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Is Arya more like Ned or Catelyn or some other Stark Relative?


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I think its safe to say that her personality mirrors her mother's the most in terms of her intelligence, pragmatism, stubborness, fiery nature and outlook. Though she is more wild and unruly which is said to come from the wolf blood that Lyanna and Brandon had.



She is her own person but she most resembles a wilder Cat


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After reading Arya's POV chapters in all 5 books, I am not sure who Arya takes after.

I want to say Catelyn when she voices her opinions passionately. But then I am not so sure at other times.

I'd like to hear your take on this.

STOP it. before you start, Arya IS Ned & Catelyn's

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She's herself. She has similarities but with each of them it goes off somewhere.

Lyanna. Arya liked flowers. She wanted to use a sword. She had a lowborn friend and tried to stick up for him which made trouble with royals for her. Aerys and the Mystery Night. Arya and Joffrey. They seemed to both use the word stupid. And of course they look alike. The love affair with Rhaegar and crying over his song is unlikely.

Cat-Stubborn. Interested in vengeance but Cat does not murder until she goes mad. Arya is in right frame of mind yet murders. Cat wasn't a dark person while living while Arya is. There's the impulse and act on emotions although that is interesting since many think Arya is a psychopath now who would not be acting on strong emotions and would not be genuinely family oriented.

They're both not idealistic and more pragmatic.

A difference is Cat always did her duty. She was willing to marry Ned for her family. Arya was offered marriage. She won't do it even if it would help her family more.

Cat has no friends mentioned besides LF who probably hates her now. Arya was able to make friends with lots of people at WF and in Braavos. That would be more Brandon like I think.

Cat mentioned giving LF mudpies, playing kissing games with him, and pretending to be Jenny and putting flowers in her hair while LF is Duncan. Arya would do none of these things just like she wouldn't cry if Rhaegar sang a sad song.

Cat never used seduction.



She does not see sex as a tool to get something else. She has natural interest in it so I don't see her ever behaving like Mercy.

To be fair I think none of Arya's family members would behave as Mercy. That was supposed to be after the gap so after nature/nurture did its course. Both of these things frame who you are and I've mentioned that we meet her as a child. The subsequent years would matter more in framing who she is although I don't think she'll live to be an adult but say she will. What she's turned into represents more who she is rather than what she was like at 8 or 9.

Cat has an eye for politics like her father Hoster. Arya does not.

They both care about family. Except Cat is so family oriented that I can't see her entertaining the FM which prevents that. Not just your past family but they said women either kill or give life not both. Cat cared not just about the Tullys but for making a new family. This is a major difference. Arya is only concerned with death and taking life. Not giving it.

Some of the things she says are kind of similar like the heart line although I noticed that Arya's a hole where the heart used to be is actually the exact description of Rhaenyra's dead baby Visenya.

Uncat-Both are highly motivated by revenge and do killing. Differences are that Uncat gives trials. Arya has no interest in giving trials case in point Daeron and her anger over the BWB giving the Hound one. I've seen it argued that her kills are legal with Cat being the lady of Riverrun and Edmure being incapacitated. No such arguments can be made when she kills

Raff

.Uncat works in a large group. Arya is more serial killer like and prefers to work alone. Their killing styles are at odds too.

I think her killing habits are actually more like a Bolton hence the serial killer talk. Hunting them and killing them. Even moreso when Arya gets Nymeria's pack as Ramsay works with a pack of dogs. Obviously she's not terrible like him with the flaying and stuff but in terms of most of her murders not being on orders, they're not hangings or something that relies on trying to be legal, etc. it's more Bolton like. GRRM also said killing becomes almost a game for children like Arya and Lady Dustin used that phrase to describe Roose. It's all a game to him. She is also becoming more cold as the series goes on although I don't think she'll be as bad as Roose.

Brandon-More than a touch of wolf's blood. They both wanted to harm a crown prince and got in trouble for it. It seems that he had a problem and his solution immediately was violence. She does that. Like when Gendry figured her out her immediate reaction was to contemplate killing him rather than working it out. His mirth was as wild as his rages. Although after the Tickler we see that she keeps her anger internal now and is calculating. When she acts the person is unsuspecting. She may sit there with them like everything is fine and then later goes in for the kill-Daeron. I don't see that in Brandon's actions.

Now it's been said that since Arya isn't all like Cat the differences are where she is like Brandon. I don't necessarily agree. Brandon is promiscuous and Arya is so far showing no interest in sex. Cat was dutiful but for all his wildness Brandon was willing to do his duty as well. So just because she wouldn't do a strategic marriage like her mother that doesn't make her more like Brandon.

Essentially in relationships it's true that she's not like Lyanna but she does not mirror Brandon or Cat there either.

There's also language. Brandon said he wanted his sword sharp enough to shave the hair from a woman's cunt. We have Arya saying camel cunts and things like that.

Theon Stark- He's far more vengeful than her. Arya said she was hungry but not for food. Theon was hungry for the blood of his enemies. That would be a parallel.

There is a woman at WF in Bran's dream who emerges from the pool and asks for vengeance. She's pregnant though which is already a major difference.

Rodrik Stark-The Wandering Wolf who btw married Arya Flint. He went to Essos and joined up with a group of professional killers. That's Arya like and she does wander for most of her story. Although we can't compare respective personalities since we have too little info on him.

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As for the Tully relatives I didn't mention them but....



Lysa-I guess with the envy but there's mostly differences there. Lysa was pretty when young so she didn't have the extent of Arya's insecurities. Jamie didn't note one sister being significantly more attractive than the other nor did he think Lysa ugly or plain. That would happen later when Lysa loses her looks. She was also shy according to Jamie and sweet which Arya is not. She is capable of kinslaying which I don't see Arya as capable. She can leave her family out to dry. She cares for imo LF and SR and that's it. She chose a male over her family and I can't see Arya being obsessed/infatuated with someone like that.



Edmure-I don't see it. He's promiscuous and is very kind hearted. Arya isn't very empathetic anymore although she's not completely without empathy. He didn't seem to resist marriage itself but was worried about his wife's looks. Once he saw her he seemed fine about marriage.



Brynden-Now they both don't want to marry but I don't know if it's for the same reason. Perhaps Brynden was in love and couldn't marry that person so his reason could be romantic. Maybe he's gay and like Jon Con doesn't want to marry. Maybe he's a bachelor and likes being single and does have women we just don't know about. Some proposed once I think that maybe he had wanted to be a member of the KG.



Hoster-Very into politics and strategic marriages. He actually shows a major difference in terms of someone who is large scale vs. small scale. He puts whole villages to torch. She has no interest in an army or political power. She goes after specific people and has specific kills. He is horrible to Lysa and refuses to speak to Bryden. She doesn't have that type of relationship.



In the new book we didn't get much info but none of the older Tullys made me think of her. It was actually a Frey wife that did. ETA: Sabitha of House Vypren not an actual Frey herself but through marriage. Arya was almost a Frey through marriage too.


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After reading Arya's POV chapters in all 5 books, I am not sure who Arya takes after.

I want to say Catelyn when she voices her opinions passionately. But then I am not so sure at other times.

I'd like to hear your take on this.

Lyanna, most of all, though she could never really know the truth of it. Ned was quite convinced of it, and the KOTLT story and Bran's vision seems to confirm it.

Arya can be bold of tongue and dole out a verbal lashing like Catelyn, true. But she also has a hardened discipline and quietness when she's really hurt or angry, holding her secrets hard in her heart, and that is more like Eddard. Arya's a cunning girl, but judges in more direct (pardon the pun) black and white terms, like he did.

(Of course, there's a whole bunch of people on the forum who would say Sansa takes after Ned more, but I do not believe them. Young Cat was probably more like Sansa than the Cat we see in the story.)

Lyanna. Arya liked flowers. She wanted to use a sword. She had a lowborn friend and tried to stick up for him which made trouble with royals for her.

Cat-Stubborn.

A difference is Cat always did her duty.

Cat has no friends mentioned besides LF who probably hates her now. Arya was able to make friends with lots of people at WF and in Braavos. That would be more Brandon like I think.

Cat has an eye for politics like her father Hoster. Arya does not.

They both care about family. Except Cat is so family oriented that I can't see her entertaining the FM which prevents that. Not just your past family but they said women either kill or give life not both. Cat cared not just about the Tullys but for making a new family. This is a major difference. Arya is only concerned with death and taking life. Not giving it.

Some of the things she says are kind of similar like the heart line although I noticed that Arya's a hole where the heart used to be is actually the exact description of Rhaenyra's dead baby Visenya.

Uncat-Both are highly motivated by revenge and do killing. Differences are that Uncat gives trials. Arya has no interest in giving trials case in point Daeron and her anger over the BWB giving the Hound one. Uncat works in a large group. Arya is more serial killer like and prefers to work alone. Their killing styles are at odds too. I think her killing habits are actually more like a Bolton hence the serial killer talk. Hunting them and killing them.

Brandon-More than a touch of wolf's blood. They both wanted to harm a crown prince and got in trouble for it. It seems that he had a problem and his solution immediately was violence. She does that. ... I don't necessarily agree. Brandon is promiscuous and Arya is so far showing no interest in sex. Cat was dutiful but for all his wildness Brandon was willing to do his duty as well. So just because she wouldn't do a strategic marriage like her mother that doesn't make her more like Brandon.

Theon Stark- He's far more vengeful than her. Arya said she was hungry but not for food. Theon was hungry for the blood of his enemies. That would be a parallel.

Rodrik Stark-The Wandering Wolf who btw married Arya Flint. He went to Essos and joined up with a group of professional killers. That's Arya like and she does wander for most of her story.

Arya has the wolf blood in great amounts. Theon Stark - he too was hungry, but not for food. Rodrik Stark, fated to wander, yes. Not sure about Brandon, though she does seem bold as he was reputed to be.

Here's another one to consider: Cregan Stark - a prodigy with a blade, and Arya seems to advance her skills at a phenomenal rate. Not just in terms of blade skills, but any skills - if she is interested, she applies herself to her training with a terrifying intensity.

I would disagree on these fronts:

- Both Cat and Arya have done their duty, but they differ on what that duty is. Cat's views are more southron; Arya is more northern.

- Cat did have friends, I am sure, but it doesn't enter into the story (we hear little of her life at Riverrun). Cat seems on quite friendly terms with Maester Luwin, Rodrik Cassel, and others. Arya makes "friends" with all kinds of random folks, but these are more like enhanced acquaintances, not deeper friendships. She has nobody like a Jeyne Poole or Beth Cassel in her life, and taking the story environment at the start, and looking how she is afterwards, she seems quite a solitary / isolated person. Arya is less apt to judge people on social class, unlike her mother and sister.

- I think Arya does have an eye for politics, the harder-edged kind, but it's a hard thing to see. She's quite cynical and cunning for a little girl. But this is a hard thing to assess at that age too.

- Arya is not interested in boys, babies, etc. - well, not socially, but I suspect we may have an example of her Lyanna side: a tomboy as child but when she flowers and suddenly those passions come out with a vengeance.

- Trials: Lady Stoneheart does not give trials. She holds to no laws. She simply hangs men on the other side. We have yet to see her treat anyone with basic fairness, it does not seem to interest her. Thoros laments this. Pod and Hyle Hunt did nothing to harm her at any point. They still got the noose.

Arya has actually been more fair in her judgements - no court of law either, but she knew (rightly) that the Hound was guilty of Mycah's murder. Later, she does show him mercy despite stating she was not - he was already off her death list, the only man so removed. In leaving him to die (or not), she did leave his fate to the gods, when she had the means and opportunity to kill him. As for Dareon, she executed a deserter, who admitted his guilt plainly and without remorse - she heard his last words, looked in his eyes, and then took his life. Trial? No, but the purpose of any trial is to discover the factual truth of whather the law was broken - and his conscious decision to desert the Watch was not in doubt. No, Arya is not like Lady Stoneheart, she is more just.

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I would disagree on these fronts:

- Both Cat and Arya have done their duty, but they differ on what that duty is. Cat's views are more southron; Arya is more northern.

Both north and south have same notion of duty. One of the basic duties to the house is marriage and continue the line and acting like a noble. She will not do her basic duty to her house. Cat said she always did what her father expected of her. Ned meanwhile has trouble getting her to obey. Duty is doing something out of a sense of obligation not because you want to. Arya does things plainly on desire unless she's a captive.

- Cat did have friends, I am sure, but it doesn't enter into the story (we hear little of her life at Riverrun). Cat seems on quite friendly terms with Maester Luwin, Rodrik Cassel, and others. Arya makes "friends" with all kinds of random folks, but these are more like enhanced acquaintances, not deeper friendships. She has nobody like a Jeyne Poole or Beth Cassel in her life, and taking the story environment at the start, and looking how she is afterwards, she seems quite a solitary / isolated person. Arya is less apt to judge people on social class, unlike her mother and sister.

Their relationships are professional and cordial. She does not see them as her friends. She did not make friendly with all those people we see Arya mentioned to have been friends with.

I didn't say she had deep friendships but that she does make friends with people. We don't see anything of Cat that is comparable to Arya and all those she hangs around as Cat of the Canals. Arya has no close relationships aside from Jon but she is able to be have a large circle of people who like to hang out with her. Brandon is the one I could see doing what she did as Cat of the Canals.

- I think Arya does have an eye for politics, the harder-edged kind, but it's a hard thing to see. She's quite cynical and cunning for a little girl. But this is a hard thing to assess at that age too.

She has no interest in it. She didn't do as well in her political centered classes at WF Often fails to see political realities like when she was told about the "Bolton" marriage. She didn't understand what that implied or when she was told about Tyrion's marriage. She has a harder time identifying who is who. If she had an eye for politics she could see that there's value in gaining money and an army. Illyrio and Lynesse Hightower are able to help their cause more effectively than someone who kills people like the Tickler one at a time.

- Arya is not interested in boys, babies, etc. - well, not socially, but I suspect we may have an example of her Lyanna side: a tomboy as child but when she flowers and suddenly those passions come out with a vengeance.

Well, she may have already technically started puberty and yet her latest chapter

points to a cold clinical attitude towards it rather than passionate. Hating him wouldn't eliminate that possibility.

Since it was supposed to be after the gap we don't know. He could be telling us this is what she would be like anyways after the gap. She's not as seasoned as the gap would have her but the characterization may still be the same.

Cat at her age was already playing kissing games.

Spoiler
She on the other hand is only kissing so she can murder someone.
She is surrounded by males yet has shown no interest in any of them. 12 is actually not too young at all. SR is younger than her. Lysa was younger when she started to like LF. Lyanna could have been 13 at Harrenhal. We don't know how close Arya is to 13 but anyways Lyanna wasn't significantly older.

Also, being a tomboy doesn't mean has no interest in boys or sex. They can like it just as much as girly girls. Elia Sand is a tomboy. She likes boys. Asha was into kissing and boys before puberty. Lyanna was a tomboy yet had a love story. etc.

Of course a tomboy might not but it's not because they are tomboy. You could have a girly girl who would rather devote her life to the Faith just as well.

It makes sense though given the child soldier inspiration. They're messed up. And she has seen rape repeatedly and was exposed to sex early in brothels so it's not surprising that she would show abnormal behavior and not be like her family members in this regard. I don't think violence is the only thing she became desensitized towards which would happen to a child soldier IRL. Her first sexual experience being paired with murder fits given what she's been through.

She may start getting an interest in males or females or both but it's also possible as been proposed that she equates sex with violence. Abnormal behavior that is unlike her family members. This deviant behavior is something that is associated with Boltons not Starks or Tullys. Of course she won't be resorting to any rape though. But she's been subjected to seeing sexual violence and she imitated a prostitute that pairs the two.

- Trials: Lady Stoneheart does not give trials. She holds to no laws. She simply hangs men on the other side. We have yet to see her treat anyone with basic fairness, it does not seem to interest her. Thoros laments this. Pod and Hyle Hunt did nothing to harm her at any point. They still got the noose.

Arya has actually been more fair in her judgements - no court of law either, but she knew (rightly) that the Hound was guilty of Mycah's murder. Later, she does show him mercy despite stating she was not - he was already off her death list, the only man so removed. In leaving him to die (or not), she did leave his fate to the gods, when she had the means and opportunity to kill him. As for Dareon, she executed a deserter, who admitted his guilt plainly and without remorse - she heard his last words, looked in his eyes, and then took his life. Trial? No, but the purpose of any trial is to discover the factual truth of whather the law was broken - and his conscious decision to desert the Watch was not in doubt. No, Arya is not like Lady Stoneheart, she is more just.

She does. She lets those she has in her custody tell their side of their story and there are witnesses. It's not an official trial with approval of the crown but it still is a semblance of a trial. She doesn't just up and shank them in an alley like Arya did Dareon. She didn't even speak to Dareon before she killed him. What they did is not much different than what the BWB used to do. They listed Merret Frey's crimes and he answered for it.

We don't know that Pod and Hyle are dead. I actually think Pod at the very least was spared. But they look guilty and Pod is a Lannister loyalist. He helped them during Blackwater. Brienne posses the Stark's stolen sword. That doesn't look good. Arya on the other hand was entirely willing to kill the insurance man's guards for no reason and had to be stopped and she didn't ask for proof of the insurance man's crimes and was ready to kill him for having a villain's beard after looking for reasons to kill him. She is a child though so of course she can find child like reasons to kill someone. This points back to the killing being a game and children being more dangerous than adults interview. It's easier for them to not evaluate the seriousness of their actions and for it to become easy for them.

She didn't show the Hound mercy. She said he didn't deserve mercy and what she thought she was condemning him to was a slow death. Remember she has no way of knowing that he would live and in AFFC she says he's dead. He wasn't off her death list when she left him. She put him back on the same page she realized that she left him off so before their final scene together. I don't see her as more fair. She's going to kill Dunsen for simply taking Gendry's helm. That's not fair especially when she steals herself. And fair would be to get Dareon's side of the story. We see Jon who did not kill a deserter and Mance was less sympathetic than Dareon who might not have had a valid reason to be sent to the Wall in the first place. Mercy in Dareon's case would have been to spare him not kill him.

Actually not having mercy is another similarity. She is called Mother Merciless although I think she showed Pod and Brienne mercy.

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Also, being a tomboy doesn't mean has no interest in boys or sex. They can like it just as much as girly girls.

Arya on the other hand was entirely willing to kill the insurance man's guards for no reason and had to be stopped and she didn't ask for proof of the insurance man's crimes and was ready to kill him for having a villain's beard after looking for reasons to kill him. She is a child though so of course she can find child like reasons to kill someone.

She didn't show the Hound mercy. She said he didn't deserve mercy and what she thought she was condemning him to was a slow death. Remember she has no way of knowing that he would live and in AFFC she says he's dead. He wasn't off her death list when she left him.

- You misunderatand. Arya is a tomboy, but she has shown some interest already, but at a pre-pubescent level. The interaction of Arya and Gendry show there's something there. She's too young to think of it in Cat or Sansa-like terms, but like Lyanna, she's headstrong and it's the role of girly-girl / arranged-marriage-prospect that does not interest her. As well, her experiences of being a refugee dragged this way and that through the killing fields of the Riverlands is not conducive to developing typical teenage girl relationship ideas; it only reinforces lack of trust, and an absence of normal relationships (platonic or romantic).

- Arya had to be convinced there was something bad about the him before she killed the insurance man. She was speculating on reasons (often childish) why the man was a bad man, only to have the Kindly Man cast doubt on each one. In fact, the Kindly Man was at pains to point out to her there was no reason for her to kill the man other than the fact someone else wanted him dead and the FM had pledged to carry it out. In fact, that was the purpose of the test: to see if she could separate the act of killing from her own motivations and judgements.

- Actually he was already off it. She realizes it, then reluctantly said his name, but without real intent behind it. It telegraphed her decision not to end his life, despite her words of anger. (After all, if she actually wanted him to die, why was she helping bind and clean his wounds?)

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- You misunderatand. Arya is a tomboy, but she has shown some interest already, but at a pre-pubescent level. The interaction of Arya and Gendry show there's something there. She's too young to think of it in Cat or Sansa-like terms, but like Lyanna, she's headstrong and it's the role of girly-girl / arranged-marriage-prospect that does not interest her. As well, her experiences of being a refugee dragged this way and that through the killing fields of the Riverlands is not conducive to developing typical teenage girl relationship ideas; it only reinforces lack of trust, and an absence of normal relationships (platonic or romantic).

She isn't too young. Cat was her age when she was kissing LF and Lysa was even younger than Arya in AGoT. SR is younger than her and likes kissing.

Asha said she was curious about kissing and kissed a boy before puberty. She went farther with Trisifer once she flowered but the interest was there before.

She may have liked Gendry but I don't see Gendry as definitive proof when he's the only example that can be provided and he is not her first sexual experience.

Raff is.

Her crush on him wasn't Lyanna like either. It wasn't romantic and she did not want to marry him or have his children. Brandon doesn't seem the type to crush. He's a player. She doesn't even have interest in more than one person and that was several books ago.

Cat showed normal behavior. Maybe she's not romantic but once she married she had a normal healthy interest in it and before that she had normal development of experimentation. Brandon was normal just promiscuous. Their first experience is not only doing it when murdering someone. That is something I would expect Roose or Ramsay to do not her mother, aunt, or uncle.

ETA: And as for crushes. Sansa's first crush was Waymar that we know of not Joffrey so she would have been younger then. Yet she had a natural progression of liking other people afterwards. Not just one and then not paying any attention to males since in that way except if she wants to kill them.

We have no examples of Cat having crushes so Gendry would not be proof of her being like her mother. But she did do her duty and loved Ned. She is normal. Brandon's behavior is the opposite to Arya. He would never see it as just a tool and is very passionate. Arya's behavior is not normal but that's expected as I mentioned because of the child soldier inspiration in her arc.

If she can touch a male she doesn't like I don't see age as what's preventing her from finding one she does and touching him.

- Arya had to be convinced there was something bad about the him before she killed the insurance man. She was speculating on reasons (often childish) why the man was a bad man, only to have the Kindly Man cast doubt on each one. In fact, the Kindly Man was at pains to point out to her there was no reason for her to kill the man other than the fact someone else wanted him dead and the FM had pledged to carry it out. In fact, that was the purpose of the test: to see if she could separate the act of killing from her own motivations and judgements.

He didn't confirm it, never provided proof, and told her not to think of it and she accepted that. & as I said she wanted to kill his guards.

- Actually he was already off it. She realizes it, then reluctantly said his name, but without real intent behind it. It telegraphed her decision not to end his life, despite her words of anger. (After all, if she actually wanted him to die, why was she helping bind and clean his wounds?)

She said his name to complete her list just before she left him and this was after she dressed his wounds.

"She had left his name out too, she realized. Why had she done that? She tried to think of Mycah, but it was hard to remember what he'd looked like. She hadn't known him long. All he ever did was play at swords with me. "The Hound," she whispered, and "Valar morghulis."Maybe he'd be dead by morning."

When she left she thought he was dying anyways. So even if she may not have wanted to be the one to kill him the Hound living was not an option to her.

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She said his name to complete her list just before she left him and this was after she dressed his wounds.

When she left she thought he was dying anyways. So even if she may not have wanted to be the one to kill him the Hound living was not an option to her.

Yes, but she no longer hated him, clearly. She's already helping dress his wounds. She already leaves him off the list. And then realizes it, and tries to remember Mycah, and thinks how little she really knew him then and remembers him now. Then she says the Hound's name, but it is rote, there is no force behind it.

"You shouldn't have hit me with an axe. You should have saved my mother" has the same ring as "you should go back and ring that stupid girl's bells". She was once willing to murder the fuck out of him, trial or no trial, gods or no gods. Instead she ends up trusting him, in an uneasy way, and it's a sort of truce between them.

He's helpless at the end. She can kill him quick, kill him slow, or just wait and watch as he fades out in agony. He's even given up on himself so there's nothing to feel bad about doing it. Instead she rides away, leaving him to a fate that is out of her hands. Cruel? Kind? There's one kind of mercy, and then there's the other. I'm not saying she is not conflicted about it, but at the end of the day, if Arya had wanted him to die, she'd have looked in his eyes, heard his last words, and killed him.

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Yes, but she no longer hated him, clearly. She's already helping dress his wounds. She already leaves him off the list. And then realizes it, and tries to remember Mycah, and thinks how little she really knew him then and remembers him now. Then she says the Hound's name, but it is rote, there is no force behind it.

"You shouldn't have hit me with an axe. You should have saved my mother" has the same ring as "you should go back and ring that stupid girl's bells". She was once willing to murder the fuck out of him, trial or no trial, gods or no gods. Instead she ends up trusting him, in an uneasy way, and it's a sort of truce between them.

He's helpless at the end. She can kill him quick, kill him slow, or just wait and watch as he fades out in agony. He's even given up on himself so there's nothing to feel bad about doing it. Instead she rides away, leaving him to a fate that is out of her hands. Cruel? Kind? There's one kind of mercy, and then there's the other. I'm not saying she is not conflicted about it, but at the end of the day, if Arya had wanted him to die, she'd have looked in his eyes, heard his last words, and killed him.

Well, I'm saying wanting him to die doesn't really matter at that point for her. As far as she's concerned he is going to die. Maybe it's by wolves or his wounds finally do him in but the way she saw it he's not going to live through that. So her not killing him is not a mercy so that he may live. The mercy was given by him being found and being taken to the Quiet Isle so he can begin his life anew. That's something the readers not Arya knows.

So she dressed up his wounds I could also ask why didn't she get help for him or try to get shelter? She just left him there.

Later, she thinks in Braavos that she should have put a knife into his heart after she said the Hound was dead. Maybe she thinks she should have killed him herself or she shouldn't have subjected him to such an agonizing death.

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What happened here?

Also, Arya=Ned, Sansa=Cat, but just to play with our heads GRRM has Arya live in the Riverlands and then be "Cat of the Canals" (another type of flowing body of water) and sends Sansa to be mentored in the Vale. In other words, they switch narrative roles, but personality-wise Arya is very much like Ned: charismatic, pack-leader, is very devoted to the old gods, and values the martial arts.

Sansa is dutiful, diplomatic, embraces her role as a woman of noble birth (but hasn't yet matured enough to be critically aware of it the way her mother was), and is more than a little snooty.

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