Innappropriatness, social media and kids don't mix

[north of the wall]

So yesterday as my hubby was in the shower my 2, 3 & 6 year olds tried to hijack the computer. Mr 2 kept pressing spacebar and making hubby's facebook feed scroll down. He managed to stop pressing spacebar when a porn popped up that some friend had shared.

I quickly got up and refreshed the page so they couldn't watch it but the damage was done. Mr 6 asked me what they were doing. I wasn't sure how to respond and said it was something for adults to understand and not him. He shouldn't have seen it all. His response "oh... so they were having sex!"

Me being the type of parent to be as honest as I see appropriate can think of nothing else to say than yes.

But the problem is I don't think its right people share this stuff on social media. Sure I don't let my kids have their own facebook page at such a young age but that was a complete accident them coming across it, and surely lots of kids stumble across facebook. So is it right or fair that people decide to share such adult content on social media? I think not!! Whats your oppinion?

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

Uh I didn't think porn could show up on Facebook...

[north of the wall]

It was a video shared of a massively obese chick and some skinny guy. Since it was a sex video I would describe it as porn, although not from such exposing angles as professional porns.

ETA: I know 2 girls and a cup has also been shared by the same friend a while ago so it can definately be done even if it is reported and then taken off

[Eponine]

a porn popped up that some friend had shared

Uh. huh.

[Castel]

I always thought that those "share" buttons on porn sites were just a joke. People actually use those? Hah.

As for it being right...I dunno. Depends on your social circle. Did they have a lot of kid FB friends?

[Anythingatall]

I think it's up to parents to monitor it at those ages. If somebody you know posts inappropriate stuff you should hide their posts. All kids stumble across stuff that is difficult to explain, it happened with my kids before we had the internet. I don't think social media makes it harder when the kids are so young.

Once they reach about 11 you have to completely change tac as monitoring is just about impossible.

[sj4iy]

I don't think it's up to the internet to police what users share and don't share (no offense). I'm a parent myself, but I think it ultimately comes down to us taking the appropriate measures to safeguard our children against what we don't want them exposed to.

[Anythingatall]

I don't think it's up to the internet to police what users share and don't share (no offense). I'm a parent myself, but I think it ultimately comes down to us taking the appropriate measures to safeguard our children against what we don't want them exposed to.

The problem is after a shockingly young age you just can't do that anymore. I read this horrifying research about the age children first watch internet porn. I then I had a conversation with my 10 year old about it to find out that he had watched porn. At school, on the playground, on his friends mobile phone.

The internet has left my generation parenting without precedent. It's a nightmare.

[DreamSongs]

I'm 46 and single and my nephews are grown. On the other hand, I have several coworkers that have politely told me that they feel that they should defriend my FB because some of my comments on other friends feeds pop up and they don't feel that they are appropriate. I am totally OK with that; they should be watching out for their kids first.

[sj4iy]

The problem is after a shockingly young age you just can't do that anymore. I read this horrifying research about the age children first watch internet porn. I then I had a conversation with my 10 year old about it to find out that he had watched porn. At school, on the playground, on his friends mobile phone.

The internet has left my generation parenting without precedent. It's a nightmare.

Kids did it before the internet, too. I saw my brother's Playboy collection he had hidden under his bed when I was younger than 10. We can clutch our pearls and expect others to do something about it, or we can do it ourselves. The only reason the internet is a 'nightmare' for parents is because they don't know enough about it. I've fixed so many peoples' computers I've lost count- mostly because they don't know enough not to click on something suspicious and end up infecting their computer with something preventable.

My daughter is almost 6...the only time she has access to our computers are when she is supervised. There's no exception. If we are away, our computers are locked. We have firewalls installed, we have sites blocked- and this is just what we've done for the POSSIBILITY that she might get into our computer. Once she's old enough, we'll teach her what she needs to know. We will teach her about the dangers of social media and help her take precautions. And we'll do the same with our young son as he grows up, too. I'd rather teach them myself than worry about what OTHER people are doing. I can't trust Facebook to know what's best for my children- I know what's best, and therefore, I will take responsibility.

[DreamSongs]

When the nephs were younger, we did the same. We busted one kid on it when he was 13 and explained that there is nothing you can do on the computer that can't be tracked. After that, if anything came up, they would come running to tell us they had clicked on something wrong so they would not lose computer privileges. Technologically savvy people are a must when allowing children access to the internet IMHO. If you can't figure out how to use security software to protect a child, then you should consult someone that does.

[Anythingatall]

Kids did it before the internet, too. I saw my brother's Playboy collection he had hidden under his bed when I was younger than 10. We can clutch our pearls and expect others to do something about it, or we can do it ourselves. The only reason the internet is a 'nightmare' for parents is because they don't know enough about it. I've fixed so many peoples' computers I've lost count- mostly because they don't know enough not to click on something suspicious and end up infecting their computer with something preventable.

My daughter is almost 6...the only time she has access to our computers are when she is supervised. There's no exception. If we are away, our computers are locked. We have firewalls installed, we have sites blocked- and this is just what we've done for the POSSIBILITY that she might get into our computer. Once she's old enough, we'll teach her what she needs to know. We will teach her about the dangers of social media and help her take precautions. And we'll do the same with our young son as he grows up, too. I'd rather teach them myself than worry about what OTHER people are doing. I can't trust Facebook to know what's best for my children- I know what's best, and therefore, I will take responsibility.

Playboy isn't 2 girls one cup, I saw porn mags when I was a kid (thanks Dad) and porn movies but what kids have access to now doesn't come close. Forget porn, what about movies of beheadings and stuff? You can do what you want in your home but other kids literally are carrying around the internet in their pocket.

In the example I gave, my 10 year old child was shown internet porn (I dread to think) on the playground at school, this is the new equivalent of your Dad's Playboy stash. What exactly as a parent can you do to stop that?

The answer is not a single thing.

It's not the same as when we were teens, it wasn't until I had a teen myself that I realised that. Sure it's the same in the way they are curious about porn and other taboos the difference is the access they have.

Good God I remember some of the stupid shit I did as a teenager and thank God in heaven that nobody had camera phones. These poor kids are making the same mistakes we all did but are potentially will end up paying for it for the rest of their lives.

[north of the wall]

I agree. All my kids interent time is usually monitered. This was honestly a case of hubby leaving fb open and 2 yr old pressing spacebar until he conviently stopped and the fb video autoplaying.

I guess I will just have to log him out if he forgets but even if he had been scrolling down on fb himself and he had seen it chances are our kids would have been in the same room since they follow us everywhere. My point simply being that I feel social media is not a place for sexual content. (I couldn't care less about nudity, or swearing but drug use and sex on such an easily accessible forum will continue to annoy me)

For the record this is not my friend on fb to block or hide. Its my hubby's friend who also has kids and most of his fb friends also have kids so I'm surprised I'm the only one who gets annoyed by his shares on fb.

[DreamSongs]

I beg to differ that there is nothing you can do. You can tell your child that they can no longer play with that child at the playground. If it was the playground at school, then you can file a complaint with the school. Kids at school should only have cell phones to use in case of an emergency.

[sj4iy]

Playboy isn't 2 girls one cup, I saw porn mags when I was a kid (thanks Dad) and porn movies but what kids have access to now doesn't come close. Forget porn, what about movies of beheadings and stuff? You can do what you want in your home but other kids literally are carrying around the internet in their pocket.

In the example I gave, my 10 year old child was shown internet porn (I dread to think) on the playground at school, this is the new equivalent of your Dad's Playboy stash. What exactly as a parent can you do to stop that?

The answer is not a single thing.

It's not the same as when we were teens, it wasn't until I had a teen myself that I realised that. Sure it's the same in the way they are curious about porn and other taboos the difference is the access they have.

Good God I remember some of the stupid shit I did as a teenager and thank God in heaven that nobody had camera phones. These poor kids are making the same mistakes we all did but are potentially will end up paying for it for the rest of their lives.

I can't 'stop it'. But no parent is ever able to 'stop' their children from seeing/hearing/learning stuff they don't want them to know. It's part of growing up. People keep trying to make out this generation as so much harder and worse than previous generations...in the end, kids are kids, parents are parents. I don't think it's any harder for me to raise my children than it was for my mom to raise us, or her mom to raise her. In fact, I have it much easier because all I have to worry about is the internet and PTA meetings- my mom had to worry about feeding us and keeping a roof over our heads when she divorced my father for being an alcoholic.

So no, I'm not at all worried about what my kids will and won't see, or when they'll see it. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But the worst thing we can do as parents is to demand that someone else do our job for us. I'll take personal responsibility over censorship any day.

[sj4iy]

I agree. All my kids interent time is usually monitered. This was honestly a case of hubby leaving fb open and 2 yr old pressing spacebar until he conviently stopped and the fb video autoplaying.

I guess I will just have to log him out if he forgets but even if he had been scrolling down on fb himself and he had seen it chances are our kids would have been in the same room since they follow us everywhere. My point simply being that I feel social media is not a place for sexual content. (I couldn't care less about nudity, or swearing but drug use and sex on such an easily accessible forum will continue to annoy me)

For the record this is not my friend on fb to block or hide. Its my hubby's friend who also has kids and most of his fb friends also have kids so I'm surprised I'm the only one who gets annoyed by his shares on fb.

:thumbsup:

My facebook feed is extremely sparse now. I've blocked all of the spammers, idiots, politicos and religious nuts from my feed, and I rarely post (and everything I post is set to private). Really, I've blocked most of my family XD

[DreamSongs]

I agree. All my kids interent time is usually monitered. This was honestly a case of hubby leaving fb open and 2 yr old pressing spacebar until he conviently stopped and the fb video autoplaying.

I guess I will just have to log him out if he forgets but even if he had been scrolling down on fb himself and he had seen it chances are our kids would have been in the same room since they follow us everywhere. My point simply being that I feel social media is not a place for sexual content. (I couldn't care less about nudity, or swearing but drug use and sex on such an easily accessible forum will continue to annoy me)

For the record this is not my friend on fb to block or hide. Its my hubby's friend who also has kids and most of his fb friends also have kids so I'm surprised I'm the only one who gets annoyed by his shares on fb.

I would tell hubby to have a polite conversation. I have never been offended by a REAL friend telling me that are defriending me on FB because they feel that some of the content I reply to is not something that they want their kids to see...mostly because they are Christians and I am not. It may be that this friend needs to hear it from a real life friend if he has children himself.

And yes...kids will always get into stuff that you don't want them exposed to. That has not changed...just the ease of access which is why parents should be vigilant.

[sj4iy]

BTW, you can block someone's facebook feed from showing up on your newsfeed without unfriending them by clicking on the 'down arrow' on the right-hand top corner of one of their posts and click "Unfollow". Friendly tip if you want to remove them from your feed without hurting feelings.

[north of the wall]

I'm not saying raising my kids is harder than the raising of me would have been, nor am I saying the world should be censored to make my life as a parent easier. I was simply asking if anyone else felt that porn was inappropriate for fb?

Whether I like it or not people will always put things up on fb I don't want to see or want my kids to see. Of course I will do my best to stop them from seeing things I don't want them too, but that doesn't negate the fact I wish people wouldn't put that stuff up. Regardless of whether you want to censor fb, would you want it showing up in your newsfeed?

[sj4iy]

I'm not saying raising my kids is harder than the raising of me would have been, nor am I saying the world should be censored to make my life as a parent easier. I was simply asking if anyone else felt that porn was inappropriate for fb?

Whether I like it or not people will always put things up on fb I don't want to see or want my kids to see. Of course I will do my best to stop them from seeing things I don't want them too, but that doesn't negate the fact I wish people wouldn't put that stuff up. Regardless of whether you want to censor fb, would you want it showing up in your newsfeed?

I was responding more to the poster who insists that raising children today is harder than it was before. I disagree with that sentiment whole-heartedly.

I wrote above a handy way of blocking that person without unfriending them. That way your husband can remove him from his newsfeed but still visit his page if he needs to see what he's written.