Worst book you ever read?

[Horus Ex Machina]

Never realized how overrated First King of Shannara was until I tried to read it. I was between series', and I had seen a number of people read it in thier off time so I said "what the hell" and bought it.

I never take more than two days to finish a book even in a time crunch, but the first 50 pages of that book had to be the longest week of my life.

[Deornoth]

I'm going to add my voice to the list of those who hate anything by Laurell K Hamilton. I've only read a couple of her books but the sex is just... scary and wrong. The bit where she was doing it with a were-swan (I mean c'mon. a were-swan?) and he turned into a bird... FFS

[Monboddo]

Unfortunately, I've read, or started to read, a ton of awful books.

Anything by Clive Cussler, L. Ron Hubbard (the movie was better than the book - good God), Margaret George, Kevin J. Anderson, and John Saul is among the worst.

[Tongue Stuck to Wall]

If you think those two are bad, read Pool of Darkness... It makes even Goodkind look like a talented writer.

Amen to that. Even worse, I actually played the entire game.

Also:

The Iron Tower by Dennis L. McKiernan: the whole Tolkien rip-off issue aside, the writing was absolutely atrocious.

Laurell K. Hamilton: I used to date a girl who was into fantasy/sci-fi too and we swapped the series we were currently reading. I gave her ASoIaF (which she loved) and she gave me three of four of the Anita Blake books (which I did not love).

[VikingBeard]

Some piece of crap book I had to read in highschool called Lisa. It's about a 12 or so year old girl who single handedly overthrows Hitler and the Third Reich.

[L'Sana]

David Drake's Lord of the Isles has to get at least a mention on any thread like this. It's an art to be able to write an ending that is both completely predictable and utterly nonsensical. I think that's the worst one I've ever read.

Although Rhapsody was pretty bad too.

[Maltaran]

Aside from the Yeard, it would probably be the novelisation of Phantom Menace. Not only is it (a) a film novelisation and ( that film is one of the Star Wars prequels, but also © it's written by Terry Brooks.

[RedEyedGhost]

L. Ron Hubbard (the movie was better than the book - good God)

Wait wait wait. You tried both the book and the movie!?

[Horus Ex Machina]

Some piece of crap book I had to read in highschool called Lisa. It's about a 12 or so year old girl who single handedly overthrows Hitler and the Third Reich.

You win.

[Zadok]

I've got to add another Ed Greenwood FR novel, Shadows of Doom. This is the only Greenwood book I've ever read so I imagine the other ones mentioned in this thread are just as bad. The wizard has all of magic inside him, or something and he's traveling with a female ranger for some reason. They have sex and kill bad guys. It's really quite terrible. The wizard is also probably the worst/best Mary Sue I've read.

[MinDonner]

I haven't actually read this (cos I'm not stupid) but apparently there is an L Ron Hubbard story that's been converted into a novel by... wait for it... Kevin J Anderson. I'm willing to bet that this is one of the biggest atrocities ever committed against the English language.

[Rubies & Jade]

Laurell K. Hamilton: I used to date a girl who was into fantasy/sci-fi too and we swapped the series we were currently reading. I gave her ASoIaF (which she loved) and she gave me three of four of the Anita Blake books (which I did not love).

just curious, did you dump her after that?

I had a friend who used to do stuff like that to me--we were so happy when we first found out that we both read sci-fi and fantasy. But, the books given to me were generally young adult books that I couldn't stand, and she didn't like the books I gave her, like ASoIaF.

I had to stop talking about books with her.

[VarysTheSpider]

Once again, the cover art is really cool, especially with the F-4 Phantoms wearing Nazi insignia. But I actually ran into trouble with the text on the back cover. In those days, I was writing the books so quickly, the publisher frequently had the cover jackets printed up even before I even finished the book. In this case, I had told them that the Nazis were after Inca gold. Only when I got to the last part of the book did I realize I should have said "Aztec gold," as the Aztecs were from Central America, and the Incas were way down in South America. But a zillion covers had already been printed up. That's why, in the last few chapters, I had to pick up everything and everybody and move them all a thousand miles south, to Bolivia, where they could finally end the adventure by finding all that freaking Inca gold.

This might be the funniest thing I've ever heard an author say about his own book.

What a legend.

Mine's Jingo by Terry Pratchett. "Discworld goes to war!" blares the back cover, so please, forgive me for thinking that this book might be slightly fucking entertaining. Boring, unoriginal satire is one thing. Boring, unoriginal satire with the same characters and the same jokes and a confused, incomplete, incoherent (im?)moral message is quite another.

Hahaha, thinking about Jingo made me think about Eric. What a pile of wank that was, but at least it was over quickly.

[Ser Hot Pie]

I remember hating A Separate Peace when I read it in high school. A friend I had in college once mentioned that he hated it too. It's supposed to be a classic coming of age story, but it didn't work for me.

[kastor]

Perdido Street Station was indeed abysmal, as well as the one Bentley Little book I read (damn you Stephen King!) but the absolute worst piece of crap I've ever read (or began to read and then put down because it sucked so bad) was the Joy Luck Club. Take your freaking life lessons and shove them up your ass, Amy Tan!

[Gwinna]

I don't know about the worst book I've ever read, but the worst one in recent memory was Scarlet Moon by Debbie Viguie. A retelling of Little Red Riding Hood as a YA romance with a werewolf. It was just very badly written, with tons of cliches and unrealistic-ness.

Btw, I hated A Separate Peace too when I had to read it in high school. Mostly because it was depressing, though; I don't know how I would feel about it now. Others I hated were: Rabbit, Run by John Updike, Animal Farm by George Orwell, The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, and Lord of the Flies by I don't remember who. I don't know why they made us read all these horrible books at school... and I didn't even mention any of the dreadful short stories I had to read.

I consider myself fortunate, however, in not having heard of most of the books mentioned in this thread.

[Guarneri]

Lord of the Flies sucked due to the ending. All this death and dread, and then...Happily fucking ever after comes out of left field with a chance of 1 in 1 billion.

Metamorphosis was just plain pointless and wtf-like.

[Gwinna]

Lord of the Flies sucked due to the ending. All this death and dread, and then...Happily fucking ever after comes out of left field with a chance of 1 in 1 billion.

Actually, my teacher gave us an interesting assignment after finishing the book: to write about what happens next, as a kind of epilogue. I don't remember what I wrote about, but she read some to the class and most of them involved lots of angst and everyone being so emotionally scarred by what happened on the island that there really wasn't any happily ever after.

But at the time I hated anything depressing or scary, so the improbably happy ending for me wasn't enough to make up for the horror of the rest of the book.

[duchess of malfi]

Some piece of crap book I had to read in highschool called Lisa. It's about a 12 or so year old girl who single handedly overthrows Hitler and the Third Reich.

It would be interesting to know if something that sounds so bad might be the ultimate Mary Sue fic of all time?

[From that One Book]

Lord of the Flies sucked due to the ending. All this death and dread, and then...Happily fucking ever after comes out of left field with a chance of 1 in 1 billion.

I don't know that the rescuers showing up was supposed to be a happily ever after sort of thing; rather, it was supposed to drive home the theme. The whole book was an exploration of how quickly human beings can revert to a savage, bestial state. The fate of the various characters, whose names I don't entirely remember, showed that religion, intellect, etc. weren't capable of preventing human beings from giving into their primal nature. But then the rescuers show up, express disapproval, and these monsters, these beasts, suddenly turn back into blubbering little boys. Ultimately, it's authority, and humanity's willingness to submit to the auspices of authority, that prevent it from tearing itself apart.