Kelli Fury Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 A diet coke and an iPhone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ordos Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 So I made that post in the last thread asking if this girl liked me. Well I communicated with her again on Facebook and accepted her invitation to meet her. She lives in Malaysia so it should not be too difficult to arrange a meeting since it's a short flight and I don't need a visa to travel there. But since we both have work, our schedules need to be hammered out first. Anyway, she again did something unexpected. She apologized for not having a spare room at the place she is staying at for her work, but said I could stay at her house. Strange that she would think I would not want to stay at a hotel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 A diet coke and an iPhone So you claim... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 http://i.imgur.com/iD1DWhq.jpgI've seen this photo before and I can't imagine forgetting it, let alone meeting you. That fucking jacket, I wants it so bad. And you know, you aren't exactly a forgettable figure.As for declarations of love on social media, posting of flowers etc... I do that and I do it more than once a year. If I say I love her it's normally spontaneous and in response to something going on, and I post flowers she sends me because they make me happy and fuck it, I've spent too many years miserable, hiding who I am and hiding what makes me happy. I get some beautiful flowers I'm sharing them, not to show off but to share the happiness.I also didn't impose any tourist test, and I seem mostly drawn to bi girls (currently talking to another one at the moment I'm supposed to meet next week although nfi if it's a date or not) who happens to be married to a guy. Not all gay girls have issues with bi women, although I'd probably be sceptical if the reason was "mostly straight but sick of guys" even if I completely understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 So I made that post in the last thread asking if this girl liked me. Well I communicated with her again on Facebook and accepted her invitation to meet her. She lives in Malaysia so it should not be too difficult to arrange a meeting since it's a short flight and I don't need a visa to travel there. But since we both have work, our schedules need to be hammered out first. Anyway, she again did something unexpected. She apologized for not having a spare room at the place she is staying at for her work, but said I could stay at her house. Strange that she would think I would not want to stay at a hotel.Well as you are flying to meet her, I would be inclined to say she feels a bit bad about the expense (financially) you are going to in order to go and see her. I wouldn't read anything into it, I'd say it's par for the course among friends. When I visit friends (male or female) in Scotland, which is only a short hop on the train, they always offer to let me stay at their house to save paying for a hotel. I think it's just politeness, nothing more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aceluby Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I wish I could just meet someone organically, be friends, and maybe decide to date THEN!!! Sigh. Same boat here, I have always hated dating. All the girls I've dated I had known before, and I knew we were somewhat compatible already. Thinking about the possibility of dating again gives me anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Same boat here, I have always hated dating. All the girls I've dated I had known before, and I knew we were somewhat compatible already. Thinking about the possibility of dating again gives me anxiety.I refuse to use the Internet for dating. I need to be friends with a woman and achieve a certain level of comfort with her first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 yeah; I hate the idea of dating tbh; everytime i've tried to sign up to a dating site i always cancel it pretty soon after. it's just hard to find genuine friends and people you connect with but worth it i guess, for me, anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Got a pizza date for tomorrow (actual pizza) with my ex (the one who moved back to Florida earlier this year). Been a while since I've seen her, so I'm excited :P I've seen this photo before and I can't imagine forgetting it, let alone meeting you. That fucking jacket, I wants it so bad. And you know, you aren't exactly a forgettable figure. Hah, was gonna post the same thing. That jacket is awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glaurung Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Internet dating can be a great asset for people. Personally though, I tried it for a year before I met my wife. I met a lot of women on there. Once you sift through some not so great people and find some people you have something in common with. But the thing is, having something in common with a person doesn't mean you are going to have any kind of chemistry. That is the problem I had with online dating. Although I had more dates than I'd ever had before, it was unusual to have any kind of chemistry. You can't really tell if you're going to hit it off with somebody simply by a few emails, texts or even a phone conversation or two. Where as when I've met somebody organically, there is always much more success...because basically the whole reason why we agreed to go on a date is because we met spontaneously and decided we liked each other. In the end, I spent all that time and money going on all of these dates with little to show for it. Then I just walk into a bar alone an hour before closing time because I just want to grab one last beer before walking home. And some random woman who thinks I'm gay just starts talking my ear off. And the rest is history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Internet dating can be a great asset for people. Personally though, I tried it for a year before I met my wife. I met a lot of women on there. Once you sift through some not so great people and find some people you have something in common with. But the thing is, having something in common with a person doesn't mean you are going to have any kind of chemistry. That is the problem I had with online dating. Although I had more dates than I'd ever had before, it was unusual to have any kind of chemistry. You can't really tell if you're going to hit it off with somebody simply by a few emails, texts or even a phone conversation or two. Where as when I've met somebody organically, there is always much more success...because basically the whole reason why we agreed to go on a date is because we met spontaneously and decided we liked each other. In the end, I spent all that time and money going on all of these dates with little to show for it. Then I just walk into a bar alone an hour before closing time because I just want to grab one last beer before walking home. And some random woman who thinks I'm gay just starts talking my ear off. And the rest is history. Yeah see that's the thing: so much of who you are as a person is how you come off in real life, the way you talk, how you talk, how shy or confident you are. Your interests alone only tell so much about you. I've become pretty disillusioned with online dating, but then, there are still a lot of people who end up meeting on dating sites, so it keeps me hoping at least a little. Small update on that coworker of mine that I was interested in; found out last night that she herself has a history of being unfaithful and sleeping around, and with several male individuals who I can't say I have too high an opinion of. So I guess in that respect she and her current boyfriend are perfect for each other. Not gonna lie, really stung when I found out. I wanted to think that she was a good person and I thought I was being a friend to her, and it seemed like she thought I was special at least in some regard. Now I realize she just likes to sleep around. And now its back to the drawing board. *sighz* I wish I at least had someone to chase, someone to talk to and at least be hopeful about. Now I'm back to having no one. :( Lol so much for this being a good weekend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Yeah one of the guys I met online I had so so much in common with, we were PERFECT on paper, and then I met him and he annoyed the living shit out of me. I find him almost intolerable. So yeah. I really think there is at least some merit to that saying "opposites attract". Part of the a good relationship I feel like would be the fact that you bring out different qualities in each other. I mean theoretically you both should be two halves of one whole. If you're too similar to each other they all you do is mirror your flaws and all the things you don't like about yourself. I've met girls that are too much like me and there's just nothing fun about it. Too sarcastic, too awkward, and when we both get together its just...there's no chemistry. =/ I really do think you have to find someone that's different than you, at least in some respects. Ultimately, for all our laundry lists and requirements for what we'd want in an ideal partner, I don't think we really know exactly what it is we want until we see it. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Considering my long term social and political ambitions, I don't think I'd work out with any woman who was the total opposite of me. There are core personality traits, values and ambitions that an ideal long term mate of mines would have to have. It's nonnegotiable. But for most people, I do believe opposites attract. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Bucket the Voluminous Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Well yeah I'm not saying total opposites. But having some differences helps, like strengths balancing out weaknesses and stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I think I got a total of maybe 5 replies and 2 dates in about 6 months of online "dating" not worth the effort for me. I refuse to use the Internet for dating. I need to be friends with a woman and achieve a certain level of comfort with her first. yeah; I hate the idea of dating tbh; everytime i've tried to sign up to a dating site i always cancel it pretty soon after. it's just hard to find genuine friends and people you connect with but worth it i guess, for me, anyway This is pretty much where I'm at too. I've had some limited success with online dating but not enough to really be worth the continued effort. I find it such an uncomfortable, frustrating experience and it's very difficult to establish any real rapport or assess chemistry. Being able to see if you share interests or experiences in common is nice (when their profile is actually filled out) but it's a poor trade IMO compared to testing actual compatability in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Considering my long term social and political ambitions, I don't think I'd work out with any woman who was the total opposite of me. There are core personality traits, values and ambitions that an ideal long term mate of mines would have to have. It's nonnegotiable. But for most people, I do believe opposites attract.Totally this for me too. But given someone politically opposite me is likely to think I'm a freak and oppose my basic human rights, perhaps less surprising in my case.Also forgot to congratulate you on excellent taste, Pedro would convince me to give a man a chance, that man oozes sex.Ki apparently has excellent jacket taste.And online dating can be frustrating sure, but try finding women elsewhere as a freshly emerged lesbian at 30 who has zero ties to the community and is painfully introverted. I might be able to make moves once I meet someone, but the initial connection just isn't happening without luck otherwise. I just happened to have a lot of it with brook :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 yeah; I hate the idea of dating tbh; everytime i've tried to sign up to a dating site i always cancel it pretty soon after. it's just hard to find genuine friends and people you connect with but worth it i guess, for me, anyway Yep. I prefer to meet people that I happen to interact with going about my normal, everyday life. I don't like the idea of meeting in an artificial/forced situation, if that makes sense. Considering my long term social and political ambitions, I don't think I'd work out with any woman who was the total opposite of me. There are core personality traits, values and ambitions that an ideal long term mate of mines would have to have. It's nonnegotiable. But for most people, I do believe opposites attract.Similarity theory at work, hurrah! But yeah, I agree with you. There are certain core principles that for me at least I would need to share with someone to enter a LTR with them. Dont mind some differences, but nothing too major. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Considering my long term social and political ambitions, I don't think I'd work out with any woman who was the total opposite of me. There are core personality traits, values and ambitions that an ideal long term mate of mines would have to have. It's nonnegotiable. But for most people, I do believe opposites attract. What are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Internet dating can be a great asset for people. Personally though, I tried it for a year before I met my wife. I met a lot of women on there. Once you sift through some not so great people and find some people you have something in common with. But the thing is, having something in common with a person doesn't mean you are going to have any kind of chemistry. That is the problem I had with online dating. Although I had more dates than I'd ever had before, it was unusual to have any kind of chemistry. You can't really tell if you're going to hit it off with somebody simply by a few emails, texts or even a phone conversation or two. Where as when I've met somebody organically, there is always much more success...because basically the whole reason why we agreed to go on a date is because we met spontaneously and decided we liked each other. In the end, I spent all that time and money going on all of these dates with little to show for it. Then I just walk into a bar alone an hour before closing time because I just want to grab one last beer before walking home. And some random woman who thinks I'm gay just starts talking my ear off. And the rest is history. I've been pondering this. I'm doing the internet dating thing, and am talking with a guy that is promising, at least on paper. I'll have to meet him at some point and right now it just feels like work. There is nothing organic or spontaneous about this. I have tons of online friends that I met online, duh. But the friendships grew with time, and as a result of chance, or happenstance. I am not sure that the concept of online dating will work precisely because it takes the spontaneity that you describe out of the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Mandy, I don't think it would ever occur to me to ask a girl if she was, "being a tourist". I know I'd be totally confused if someone asked me that question. There are lots of lesbians out there that have no problem at all dating bi women. As I get older, I'm finally meeting the odd woman or two who doesn't mind the relatively low commitment level I am willing to offer right now. They are rare, really really rare. It's for that reason, rather than my Kinsey rank that I tend to date more men. Also there's just so damn many straight men. They're everywhere. I will say that I tend to have much more intense and intimate relationships with women than I do with men. If you can imagine comparing how close you are to another person to feeling like they really know and understand you completely, the closest I ever get to men is about 40% and that takes years and years of work. With women it can be as close as 85% and it's as easy as holding hands. That intensity can be overwhelming for me when I'm not in a position to commit a whole lot of time and energy to another person. Girl that I have a date with on July 1st works a lot, travels a lot and seems to be pretty patient. I'm cautiously optimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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