Kelli Fury Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Continue, my lonely nerd friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 "It's not you it's me"... nice way to break up when you've been going out for a month or so, but very frustrating to hear when you've been together for two years and everything seems peachy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I hate it's not you it's me. I compare getting broken up with to ripping off a band aid. It's best to do it quickly, it only stings for a minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Heh. My first girlfriend dumped me with "It's not you it's me." That whole thing from beginning to end to angsty teen poetry was about as cliche as it gets. I've always preferred honesty when it comes to breakups. But I guess it's safer for everyone involved to let 'em down easy with gentle bullshit in most cases. Shame it has to be that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glaurung Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 The things described don't sound like "having a temper" they sound like being an abusive asshole who could use counseling I've never been one to call names and stuff like that when angry. I got over that in the 4th grade. But most of my exes have been this way and would resort to name calling and belittling when really angry. I just always accepted it as something a lot of people do when they get angry and that I should perhaps lower my expectations. I'm not sure if I'd call it abusive so much as immature. I mean...I had a 4 year relationship with one of them...she was otherwise pretty pleasant, she was just rather unpleasant when angry. She would turn into a 9 year old calling names and throwing things. So long as she didn't throw things at me or break anything that I had to pay for, I just let the tantrums slide. My father was a wonderful man, but he had a hot temper when he got really angry. He never called my mother names, but he did occasionally throw things...then he would simmer down and apologize. He rarely was angry though, maybe a handful of times in my 18 years, and most of them were during his depression that lasted for about 2 years(brought on by a battle with prostate cancer). I do remember though that one time he threw something outside and it broke. I remember my mother told him that if he did anything like that again, he could pack his bags. From then on if he got angry he would leave the house and go for a walk in the countryside...I imagine so he could find rocks to throw at trees! Anyway, my point is I don't really consider it abuse unless the person uses the behavior to try to control and manipulate you(and that can be done even without name calling and/or violence). Immature and maybe a bit assholish...but whether it is abuse depends on the context. As to whether it is something a person should deal with...everybody is different. I can put up with a few tantrums so long as the relationship is fine otherwise. On the con thing, I think this specific situation sounds bizarre and alarm bells for trying a relationship there but in general with the amount of people that go through the criminal justice system in the US I'd want more details of what they did before being comfortable dismissing them as just an ex con. As a general rule I believe in do your time then get another chance (unless the time is pathetically low for what you did). I don't want to derail the thread here, but while I generally believe you do your time and get another chance... there are some crimes(rape, murder, molesting a child) for which I would never give somebody a 2nd chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Heh. My first girlfriend dumped me with "It's not you it's me." That whole thing from beginning to end to angsty teen poetry was about as cliche as it gets. I've always preferred honesty when it comes to breakups. But I guess it's safer for everyone involved to let 'em down easy with gentle bullshit in most cases. Shame it has to be that way.My last girlfriend did that by text. And then said she hoped we could be friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm not pushing you away! I'm pulling me towards myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Agreed on that last bit Glaurung, on a personal level a rapist definitely isn't getting a second chance from me. That's why I meant I'd want to know a bit more, someone who has done time for drug possession charges or DUI and rehabilitated could be perfectly fine, other crimes definitely not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quorra Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Simply having a prison record is not in itself a deal-breaker, it depends on the circumstances and what they did. I feel a bit weird about it that my friend mentioned it. He knows my dad is incarcerated but I don't think he was being insensitive, just maybe bone-headed. So, my friend is going to come visit me May 30th. I went to high school with this friend so I've known him a long time. I'm supposed to work that day so we're getting together for dinner and he's going to meet up with his friend for drinks later. I'm invited. His friend was sentenced to 24 months for possession of weed and a stolen vehicle - I think he had some other past offences. Nothing violent, just kind of your basic bad crowd situation. But he got out in 15 months. I don't understand the correctional system, I didn't get all the deets. Anyway, I kind of wish I could back out of it now but I feel bad since I suggested getting together. I should just let it go, it's probably not going to happen between us. My friend is really attractive, that's the problem. He's got this look about him, too, that a lot of women like - big shoulders, tiny eyes. He's like a chick magnet and he knows it. It's trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Anyway, I kind of wish I could back out of it now but I feel bad since I suggested getting together. I should just let it go, it's probably not going to happen between us. My friend is really attractive, that's the problem. He's got this look about him, too, that a lot of women like - big shoulders, tiny eyes. He's like a chick magnet and he knows it. It's trouble. The question is if he has the type of personality that goes with having that look. I've met people who are very attractive and yet who are very faithful in their monogamy, too, so there's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Tiny eyes? Really? And that's a good thing? Hmmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sperry Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Nothing infuriates me than "letting you down gently" breakups, because taken on their face they leave the door open, when there is usually no chance for that whatsoever. Obviously breaking up with someone is not easy, but if you absolutely don't feel like giving the real reasons for breaking up with someone, at least say something like "I am no longer romantically interested in you," or something that makes it 100% clear that it's done. Yes, the rational mind knows that "it's not you, it's me" means go home it's over, but the person who has just been dumped is usually not in a rational frame of mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 I have also not heard of tiny eyes being considered attractive by many people, kind of the opposite. So maybe there's less competition than you think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Tiny eyes vs no tiny eyes is a thing? You really do learn something new everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 How tiny are we talking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Mine are pretty small. I don't consider it an attractive feature at all but I got very excited when I realised that Jennifer Lawrence's are very similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 I looked into his tiny eyes and stated, "It's not me; it's you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 BAh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 farscape handled it honestly: It's not you, it's me; I don't like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Mine are pretty small. I don't consider it an attractive feature at all but I got very excited when I realised that Jennifer Lawrence's are very similar. yeah my eyes are pretty small as well i wish they were bigger, i only like them because they're tilted upwards and make me me feel mildly elfin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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