Help me cure a cold!

[YellowDogJen]

Argh. I'm starting a 4 day weekend. I was infected yesterday (I believe) by a work supervisor with a sinus infection. I started feeling tell-tale symptoms last night (sore throat, which almost always presages a nasty cold for me and I registered a low fever). This morning, after lots of sleep, I'm a ball of thick nasty snot.

I don't wanna be sick on this mini-vacation! I have too much to do and it's no fun! Help me, board!

[all swedes are racist]

Make some extra hot buffalo chicken (I like a blend of Franks Extra hot, sriracha and a liberal sprinkle of some chili powder, topped with Angry Chef), and burn the buggers out. You can almost hear the little microbial fuckers screaming as they try to escape you body.

That's my go-to, I swear by it.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Amputate at the neck.

[Jace, Extat]

Amputate at the neck.

Don't be extreme. A simple tourniquet will do. As long as it's good an tight.

[Raja]

Infect as many as you can before you undertake the aforementioned amputation. Preferred method of passing on the infection? Throwing those nasty snot filled tissue paper out of your window.

[The Drunkard]

Go to a public place and sneeze/cough/rub on everything. By making everyone sick you'll be relatively less sick.

[Inigima]

You can't cure it except by waiting, but to make things less unpleasant in the meantime:

• Sudafed/pseudoephedrine. Absolutely none of this Sudafed PE shit. Phenylephrine sucks and doesn't work. Go to the pharmacy and ask for actual pseudoephedrine. Yes, you have to give them your license because, let's face it, you look like the kind of person who would cook meth. Too bad. Get the real shit.
  
• Afrin. Be careful with this because apparently it is addictive? Don't use it for more than 4 or 5 days. I've never had a problem with it, but you already have a meth habit. Let's not make things worse.
  
• The hottest fucking food you can manage. I like to use ungodly hot salsa. (With chips, not straight from the jar, you fucking animal.) If it does not make your asshole pucker with fear when you eat it, you can do better. This sounds mildly insane, but is good not only for clearing out your sinuses but can also make your throat feel better. You know, apart from the burning.
  
• Blow your nose a lot. This may sound like stupid advice, since you probably won't have a choice, but blow your nose, like, constantly. Use good (soft) tissues to minimize irritation, use lotion on your nose if it's still a problem. Keep things cleared out and you'll be less congested and help the sore throat.
  
• Stay hydrated. Drink lots of water. This will help your body fight it.
  
• Chicken soup if you can get it.

[YellowDogJen]

You can't cure it except by waiting, but to make things less unpleasant in the meantime:

• Sudafed/pseudoephedrine. Absolutely none of this Sudafed PE shit. Phenylephrine sucks and doesn't work. Go to the pharmacy and ask for actual pseudoephedrine. Yes, you have to give them your license because, let's face it, you look like the kind of person who would cook meth. Too bad. Get the real shit.

• Afrin. Be careful with this because apparently it is addictive? Don't use it for more than 4 or 5 days. I've never had a problem with it, but you already have a meth habit. Let's not make things worse.

• The hottest fucking food you can manage. I like to use ungodly hot salsa. (With chips, not straight from the jar, you fucking animal.) If it does not make your asshole pucker with fear when you eat it, you can do better. This sounds mildly insane, but is good not only for clearing out your sinuses but can also make your throat feel better. You know, apart from the burning.

• Blow your nose a lot. This may sound like stupid advice, since you probably won't have a choice, but blow your nose, like, constantly. Use good (soft) tissues to minimize irritation, use lotion on your nose if it's still a problem. Keep things cleared out and you'll be less congested and help the sore throat.

• Stay hydrated. Drink lots of water. This will help your body fight it.

• Chicken soup if you can get it.

This is good advice. Do you have a good meth recipe?

Don't be extreme. A simple tourniquet will do. As long as it's good an tight.

Also good advice. Thanks!

[Xray the Enforcer]

All of the above advice from Ini, but I would also suggest getting a sinus rinse system. It's like a neti pot, but better. It basically makes the "Blow your nose a lot" step a lot more effective.

[Zar Lannister]

Argh. I'm starting a 4 day weekend. I was infected yesterday (I believe) by a work supervisor with a sinus infection. I started feeling tell-tale symptoms last night (sore throat, which almost always presages a nasty cold for me and I registered a low fever). This morning, after lots of sleep, I'm a ball of thick nasty snot.

I don't wanna be sick on this mini-vacation! I have too much to do and it's no fun! Help me, board!

Turmeric Milk!

Sure, it's bitter. Honey it up. Google the recipe and drink warm!

[Underfoot]

Definitely lots of liquids. When I'm sick I prefer to drink my water in hot tea form. Spicy food is great too. I also like using nasal sprays to clear my sinuses up (I have a prescription for Flonase, but over the counter saline sprays works as well). My dad swears by zinc tablets (they're like cough drops, but with lots of zinc I guess?), and always puts them in my Christmas stocking. They taste awful but do seem to help.

I absolutely agree with Inigima on Sudafed vs.Phenylephrine. My roommate used up all my Sudafed when she was sick and replaced it with Phenylephrine. I was very mad haha.

Feel better!

[Jslay427]

Vitamin C

[BLU-RAY]

All of the above advice from Ini, but I would also suggest getting a sinus rinse system. It's like a neti pot, but better. It basically makes the "Blow your nose a lot" step a lot more effective.

What's the advantage of this contraption over the neti pot? I have been using a neti pot for a while, it's fine but not wildly effective, and I wouldn't mind the upgrade.

[Aemon Stark]

Phenyl's main effect on me is keeping me awake. So that's no good. I generally agree that pseudoephedrine works pretty well as a decongestant, though I pretty much always have it in the form of NeoCitran with a good dose of acetaminophen and an antihistamine.

Another thing to do is to make sure you use the full dose of acetaminophen, i.e. 1 gm three or four times a day. If I really need something else, I'll add an Advil (usually extra strength or 400 mg) once or twice a day. But the NeoCitran is key.

[kairparavel]

Sadly, no NeoCitran in the US. Theraflu is a weak substitute.

[Xray the Enforcer]

What's the advantage of this contraption over the neti pot? I have been using a neti pot for a while, it's fine but not wildly effective, and I wouldn't mind the upgrade.

The neti pot works on gravity, which means that it may not get all of your sinuses (especially if you're congested). The NeilMed thingy I linked is a squeeze bottle, so it generally reaches all your head caverns. Plus, you don't need to tilt your head in weird ways to get the water to flow properly.

[Ixodes]

You are truly F'd. There is nothing you can do until your immune system decides to stop destroying your body. It will clear when it clears. In the meantime, NSAIDs, antihistamines, and judicious use of nasal sprays will allow you to minimize the side effects while your immune system acts the fool.

[BLU-RAY]

The neti pot works on gravity, which means that it may not get all of your sinuses (especially if you're congested). The NeilMed thingy I linked is a squeeze bottle, so it generally reaches all your head caverns. Plus, you don't need to tilt your head in weird ways to get the water to flow properly.

Yeah, I kind of figured that was it. I will check it out.

Though, NeilMed is also one of the big neti pot companies, which is interesting - selling two products for the same purpose seems kind of sketchy.

[Tears of Lys]

Y'know, you've already had a lot of good advice. I would just add one thing: gargle with lukewarm salt water. I've found it helps more than anything else for killing germs in your throat.

And chicken soup. Lots of chicken soup.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Yeah, I kind of figured that was it. I will check it out.

Though, NeilMed is also one of the big neti pot companies, which is interesting - selling two products for the same purpose seems kind of sketchy.

Eh, doesn't bother me that much. It's like a toothbrush company making more than one model of toothbrush. In theory, they all do the same thing. But some have fancy bristles and others don't. Neti pots work fine for most people, and they're familiar with them. The squeeze bottles are way more intimidating (at first), and are really made for people like me, who need to get water (and, in my case, aqueous-based steroids) into every last sinus.