Kelli Fury Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Continue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I'll have you know my mom is a fantastic judge of character and a real cool lady :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Ini, I've never even looked at the income box when checking profiles. Most people leave it blank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Judging someone on their income seems a bit odd to me. Sure, you want people to be doing okay, but I'd rather be sure that someone was happy in their job, than simply earning loads of cash. But as a poor, unpaid graduate, I suppose that's easy for me to say :pThe MiL thing came to a head this morning. She confronted us, because she felt we'd been avoiding her, and wondered what she'd done. I said I felt the exact same way. It was kind of hashed out, with me holding back, my boyfriend explaining how she'd been behaving, and her blaming it on her "feeling fragile" because she's coming off her anxiety medication. So I guess passing it off as a misunderstanding is probably the best way to go. She was much better after that. :dunno: Hopefully she'll be more aware in the future, so this doesn't happen again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 So...Mr Ivy League - cute and can carry a convo, but I may have to dump him because I'm superficial??? I don't think not wanting to pay for EVERYTHING is a bad thing at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 On the other hand, Mr Ivy League is clearly on a downhill slide in his career, and clearly had to give everything to his ex...nine years ago. I confess that I feel uncomfortable with his current standard of living, and I do pay for our dates, which bothers me, since it's been 100%. I wouldn't call being concerned about this superficial at all. I don't know his situation, but to me if money is tight enough that you can't afford to go 50-50 on dates you probably shouldn't be worrying about dating until you get yourself sorted out financially. Keeping the bills paid and food on the table is a much more pressing concern in my book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I wouldn't call being concerned about this superficial at all. I don't know his situation, but to me if money is tight enough that you can't afford to go 50-50 on dates you probably shouldn't be worrying about dating until you get yourself sorted out financially. Keeping the bills paid and food on the table is a much more pressing concern in my book. x 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Good luck Chats. I'm sure it's not a good feeling to have to break it off with someone for financial reasons, but for what it's worth I don't think it makes you superficial or a bad person in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I think that's shortsighted and a bit shitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 Vinny leaves on Thursday, should be home this weekend after all!! That's soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Kay, happy weekend. I am so pleased he be...actin' right? Sounds like it. I had a giant cluster with an ex today. It was really unpleasant. It was a huge reminder of why I left. It was a a sickening experience I hope it will never be repeated. I ran to Gary's house. Gary's out of town. I'm a little worried about Gary. Radio silence for over a week. He's working out of town, six days of radio silence is a really long time. Probably nothing, but my beloved daters who have leftover phalanges to cross, please cross them for this decent and lucky man's safety. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gillio Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Fingers crossed, Lily, but I'm sure he'll be OK :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I don't think it's inherently wrong to include income as one of the factors when deciding on whether you want to date someone long term. If you're looking for someone to pay for you then yes, of course that's shitty. If, on the other hand, you've spent years working on your career and building up your own income so that you could afford a certain standard of living (overseas holidays, nice house etc.) then I don't think it's completely unreasonable to want a partner who can contribute equally to maintaining that lifestyle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Er Rn Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Chataya - I don't think you have anything to feel bad about. I agree with Arkhangel's post above.Lily - fingers crossed for you and Gary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 I think the lifestyle Chats is looking to lead is pretty exclusionary in terms of people being able to afford going 50/50 where they might be able to with less expensive activities, would that be right Chats?If so and that's important to you, then it's just a matter of accepting you will be excluding otherwise nice and potentially compatible people due to not having an equally high powered career. Although another way of looking at it is that only those with high power careers are compatible.Edit to fix phone typo: activities, not attitudes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Hmm. I find myself being comfortably upfront about the current income, but never publicly. I can pay for the whole date every now and then, but usually, it's best if we each go our own way. Unfortunately, I've had the luck of running into women who want to be 100% wined and dine. That's fine and all, but that's not for me.Some women just like the fact that I'm making moves to eventually be more than comfortable. Eventually, I'll reach the median income for a residential electrician in Trenton, which is 80k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Found myself looking back at previous relationships and came to the realisation that I have never actually had a proper "first date". The thought of one terrifies me :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 That's what Brook told me before our first date and look how well that went ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 :P I'm tired of proper first dates. I'm not interested in a woman I can't take to the Tow Path for a good run and a picnic. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 That's what Brook told me before our first date and look how well that went ;) Hah! Still terrifying :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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