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Word by Word Story - Volume 31

First of My Name

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First of My Name

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Welcome to the new thread of Word by Word Story. The idea is simple: You post one word, and together with other words it forms a story. Anyone can join in. You can't post twice in a row, and please attempt to use correct grammar and stuff. As cohesive as possible. The stories usually last about 400 words.

The first 9 volumes were about Smallrus, the small walrus, and the adventures he had with his friends and enemies. Volumes 10 to 18 focused on Gregling McGreg's rise to and fall from power, and ended when his son Grog swore to kill Lucifer, who was responsible for the collapse of Gregling's empire. Then we had the struggles of Yomi, Darth and Sansa. Now, a new tale has begun... Someone has assassinated the king, and it's up to famed detective Monseigneur Cockatrice to find out who and why. But sinister schemes are afoot, involving the king's daughter, Princess Mushroom, and Santa Clause himself.

Volume 28:

Someone executed the king! 'Find him, you foolish cockatrice!' screeched Halfdan to his new detective, monseigneur Cockatrice. Cockatrice gasped for regaining his composure. He mused how Halfdan would filibuster by breaking guest seats. 'What are you inhaling?' asked frog-hatted, peculiar Halfdan. 'Exhaust yourselves if you must, but leave something for the mudbloods to intoxicate everyone," said Kamina. "There's something special about her cooking," muttered Halfdan. He solemnly swore to avenge his uncle's murder. King Sagoro audibly cringed as Naomi ripped her stuffed bodice, leaking slime everywhere. "Why expose your chest?" Monseigneur Cockatrice pretended to be dead so that Naomi exposed herself some more. "Yes! Now go zigzag across town on your electric quest," whispered Monseigneur Cockatrice. Naomi kissed the detective on his nose before pissing in it. Cockatrice was enamoured with her, but she despised him violently. They tumbled through erotic fields, under a vermillion sky. Meanwhile, Halfdan touched stuff, causing eruptions that destroyed half the evidence. "Bloody peasant!", the arsonist spat on the floor, causing Cockatrice to climax all over Naomi. Disgusted, she killed the Arsonist. "Great Warlus has helped me make very wriggly man love," exclaimed Monseigneur Cockatrice, coming brilliantly to the peek of ecstacy. "Phew, now shit is going to hit hard," said Princess Mushroom. The king envied his living dead brony, because feminists avoided caricatures and Disney mother-tragedies. "If pumpernickel were calamari monsters, then lizard-lions will feed upon the sensual entrails." However, Santa intervened by threatening to murder every child if Halfdan celebrated Christmas sloppily. Thus, Princess Mushroom stole the holy grail and fled. "If you circumnavigate Mars, she is condemned," said Santa. "You titillate mate, silly mushroom sex-goddess." He ripped several handfuls of flesh from shark-penises while eating nutella. Soon after the marriage, Monseigneur Cockatrice proposed that everyone apotheosize him, because shit is going ruin the eyeballs of all. Especially now that typhoons will rage across nudist colonies, spreading debris. Everyone booked their flagon of urine. Popcorn was Brigadier General Pompous Pete's favorite bowtie scarecrow cuisine. Lucius' triumvirate of Mordor sandwiches chose tune over whale bacon consistently. Halfdan brought Brigadier General Pompous Pete down with clowns, removing clothes angrily. "You procrastinating luminaries, how dare you drag my sandwiches through French toast? Don't disrepect watery owls without condoms." "Justice will not be done until my owls recover their firearms," demanded Santa. Rudolph fumbled with the psychic panda, but then Prancer never participated wholeheartedly in the frollicking. Anal was too risky so protective firesuits were donned. Alas, they stripped the holy septon, who enjoyed bondage particularly during kicking testicals or penguins. Princess Mushroom tortured Rudolph with pantomime guiter riffs while holiday porn was playing constantly. In king Jeremiah's sauna, crabs devoured pistachios without drinking loads of orangeade. Robin undressed quickly before Princess Mushroom sat on him with spiky green syringes, loaded with maple syrup. Meanwhile, Jesus woke Great Walrus worshippers by cartwheeling randomly across moats overflowing with corpses.

Volume 29:

Monseigneur Cockatrice decided to swap holes with Princess Mushroom. Her body ached for his collection of pennies. Princess Mushroom begged, "I implore you to impale Santa gently with spiked spikes." Meanwhile, gargantuan lesbians were eating celery onions because peace florished among vegetarian royalty. Suddenly, Santa vomited a plethora of thumbtacks violently. Monseigneur Cockatrice rose shaking, because Snow White had decapitated him sexually. Little Cockatricia watched Consul Mark Antony masturbate while laughing and inhaling fumes. "Put that apparatus in where Cesar dares prostitutes to swallow aubergines." Luckily, Dracula fainted without having comprehended most judicial proceedings. This helped vampires avoid castration and dance contests, which encourage buffoonery. Meanwhile, reindeer slept fitfully, because why not? The Little Red Saxon wanted nothing more than to make scandalous postcards and unethical scarfs. Halfdan attacked Cockatricia, axes splattering. Monseigneur Cockatrice raged single-handedly, sacrificing all children to the Sea God, Jace. Traditionally, Jace slumbers during her menopausal equinox, but she wantonly kicked and cried pitifully till hell froze. Nonetheless, the demon spawn devoured several microscopic pieces of Dracula's döppleganger. Cockatricia was pissed when the Little Red Saxon buried her in vichysoisse. Sagoro climbed Naomi to save junk typewriters from the dark side. Naomi composed herself, or something, something darkside... "Huh?" howled Andy Dufresne, but nothing happened. Monseigneur Cockatrice devised the apparatus by inhaling asparagus, potatoes and pineapples. Halfdan exclaimed, "Fuck this detective up, please, now!" Naomi couldn't begin masturbating because why would anything stimulate a gargoyle? Decisively, Santa pulled his pants up. He couldn't fathom getting aroused for something monarchists would find adorable. Henceforth, Vixen hunted Liopleurodons for cash, since the Tyrannosaurus Rex was preoccupied. Meanwhile, Princess Mushroom decided that Consul Mark Antony should pounce at the Pony Queen, who lustfully awaited her favorite cyborg. "Yeah, I know that cyborgs aren't alive but we should give their opinions merit based on merit and torque." This unholy beast grew monstrous as the Little Red Saxon took control of Cyborgburg, city of citizens who cite obscure gorilla chants, whipped up by whips. Furthermore buttocks of hell. Sad consul is sad. Panda can't chew babies, you silly galactic sad gargoyle. Hated begins where buttocks emerge. Honestly, butt must play or it will, R'hllor will, cry. Explosively, shitting thumbtacks stuck in depths, uncharted waters. "Grammar won't matter," said Naomi. Jujitsu still ruled in the third tremester. Fighting for something was sexy and intriguing. Twerk sucks. Errr said, "Gods do make cakes of souls, broken televisions and sleazy britches." Queen Errr murdered saucily. Granfathered by law and "Yippikayay!" she bellowed. Something ravished Santa, unlike Princess Mushroom, who dilated her pink fluffy unicorn horn expertly. "Murder bites buttcheeks," proclaimed Monseigneur Cockatrice. The dead agreed.

Volume 30:

Queen Errr rolled through the muddy abyss the wrong way, causing chaos in Cyborgburg. Halfdan scrambled brains with tuning forks. Monseigneur Cockatrice stretched uncomfortably while yawning. "Find my taste clothes," the Little Red Saxon insisted. The Sea God Jace crucified every knight and slathered them, honoring the word of Consul Antony. "Some shellfish disturbs my appetite," Provolone said. Then the skies urethra opened. A mighty potato declared war on Queen Errr because of her smell, which butchered many nasal hairs. Naomi licked her wounds, caused by Monseigneur Cockatrice's rampant and agressive enforcer whom his Goddess couldn't betray. The fulfillment of the prophecy meant that he killed Kalvin Klein again. This was blasphemy, all right? But Halfdan thought not; he discovered that turning down casual offers for doing summersaults without pants caused immediate outrage. Therefore Cleopatra decided to send texts and selfies to her slave sluppier, so she would impress the sexy tyrant that wanted masturbatory release. This fluffy butt leaking butt-juice was trying to escape Azkaban on a tiny digo wearing tiny Y-fronts. How suicidal, thought the mighty potato. When a spider grew phalanges of phalluses so it could multi-task with her secret lover, things were troublesome, escalating into total chaos. "Valar Morghulis," muttered Tony. The Cthulhu basketball tournament commentator sexually digressed and fled down the spiderweb alley. Seeing that Benedict Arnold was nude in public, the Cthulhu decided that Benedict should pay one billion golden hippopotami. Also three silver stags. Benedict refused, saying:'" He doesn't fight women because cocaine engorges peninses, pummels and nipples." Clearly Benedict had no concept of nipplepsy whatsoever. Luckily, so did Queen Errr. She dug a mine for building the Sea God Jace's gigantic statue. Once finished, all of Cyborgburg was tense, waiting for The Winds of Winter's release. Monseigneur Cockatrice decided murder was the best solution of his dandruff. Jehosephat thought homosexual thoughts while performing oral surgery. He saved Monseigneur Cockatrice's precious canker sore from infection and cuckolded loudly for the night. In other news, Attila sat on top of Davrum's euphamism. Oddly, it became true after they made chicken parm without virgin's blood and milk. Shocked from Dementors, Attila produced electric blankets and proceeded to nuzzle the fluffy blue teddy cat. "Mmmmmm," Consul Mark Antony muttered, straddling the carpet. "This damn betrothal to Memphis Beautyqueen is fucking expensive, man! And intercourse is forbidden!" Naturally, he disobeyed, because sex. This tale blows hot pastrami over Errr's buttery belly button, which sprouted spores of extreme prejudice. Suddenly, the story aroused ire feelings inside. Meanwhile, Monseigneur Cockatrice splattered Queen Errr's accessories around his large pink boil, causing intense insomnia. It uncovered a heinous plot which involved many holes.

Now, on the next one...

Halfdan

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