aragorn escapes with the ring, but Frodo is captured, taken to Moria, where he spends four novels being tortured. Aragorn, deciding that now's the time to reveal himself as the King of Gondor Reborn, rallies men to fight Sauron's forces. Denethor agrees to help, promising his lovely daughter as a bride in exchange, but Aragorn falls in love with Faramir instead, breaking his oath. Aragorn tries to make amends by having Gandalf - a drunk charlatan - marry Boromir, but at the wedding ceremony is betrayed and murdered by Denethor, Gandalf is taken hostage, and the Ring is taken by Denethor. Meanwhile, Arwen is sold into slavery by Elrond, who hopes to recapture the lost power of elvenkind using the armies of Isengard. Arwen, however, falls in love with her bride Saruman, and the two have an off-beat cross-cultural romance, the highlight of which is when Saruman murders Elrond by throwing him off his tower. Unfortunately, Saruman catches influenza shortly afterwards and dies. Arwen tries to lead the Uruk-Hai and slave soldiers herself, but most won't follow an elven slave girl. Among the few that do are the slaves Merry, Pippin, and Sam, who Arwen names her Bloodriders once she gets them some ponies to ride. She marches back north, gathering her forces; she razes Bree, conquers Lothlorien, and finally captures Rivendell where she decides to rule as its queen. She is accompanied by Boromir, who left Denethor after one too many whimsical executions in Gondor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Cygne Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 But Gandalf doesn't have Carice's fine ass. I think? But who knows what her real ass looks like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonisHenryTudor Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I find her dull in comparison. Not just to Gandalf, but as a character, she doesn't do much for me. In a way she kind of negatively affects the Stannis chapters and his story. I agree. I actually wish she would go away. I just don;t care for Mel, and it bothers me that she could have something to do with Jon's story from here on out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevvy Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Tbh; frodo wouldn't have made it off the weather top alive; the task falling to trusty Sam; but it's all irrelevant - Elrond would have slaughtered them all at Rivendell, consolidating his power and putting an end to this 'Isildurs heir' nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Walters Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 Tbh; frodo wouldn't have made it off the weather top alive; the task falling to trusty Sam; but it's all irrelevant - Elrond would have slaughtered them all at Rivendell, consolidating his power and putting an end to this 'Isildurs heir' nonsense. Elrond would be Walder Frey by killing the whole Fellowship plus all of the representatives of the races while they were having their council meeting about what to do with the ring. That would surely make people depressed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruin Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Sam-paste for Frodo. Prancing Pony is owned by Barliman Butterfinger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George48 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Well I'll just try write a funny "what if":Frodo Baggins starts on his journey with his three best friends:Sam, Merry and Pippin. They take the main road and have to face the fierce... road tolls. Once they arrive in Bree they meet a ranger called Aragorn and his small band, employed by Gandalf. After 3 chapters that describe the food served at the inn all of them order some "incredibly strong ale". After getting pissed drunk they all begin their journey towards Rivendell. On the road they are ambushed a small band of orcs led by a nazgul. Merry dies and Sam loses his right hand. In the end most of the company manages to escape and reach Rivendell. They find Gandalf and Elrond there arguing about who should take the Ring. Since they both have an army they agree to let Frodo keep it. Delegates from the Free People of Middle-Earth come to decide what to do with the ring... but all they do is argue:Boromir, son of Denethor, King of Gondor always calls Aragorn "Pretender"... usualy after being called "Usurper"...Boromir spending the rest of his time drinking half of the wine present at Rivendell and fucking almost everything that can be fucked.The Elves and Dwarves are engaging in a contest of "Who can be the bigest racist asshole"...Aragorn when not arguing with Boromir argues with Elrond who doesn't want him to marry his daughter since they are 38-th degree cousins and it would be considered incest.The hobbits are wondering what is happening.Suddenly Gandalf brings disturbing news: Saruman the White has betrayed them.... and then we have to wait some 3 years for the next part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Hodor Hodor of Hodor Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 The Eagles would be used to solve all proble-oh wait..... grrm doesn't need eagles, he just lets the characters die Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Not Appearing Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Sam and Frodo would have been even closer friends... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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