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Proof Positive that Stannis is not Stannis


FaceGardener

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"Davos remembered too well the living shadow that had squirmed from out her womb that night beneath Storm's End, its black hands pressing at her thighs. I must go carefully here, or some shadow may come seeking me as well. "Even an onion smuggler knows two onions from three. You are short a king, my lady."



Stannis gave a snort of laughter. "He has you there lady. Two is not three.""


--A Storm of Swords, Davos 5



Stannis LAUGHED. And as we well know, Stannis never laughs. Thus we can safely assume that he is being warged by Jaqen H'Gar, who is using him to bring about the dragon apocalypse in league with the Warlocks of Qarth and the ghost of Rhaegar Targaryen.


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Jaqen can warg into things now? And he's Syrio? And the guy who killed Balon? And he's also Stannis? And he's the dusky woman who is also Euron, who's Daario, who's Gerion, who's Benjen, who's Tywin, who's Rhaegar? Wow...

Yeah, but, like it all makes sense, maaan. :smoking:

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I'm pretty sure there ate only three people in all of Planetos:

Daario/Euron/Syrio/Stannis/Jaequen/Mel/Dog

Ned Stark (who is clearly not dead)

Hotpie

The rest are Hotpie hallucinations...he ate WAY too much chili con carne last night.

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I'm pretty sure there ate only three people in all of Planetos:

Daario/Euron/Syrio/Stannis/Jaequen/Mel/Dog

Ned Stark (who is clearly not dead)

Hotpie

The rest are Hotpie hallucinations...he ate WAY too much chili con carne last night.

You forgot one thing. Hotpie is secretly Tywin Lannister whom is secretly a Targ that is secretly GRRM whom is secretly Obama.

Hotpiecare has a much better ring to it, anyway.

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The Iron Throne is way, waaaay in debt?

Thanks, Hot Pie!

I think this might be the best response to any criticism of anything ever.

"Gods dammit Edmure, I didn't want you to hold the ford!"

"Thanks, HOT PIE"

"Recent reports that the Hand of the King was murdered while on the privy by his emotionally and vertically challenged son"

"Thanks, HOT PIE"

"Our reports indicate that the self-styled Mother of Dragons has gone bald and fled the city after an incident involving the re-opening of Meereen's fighting pits"

"Thaaaaaaanks, HOOOOOOT PIIIIIIIIE"

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