TTTNE 439 Anyone for Pizza?

[Nymeria10k]

Neither can I :( and I was looking forward to it, would have been my first time. But we might be right between two places at the time, because moving and stuff... we called of christmas for this year. :mellow:

Mine too... my parents are strict on me giving out my address to anyone let alone the internet.. :( so my SS would not be able to send me a gift

I wonder if I can still send someone a gift though, I really want to make someone happy :(

I'm having a discussion with a friend to see if I can sort something out

ETA: GOOD NEWS!! But there is a condition..

And the sun has just made an appearance! HELLO SUNSHINE!!!!

--

A downside of this thread would be if LITA wasn't here as often :(

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

I don't really care for pizza.

[OneEyedRaven]

Good morning everyone! Happy Tuesday! Also I love pizza

[RhaenysBee]

I don't really care for pizza.

:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

[Nymeria10k]

Lany- that statement in a pizza spam thread is a bold statement :bowdown:

Pizza is amazing, it is known.

Think I'll treat myself in the happiness of being able to participate in SS because of my wonderful friend. I will have to get him a nice gift this year.. :D

Luckily I know what sort of stuff he likes. It's difficult to buy gifts for guys lol :P

I love the idea of SS because it allows me to be generous and buy gifts, which I LOVE DOING. I LOVE MAKING PEOPLE SMILE. :D

[Buckwheat]

Buck,

yeah that's the eternal devil's circle of finding a job as a student or fresh graduate. Don't you have student job networks where you can sign up and they will offer you some horrible job where you can work for peanuts but at least put it into your resume and make things seem like you have some hardcore work experience?

Well I am searching on student sites. I do not know.

Somethings do never change :/ Is there any opportunity to get a tutorship at the Uni? Some students do that around here, they teach smaller groups of students at the uni, like extra lessons or something. Sorry, forgot you're at your first semester now, so this is not really an option.

Lol wut? I am not any stupid first semester, I am starting my fifth year on this faculty. I am 22. ;) - Damn, I am OLD!

But no, there is no such thing as teaching smaller groups of students at the uni. Being "tutor" means something else here, and I did it for two years. But it is quite inofficial and I am quite sure it would look quite ridiculous on a CV.

I had the same problem, getting rejected left and right but mostly I just got lucky. Idk if this will apply to you but normally what I recommend for student job hunters is to find a job in a supermarket, or a bar/cafe/restaurant, and to avoid retail shops like the plague - they have HIGH standards... or more likely they want to take in people that aren't students, those who didn't go uni and went straight into work etc. But they generally do have high standards, they didn't even look at my application lol (I got rejected like an hour after sending it *rolls eyes*)

But places like supermarkets are more open to it

Also we get a lot of temporary christmas jobs here and they are much easier to apply for, you could try finding some in your area if you want, if you have the experience then you'll be able to get a more permanent job afterwards. My bro applied for one, he has an interview/registration thingy (idk if he has the job for sure)

Or you could volunteer part-time, depending on the organisation there isn't a selection criteria (not where I volunteer anyway, they take anyone) it's still experience and looks great on your cv and may help you get a job :)

I know what I have to say here will look very snobbish, and it is. The fact is that I do not need and do not want to work in a supermarket or as a waitress or in a shop or anything like that. And these typically student jobs have nothing to do with my field, so they do not count as an experience. And I am not that desperate for money - I live with my parents and being somewhat of a top student, I have the scholarship. We do not have faculty fees (yet, Old Gods are merciful). So I can afford not to work anything while I am studying. If I choose to, I want it to be something relevant to my field, something that counts, something that I will learn something from and something I am happy to do. Yes, this was me being snobbish.

Also, most of the colleagues I ask how they came upon a position, they did so because they know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody ... you know. Applications and whatnot do not count as much as being an acquiantance of the employer. :P

Whoever mentioned volunteering, there is really none in my field. I mean, I can, out of goodwill, correct/edit or translate parts of my colleagues' seminars and homeworks and whatnot, but that is again quite unofficial and cannot be put on a CV.

/Just me whining. Do not mind.

[honeyed chicken]

Congratulations KJR on your second win!! :commie:

I don't use dresses, but on rare occasions when I do, I use vinaigrettes

Also I love olives! And pickles

DON'T VIEW IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE STOMACH

when I've finished the pickles, I'll drink the pickle juice with ice

This is pretty common. Supposed to be full of electrolytes. Mrs.C tells me I should drink pickle juice, but its not my taste.

Anchovy paste is in a great deal of surprising things! Caesar salad dressing included. It's one of those ingredients that's really stinky and you'd never in a million years think it could possibly make anything taste better, but it really really does. Fish sauce is another one of those ingredients... holy crap does it smell atrocious.

And yes, please take my olives, by all means. I feel guilty wasting food, but it's just one of those things I refuse to eat.

Absolutely! Mrs.C will grill me at the dinner table, "Do you taste that?" Me: "Taste what?" "A secret ingredient." "??" "Anchovy paste!" It does add and deepen the flavor of dressings and such.

Morning spamigos. Congrats KJR!

*reads through last thread*

So um... that was quick. :spank:

You're not kidding it was.

A little hard to tell what was going on, I just hope Tater is OK today.

Thank you, Nym Sure you can call me Eira, most people do.

at the elevator ride! I do that by reflex sometimes too, I don't swear often, and people think it's really funny since everyone think I look so innocent and sweet, and out comes the most horrendous curses. I try to use 'frak' instead Very useful word!

My mother, who is like a cute little doll, once blurted out 'what the fuck' (in English, yes, we have ruined her) and we almost fell off our chairs laughing it was so absurd.

That book seems a good find! Sounds interesting.

Are you traveling somewhere?

What was it that made you swear?

During my year of living in Norway, I had a co-worker who had been an exchange student in the USA and she said we Americans swear way more than Norwegians - she didn't like it.

I always say, you can tell Norwegians aren't a swearing culture because the absolute worst swear you could say roughly translates, "shame on the devil". Maybe now more have borrowed bad habits from us via TV & movies, but it wasn't always so.

I will never find a job. /whines

You are very talented and a good worker, some employer will be very happy that he hired you

And the whip of propriety. :P

.

Nym, another one for Team Hobbitses! I'm about 5'3'' or 161,5 cm for those with the metric inclination (the only reasonable system imho ).

Thank you Bucky I have no idea if I get a storyline or if I'm just extra We'll have to ask Zar!

You will find a job, but you are not searching yet are you?

That's Mrs.C's height. :)

The metric system is so much smarter than the English. My dad used to say that for engineering 1/1000 of an inch was a better measurement than anything in metric, but that's the closest thing to a logical defense of the English.

I love the fact that 1 litre of water = 1 kilogram = 1000 cubic cm. In other words, 1 cubic cm of water is 1 gram. The amount of energy needed to raise the temp of 1 gram of water by 1 degree Celsius = 1 calorie, iirc. Elegant and simple.

Hey eira Feel the same right now. Too much going on, can't keep up.

Nym, I think you did the right thing talking to your supervisor.

Pesky people. Yeah.

The last two days where quite difficult around here. My youngest daughter still lives with us (she's going to be 21 in December), and her Bf was going to take her out for dinner on Sunday. So he picked her up. They came back about an hour later. Hubby and me looked at each other: that's too early...

Went to the door, saw them talking in the car so I went into the kitchen to wait for her. She came in, covered in tears and rushed to her room without another word. Oh, crap .... so I gave her a few moments and followed her. She simply said: "he broke up with me." I asked: "why?" Answer: "he said he'd lost his feelings for me." Hold on ... I thought I missunderstood, so I asked: "You mean, he said his feelings for you have changed?" And she answered: "No, I thought the same, but he just said no change. He completely lost his feelings for me ."

First thing that shot through my mind was "Oh, so he's already got another. What a jerkhead" which of course I didn't tell her because it would be useless to share that thought with her. So I just stood there, let her weep at my shoulder and shortly after that, started to stuff her with ice cream. They have been a couple for round about 10 weeks, my girl was still in the butterflies-in-the-belly-phase, but he lost his feelings.

And that got me thinking. How is this even possible? I do have a lot of troubles when it comes to social interactions. But when in seven hells did feelings turn into a thing like a wallet? "Missing: feelings! got lost sometime between Friday evening and Sunday, please return to owner!" Change of feelings, I do understand. It happens, happened to me before and will happen in the future. Worst case: from "I totally love you" to "you're the most annoying shit in the world". Even if you once cared about a person and this feeling fades, it's still a feeling. A total loss of feelings for another person IMO means, you don't care if the person drops dead right beside you, just step over the body and move on.

And it took him quite a while to say so. She told me later, he was acting a bit odd when she stepped into the car. She asked him if something was wrong, he said no. After a while just listening to the radio she asked if she's done something wrong - he turned up the volume. So she asked him to pull over, because of, you know, need to talk. And it took him some time to express his no longer existing feelings, for fuck's sake, I don't understand human beeings anymore. Did I ever? One day I will be an old woman that only talks to her cats, at least they will not fill my head with that kind of junk that anyone just read who was careless enough to hit the stupid spoiler button.

Hey Bucky.

Adara :grouphug: for you and your daughter.

It's great that you were right there to hug her and give her a shoulder to cry on. Lovely that you are that close.

When the Chickee was a teen she had a crush on a chinless, blond dancer boy who didn't know she existed. Chickee would come home after school and lie down on her bed and become dead to the world. As her dad it was heart breaking to see. But a few years after she told me she learned some things from that - about not giving her heart to guys who don't return the feelings.
More recently she had a bf that broke up with her after like 10 weeks or 12. I could hear it coming one night about a week before the break up when they were in our kitchen together. I could hear her laughing and trying to be positive and he was just quiet. After she said the breakup was about as painless as it could be. She knew it was coming, but he didn't let it drag out.

I mostly try not to get too involved in what is going on = to keep a little bit of emotional distance and detachment in case she wants my take on things. But it is tough. You want everything to be better for your darling than it was for you, and usually it can't be.

I also hear the story a little differently, because I once was that shit who "lost his feelings". Your daughter's bf did better than I did, I have to say - yeah, I was that bad.
I didn't even start feeling guilty about it right away. As the years go by I feel worse about it and wish I could go back and give my younger self a swift kick in the backside.

Adara, I am sorry about your girl. She is better off rid of him.

I am trying to find something alongside my studying. Kinda. I do not know. Just today I got a mail saying that my test translations are not good enough. And apparently I cannot teach either. :dunno:

And I want somebody to explain to me this circular logic: you need to have experience to have a job. You need a job to gain experience.

I mean, you have to start somewhere? What do they expect? Where am I supposed to have already worked in the field, if you idiots do not give me something to do because I have not done it yet before? Where can one start then?

Plus the fact that, well, some of us are still students. You cannot expect us to have worked much before, we are just learning to do something in our field!

/already more than I wanted to share, but whatever

This is the eternal problem.

How does one transition from being a student to being an experienced worker? In this country, you typically would serve a period as an unpaid intern and hope there's a job waiting for you at the company at some point. Doesn't always workout that way because company's like unpaid help. After a time they'll shuck off the unpaid interns in favor of younger unpaid interns. They really take unfair advantage of the young. I hope it does not happen that way where you live.

Your discipline is very academic, is it not? Is it something that can only apply in your home country, or is there a possibility of jobs elsewhere in Europe? Are you willing to travel to be employed? I only ask because I'm curious.

[Nymeria10k]

Well I am searching on student sites. I do not know.

Lol wut? I am not any stupid first semester, I am starting my fifth year on this faculty. I am 22. ;) - Damn, I am OLD!

But no, there is no such thing as teaching smaller groups of students at the uni. Being "tutor" means something else here, and I did it for two years. But it is quite inofficial and I am quite sure it would look quite ridiculous on a CV.

I know what I have to say here will look very snobbish, and it is. The fact is that I do not need and do not want to work in a supermarket or as a waitress or in a shop or anything like that. And these typically student jobs have nothing to do with my field, so they do not count as an experience. And I am not that desperate for money - I live with my parents and being somewhat of a top student, I have the scholarship. We do not have faculty fees (yet, Old Gods are merciful). So I can afford not to work anything while I am studying. If I choose to, I want it to be something relevant to my field, something that counts, something that I will learn something from and something I am happy to do. Yes, this was me being snobbish.

Also, most of the colleagues I ask how they came upon a position, they did so because they know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody ... you know. Applications and whatnot do not count as much as being an acquiantance of the employer. :P

Whoever mentioned volunteering, there is really none in my field. I mean, I can, out of goodwill, correct/edit or translate parts of my colleagues' seminars and homeworks and whatnot, but that is again quite unofficial and cannot be put on a CV.

/Just me whining. Do not mind.

Can I ask what your field is?

I guess this is just me but in my field, any experience counts for something, even if completely unrelated. I'm not desperate for money either, I do it for experience. And I volunteer also for experience and it looks great on a CV.

Tuition fees here are absolutely ludicrous... that's not the point though.

Maybe it's my field - but of course, as a lawyer, you're expected to have excellent communication skills. it's a given. Something I luckily have, but I needed something to back it up. This is why I got a job - so I can state that I am someone who is comfortable and at ease interacting with clients, I can organise myself, good timekeeping, punctual, so on. You need something to prove those basic qualities. Of course, law firms will want something specific, like legal experience, (which I also have - legal work experience is available here, some paid, some unpaid - so if there was like work experience in your area you could go for it)

They like to see variety, and that you're a well-rounded individual with strong experience, strong academic credentials, and basically someone who isn't just obsessed with studying/work but has interests out of that too (which I'm working on)

You're right in saying you need experience in your field, perhaps this applies just to lawyers, idk, but I think it's important to have experience outside your field too, employers like a well-rounded person. Unless you're doing something medicine related, I get the feeling 'outside experience' doesn't count for much there as it's a very specific profession...

It's not being snobbish at all. You have expectations, and goals, and a firm grasp of what you want to do. That to me, screams ambition. I like that :)

hey, you're not that old. Only two years older than me ;)

HC - re: unpaid interns, that really is nasty. Internships are more common in business fields and etc but usually it's for those serious about getting a job at the end of it, and I believe most people do get a job or something...

I'm still researching firms and stuff, who their clients are and who they work with, but eventually I want an internship at a law firm's client, it would look incredible on my cv. Good business knowledge and all

Unpaid internships in the UK are illegal unless it is part of a university course, school course, voluntary work (like charity work, or if it is work shadowing and the intern doesn't actually do any work. The intern has to be classed as a worker.

Come to think of it, I did an internship a few years back which was unpaid... I think it would probably qualify as work shadowing though. :dunno:

[honeyed chicken]

Nym,

over here, if it's "good for business" it is legal, no matter how slimy and unethical. Pisses me the heck off. I do think something is being done about it - a law being passed, but you do hear horror stories about young workers with a quarter of a $million of college loan debt to pay, slaving away in unpaid jobs for 4 and 5 years.

Btw, this was part of the motivation behind Occupy Wall Street a couple years back. Lots of talented young workers being taken advantage of.

[Gillio]

More soundtrack music for the movie! <--- First Aid Kit - My Silver lining. It probably fits most of us, but it can go well with my storyline :P Lyrics

So, I'm at work. Cancelled co-op meeting this evening, one of the others is really sick, and it was just as well to postpone it anyway. So that's one thing of my back at least.

I'm not very talkative atm, forgive me if I miss important stuff that's happening, don't have the energy. I'm feeling pretty blank right now. /whine

We all feel like that sometimes, just join in well you want to, thats what I do. :grouphug:

Adara, I am sorry about your girl. She is better off rid of him. :grouphug:

I am trying to find something alongside my studying. Kinda. I do not know. Just today I got a mail saying that my test translations are not good enough. And apparently I cannot teach either. :dunno:

And I want somebody to explain to me this circular logic: you need to have experience to have a job. You need a job to gain experience.

I mean, you have to start somewhere? What do they expect? Where am I supposed to have already worked in the field, if you idiots do not give me something to do because I have not done it yet before? Where can one start then?

Plus the fact that, well, some of us are still students. You cannot expect us to have worked much before, we are just learning to do something in our field!

/already more than I wanted to share, but whatever

This always happens. You need to translate the skills you have as a student to skills that are desirable in an employee.

example 1. getting assignments in on time = ability to plan, schedule and complete a task in a timely manner, ie time management skills.

(obligatory little Gillio story - when my younger son was about 8 we had a sand delivery business. Orders would start to come in from 6am. I would man the office from breakfast time till time to start my job, when my dad would come and do the office. Son would hop in and help while i got ready for work. He would answer the phone, take the order, read it back and call up the truck to add the order to the list. People were amazed at how young he was! He was really good at it.

After he left school he did a traineeship with an insurance company. He left at the end of the traineeship because the pay they offered was not what he was previously given to understand it would be. Their excuse was he had "no life skills"

We were talking about this later and I reminded him of what he'd done in the sand business and that in a big company it would be called a "scheduler" An hour later, he showed me his updated resumee - He'd added " I also have considerable experience as a scheduler in my parents sand delivery business." and then stuff about the skills involved, accuracy, customer satisfaction, communication skills, prioritizing tasks.

He takes after his dad for that stuff, I struggle with resume's, I'm really uncomfortable tlking myself up!

Adara, :grouphug: for your girl. There all all the things people say at times like this, but they are really not helpful, till she is ready to think that way herself, at least thats how I am in that sort of situation!

[Lady Olenna]

Morning!

Lost my multi quotes.

@Adara- that young man just seems a bit mean. And fickle. You're a wonderful mom for seeing her through this :)

@ Bucky - what HC said. We have internships and volunteering here. Neither are paid these days but if you put some time in here and there it would pump up the resume.

@ My King - :kiss: I'm sorry you aren't well :grouphug: here is my Targaryan throw blanky to keep you company!

@ Lany - what about a low carb pizza? Is there grain free alternative?

Yah, I've no idea what happened to the last thread. I was sorta holding my breath worrying it would get locked :worried: I'm not at all sure what was going on with Tates.

Have a lovely day spammers! May the force be with you.

[Buckwheat]

This is the eternal problem.

How does one transition from being a student to being an experienced worker? In this country, you typically would serve a period as an unpaid intern and hope there's a job waiting for you at the company at some point. Doesn't always workout that way because company's like unpaid help. After a time they'll shuck off the unpaid interns in favor of younger unpaid interns. They really take unfair advantage of the young. I hope it does not happen that way where you live.

Your discipline is very academic, is it not? Is it something that can only apply in your home country, or is there a possibility of jobs elsewhere in Europe? Are you willing to travel to be employed? I only ask because I'm curious.

Yes. Yes it is. And I am a very academicky person. Which means I am really good at writing seminars and stuff. (Actually I wish to have a paper published at some point.) But absurdly bad at anything practical. I can easily imagine a scenario where a less qualified person who is better at talking smoothly and bullshitting would get a position over me because I would not do good at an interview. (So I am glad there are test translations for translators, it is way more objective than a random interview based on how much the person on the opposite side of the table likes you! :P) Aaaaanyway, well, one can go into a more or less academic direction with my discipline: translating for agencies and such are more "practical", researching and teaching and writing articles more academic.

I could go outside the country too, depends where of course. Any German speaking place is an option, I know of many students of the department who lived there for a shorter or longer time. Translating for the EU is a good thing to do, apparently (not one I would be very happy to do, since I care shit about politics, but THAT would look good on a resume :P). With just a Slovene degree, obviously it would be harder, I mean, how many Slovene correctors do you need abroad? But the foreign language one is good.

Whether I would be willing to - sure I guess, just not too far. ;) I would know nothing about how to do that, it is hard enough here.

Unrelated: you must be a very good father, it shows through your posts about Chickee! :)

Can I ask what your field is?

<snip>

I study Slovene and German languages and literatures (double major or whatever you call it your place) at MA level. I really wish to be a translator one day. But sometimes, like today, it just looks being an adult is impossible.

And "outside experience" in this field these days apparently means you need to know everything about technics like cars or other vehicles, machines, whatnot, because these are the texts you are going to be translating. (There is a reason for it, I mean, this sells, this is what the economical situation demands, it is not like the translation agencies are choosing what they will be translating.) No editor will allow a newbie to start translating with literature! But well, we mostly chose to study languages because we do not want to deal with machines and stuff. :lol: So at least for me, there is a bit of a clash. But I will have to find somewhere to start with.

And believe me, ambitious is definitely not a word that applies to me. :P

He takes after his dad for that stuff, I struggle with resume's, I'm really uncomfortable tlking myself up!

That is a lovely story again! :wub:

I am like that too, I cannot praise myself, it makes me feel like I am bragging! I thought being humble was a virtue!

[honeyed chicken]

Yes. Yes it is. And I am a very academicky person. Which means I am really good at writing seminars and stuff. (Actually I wish to have a paper published at some point.) But absurdly bad at anything practical. I can easily imagine a scenario where a less qualified person who is better at talking smoothly and bullshitting would get a position over me because I would not do good at an interview. (So I am glad there are test translations for translators, it is way more objective than a random interview based on how much the person on the opposite side of the table likes you! :P) Aaaaanyway, well, one can go into a more or less academic direction with my discipline: translating for agencies and such are more "practical", researching and teaching and writing articles more academic.

I could go outside the country too, depends where of course. Any German speaking place is an option, I know of many students of the department who lived there for a shorter or longer time. Translating for the EU is a good thing to do, apparently (not one I would be very happy to do, since I care shit about politics, but THAT would look good on a resume :P). With just a Slovene degree, obviously it would be harder, I mean, how many Slovene correctors do you need abroad? But the foreign language one is good.

Whether I would be willing to - sure I guess, just not too far. ;) I would know nothing about how to do that, it is hard enough here.

Unrelated: you must be a very good father, it shows through your posts about Chickee! :)

I study Slovene and German languages and literatures (double major or whatever you call it your place) at MA level. I really wish to be a translator one day. But sometimes, like today, it just looks being an adult is impossible.

And "outside experience" in this field these days apparently means you need to know everything about technics like cars or other vehicles, machines, whatnot, because these are the texts you are going to be translating. (There is a reason for it, I mean, this sells, this is what the economical situation demands, it is not like the translation agencies are choosing what they will be translating.) No editor will allow a newbie to start translating with literature! But well, we mostly chose to study languages because we do not want to deal with machines and stuff. :lol: So at least for me, there is a bit of a clash. But I will have to find somewhere to start with.

And believe me, ambitious is definitely not a word that applies to me. :P

That is a lovely story again! :wub:

I am like that too, I cannot praise myself, it makes me feel like I am bragging! I thought being humble was a virtue!

Buck,

if I may say, this is why I love the spamily so much. These conversations are ones I would not otherwise have, and though I feel bad for you being in doubt about your future, I feel optimistic for you and happy. Some of these talks get repeated to Mrs.C at the dinner table, believe it or not.

She is interested in academic stories. She is the book store manager at a tiny college near us - where she graduated herself several decades ago. She once told me about a Czech language student at her college who was so good that when it came time for him to apply to a postgraduate college, two prestigious universities started bidding for him - each offering more than the other in terms of housing, meals, teaching positions and salary - not too mention no tuition.

I have no idea how one gets into such a fortunate circumstance. but I would imagine it starts with impressing your faculty with what you can do.

Do you have a professor who thinks highly of you who is in turn well thought of in academic circles and perhaps even outside?

I often felt about college that it was as much about making connections as about learning.

My brother for example, had a engineering professor at a college here on the east coast who went out to California and started a business. When my brother got out of college, he landed a job with that man. And even after the professor went on to start and be involved in other companies, my brother was able to follow along as his career progressed and climbed pretty high partly as a result of that association forged in college.

[First of My Name]

Missed the race :tantrum:

Congrats KJR! :cheers: Great theme.

[Quoth]

I don't really care for pizza.

Lany is a godless heathen. Primitive and strange are her ways. It is known.

Hi all! :)

[honeyed chicken]

Hi Quoth. The thread is strangely quiet at this moment. been pretty noisy of late. :)

[Quoth]

Traditionally, there's a lull after a race. The calm before the spam storm, I guess. :dunno: :)

[honeyed chicken]

Traditionally, there's a lull after a race. The calm before the spam storm, I guess. :dunno: :)

Yeah,

that's generally true, but not last thread. It hit the ground running and never stopped - picked up speed, actually.

[Q the Cat]

Good morning Quoth, hc, Buck, Gillio, FOMN, LadyO and everyone else.

Is you new AV Gromit? My son loves that show! And Shaun the Sheep :D

Yes, it's Gromit in The Wrong Trousers. It illustrated precisely how I feel at work of late, laying down the tracks as the train is looming behind, a bone-crushing juggernaut.

Pizza stuff

Hi Nym and RB!

I'm not a pizza fan, but that beret looks remarkably like a pizza on that kid's head. :lol:

The last two days where quite difficult around here. My youngest daughter still lives with us (she's going to be 21 in December), and her Bf was going to take her out for dinner on Sunday. So he picked her up. They came back about an hour later. Hubby and me looked at each other: that's too early...

Went to the door, saw them talking in the car so I went into the kitchen to wait for her. She came in, covered in tears and rushed to her room without another word. Oh, crap .... so I gave her a few moments and followed her. She simply said: "he broke up with me." I asked: "why?" Answer: "he said he'd lost his feelings for me." Hold on ... I thought I missunderstood, so I asked: "You mean, he said his feelings for you have changed?" And she answered: "No, I thought the same, but he just said no change. He completely lost his feelings for me ."

First thing that shot through my mind was "Oh, so he's already got another. What a jerkhead" which of course I didn't tell her because it would be useless to share that thought with her. So I just stood there, let her weep at my shoulder and shortly after that, started to stuff her with ice cream. They have been a couple for round about 10 weeks, my girl was still in the butterflies-in-the-belly-phase, but he lost his feelings.

And that got me thinking. How is this even possible? I do have a lot of troubles when it comes to social interactions. But when in seven hells did feelings turn into a thing like a wallet? "Missing: feelings! got lost sometime between Friday evening and Sunday, please return to owner!" Change of feelings, I do understand. It happens, happened to me before and will happen in the future. Worst case: from "I totally love you" to "you're the most annoying shit in the world". Even if you once cared about a person and this feeling fades, it's still a feeling. A total loss of feelings for another person IMO means, you don't care if the person drops dead right beside you, just step over the body and move on.

And it took him quite a while to say so. She told me later, he was acting a bit odd when she stepped into the car. She asked him if something was wrong, he said no. After a while just listening to the radio she asked if she's done something wrong - he turned up the volume. So she asked him to pull over, because of, you know, need to talk. And it took him some time to express his no longer existing feelings, for fuck's sake, I don't understand human beeings anymore. Did I ever? One day I will be an old woman that only talks to her cats, at least they will not fill my head with that kind of junk that anyone just read who was careless enough to hit the stupid spoiler button.

What a good Mom you are, just being there for her like that. Sometimes there are no words, only a Mom's shoulder to cry on.

:grouphug: to you both!

Adara-

That is nasty.. I feel so sorry for your girl. Firstly she deserves much better - at least a guy who will be honest with her and tell her that his feelings have changed.. but lost them? Even I've never heard of anyone saying that. Mostly it's 'my feelings have changed' or 'I don't have feelings for you anymore' meaning they aren't the feelings a bf/gf have for one another but something different.

Quite honestly the guy sounds like a coward, he didn't even have the decency to give her the truth straight away and in my opinion any decent guy should have the grace to be straight up and honest about things like that. That suggests he's not very open or maybe he has a fear of commitment or w/e - this may sound harsh but your daughter is better off without him, if he has trouble communicating with her then that may have eventually caused more problems in their relationship. Communication is extremely important and from his side it wasn't really there.

I don't understand how people can just stop having feelings... I still care about people I don't talk to anymore, even though they probably don't even remember me. I even dream about these people sometimes meaning they're a presence on my mind... like, how are they? Are they okay?

I think I'll go the same way as you one day, Adara. Get about 80 cats and meow at them all day. At least they won't spout nonsense about it being okay to step all over a girl's heart like it's a piece of crap. Our hearts are the most precious things we have. It's never okay to hurt it.

Well said, Nym. :agree:

Guys, I' m home.

I'm sick. I retched up and my body hurts. It was peachy yesterday.

I'm on the sofa, trying to find a relaxing position.

At the same time, I'm angry. People watched me being miserable but nobody would help me.

:tantrum:

Thanks goodness I live near the bus stop.

Oh dear! Our king needs some ginger honey tea to settle his upset stomach. [_]P

And a cool cloth for the forehead.

*glares angrily at the uncaring bystanders who didn't stop to help*

I don't really care for pizza.

:agree:

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

My computer is full of suckage! It is crashing every few minutes :(

But I am trying to upload pics of the children's garb I ironed and want to sell this weekend (if not, I will put them up on my website) perfect kid's outfits...inexpensive and 100% washable :P

$10 for an outfit for a day at a Ren Faire

@ Lany - what about a low carb pizza? Is there grain free alternative?

.

I started disliking pizza long before the no grains thing...too greasy and too spicy for my delicate stomach :crying: and then I started having dairy issues, so I can only have very small amounts of cheese on them.

I will still eat a slice every now and again, I just prefer to have almost any thing else. (If I am going to suffer for spicy foods, I want to enjoy it!)

Lany is a godless heathen. Primitive and strange are her ways. It is known.

Hi all! :)

:kiss: I am not godless...

but admit to being a heathen :P