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Explaining 50 Shades?


Seaworth'sShipmate

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How is it that 50 shades of Grey is so successful, and has gotten away with as much as it has?



It is in some ways quite politically incorrect, one of the most financiallyl anti feminist films made. It is a long way from "Thelma and Louise" of 25 years ago.



It has a younger "sub" female college student, falling for the older, powerful, wealthy "dom".



It involves stalking, and masochism. While there is a fairy tale ending, I feel if a relationship like this were real, it could turn quite abusive and controlling.



Why is it so successful? Is BDSM just a bigger, more common kink than I realized? Perhaps just a suspension of disbelief, as in even though this would be bad in real life, it is quite tittilating on screen?



I would like some perspective.



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It involves stalking, and masochism. While there is a fairy tale ending, I feel if a relationship like this were real, it could turn quite abusive and controlling.

The central relationship is emotionally abusive and controlling. Personally, one of my biggest peeves with the book/film is that it's possible to have a BDSM relationship without emotional abuse.

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Because people in the states are utterly and hopelessly hung up about sex. We have so few oppritunities to really let our freak flag fly plus we are forced by social convention to be shocked at the idea. In much the same way that guy in Casablanca was "shocked" to find out there was gambling going on.



We all have our kinks and fetishes but no one will ever cop to them and really why on earth should you have to justify your most private sexual thoughts to anyone besides your partner?



De Sade was put in jail for this stuff it isn’t a new idea



It is sexual wish fulfillment for daddies who wish could include in this stuff 24/7 and a certain type of woman who want to be controlled and dominated even though they will never admit it.


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The central relationship is emotionally abusive and controlling. Personally, one of my biggest peeves with the book/film is that it's possible to have a BDSM relationship without emotional abuse.

Is it though? I am unfamiliar with the whole "master/slave" sexual kink. Isn't it mostly like boyfriend/girlfirend ( at least fuck-buddy) with a bit more harshness and control ( that both parties.. want?)

Im not sure its the "Sex" aspect people in the states mind ( the non-christians) but the gender inequality/power imbalance.

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Porn that's wordy enough to make the reader feel they are partaking in literature instead of porn?

Yeah, something like that. There's too much make-believe social stigma tied to pornography, so this "artsy" garbage is a way for people to pretend as if they are engaging in "culture" while really just getting off.

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Is it though? I am unfamiliar with the whole "master/slave" sexual kink. Isn't it mostly like boyfriend/girlfirend ( at least fuck-buddy) with a bit more harshness and control ( that both parties.. want?)

Im not sure its the "Sex" aspect people in the states mind ( the non-christians) but the gender inequality/power imbalance.

It's not an uncommon fetish/fantasy. I've been with quite a few ladies who wanted me to dominate them, which was always difficult to me because I don't feel comfortable telling people what to do and controlling the situation in this way. It's not something that is relegated to just women either. There are a lot of men who partake in relationships where the woman is the dominate one who tells them what to do, when they can do it and belittle them vocally and sometimes physically. And for some reason they love it. It is a common fetish among both genders and sexual orientations.

I'm not going to call it abuse or anything like that though. I don't understand it, but if both people are willing participants playing this game then they can do whatever they want.

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My understanding (having not actually read the book) is that part of the appeal of the book is the first-person narration that allows the writer to create a vicarious experience. For all the gripes surrounding both the quality of the writing and the subject matter, I suspect that the trashy thrills that this technique delivered are what kickstarted its popularity.



There's also something to be said for the fact that once something acquires the critical mass to be as well known as Fifty Shades of Grey is, the stigma that is normally associated with such books is blown away in a torrent of well-everyone-else-is-reading-it that mean people who otherwise might not bother will give it a try. Furthermore one of the things that the book publishing industry is good at is keeping track of sales numbers. It is probably the case that far more people have watched pornography than read Fifty Shades. But I suspect that due to [a] the high quantity of very similar content and the inability of the porn industry to actually track its views due to the culture of piracy around its use these days, it would be difficult for any porn film to attain the popularity that this book has. Certainly not to the point that it is as celebrated in popular culture.



ST


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My understanding (having not actually read the book) is that part of the appeal of the book is the first-person narration that allows the writer to create a vicarious experience. For all the gripes surrounding both the quality of the writing and the subject matter, I suspect that the trashy thrills that this technique delivered are what kickstarted its popularity.

There's also something to be said for the fact that once something acquires the critical mass to be as well known as Fifty Shades of Grey is, the stigma that is normally associated with such books is blown away in a torrent of well-everyone-else-is-reading-it that mean people who otherwise might not bother will give it a try. Furthermore one of the things that the book publishing industry is good at is keeping track of sales numbers. It is probably the case that far more people have watched pornography than read Fifty Shades. But I suspect that due to [a] the high quantity of very similar content and the inability of the porn industry to actually track its views due to the culture of piracy around its use these days, it would be difficult for any porn film to attain the popularity that this book has. Certainly not to the point that it is as celebrated in popular culture.

ST

Its hardly a new thing and people have been trying it for decades. I remember as a child, when I was with my mother in the grocery store there would often be "naughty" books near the magazine racks, with covers of princesses in the arms of muscular warriors. Perhaps people will be more open about it now, and less secretive? Id love to hear about a book club of "50 shades" lol.

I suppose also that 50 shades and other romance novels might be more appealing for its intended female audience, because there can be a love story and "feelings" to be explored, rather than just a few minute clip of cut and dry, mechanical, animalistic sex?

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Its hardly a new thing and people have been trying it for decades. I remember as a child, when I was with my mother in the grocery store there would often be "naughty" books near the magazine racks, with covers of princesses in the arms of muscular warriors. Perhaps people will be more open about it now, and less secretive? Id love to hear about a book club of "50 shades" lol.

I suppose also that 50 shades and other romance novels might be more appealing for its intended female audience, because there can be a love story and "feelings" to be explored, rather than just a few minute clip of cut and dry, mechanical, animalistic sex?

The format is not new, but discussion of such a thing as a 'global phenomenon' is. That novelty is what allowed it to be propelled to such heights, I reckon. In this day and age there often isn't that much difference between something that is consigned to the rubbish heap and something that becomes a bestseller. When asking "Why this one?" the answer may just be that things were set up for a book of this type to be a big hit and it just happened to be Fifty Shades that rode the wave of viraldom to the pop-culture relevance.

You could argue (I'm not sure I quite believe it, but I'll say it anyway) that the group of people who were fans of Twilight already were primed to enjoy something like this, stemming as it did from Twilight fanfic and exploring in some ways similar themes. That such a large audience already existed gave it the critical mass it needed to jump to the mainstream - possibly a leg up over the competition? I'm clutching at straws here.

ST

ST

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I have read all of the books. They are terrible. He stalks her, controls her, berates her etc.

I think it makes certain people feel "naughty" when they read it and that gives them a thrill. As someone around the same age as the protagonist; I don't find it appealing at all.

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Porn Stars on 50 Shades of Grey...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPE3R8twHrw

Nothing over the top, but may be NSFW

Ha, that was actually pretty funny. Especially, #1 :D

I have read all of the books. They are terrible. He stalks her, controls her, berates her etc.

I think it makes certain people feel "naughty" when they read it and that gives them a thrill. As someone around the same age as the protagonist; I don't find it appealing at all.

And yet you read them all :p I hope you didn't spend any money on them.

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Is it though? I am unfamiliar with the whole "master/slave" sexual kink. Isn't it mostly like boyfriend/girlfirend ( at least fuck-buddy) with a bit more harshness and control ( that both parties.. want?)

Im not sure its the "Sex" aspect people in the states mind ( the non-christians) but the gender inequality/power imbalance.

Healthy BDSM relationships aren't abusive. They are consensual and the defining characteristic is trust. From what I understand, these characters have a serious problem with trust, which makes their relationship more abusive than BDSM. I haven't read the books, but most commentary includes stuff about how he stalks and manipulates her and how she has to constantly assure him about things.

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Ha, that was actually pretty funny. Especially, #1 :D

And yet you read them all :p I hope you didn't spend any money on them.

I couldn't have genuine opinions on them if I'd never read them, could I? Of course I didn't. Someone sent me a pdf of them all. At first I thought it was kinda funny because it was so bad but now I'm starting to realise just how problematic they are.
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I don't think it's necessarily bad to enjoy a problematic fantasy so long as everyone involved knows that it is a fantasy.

^ This. It's your imagination do whatever you want with it as long as you understand its not the same as reality.

One of the positive aspects of the success of 50 Shades is that it's getting more women interested in porn, which will lead to better porn being created.

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^ This. It's your imagination do whatever you want with it as long as you understand its not the same as reality.

One of the best aspects of the success of 50 Shades is that it's getting more women interested in porn, which will lead to better porn being created.

:lmao:

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