Nas! Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Donkey, I love you, but this advice sucks. Don't blame me. It's the Buddha's metaphor, not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocksniffer Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Don't blame me. It's the Buddha's metaphor, not mine. dear donkey, perhaps it would help you with my quest for answers if i exchanged nirvana with samsara...though if i do the cobain reference is stupid actually now i have decided my quest isn't actually for answers...just for a map....did the gods offer any classes in cartography? ~rocksniffing mapseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Dear Donkey, The cabernet or the merlot with pizza? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 This is a serious advice thread, RRL, not a 'What If' machine, so I'll give some serious advice: pull your finglonger out of your ass.Sigh, you're right, as always.Dear DonkeyEvery time I take a sip from my coffee mug, I get a sharp pain in my eye. What should I do?Sincerely,Only U Can Help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Dear LAASG, Androgynous Alien Sex Gods are some of the loneliest beings I've ever met. Maybe you are coming on too strong? Or not strong enough? Try being more assertive. Or less assertive. One of those might work. Alternatively, you might try starting with a compliment. Mortal humans are curiously vain creatures, and nothing makes them believe that they like you more than believing that you like them. Then, once you have their attention and trust, you can slowly reveal the terrifying depth of your inner self.Thank you for the sage advice Donkey. Unfortunately I've just seen the trailer for the Point Break remake and I no longer wish to associate myself with humans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, I feel alone. Not physically, because I'm often surrounded by people. But I feel like I can't really connect to them, that I want too be alone when I'm with them, and want company when I'm alone. I try to make conversations work but it just gets awkward fast, I can never communicate my true feelings. How can I make people listen to me?If this post is serious, Leap, my advice is to go talk to a doctor. It sounds like depression to me, and this donkey only has an honourary doctorate. If this post is not serious, try the following: learn to play the tuba. Or play it without learning how. Either way, when you play a tuba, people will listen whether they like it or not. Additionally, music is a lovely way to express your true feelings. And there is no more expressive instrument than the tuba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, Before I broke up with my ex, she gave me a GameBoy Advance with the original Pokemon game. I want to get of everything associated with her, but I also don't to throw away a precious artifact. Opinions? -JonSnewDear JonSnew, My grandfather had a great influence on me while I was growing up. He was full of wisdom, and your conundrum reminds me of two of his favourite sayings:1. True gifts only come with strings if they are yo-yos or marionettes, and:2. Stuff is your enemy, young Nassy, rid your life of stuff and be happy. So...not sure where I was going with that. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, Jaxom and I share similar issues this evening. I have a tangy herb-layered brie, Roquefort, marinated fresh mozzarella and a Double Gloucester. Should I pair this selection with a decent spiced, dark ale or a cheap red with a screwtop instead of a cork? Bear in mind I am reading 'Cheese and Culture' tonight and will be a cheese snob tomorrow. Thanks! <3 Bex ps So much for my 72 hours of sobriety :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercenaryChef Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear donkey,am I truly as beautiful as you imagine I am? Can I get a Cascadia flag tattooed on me without being perpetually assumed to be a dickhead sounders fan?am I but a creation of that which others suppose I should be? If so, are those people assholes? Should Myshkin and I cross path in the flesh next month in Los Angeles will we destroy the earth in a fantastic manner as I have always hoped?Your fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey,I may still be in Mexico when MC visits Los Angeles next month. Why is this cruel universe forever conspiring to keep us apart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 With the plethora of recent threads in Gen Chat soliciting advice on all manner of topics, it has become clear that this community needs a lot of help.I humbly submit my services with this thread. Having (briefly) ascended a few years back, I have picked the brains of the gods themselves, and returned with all of their great wisdom. If you don't have a couple of their heads swinging from your belt like some sort of divine version of Truck Nutztm , I shall be terribly disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 that may be the first time that anyone accused kellhus of being an irredeemable redneck, nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Weird. Kellhus and I have been smoking weed, drinking "lite" beer, and listening to Skynyrd in the back of his pick up all night, yet I hadn't considered the possibility that he was a redneck until ToL's post. The confederate flag ought to have tipped me off, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 dear donkey can a man expect to gain nirvana if kurt cobain is dead? ~rocksniffing headbangerDear Rocksniffing Headbanger,Here's a little unadvertised fact about nirvana: there is limited seating. Get in while you can and sit as if you are playing musical chairs with the stakes being your eternal soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, I am faced with a moral quandary. I have to make a decision based on rules, but I don't want to. In short, should I comply with the rules and move a certain un-named thread about advice to Forum Games or leave it where it is? Yours, Undercover Dropbear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Stubby, Donkey should not be relegated to Forum Games where his glory will only be eventually be diminished and appreciated only by the dual Gen/Chat and TTTNE participants. We need this levity. Please? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, I am faced with a moral quandary. I have to make a decision based on rules, but I don't want to. In short, should I comply with the rules and move a certain un-named thread about advice to Forum Games or leave it where it is? Yours, Undercover DropbearDear Undercover Dropbear,You've jumped the queu due to the urgency of your post. Yours is a problem I do not envy. I think we've both been here long enough to know that:1. Your duty is to follow forum rules, and:2. Moving this thread to forum games will kill it. I personally think that no one, admin included, would bother you for neglecting your duty in this instance, and that Gen Chat clearly a bit of an aberration on the board as far as the rules are concerned, and that this thread is just a bit if fun that isn't really hurting anyone. Regardless, I will respect your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Thank you, o noble donkey. You speak fine words as always. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Also, I'm pretty sure Xray has already pretended to not notice this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dear Donkey, With all the social stigma surrounding them, I find myself too embarrassed to use my pelfie stick in public. There are some lovely sunsets this time of year and it's upsetting to miss out on so many opportunites for scenic shots. Do you have any advice as to how I can overcome this? Love, SBThis a hard truth, my friend, and I regret having to reveal it to you: Every time you steal an image of the universe, you cheapen it forever. Let each beautiful, unique sunset live on in your memory, and there alone. On a related note: the next time you meet someone who claims to be a "photographer", punch him or her in the face as hard as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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