Do you prefer store-bought gifts or handmade gifts?

[Wise Fool]

The best gifts are homemade, or at least mildly expensive. I need to know someone put some effort or time into it, that's how it's a good gift. It's because the suffering and toil goes right into the gift, see. The person getting the gift doesn't have to be the one suffering, but somebody does, or else it's just ordinary. The best gift is manufactured from the sweat of unpaid child laborers and served to me flavored by the tears of the innocent.

[Cuellar]

I prefer cash or no gifts.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Footmade.gifts or GTFO

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

Both. I tend to view home made gifts as showing that you put more time and thought into the gift. I had instituted a policy where we exchange homemade gifts on Yule.

My husband hates the idea.

I view Amazon gift lists as an idea place....these are the TYPES of things I like, something along these lines would be awesome.

Again the husband is very literal with his list. It annoys me as I agree with Ini, it is a bit classless, like saying "buy me these things, I won't like anything else"

Gift giving should be about showing you care

[Eponine]

Gift giving should be about showing you care

OTOH, I feel like if someone cares, they should buy me the things I'd like. How is it caring to think more about your ego's investment in gift giving than what the other person actually wants?

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

OTOH, I feel like if someone cares, they should buy me the things I'd like. How is it caring to think more about your ego's investment in gift giving than what the other person actually wants?

I wasn't saying it should be about the giver's ego, but rather that it doesn't need to have a dollar value attached.

I have just never felt comfortable with "buy me this"

To each their own. This was about what you prefer, and I expressed how I felt and didn't mean to pass judgment on anyone else.

[lovelikeangels]

i mean, i guess it really depends on the quality of the gift.

i appreciate the effort that goes into handmade gifts and i also appreciate the effort that goes into choosing store-bought gifts that suit me.

but sometimes i get some really bad cheap gifts and i'm like ??? because usually they're stuff that's just so not me and i don't understand where this person got the idea i'd be into 'x'.

[deleted01]

I wasn't saying it should be about the giver's ego, but rather that it doesn't need to have a dollar value attached.

I have just never felt comfortable with "buy me this"

To each their own. This was about what you prefer, and I expressed how I felt and didn't mean to pass judgment on anyone else.

If someone wants to write their own novel in the genre(s) I usually like as a gift to me, then they are very welcome to do so :D

[Buckwheat]

I like both, what I appreciate in a gift is that somebody took time to figure out what I would like and it does not matter if they made it themselves or they bought it.

I agree with Lany about wish lists, I would feel like I was too demanding and impersonal by putting stuff on it. If somebody were to ask me if I wish something special, I would tell them, but I would by no means consider it that they now owed me that or whatever.

If somebody I was planning to give something to kept a wish list, I would feel very uncreative giving them something from there. Last time I was in that position, I bought one of the things off a wish list and added a personal thing made by myself to combine both.

I know that Drac's last comment was in jest, but nonetheless, to the people who keep a wish list: how do you feel about getting something that is not off your wishlist? Not some trash that you dislike, but something that you end up pleasantly surprised by and you like it, you just did not have it on there. Would it be considered rude or creative by the giver?

[King Tyrion I]

Depends. On the person giving it to me - and the circumstances.

[Woofless]

As I said earlier, it can be handmade AND store bought. There are a plethora of handmade websites out there. All making top quality products from Art to individualized T-shirts, to Jewelry to Food! Anything you can imagine.

I have bought (as gifts) quite a lot of handmade items in the past and may do so this Christmas again.

You may end up paying a little more over something mass produced in China, but the quality and uniqueness are worth it. IMO

[Melphis Amekia]

Since I, like, never got a gift(being poor and zero tradition of such don't help) from someone I cared about, I'd pretty much accept anything as long as it felt like a true gift.

I'm also too poor to give gifts to others. In time, when I get a solid financial background, I'll buy gifts. Though, I'd like to learn carpeting, since I'd like to make something like this, but more like a toy instead of a shelf.

[Eponine]

I know that Drac's last comment was in jest, but nonetheless, to the people who keep a wish list: how do you feel about getting something that is not off your wishlist? Not some trash that you dislike, but something that you end up pleasantly surprised by and you like it, you just did not have it on there. Would it be considered rude or creative by the giver?

Often if I have a wish list and suggest it when someone asks me what I want, it's because I already don't trust them to pleasantly surprise me based on experience. I didn't have a wedding registry. We said we didn't need gifts and some people gave us some anyway and my friends gave great gifts that fit my personality/aesthetics/drinking habits and/or money. (One of the V's friends gave us literally a plastic container of rocks from Crate & Barrel or one of those places that was apparently supposed to go with something that another of his friends was supposed to pick up, but friend 2 didn't get the other part.)

I wouldn't be ungrateful or think worse of the person, I wouldn't think them rude or specially creative for going off list, but at the point that I asked someone to buy me something off a list, I would consider a pleasant surprise a dodged bullet of a gift that I didn't like.

I'm not implying that's the only reason that people make lists. I didn't need a registry because I'm old. I'd have definitely considered one with no subtext if I didn't have common household things that people need, because in that case, presumably my friends and family would want to help me out with practical necessities. I wouldn't think it rude for anyone to go off-list, but I think it's worth considering what the person really needs. Like if I'm at the baby shower of someone who is struggling financially, making it so she doesn't have to buy a lot of expensive necessities is going to be better than if 20 people handknit a baby blanket.

[north of the wall]

Ever since I could write I would make an xmas wish list for my mum and dad so they knew what I wanted. Its just natural for me to do and they always wanted the wishlist. (Sure whule I was young enough it was actually for Santa, but that didn't last long)

If I get something thats not on my wishlist then its usually something I need but hadn't thought to ask about and am very pleased mum and dad did think of it. Unless its a bath set in which I just pretend to like it and the kiddies use it instead. lol. (My MIL gets me bath sets or jewelery all the time despite the fact I never wear jewelery or use bath sets. As long as its green she thinks she got me a winner since my fav colour is green... I wish she knew me a bit better!!)

[PlainJeyne]

It depends on the item and it's usefulness and how good the gift-giver is at hand crafting that specific thing.

I don't like useless things very much. A very nice older relative of mine likes to make beaded jewelry as a hobby, and I appreciate that she thinks to get me something every year, but it never goes to use and it's not my style at all. I'd appreciate a donation made in my name, or some cookies she baked (she makes delicious cookies!) more.

But one of my favorite things from when I was a child was a "home made" gift from a relative who is good with woodwork. It's an old fashioned rocking horse. My parents saved it and my nieces and nephews all used it and now my own children can use it. It's very sturdy and better than most any store bought toy, which usually break after a time.

[Buckwheat]

Eponine, good point about bad experience. If somebody has given me something useless in the past, I would be glad if they asked me what I wished the next time they felt giving me something was appropriate. Or just giving me a gift card for a bookshop or something similar.

NOTW, I used to write to "Grandpa Cold" (our version of Santa) when I was a child too. It was never a list, though, well, I always asked just for one thing (typically a box of Lego blocks) in the form of a letter, the justification that I behaved well throughout the year and that I wished this one thing. It never occured to me that I could include more than one item.

I was actually surprised to discover adult people kept wishlists a few years ago during a Secret Santa.

[Weeping Sore]

The best gift is manufactured from the sweat...the tears...

Really any bodily excretion gives a gift that personal touch.

[scotcat]

I don't mind either, but to be perfectly frank, it depends on the quality of the handmade gift.

In the past, I've received some absolutely gorgeous handmade gifts from family members as I'm lucky enough to have - or had in the past - some very talented people in the family. My late grandmother, for example, could do anything with a needle and thread/knitting /crocheting/sewing machine and some of the nicest gifts I got as a child were made by her. On the other hand, I've also had some handmade stuff, where I'm not entirely sure what it is...

I have no objections to giving/receiving store bought gifts if thought has gone into them. Take the time to know the interests of the gift recipient and know your own crafting limitations.

[deleted01]

I like both, what I appreciate in a gift is that somebody took time to figure out what I would like and it does not matter if they made it themselves or they bought it.

I agree with Lany about wish lists, I would feel like I was too demanding and impersonal by putting stuff on it. If somebody were to ask me if I wish something special, I would tell them, but I would by no means consider it that they now owed me that or whatever.

If somebody I was planning to give something to kept a wish list, I would feel very uncreative giving them something from there. Last time I was in that position, I bought one of the things off a wish list and added a personal thing made by myself to combine both.

I know that Drac's last comment was in jest, but nonetheless, to the people who keep a wish list: how do you feel about getting something that is not off your wishlist? Not some trash that you dislike, but something that you end up pleasantly surprised by and you like it, you just did not have it on there. Would it be considered rude or creative by the giver?

Not at all. My wishlist is largely made up of books, so if someone thinks of, or already has, a book that I might like, based on what I've already read or is on my wishlist, then I'm happy to receive it. It's when people buy me utter crap that I can't use (like bath sets), or complain that I'm so hard to buy for, then I'll send them my wishlist and they have no excuse. My mum loves it - it makes it really easy for her, plus when I lived across the country, she could send things straight to me for my birthday through Amazon, without paying for extra postage.

I don't understand the dislike for wishlists. It's just what we used to do as kids, make a list of things we wanted, and then people pick from that list, based on what they can afford to give. If someone knows me well enough to just see something and buy it for me, kudos, much appreciated.

[Eponine]

As I said earlier, it can be handmade AND store bought. There are a plethora of handmade websites out there.

I don't think there's anything I want less than a gift bought off etsy.