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Un-stealing an Identity


Myshkin

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Say hypothetically that someone here were to steal someone else's board identity. A far-fetched idea which of course could never actually happen, but let's say for the sake of argument that some sexy genius managed to pull it off. That person could then spend the next few days brilliantly and hilariously ruining someone else's reputation on the board. It would be great fun, and those few who managed to stumble upon the truth of the situation would hail the identity thief as a revolutionary thinker and decisive person of action. In short, stealing someone else's board identity would be awesome in every way. However it seems to me that certain problems might arise when the brilliant thief decided to go back to their own identity. Again hypothetically that person would just go to their profile, change their name, avatar, and title back to what they originally were, and quietly pat their self on the back for a job well done. But due to the way this board is set up that option is not ideal. You see, if the beautiful thief were to do that then their true identity would become tied to the ridiculous things they may have posted while impersonating their deserving target. Say for example that the amazingly attractive thief, under the guise of their stolen identity, were to post something incredibly stupid about a godlike rockstar. It would be really funny because then everyone would think that the person whose identity was stolen was a complete idiot. But when the stylish and talented thief reverted to their true identity it would be their name that was tied to the incredibly stupid post. Future n00bs might then stumble upon that post and mistakenly decide that the excruciatingly intelligent thief was a complete idiot. You see the problem? 

 

So my question is this: were you in this situation how would you go about un-stealing an identity while leaving your sterling reputation intact? All suggestions are welcome. Except stupid ones, of course.

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1. Abandon the old identity.

2. Create a new account with a temp name, like Myshkin1 (as an example). 

3. Petition the mods to move all your post count to the new identity after lying and saying that you could not log into the old identity/it was hacked by Chinese. 

3a. This works better if you can get the old account banned and then say that it wasn't you, it was your Evil Arch Nemesis. 

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Find some (other) eccentric and misunderstood genius who happens to look like a godly sex alien rockstar, and have him create some sort of machine, an abomination in the eyes of God and Nature, that creates perfect living copies of this sexy thief. Using these doppelgängers, build a sort of career, gaining renown, and lets say...what's another word for prestige. This renown is part of a convoluted scheme draw out your the brilliant thief's nemesis and by faking your own death, force him to confront his past crimes and thus his part in creating the very soul destroying scheme that he finds himself snared in. 

Fairly certain it will all work out from there.

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Find some (other) eccentric and misunderstood genius who happens to look like a godly sex alien rockstar, and have him create some sort of machine, an abomination in the eyes of God and Nature, that creates perfect living copies of this sexy thief. Using these doppelgängers, build a sort of career, gaining renown, and lets say...what's another word for prestige. This renown is part of a convoluted scheme draw out your the brilliant thief's nemesis and by faking your own death, force him to confront his past crimes and thus his part in creating the very soul destroying scheme that he finds himself snared in. 

Fairly certain it will all work out from there.

 

So, you're telling this person to become Sologdin?

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Make sure that your new identity does not fall into the NCKLBCK zone:

7598797120_15995d7820.jpg

Color code

Red: Veggie prog rock

Yellow: Operas and music generated entirely by computer AI

Green: characterized mostly by Enya, Gotye

Blue: The nickelback zone

Purple: Apocalyptica, almost any silly thing on Eurovision

 

ETA:

ahahahahahaa Even better version of the chart:

http://www.eefster.org/westeros/new_music.html

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So hypocritically what should a gorgeous identity thief do if, while contemplating how best to affect a return to self, they were to discover that SOME ASSHOLE HAD STOLEN THEIR ORGINAL NAME?!

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So hypocritically what should a gorgeous identity thief do if, while contemplating how best to affect a return to self, they were to discover that SOME ASSHOLE HAD STOLEN THIER ORGINAL NAME?!

I don't know... perhaps not steal an identity in the first place? Or at least not get caught and identified doing so? :)

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We should make people take the test and post again. And eef and I should scientifically determine the new music categories.

YASSSSS!!

Still pretty sure me, you, Skylark, Elder Sister, and Howdyphillip will end up in the vegetarian progressive grindcore group. And Datepalm will still love music made entirely by computer AI. We might need to update for the Macklemore zone, tho.

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