Werthead Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 I love the Medal of Honour: Airborne review: The Medal of Honour series has been going on since 1999, meaning it's actually been going for longer than the Second World War did. And if you put together all the games, TV shows and movies that depicted it, the Normandy landings alone probably lasted somewhere in the region of six months. You're all-American, apple-pie-shitting, bullet-magnet 'Boyd Travers', a paratrooper who has somehow been transported into an alternate universe where the Axis forces were Saturday morning cartoon villains and everyone else is a colossal moron. The gimmick this time is that you get parachuted in at the start of each level and get to choose your starting position, but there are usually no more than one or two safe drop points close together and everywhere else is a highway to Nazi bullet bum-rape. I'm no historian but I'm pretty sure there wasn't an elite branch of stormtroopers who worse gasmasks, wielded miniguns and could take three sniper bullets to the forehead before dying and I'm pretty sure the Nazis didn't have a giant armoured concrete tower than can only be described as a Doom Fortress. By the end of the game I wouldn't have been surprised if Hitler had appeared riding a giant robot spider. I only played the single-player so maybe the multiplayer game is better but they'd need to teleport whores into the room before I'd start caring. The cynicism is a bit wearing after a while (does he actually like any games?) but it's all amusing and some of the animations are quite cool. EDIT: The Orange Box review is also awesome: Introducing a new NPC at this late stage whom everyone has supposedly known all along is a bit like coming home to find a walrus at the dinner table but you're only one who's noticed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slurktan Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 The reviews for Halo 3 and Bioshock are hilarious as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 Especially the bit about the weaponry in Halo looking like it was made by Mattel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EHK for Darwin Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Holyshit, I'm still busting a gut laughing after that Bioshock review. This guy is fucking brilliant. Love the shots at console gamers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EHK for Darwin Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 I literally had to listen to every one of those. I was sort of pissed that there weren't more. So many fucking quotable in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Hehe, this is Zero Punctuation, right? I discovered it a few weeks ago and it was making me laugh out loud at work. Try his review for Pyschonauts, Wert. He loves it and he loves Portal too. from the MoH review "Historical Accuracy is only of interest to British people and Fags" There was another one about tits and violence that I've forgotten now, but was awesome. Great stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactus Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Oh, for moment I thought you were going to show the capitalist the glories of Maoist Game Reviews! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 That site is absolutely amazing. I can now screen my games for "Bourgeois bias" and "Capitalistic Terrorism" before buying them. ETA: I read their EU2 review, which was absolutely hilarious. 4 paragraphs spent talking about the game combined with 10 talking about other things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Do check out his personal site too, www.fullyramblomatic.com - it's all awesome, Yahtzee's been my favourite internet writer for years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eurytus Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Do check out his personal site too, www.fullyramblomatic.com - it's all awesome, Yahtzee's been my favourite internet writer for years now. Yeah, for those who like his current stuff be sure to go to this old site and look at the Fable review. A bit more primitive than his recent stuff but oh so true. Easily the best reviewer on the web. I just wish he'd do more of them. And maybe movies too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Ah, are these video reviews? A shame, can't watch them at work. Yup, they're very snarky and damn funny too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EHK for Darwin Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Loving the older reviews on his site. Darkness one kicks ass. "personally I'd only consider buying the full version if it came down to budget price, and they threw in another, better game, some cake...and Belgium." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobin Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Fabulous, I have to show this to my hubby when I get home, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Yeah, for those who like his current stuff be sure to go to this old site and look at the Fable review. A bit more primitive than his recent stuff but oh so true. He's got a whole shit-ton of written stuff that he's done over the years too, as well as comics and games, all well worth checking out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamjm Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Introducing a new NPC at this late stage whom everyone has supposedly known all along is a bit like coming home to find a walrus at the dinner table but you're only one who's noticed. Suddenly the "More Potatoes, Uncle Tusky?" Livejournal avatar a friend of mine is using makes more sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
一方通行 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 yahtzee is great, i watch the new one every wensday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Great review. Thanks for letting me know about the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 Tabula Rasa review = awesome. "Removing the grind from MMORPGS makes as much sense as removing the crazy from Richard Garriott." Love the Psychonauts review. Especially the correlation of the decline of adventure game popularity coinciding with the rise of Jim Carey's popularity proving that the world suddenly became a lot more stupid in the late 1990s. Hard to argue with that. "It's all kind of like if Tim Burton knocked up David Lynch in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and he did meth right up to the birth. Psychonauts seems like quite a polarising game, with some people thinking it's the kind of game Jesus would make if he was alive and not a pussy whilst others feel it's a chunky vomit-milkshake severely overhyped by those in Party A." I also like him saying, "Remember when games were fun and not a second job?" whilst flashing up a pic of World of WarCraft. QFT. And his suggestion that grown men avoid games with brightly-coloured graphics for "fear of catching the gay." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted November 14, 2007 Author Share Posted November 14, 2007 The latest game to get the full treatment is Clive Barker's Jericho, which I must admit always sounded a bit crap and apparently this opinion is justified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Yahtzee's just put out another amateur game himself on his page (www.fullyramblomatic.com) which is pretty damn cool. It's a 2D stealth game, pretty short but with quite a bit of depth and very replayable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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