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Seventh Pup

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My little guy is a little over a year now, and next Monday he starts daycare, while I start my search for employment. This huge shift in our dynamic has me feeling really very reflective, and more and more I have been thinking about his birth, so I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else has a birth story they would like to share. (Birth of your child please, unless you remember you own in frightening detail).

 

Birth can be a lot of things all at once. It can be scary, exhilarating, frustrating, empowering, or traumatic. It's a very interesting, personal part of your life as a parent (if you adopted a child please feel free to share your own first meeting story if you wish); but not one that is discussed a lot.  

 

I do not intend this to be a debate thread, and I'd like us to just believe people when they share their experience. So if someone posts that "an epidural saved our marriage"; lets take that poster at their word, and not descend into a debate about their marriage and life choices, okay? Also if you feel like writing a snarky pro life/ pro choice post, just don't. If you don't want or have children, that is okay, but this is not the thread to talk about how much you don't want to have children, and or find them annoying. 

 

I will post my own story in a bit, but I wanted the OT to be more general, and with that let the sharing begin! 

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My wife went in for a routine checkup on a friday.  Approximately one month before her due date.  She went into the bathroom to get a urine sample, and her water broke on the toilet.  Her midwife took a look and said, "I can see hair.  You're 4-5 cm dilated.  YOU'RE HAVING YOUR BABY TODAY!".  My wife called me up and told me to meet her at the hospital.  I rushed there, and when I got there, she still wasn't feeling anything.  10 minutes later she's sweating and yelling that she's ready to push.  They didn't believe her, as it was far to fast and said, "YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR THE DR".  She said "NOW".  They put her legs up  and the Dr walked through just then.  3 pushes and less than 3 minutes later, our daughter was born!  It all happened so quick, I couldn't believe that I wasn't dreaming..

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My wife was overdue and huge. To my eyes she looked like a classic case of preeclampsia but her ob/gyn thought not. The ob/gyn predicted a baby weight of 7-8lbs. When labor finally started it was tough and stalled out. After 12 hours overnight, with no progress and blood pressure increasing scarily, an attending ob/gyn diagnosed eclampsia and rushed her for an emergency c-section. Our son was 10lbs 2oz and my wife was very weak. For the next three days she was on a toxic potassium drip to stave off a stroke. She stayed in hospital for four or five days and was still very weak and sick for another couple of weeks at home. She couldn't lift our son for a month.

And when she was being moved to the op theater, a hyperactive, flailing nurse (seriously looked like amphetamine use) started pulling out the epidural line. Another nurse and the attending ob/gyn literally pounced on her to stop her before it was out.

The whole ordeal was terrifying.
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Kid One: I have a congenital uterine malformation that makes conceiving and carrying to term difficult. As a result, I got the VIP treatment while pregnant and was pretty much scared sh!tless the entire time. One of the risks is pre-term labor. 5.5 weeks before my son was due I went for a routine appt. and told the midwife I wasn't feeling well. She initially dismissed me, saying that all 8-month pregnant women were uncomfortable, but checked me anyway. While her hand is in a very intimate part of my anatomy, she says "oh my, that's a contraction. Your water is bulging and I feel a tush." (Kid was breech) So off to the hospital I go. Apparently, the 34-35th week is critical for white male babies, as their lungs develop the slowest of other babies and 34 weeks is too late for steroids to speed their development. The best thing to do is to keep them cooking as long as possible. Hospital policy is to try to stop labor at any point before 35 weeks. Plus mine was breech so there was a concern of cord prolapse. I get admitted and pumped full of 1) fluids and 2) drugs to stop contractions of various increasing strength throughout the night. Drugs do not work, and by 6 am I am approx 6 cm dialated. Dr gets called at home and woken up. 7:01 am, Henzo is born via c-section. Ass backwards and screaming his head off.

Kid Two: Child measures small throughout pregnancy, and I am treated to ultrasounds first monthly, then every two weeks beginning at 32 weeks. I am having dinner after ultrasound at 36 weeks, and phone rings. It's OB/GYN. They have been comparing my ultrasound results and child's growth has been slowing. There was little growth between 32 and 34 weeks and none between 34 and 36. Could I please come in now for overnight observation? So off we go. I get hooked up to monitors and all is well. I get the fancy super high tech u/s the next morning and doctor decides that Child is no longer "thriving" in the womb and needs to be delivered She (also breech) is delivered via c-section later that day.

Apparently I really suck at baking babies.
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Kid 1:  Contractions start 5 AM Friday morning.  Wife has appointment anyway at 9.  Goes in, she is in labor, I went to work and the sent her home to labor there (where she cleans the entire house because she is so excited)  but come back at 4.  Arrive back at 4 and doctor accidentally breaks her water checking her progress.  Sends us home for a couple hours we come back and labor is really slow and painful from 7 at night to 2 Saturday morning.  Very stressful.  Not ready for an epidural because she never gets to 3 cm, then wham in a half an hour she wants to push bad.  They send for anesthesiologist and doctor about the same time.  When she finally gets to push it takes about four pushes and out pops Maximus.  Never got the epidural.

 

Kid 2:  Labor starts early morning (3 AM) again but this time she is further along and we drop off Max and stay at the hospital.  She is progressing normally minimal pain and gets an epidural.  We take naps and visit when awake.  I was really nervous after the stress of first delivery, but with the epidural this was wicked easy and relaxing.  Again only like 5 pushes at about 10 AM and out pops Briggs.

 

 

 

I don't know if the epidural had everything to do with the ease of the second delivery, but they were like night and day different as far as pain and difficulty are concerned.  The first delivery was kind of a weird progression not allowing for an epidural.  She went from about a dilation of 2 to having the kid in half an hour after being in labor for just about a day.  Both kids were within about a day of their delivery date and are 16 months apart.

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Kid 1: Driving home from a weekend trip to visit in-laws (we're at 30 weeks gestation at this time) Mrs. PotN's lower back starts to hurt pretty bad.  We don't think much of it because, you know, it's probably just being uncomfortable from the ride, being pregnant, etc.  So, I spend the last hour or so of the trip rubbing her back with my right hand while driving with my left ;)   When we arrive home, Mrs. PotN feels "wetness" down there and goes in the bathroom to check things out.  It's blood.  This is about 5 pm on a Sunday and right to the hospital we go.  Turns out it's placental abruption and our daughter is born via emergency c-section at about 7:30 pm.  She weighed 3 lbs. 5 oz., was 16.5 inches, and spent basically the first two and a half months of her life in the NICU but she's a happy, healthy 4th grader today who reads books like a starving beast devours food!

 

Kid 2: Mrs. PotN wanted to have a VBAC this time around and our OB/GYN said there was no reason why this would not be okay, odds of anything going wrong were pretty small, her health was good, etc.  So, we're waiting...and waiting...and waiting until 8 days after the due date Mrs. PotN decides to induce.  The baby was estimated to be about 8 lbs.  Everything's progressing very nicely - if everyhting continues this way baby should arrive in about 15 minutes.  There has been no epidural to this point.  Then, you guessed it, baby gets stuck.  Mrs. PotN then asks for the epidural and, of course, it's too late!  Well, true to her kind Mrs. PotN is tough as nails and, with some help from the Doc, mini-PotN comes into the world about an hour later weighing in at 9 lbs. 4 oz. and is 21.75 inches long (uh, they might wanna work on their baby size estimating in the future :)).

 

But wait!  That's not all.  Somethings wrong, the placenta's not coming out as it should.  Doc has to basically go in after it.  Of course, lightning has struck again and this time it's placenta acretta.  Separating the placenta from the uterus results in a rupture, of course, and Mrs. PotN is rushed off to surgery.  There is no saving the uterus (Doc tried for a couple of hours) and a partial hysterectomy is performed so she doesn't, you know, die (which the kids and I are pretty happy about).  So, no more children the natural way for us but I don't really feel like we would want to tempt fate any more like that anyway.  Besides, we got a girl and a boy and we still have Mrs. PotN so that's much more than enough.

 

As I've written here before, I've had a wildfire break containment and come roaring down on me and my crew like a freight train and I've been through other scary situations, too.  But the births of our two children were, by far, the most frightening experiences of my life (and, of course, the greatest as well).  The absolute worst times were sitting alone somewhere and not really knowing how things were going to turn out for us.  Blech!  But we were extremely fortunate and things worked out wonderfully!      

 

Congratulations to parents everywhere!  I know it's always an adventure and whenever you're exasperated beyond description with your little one(s) just say to yourself "Welcome to parenthood!" and smile.

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I haven't told this story anywhere else and we are totally minimising it while technically telling the truth.

Measured reasonably large all through my pregnancy. 2 days before my due date we went for a routine appointment. The previous week the obs said if I hadn't gone he would sweep the membranes, and so he did. There was a bit of effacement and 2cms dilated. He said he was pretty sure I'd be holding baba in a week. I'd been having cramps and pain for about a week and the obs told me to expect a bit of blood and worse cramps due to the sweep.

Went home and as I was wrecked, went for a nap. When I got up, there was a little blood alright and some cramps but nothing exceptional. The afternoon and evening progress and I was uncomfortable but very manageable. Bounced on my yoga ball. Watched the internment of Richard III. Cameron Miliband debate was on so watched that. Took two paracetamol.

Off to bed at 10:30 and really uncomfortable and restless but nothing regular so still thought it was due to the sweep. I couldn't lay down quietly though so took myself and kindle off to the bathroom, saying on my way out I don't think I'm in labour yet but I think it will be soon. There was pain, but nothing too bad. Horrible period like but again not regular. One could come a minute after the other but then there would be a five minute interval, then two, then four. At about 11:30 I go into the bedroom (stark naked) and tell the OH that I think we need to call a taxi. I return to the bathroom. While there my waters break. After about half an hour I go back and ask where the cab is. The OH says as I hadn't been dressed he hadn't called it yet. (I have never came so close to screaming and or hitting him). I tell him to call now. I dress and we wait. The pains are reasonably intense but manageable. Taxi eventually gets there and we head off to the hospital. We hit every single red light on the way and I'm not thrilled by the route the taxi driver chooses, given he goes down a road with bloody speed bumps!

Finally pull up outside the hospital. Get out. Really bad pain. Can't move for a minute or so. Get into the foyer and call the porter. He tells us where to go, another pain and I stop for 30 seconds or so. Up to the third floor and the admittance area. I gasp out "baby". The nurse person and OH nod and say yes, the baby is coming. I say "no! baby! baby, now!" And turn and lean into the wall. The admittance person runs for a midwife. I try to breathe through it. Midwife comes. The head is crowning. She tells me to crouch down so I sort of controlled fall down to all fours. Push again. Head is out, and again and the baby is out. The midwife puts the baby in my arms and another comes with a wheel chair. I'm taken from the hall into a delivery room and the baba is weighed etc and I pass the placenta. I don't honestly remember much of the last of the evening, or the hour immediately afterwards. I remember being in awe of this little person and her fuzzy ears, and swishy face and bright bruised blue eyes.

So yeah, gave birth in the hall, and about five / seven minutes from a taxi. Moral of the story. Not all contractions are regular, it may not hurt "all that much" and despite what you're told it's not always best to stay at home as long as you can.

I say that it was a very quick labour and I had the baby within half an hour of getting to the hospital.
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I've delivered three times, the first two were odd, but not too bad.

 

First one:  Thanksgiving Day, I start feeling these odd tightenings, nbd, but I'm not due until January 7th.  call the Doctor, he says let me know if they get worse.  They didn't, so went about the days festivities.  Dr. calls me Friday morning and says where are you?  Ummm, what do you mean?  He says I told you to go to the hospital.  Umm no you didn't.  He says get there.  I go in, they determine I'm at 4 cms, put me on the muscle relaxers. I manage to go until Saturday evening when my water breaks - about 9pm.  They give me the epidural before the muscle relaxers wear off, my son was born at 11:52pm, absolutely a pain free birth.  Nice.  (Child was a bit small, but ok)

 

Second one:  Week 38, my first day off work.  Wake up, go to the bathroom, and my mucus plug goes.  I call the dr, he says nbd, that can happen up to two weeks before labor starts.  How do you feel?   Fine, no contractions, but I feel a lot of pressure.  I had an appt that day around lunchtime.  He says just come in to the appt unless you start getting contractions.  ok.   I go to the appt, all is good, baby's fine, no contractions, but I still feel funny.  I ask him to do an internal, he says no we will do that at your next week check-up.  I ask him to please do it.  He rolls his eyes at me, and checks me internally.  He then tells me I am 7 cms, please go straight to the hospital.  I'm not stupid, I know they won't feed me, beside I needed to shave my legs, so I go home first, (hubby is freaking out because I took a shower, shaved, ate a sandwich etc he literally stood at the door yelling to lets go as I was eating my sandwich)  We finally get to the hospital, I'm still 7 cms, still no labor pains.  They give me an epidural, still no labor pains,  Couple hours later they give me pitocin, but I've got my epidural.  Second son was born 8:47 pm, again another pain free birth.   

 

I'd delivered two children and never felt a labor pain, who knew labor was this easy?

 

Third child:  Day after Thanksgiving, both my boys were sleeping over their grandma's house.  Hubby and I decide to get some Christmas shopping done that night, as I was due in mid December.  Go to bed that night, wake up about 2am, bed is soaking wet.  The amount of water coming out of me was amazing.  Call Dr. Go to hospital.  Nurse checks me, says my water didn't break, I must have peed myself.  I argue saying no ones bladder is that big, my mattress was soaked.  I'm starting to get contractions, and lets just say I'm not happy.  Third kid, but the first time I have ever felt a contraction.  Nurse tries to send me home, it's about 3am at this point. I refuse to leave, as I know I'm in labor.  Nurse and I argue and I demand to see a doctor.  She refuses to get a doctor.  At that point I think about heading down to the lobby of the hospital and giving birth right there in the lobby, but I don't because these contractions HURT and I want an epidural.  Finally on call Dr comes in and I beg her to check me for dilation.  She does, I'm 6 cms.  I then make my biggest mistake, I look at the nurse and said I told you!  Bad mistake.

 

I get moved to L&D room, on call Dr (who was a complete utter idiot) still is insisting my water didn't break.  and they will call my dr in a little bit.  I ask for an epidural.  Anesthesiologist shows up and tells me the intern guy was going to perform it.  Great.   He screws it up, because I'm not feeling any relief and he keeps telling me I'm not feeling any pain, I'm only feeling pressure.  I tell him exactly what I think of him. Big mistake Number 2.  My Dr. finally shows up.  He says he is going to break my water.  Whatever.  He goes in with that little hook thing and then looks at on call Dr and proceeds to scold her in front of everyone because they couldn't even tell my water had already broken.  I'm yelling cause the contractions are horrible.  I ask them to redo the epidural, they tell me I'm not in pain, I'm just feeling pressure.  I inform them that if they touch me I will kill them.  They discover the baby is upside down, commonly called back labor.  Lovely.  I again beg for any type of medication, they again tell me I'm not in pain.  I literally start begging them to kill me and I meant it.  They tell me it's time to push I say no.  They tell me I have to, I reply not until you give me something for the pain.  They then again tell me I'm not in pain, its just pressure.  Finally I push, and of course, I tear a little bit, baby comes out, he's fine.  Doctor stiches me up, I say hey that hurts, he replies with you can't feel that you had an epidural.  I'm at this point ready to kill him.  Afterwards, the nurse anesthesiologist comes in to remove the catheder from my back, and she asks did you feel any pain?  I say yes, the epidural didn't work.  She says she was surprised as they completely "overshot the epidural space"     Yep was just feeling pressure.

 

Whole thing took about 4 hours, my third son was born at 5:52am.

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I was just starting my 37th week of pregnancy when I had a routine midwife appointment. I'd just developed that lovely waddle, and my feet had swelled up so much I could only fit into big, clumpy boots despite the unseasonably warm weather we were having. I bet my midwife I would go early, but she laughed and assured me that the baby wasn't even engaged, so not to get my hopes up. That evening I went to my antenatal class which was all about pain relief, then went home to bed. The next morning I woke for my usual 4am wee, and during the struggle to get upright, felt a trickle down my legs. I was so annoyed that I'd reached the stage where I pissed myself, that I got all the way to the bathroom before I realised that my waters had gone. I called the hospital who told me to come straight in, and no, I could not go back to bed until a more reasonable hour, but I could take a shower. By 6 am I was hooked up to the trace machine, by 7 am and a tidal wave of waters it was confirmed that they definitely had gone, and I was to return at 7 am the next day for induction. I then went to macdonalds for breakfast, with an expanding dark circle in my joggers, because the advantage of living in a scummy town, is that you can get away with that sort of behaviour.

The next morning I woke for my 4am wee, with terrible tummy ache. Convinced I had a UTI and wouldn't be able to be induced, I took a shower and realised labour had started because I suddenly couldn't move for pain. I managed to get up, throw the phone at my OH to tell the hospital we were on our way, and pull on a nighty so I could get to the car.

When we got there, a chavvy woman having a 5am smoke, laughed at my moaning, but I made it all the way to the lifts before I felt well enough to want to go and smack her. I got to the ward and was quite horrible to the midwife on duty, telling her it should not hurt this much because I was told in class it hurts more when you lie down, berating her for giving me paracetamol etc. I think I annoyed her so much, she offered me a water birth to be rid of me! Half an hour and some gas and air later, she led me to the pool while I apologised profusely and told her I love her (gas and air is the best invention ever)

I slipped into the pool, and everything felt better, the pressure was off my stomach, I had a whole cannister of gas and air, and had the radio blasting while I sang my head off. I even waved to the workmen on the roof through my open window, which probably deeply traumatised them. My mum turned up around 9am, my OH took a walk and suddenly I needed to push. I told the midwife I would have the baby with time to spare to catch a macdonalds breakfast, she bet me I wouldn't. My OH arrived back just in time to see my boy's head come out, looking right at me. One more push and he was out and rooting for a boob as soon as he hit fresh air. He was born at 10.18am, but I didn't get my mackies.

An hour later, as I lay on a bed next to the pool, by the light of a small disco ball, my OH ran screaming from the room as my mum, the midwife and I poked and prodded the placenta, which looked like a bag of frozen red wine tied up with a hose pipe.

Nearly three years on, if my son wakes in the night, first for a feed, and more recently for a wee or a cuddle, it's always at 4am.

ETA I was supposed to be in work that day, but ringing in at 9am to say 'can't come to work today, I'm in labour' has to be one of my favourite phone calls ever.
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The birth of our children was uneventful medically but still otherwise amazing for me.

I see Mashiara hasn't posted so I'll do it even though many of you got a play-by-play four years ago.  She was pregnant with twins and was getting regular check-ups and I was at the ob/gyn's office for a prescription on a Monday (34 weeks + 3 days) and the nurse confided in me that it would be that week.  Obviously I 'forgot' about that prior to returning home as M. was fighting for every day.  She was scheduled for an ultra-scan on Wednesday at the maternity hospital and had been experiencing mild contractions through the night.  About a half an hour after she went in the nurse from Monday came out to tell me that I'd be a father that day.  Here in Greece fathers aren't allowed in during a C-section so I was left in the waiting area to notify family members and I awaited their arrival.  They were delivered at 12:14 and 12:15 officially but I didn't get to see them until just after 1:00.

When we were finally allowed to see them her family rushed in and, being Greek, crowded around the cart in an impenetrably tight knot.  I actually had to say, "Hey, you mind if the father gets a chance to see them?"  They were 2.1 kg/4.62 lbs and 1.9 kg/4.19 lbs respectively.  They were tiny and bawling and I put my head down near them and started talking to them and then began singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' as I did to them prior to their birth.  They both stopped crying immediately and that's right when I started crying.

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I will let you know in about 3 to 4 weeks!

I nearly booked for an elective section because I am horrified at the idea of giving birth (it's not the pain I dread) but I am coming around to the idea of natural. I never intended to have children so it was never going to be an issue, but my husband wants one, so now it is. The things I do for love.

Thank you for this thread. I can't go on sites like Mumsnet etc. I just can't. So keep the stories coming!
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 They were tiny and bawling and I put my head down near them and started talking to them and then began singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' as I did to them prior to their birth.  They both stopped crying immediately and that's right when I started crying.


Awww! When Delia was born, they wrapped her up and handed her to P, not me, as I was getting stitched up. I will never forget the look on his face as he's standing there in the Operating Room, in his scrubs, looking down at this precious tiny little baby with complete awe and wonder. She's had him wrapped around her finger ever since.
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With our first, Mrs Ix was doing well with the pregnancy and she worked up to the last minute.  She was "due" to deliver on a Tuesday and she worked up to the Friday before hand.  No issues, no problems, she felt great.  I went to work on the Monday and worked all day.  She started having contractions that morning, shortly after I left and they very slowly increased.  I got home from work and Surprise!  I was far more worked up than she, but she wisely elected to wait until things progressed further before heading to the hospital.  Her own OB/GYN was on call that night so all was good.  I took the dogs into the boarding facilty and came home.  

 

Later that night the contractions continued and she finally decided we were going to head in.  I guess she maybe waited a bit too long, since by the time we got to the hospital, her contractions were  about 60-90 seconds apart and she couldn't walk on her own.  We get rolled into the birthing room and the contractions were brutal, one on top of the other and she was in a very significant amount of pain.  They gave her morphine, which only made her loopy but did nothing to blunt the severe discomfort of the contractions.  She wasn't dilated enough to start pushing so they broke her membranes and she asked for an epidural.  

 

She was so worked up, strung out, and in pain that her body didn't relax.  The epidural was truly a wondrous gift.  Seconds after the first injection, she totally relaxed.  It was bizarre.  She immediately fell asleep and would wake up mildly with each contraction.  With that relaxation, she dilated quickly over the next hour.  After being able to rest, she awoke as was totally ready.   At about 1am they told her to start pushing and that was it.  Crazy moment, both of us holding our newborne, and I was bawling louder and longer than anyone else.  I never thought it would be that emotional for me (I didn't do anything during the whole event, other than bring in ice chips).     

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With our second, things went a bit different.  The pregnancy went well but the last week Mrs Ix developed severe sciatic impingement from the pregnancy.  It was for real -- one day she screamed in pain and could not get up, as it felt there was a knife in her.  It was continuous pain from that point.  Her doctor decided that she needed to be induced, since she was beyond her due date and the fetus was ready.  She did not want to be induced and fought it.  It was pretty cool, actually.  Her OB/gyn is a family friend and a good client at our clinic.  I think he started the talk with "Look, I've trusted you for years with the care of my dogs now you will fucking trust me about the care of your baby.  You are in severe pain and I will take that away from you."  Yeah, she was scheduled to induce the next day.   

 

We go in and she starts the medications.  Not much happens.  It was pretty boring.  At around lunch time, she sends me off to the cafeteria to get some lunch.  All is good and boring until I get back from lunch.  She went from nothing to stuff just got real in the time it took me to get back.  I get directed immediately to her side.  The nurse in charge asks if it would be OK for a crew of nursing students to be present for the birth.  Mrs Ix shrugs "whatever" but the contractions are taking all her attention.  She is crushing my hand, getting slammed by the contractions, and says she wants an epidural.  The nurse looks at me and says there isn't time.  I tell her that isn't going to happen and I get worse look I've ever earned from my wife.  She tells me she needs it, I tell her she doesn't get it, the MD tells her to push, and say something absolutely worthless, like "breathe sweetie!" or something.

 

Our next child enters the world, quickly, and I don't know how I didn't have broken fingers from her wrenching my hand.  I start bawling, again, and they place our son on her chest.  I'm not sure how much later I look up and see a cavalcade of nursing students crowded in the room, looking at the spectacle of us having our second child.  Strangely enough, it didn't feel weird at all.  Each one of those students thanked us for allowing them to watch and they visited us regularly until discharge.  

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The birth of our children was uneventful medically but still otherwise amazing for me.

I see Mashiara hasn't posted so I'll do it even though many of you got a play-by-play four years ago.  She was pregnant with twins and was getting regular check-ups and I was at the ob/gyn's office for a prescription on a Monday (34 weeks + 3 days) and the nurse confided in me that it would be that week.  Obviously I 'forgot' about that prior to returning home as M. was fighting for every day.  She was scheduled for an ultra-scan on Wednesday at the maternity hospital and had been experiencing mild contractions through the night.  About a half an hour after she went in the nurse from Monday came out to tell me that I'd be a father that day.  Here in Greece fathers aren't allowed in during a C-section so I was left in the waiting area to notify family members and I awaited their arrival.  They were delivered at 12:14 and 12:15 officially but I didn't get to see them until just after 1:00.

When we were finally allowed to see them her family rushed in and, being Greek, crowded around the cart in an impenetrably tight knot.  I actually had to say, "Hey, you mind if the father gets a chance to see them?"  They were 2.1 kg/4.62 lbs and 1.9 kg/4.19 lbs respectively.  They were tiny and bawling and I put my head down near them and started talking to them and then began singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' as I did to them prior to their birth.  They both stopped crying immediately and that's right when I started crying.

 

DalThor told me he posted this and I figured I should add a couple of details that he has forgotten, since I was experiencing the thing first hand. I was 34weeks 3 days along and I was hoping to make it to 36 weeks but I knew it was going to be hard, since I was having mild contractions since the 23th week or so, and I was on ever increasing doses of medication for them. I was having Non Stress Tests two times a week and that's what I was scheduled for that day, not an ultrasound. I woke up really early with what felt like bad period pains and I knew they were contractions, but managed to persuade myself that it wasn't THE day. I even gave myself my heparin shot, even though I had been told not to do so on the day I was to give birth. I was in complete denial I think, even though I was timing the contractions and they went from 15 minutes apart to almost 9 minutes apart by the time we got to the hospital for my appointment. We didn't get my bag or anything, we just pretended it wasn't happening. It was too early, damn it. One of the nurses noticed me in pain while I was waiting to be hooked up to the machine and pretty soon it was evident that I was giving birth that day, whether I wanted it or not.

 

I kept telling them it was too soon, but they laughed. They did some blood tests and contacted my hematologist to see if my having taken the heparin affected things. Originally I was told that because of that I'd have to have full anesthesia instead of being awake during the C-section but they delayed the procedure 2-3 hours while I was in labor (at least I got to experience that) and they finally got the OK from the blood specialist to go with an epidural. I was glad I was awake for my C-section. The doctors kept making jokes and then they pulled Miltos out -and that cry was the best sound I've ever heard. Then they went for Alex who was stuck almost against my diaphragm and I could feel them trying to shake him free and my whole belly moving -weird, what memories one retains. His cry was also the most wonderful sound. They put them both on my chest and they both stopped crying, just like that. I was crying and I kissed them -and then they took them away to their incubators. That was shortly after noon.

 

I didn't get to see them until 6 that evening, when visiting hours for the NICU were. DalThor wheeled me in cause I couldn't walk yet. Visiting hours here for NICU are very cruel -half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening, just that, lots of parents lining up to suit up for those precious 30 minutes. Miltos only stayed there for a day, Alex 15 days, and we'd make the trip twice a day to see him and touch him and hold him for just a little.

 

So that's it, my birth story. The boys turned 4 last month. I tell them a version of this story at times and they love hearing it, they keep asking for it again and again, and asking to see my scar and to point out exactly where each of them was in my belly.  :)

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I dove myself to the hospital. I could feel contractions every 15 minutes, but when the nurse hooked me up to the monitor, it was about 5 minutes apart. They said had I waited until I felt 5 minutes apart, I'd be having the baby in the hallway...
...so, yes, trust your body and yourself, and not an artificial timetable.
Pumpkin was 9 and a half pounds.
He went to college just last week.


Great! Now you tell me! Hallway babies aren't fun folks, if in doubt, go to the hospital.
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So many powerful stories, and now to finally add my own. Warning very long post ahead! 

 

I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, but did have a few issues. Early in the pregnancy I had two miscarriage scares, but they where nothing, my baby was fine. Then at about the half way point when we went in for the anatomy ultrasound, they discovered I had complete placenta previa. This meant the placenta was over my cervix. They told me if it didn't move I would need to have a C- Section.  Mentally I tried to prepare for that. Then at 34 weeks when they rechecked me, the placenta had move, and I was cleared for a normal vaginal birth, I start doing anything I can to try to stretch the birth area as I am terrified of tearing. 

 

Flash forward, my little guy was 11 days late. I did not want to be induced, but I did want to have him NOW. I had my membrane scrapped 3 times, and finally started acupuncture. I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions since about 7.5 months. They didn't really hurt, I would just see my stomach go tight, and feel some pressure. By 9 months the Braxton Hicks where stronger and had a little bit of pain, but nothing terrible.

 

Flash forward to the day I go into labor. The midwife I see is an older very experienced midwife. She tells me I need to schedule an induction. I tell her no, I don't want to as the baby and I are both healthy. She tells me if I don't I have to find care else where. I finally schedule for as far out as I can. (This was a Thursday, I scheduled for Tuesday Morning). I'd had acupuncture earlier in the day, and then the older Midwife did a membrane scrap. Let me tell you that she really scrapped me, the two other's I'd had felt not much different from check ups but this one, holy shit, I am kind of surprised she didn't break my water.

 

That night after dinner we take our dog for a walk, as my acupuncturist had suggested; it's about 9pm.  As we walk my husband notices that my Braxton-Hicks are coming in regular intervals. The contractions still don't hurt that bad, but they are regular about 7 minutes apart. I want to keep walking because I don't want it to stop, I am so ready to have this child. 

 

We walk about 3 miles, it's dark and the dog is tired by the time we get home, I think it's around 1030 at this point. I'm still excited however and I want to walk more. We drop the dog off and start walking again. But we only get a few blocks before the contractions start to change and get more painful. We go home. The contraction are now painful, but not that much worse then bad period cramps. We call the hospital and talk to a midwife student who says to stay home and get some sleep until the contractions are very painful and less then 5 minutes apart. I can't sleep. I take a bath, which helps a little but not much. The pain starts to get very intense, and I don't feel like it ever really stops. I want to kill my husband for asking me " is another contraction starting". At about midnight we call the hospital again, talk to the student again, and told it's okay to come in for a check.

 

I get there at about 1am, I'm at 4cm. The pain is now so intense I feel like I am loosing my mind. It literally feels like some one is cutting my belly open with a hot knife, and the pressure on my back is so sever I think my back is going to break. They keep having the student check me, and despite the bath (the reason we chose this hospital) being open it takes them almost 2 hours before they get it ready for me. My contractions are very long and intense. I think a normal contraction is supposed to last 30 seconds, mine where lasting 2 minutes. I felt like as soon as one stopped another would start again. I still don't get an epidural because I am scared of having a needle in my back. However after they finally get the bath ready for me, and it doesn't help I have reached my breaking point and ask for an epidural. I have also been awake for almost 24 hours at this point, as I had not slept well the night before. 

 

It takes almost an hour to get the epidural. I remember they made me sign something before they would give it to me, I remember thinking I didn't care if I just signed over my house, just make the pain stop!

 

The moment the epidural is given I feel relief and tiredness sweep over me. I feel sleep weighing down on me like a ton of bricks. I still feel everything, but in a much less intense way.  Before I try to go to sleep though I tell my husband that if he wants to go get the food from the car, now might be a good time to do it as I am going to sleep for a while.

 

As soon as he leaves the room the nurse rushes in with another nurse. She points to the printed reading and says in a very stressed out voice "THAT THE BABY'S HEART RATE!" With in moments the real midwife is at my side, she tells me they are taking me down for an emergency c-section. They can't wait for my husband to get back from the car, the baby is crashing.

 

All of this happens with less then 5 minutes of starting the epidural.

 

They put the sides of the bed up, put me on oxygen, and run me to the OR. While I am in the elevator I look at the midwife and say "I can still feel my legs, please don't cut me open." She looks at me and says "We will put you under when we get to the OR".

 

I am now totally alone. There is going to be no one there to welcome my son into the world. I feel like the world is ending, my husband is going to miss the birth of his child because I was selfish and wanted an epidural, and then was stupid and sent him for food. 

 

My parents are also at the hospital,so I look around the OR and ask the room at large if someone can go get my mother. No one responds. I ask again, and no one is paying attention to me. A nurse puts a new oxygen mask on me and unhelpfully tells me to "relax", I think I am hyperventilating.  

 

A fully gowned and masked doctor enters, and at the foot of the bed tells me his name. I don't hear it, and I won't find out what his name is until I get the bill many weeks later. 

 

There is so much sound and activity. Everyone is talking over me, and honestly in a weird way I don't feel like I am even there, I feel like a piece of meat that is about to be cut up. Finally my husband appears out of nowhere. He's gowned up too. I cry, when I see him. I tell him how sorry I am that I got the epidural, and put us through this. The midwife student who up until this point had been our main provider hears me tell my husband this, and says "Don't blame yourself, we don't know it was the epidural, we don't know why these things happen." 

 

The completely gowned and masked doctor comes back up and talks to my husband and me. He says that since they have been in the OR my son's heart rate has come back up and is steady. They will let me go back up and labor normally, but if my son's heart rate drops again they will do a c-section no matter what.  He then says "This isn't baseball, it's not three strikes your out. Next strike we operate." I have never hated a man more, then I did in that second; the last thing I needed in the moment was a baseball metaphor. 

 

Back in the room I am hooked up to a bout a million monitors. The epidural has mostly worn off but I will not push bottom for more medication, because I am convinced that's what cause my son's heart issues. They place an internal monitor on my son's head. The midwife student tries 4 times, the midwife twice, and finally the doctor gets it on his second try. I am never asked if I am okay with a student doing this procedure, and I feel every attempt. By this point I've kind of just accepted that I am a training tool for these people.

 

After the monitor is placed I try to sleep. But the nurse comes in again. My babies heart rate has dropped again, but not to the point where they need to do a c-section. It falls with in the normal range of drops but to be safe they are going to re position me for optimal position for the baby. This happens about 5 more times. Finally I am left alone for about 5 minutes. I close my eyes and am instantly asleep. 

 

It feels like I just closed my eyes, but my husband tells me it was about 10 minutes. When I open them again the room is full of people. Machines are being wheeled it, every alarm possible is going off. The doctor appears again. He yells at me "How much weight did you gain during pregnancy?!"  I stutter that I gained about 20 pounds. "Good" is all he says.

 

The midwife tells me that I am fully dilated and the baby is in the birth canal but he's heart rate is dropping. 

 

The doctor yells at me " You can either have a c-section or a vacuum. But we need to get him out now, a vacuum is quicker."

 

I feel like I have been slapped. Less then a minute ago I was asleep. I ask if I can try to push him out? The doctor says "You got an epidural, it can take 3 hours to push out a baby after an epidural. We don't have three hours."

 

I say "Vacuum". Instantly stirrups spring up and my legs are put in them.The doctor disappears down in to the yellow circus that is going on between my legs. I feel the pressure of my son, and I feel the doctor put his hand inside me. "Push" He yells as he pulls. I do. "Push" yells again as he pulls again, and again I do. "Push" and he pulls. Then the doctors yells out "I'm cutting her" and does an episiotomy; He then pulls my son out of me, and I feel myself tear.  My son is screaming, and is placed on my chest. I feel so disconnected from everything that just happened I don't fully process that my baby has just been born. 

 

Now that he's born, no one seems very interested or concerned about him.  He has a mess of dark hair, just like I'd pictured him having. "I know him, that's my baby!" I think. I was admitted to the hospital at 1am and delivered Ivan at 6:30am. I went from 4cm to 10cm in 5.5 hours, which is pretty darn fast. 

 

I hold my baby, and the doctor takes two hours to stitch me up. I am now hitting the epidural pain button like it's going out of style. I can feel them sewing me up, but the epidural does take the worst of the pain off. Apparently I have one of the worst most complete tears the nurse has ever seen. The holy and the profane where one, and it took two hours of intense work by a surgeon to separate them again. I have also lost a lot of blood, so I am about has lily white as a ghost.

 

I cry a lot. I feel like this is the most violent, dehumanizing thing I have ever gone through. 

 

Neither the midwife, nor the doctor comes to check on me after I deliver.

 

With in 6 days of giving birth I will also need to put my dog down. These two events will forever be linked in my mind the birth of my baby, and the death of my best friend. It was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. In the following months, I would suffer from a mild form of PTSD. I will go to counselor a few times, who will basically tell me that "time heals all wounds". 

 

They don't know for sure what caused my son's heart rate to drop, but they told me it was probably linked to the epidural. His drop in heart rate started exactly when the epidural did, and there is likely some kind of causation there. 

 

I still feel so many conflicting emotions toward the doctor who delivered my son. I am so thankful that he got him out safe, but I don't think he treated me with very much kindness or respect; both of which would have gone a long way in the moment. 

 

I feel conflicted on if I should tell my son this story or not. On one hand it's nice to know the story of your birth, on the other it was a terrible experience for me. That said it was worth it. Every day I look at my son and I think I would do it again, a thousand times, to have you in my life. I think we will probably have one more child, but next time I may look into a planned c-section, or a home birth, but I don't want to have that experience again.

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Seventh Pup- Birth trauma is awful and very very real. I'm so sorry you experienced that. The abuse and dehumanization that some medical staff give to mothers is awful. I experienced birth trauma with my first and am so glad I was able to finally heal from it (10 years later) by having my second birth experience be a good one.

 

I love reading all these stories. Birth is amazing!

 

Kid No 1. I was 16 years old, underweight and considered an at risk pregnancy in the beginning. I not only carried her full term but gained a ton of weight to make up for my low BMI. I finally went into labour by being woken up by a strong contraction at 5:30 in the morning the day before I was scheduled to induce. I was a good little student and timed my contractions as I had been taught in my prenatal classes. At 7:30 I calmly went to wake up my parents to tell them it was time. My mom flew out of bed and got ready to go as I called my baby's father and arranged to pick him up on the way (we each lived with our parents).

 

My mom drove bf and I to the hospital as the contractions increased in pain (dad and little sis followed a bit later). I honestly don't remember much from the labouring part, just lots of pain, getting irritated with anyone trying to coach me through breathing and that I threw a cloth at my dad. I do remember being poked and prodded at a lot and that they wouldn't let me eat or move around. They kept wanting me back in the bed.

 

Eventually they had to break my waters. which turned out to be a good choice because baby had released her meconium. At one point they wanted to give me an epidural to calm me down but I screamed at them to keep the needle away from me ( I was determined to have as natural a birth as possible) When it was finally time things were going fine at first, but then little one would not progress past the crowning phase (I clearly remember asking what colour hair baby had!) and doc wanted gave me an episiotomy.

 

Baby was finally born at 7:38pm and they whisked the little one away before I really got a good look at her (I had to ask what gender she was!). The rest was very blurry from here and even my mom is unclear exactly where things went wrong. Somewhere between the episiotomy and the delivery of the placenta I started hemorrhaging blood very very badly. I remember feeling excruciating pain, I think the doc maybe was scraping out the placenta? And when he went to stitch the cut I was screaming bloody murder because I could feel everything, he hadn't waited for the freezing to happen.I don't really know what else happened as I continually gained and lost consciousness through all this. It was 9:40pm when I came to and had been stabilized and was finally, finally able to hold my daughter. I gazed into her hazy little eyes and was so in love with her it was crazy. I went into that hospital a 16 year old child and became a woman and a mother.

 

I didn't know how much had gone wrong until I realized I wasn't being released from the hospital as quickly as normal. I had to have two units of blood transfused to replace what I had lost and was in the hospital almost a week. To this day I don't know what happened or why and that scares me. I had tons of stitches from the episiotomy and my recovery was very slow and painful. I was on iron pills for months afterward and still have issues with iron deficiency from time to time.

 

Kid 2. 10 years later I was married (not to first child's dad) and took a much more proactive, firm hold over my pregnancy and my birth. I had a midwife for care and opted for a home birth. Best decision I ever made! Everything was consulted with me from what tests to take to interventions to birth plans. Even whether I wanted to know my weight gain or not ( I did NOT!)

 

I was 10 days overdue with my son. but was determined to keep going as long as we were both healthy without intervention, which my midwife supported. Don't get me wrong though, I was sooooo ready for him to be out. I would wake up crying in the mornings because I was still pregnant! My first experience had so put me off western medicine and interventions of any kind unless for a dire emergency.

 

The morning of, my midwife came by (to my house) to do a sweep and man it was a deep one. I then went about my day. It worked out that my parents were visiting (I had moved 6 hour drive away after college) and we were all hanging out at the beach. I started to just feel off and insisted my husband took me home, That was around 2:30pm. I started having some contractions and started tracking them on my app (welcome to 2014). By 6pm I felt like "ok this is it for sure". I called my midwife and she said "ok track them one more hour and then call me back". At seven I was feeling much more intense pain so I texted her. She came by and checked me out and said, "ok you are only 4cms so we have two choices. I can go back home and let you progress as you have been, or I can break your waters and really get this going." I looked at her and said "You are not leaving."

 

So, she broke my waters and then the party got into full swing. While the pain was just as excruciating as the first time (I am very lucky to get both regular and back labour at the same time) the overall atmosphere and experience was night and day from my first birth. I was labouring in my bedroom with soft music and candles. My husband was beside me, massaging me through contractions and cuddling in between them.  I was able to snack, drink, move, walk, bend and bounce on my exercise ball to my heart's content. My midwife said if it feels good for mom its probably helping things along.

 

When I was close to 10 cm we went down to the living room where the birth tub was set up and the water felt so glorious. All the pressure on my belly relieved. Hubs got in with me and continued to massage out my back labour so I could focus on the main show. Things were going great and my midwife (who not only was my freaking spirit animal but was like a super experienced Mary Poppins) was happy until my son got stuck in my pelvis and his hear rate started to drop. After the second contraction (they were almost on top of each other at this point) his heart rate wasn't improving so she said "that its, we gotta get you up". Hubs and her lifted me out of the tub and onto the couch so she could get a better look, The whole thing was probably only 2 mins but it was so scary! She was very relieved after that, she said that me moving had got him unstuck and his heart rate was normal again. I was so close to having him but same thing was happening as it did with my daughter. I just couldn't get him to get past crowning. My midwife tried helping me stretch but I just couldn't push hard enough to fit his noggin out. Finally she asked if I wanted an episiotomy. I said yes. I was exhausted and wanted him out. She did a neat little cut and mins later I did one push and out he came.

 

She put him right on my chest and as I held my little boy I was crying and saying "my baby, my baby". I was able to latch him then and there. He didn't cry at all until the midwife took him briefly to weigh him and do all his checks. As soon as he was back in my arms or his dad's he was happy.

 

After the midwife and her assistant finished cleaning up I was able to take my baby and with the help of my husband go up to our bedroom and sleep in our own comfy bed all together.

I only had four small stitches with this episiotomy and recovered very quickly. It helped that my midwife did 4 follow up checks right in my home. At my 6 week post natal appointment (my last one with her), I cried because I didn't want to stop seeing her. I still wish she could handle my care and my sons.

 

Overall my home birth was an amazing experience. If we decide for another I will definitely do it again with my awesome midwife!

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I will let you know in about 3 to 4 weeks!

I nearly booked for an elective section because I am horrified at the idea of giving birth (it's not the pain I dread) but I am coming around to the idea of natural. I never intended to have children so it was never going to be an issue, but my husband wants one, so now it is. The things I do for love.

Thank you for this thread. I can't go on sites like Mumsnet etc. I just can't. So keep the stories coming!

 

I've had one of each (well, emergency C-section and one natural). Used to be scared witless regarding natural birth but in hindsight, it's definitely a hundred times better than a C-section, which is a major operation. As an example, I was out digging up my vegetable patch 3 days after having child 2 naturally. After the C-section, I could still not walk properly after ten weeks. The difference and the pain levels were worlds apart and I hated the C-section scar. I still HATE HATE HATE that ugly disfiguration and will hate it to my death. 

 

Interestingly, when I came in with child junior, I was so far gone I had no time between contractions at all, and I fell though the hospital doors. At first they were all like "my goodness, is it coming now?" and I was all "How the hell am I supposed to know??" "But this is your second?". Yes, I am a VBAC you morons. Last time it came out by way of a big knife. It all worked out really well though although I did shout at them to kill me for 45 min or so. After that it was cake and my pain levels were "pop one paracetamol and good to go" as compared to weeks and weeks on opiates and other strong stuff with the C-section. I'll take 45 min of death wish over ten weeks of horror any day.

 

(The only reason I just wanted to die was because I dilated from 1-10 in just over an hour. It's...a bit too fast to be pleasant, to say the least. Most women do it slower and can control it better with gas and air, and in that case it's a bit like interval training: lots of effort but a pretty awesome feeling when you're done.)

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