naz Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 As an experiment, I wonder if ex-couples tried to see how they would match up on this sort of thing. Or say, people who fall into the BFF category but definitely would not date. Or people who know for sure that they'd be incompatible otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Naz, my bff and I were on OKC for a bit together. We were a 72% match. We had "problems" that boiled down to her being a straight female. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Bookstore Girl from a couple of months ago is back from visiting in family Bogota. That ought to spice up weekends considerably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slurms McKenzie Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I realize the thread has moved past this, but I haven't been around much and missed it when it was being discussed. I think it's fine to have standards about income or type of employment or ambition levels or whatever, but saying that someone shouldn't date because they're struggling or actually poor is offensive and classist, as long as whoever they're dating is aware of their poverty I see absolutely no issue. Yeah, this. People are entitled to pursue a love life regardless of their income. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Lucious Left-Foot Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I realize the thread has moved past this, but I haven't been around much and missed it when it was being discussed. I think it's fine to have standards about income or type of employment or ambition levels or whatever, but saying that someone shouldn't date because they're struggling or actually poor is offensive and classist, as long as whoever they're dating is aware of their poverty I see absolutely no issue. And about mattresses on the floor, better a mattress on the floor than a used bed frame that comes with bed bugs. This. That's why I use Tinder TBH. As shallow as it is, it doesn't show that I'm a stuggling student that lives in 9 square meters with only a matress, a kitchen and a Wi-Fi connection. Once they realize it, that's too late for them hahaha. But a bit more seriously on the issue, I find horrifying that some dating sites' premise is wealth, or success (which in some countries, sadly most, is directly associated with success), with slogans such as "be ambitious" or "for the single persons who demand quality". WTF to that even mean ? A quality person cannot be poor ? Or more so, a poor person cannot be an ambitious choice for somebody ? It kinda makes me sick to the stomach TBH. Because it implies that rich should be with rich, and poor should be with poor, which is classist, and borderline medieval. Plus, in a country where it is hard for non-white, non-catholic and non males to be "successful", it discriminates de facto on a much larger scale than wealth. ETA : I've been a little quick about "non-catholic", I meant people who don't have a judeo-christian background, which in my country, basically mean Muslim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungtotte Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 It's a lifestyle issue rather than a wealth issue. If you like taking 1-2 expensive vacations abroad every year, frequent fine dining, cocktail parties, etc. etc. it sort of requires you to have a certain level of wealth. And it's not fun being the only one in a relationship with that kind of wealth and having to treat your partner to all those things. Poor people aren't disqualified from dating in general, but they are disqualified from dating people like Chats who 1) don't want to go to Wendy's for her dates and 2) don't want to foot the bill for everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angalin Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 As an experiment, I wonder if ex-couples tried to see how they would match up on this sort of thing. Or say, people who fall into the BFF category but definitely would not date. Or people who know for sure that they'd be incompatible otherwise. In my brief and depressing stint on OKC (you would not believe the number of people within 100 miles of here who think the earth is bigger than the sun), my ex turned out to be 52% enemy. Not even his knowing the proper proportions of bodies in the solar system was enough to redeem him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I love the fact that you had an "Arch Nemesis" in school :lol: school was serious business :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 In my brief and depressing stint on OKC (you would not believe the number of people within 100 miles of here who think the earth is bigger than the sun), my ex turned out to be 52% enemy. Not even his knowing the proper proportions of bodies in the solar system was enough to redeem him. THat makes me sad lol school was serious business :) Totally. I never had a nemesis though :( I just accidentally said I like guns and disapprove of gay marriage in the questions. My bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 It's a lifestyle issue rather than a wealth issue. If you like taking 1-2 expensive vacations abroad every year, frequent fine dining, cocktail parties, etc. etc. it sort of requires you to have a certain level of wealth. And it's not fun being the only one in a relationship with that kind of wealth and having to treat your partner to all those things. Poor people aren't disqualified from dating in general, but they are disqualified from dating people like Chats who 1) don't want to go to Wendy's for her dates and 2) don't want to foot the bill for everything. It's both a lifestyle and wealth issue and it is a form of classism, in the end not much different from someone who wants to date only their same race or religion. But that's not what I found disturbing. This type of attitude is what I found disturbing, this is what I'm calling people out on: but to me if money is tight enough that you can't afford to go 50-50 on dates you probably shouldn't be worrying about dating until you get yourself sorted out financially. Keeping the bills paid and food on the table is a much more pressing concern in my book. So poor people are never allowed relationships? when we went out to drinks, he only had one, and then water. He never dresses nicer than a t-shirt and jeans. He is 45, and has a mattress, not a bed Agreed, there's also something about an adult person who chooses to go home to squalor or to a mattress on the floor that screams, "I do not respect myself enough to live well." or perhaps the mattress on the floor just screams poverty and not wanting to risk bedbugs with a used frame or buy one from ikea that will break the first time it's moved, especially when those things may cost a significant portion of monthly income. And there are so many reasons (including but not limited to poverty that someone might have only one drink or wear t-shirts and jeans all the time). The poverty shaming and classism in these posts is pretty gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slurms McKenzie Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I share these sentiments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stannisaurus2 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 or perhaps the mattress on the floor just screams poverty and not wanting to risk bedbugs with a used frame or buy one from ikea that will break the first time it's moved, especially when those things may cost a significant portion of monthly income. And there are so many reasons (including but not limited to poverty that someone might have only one drink or wear t-shirts and jeans all the time). I generally agree with this and I find the bold especially funny considering that among my first conversations in this forum I was scolded for drinking more than one drink (i.e. two beers) when going out (because driving) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I generally agree with this and I find the bold especially funny considering that among my first conversations in this forum I was scolded for drinking more than one drink (i.e. two beers) when going out (because driving) That is totally not comparible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stannisaurus2 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 That is totally not comparible. My point was that someone would see me drinking one beer and, following the logic of some people, might conclude other stuff. I was bringing an example of "why someone might drink only one drink" I wasn't comparing anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 What summah said. Then again, dating across our own background is challenging, for both parties, whether it's racial or class based. It takes work from both parties to overcome the issues to make a relationship work. It's understandable that plenty of people don't want to deal with the hassle. In any relationship, shared life experience and the feeling of your partner really understand you on a fundamental level are critical, imo. When people from very different backgrounds come together, achieving that level of groking each other is a lot more difficult, I think. I'm not saying either people should or shouldn't date in certain ways - each couple can decide for their own on what's best. But some relationships are easier to maintain than others, and each variant offers different types of rewards. Some may enjoy the constant challenge posed by a partner who's very different, while others may value the sense of being in-synch with your loved one more. To each their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I'm more concerned with the other person's attitude, rather than their income. If they're in a low-paid job because of the shitty unemployment rates, or they're simply doing what they enjoy, or they're in a "crap" job while they get through uni etc., then fine. I can't judge someone like that, we've all been there (I'm still there). But if they have zero ambition and refuse to work for no good reason, then I'm not particularly interested in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you? The questions on this site are genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthanluke Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I'm more concerned with the other person's attitude, rather than their income. If they're in a low-paid job because of the shitty unemployment rates, or they're simply doing what they enjoy, or they're in a "crap" job while they get through uni etc., then fine. I can't judge someone like that, we've all been there (I'm still there). But if they have zero ambition and refuse to work for no good reason, then I'm not particularly interested in that. Yeah. I don't make a lot of money right now but as you say it is not through choice. The job market where I live is just terrible at this moment in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you? The questions on this site are genius.Another actual okc question: "do you like to get high and fuck for hours?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Flashheart Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Another actual okc question: "do you like to get high and fuck for hours?"Do you not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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