Happy Ent Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality You have two cows. You counted them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Jim Butcher You have two cows, the curves of their well-trained bodies emphasised by their hide’s black-and-white pattering, their firm udders reminding you of long it’s been since you last saw Susan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 RSB cows have black milk, 'course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EruditeFool Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Meyer: You have two cows. One sparkles in the sunlight and the other is a pedo were-cow. Veronica Roth: You have two cows. One is of the "Lactation" faction, so it gives milk and cannot eat grass. The other is in the "Turf" faction so it eats grass but cannot provide milk. Why? Because cows can't POSSIBLY do both. That'd be silly and unrealistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 derrida: you 'have' two cows cows/cows but you are unreasonably perplexed that you are unable to communicate this simple proposition. foucault: two bovine functions are apprehended within the micropolitics of your institutional animal husbandry knowledge. baudrillard: you are more attached to hyperreal cows on television than real ones in your yard. adorno: there can be no cows after auschwitz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnionAhaiReborn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Murakami: You have two cows. One disappears. The other is a mystic who gives you a handjob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Cantor: You have an infinite number of cows. Your cows double in number. You still have the same number of cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Salvador Dali: You have two cows. One is mango tree, the other is the Pope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 DuneYou have two cows. He who controls the cows controls the Universe. Beat me to it. Dunk & EggYou have two cows. One is killed and you get involved in a trial by combat to have justice. The other cow mysteriously disappears. (Bloodraven is laughing at you) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seiche Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Titus GroanYou have two cows. One is preparing an elaborate table setting for a ritual breakfast. The second is scheming to turn the farmyard on its ear by inciting two chickens to burn down the barn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrddin Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Matrix: There are no cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Blake: You created two cows. Because you must create your own cows, or be enslaved by another man's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anatúrinbor Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Bakker You think you have two cowsARE NOT COWS INFINITE? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Arryn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Hunter S. ThompsonYou have 2 cows. People will tell you that you deserve this, to arrive at this way-station of half-life overseen by bovine watchdogs who consider you of little interest and less worth, but what have people ever known? People also think cows are boring, but having spent enough time with these two, I can tell you that they're metaphysical beings. Just yesterday, one of them looked wistfully at a passing semi, and I'm sure he was contemplating a alternate ending to the day's festivities, which in spite of appearances will end up with me shooting out the lights of an abandoned pick-up while the cows sadly comment on the future of humankind. What wakes me up in a cold sweat was trying to figure out which of us he imoogined greasing the skids of that semi, and which one would be better for the planet. I still don't know, but I will alert the necessaries the moment I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamjm Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Peadar O' Guilin:You have two cowbeasts, they have to hunt and eat other domesticated animals to survive. One of them is smart but cowardly, the other one can't moo properly. Daniel Abraham:You have two cows. One burned down the other cow's barn but is still convinced they should be in love with each other. The other fends off the unwelcome advances by inventing modern banking. Brandon Sanderson:You have two cows. They both want to tell you all about the really cool magic system they've just invented. Ken Grimwood's Replay:You have two cows over and over again, although they get shorter each time. Hugh Howey's WoolYou have two cows. One of them wants to go outside even though everyone know there's nothing beyond the barn. Ernest Cline's Ready Player One:You're really nostalgic about the time when everyone had two cows even though you're too young to remember it. China Mieville's The City and the CityYou have two cows. They're convinced they live on different farms even though they're both in the same barn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvinus85 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Star WarsYou have two cows. You make them walk in a line to hide their numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maarsen Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 James Ellroy Cows. Two. Yours. Killers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callan S. Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Bakker You have two cowsYou have twoYou haveYou (Gets sprayed with milk)I like that one! Bakker: You are two cows - one is no, one is yes. This forms the no cow. Your milkshake brings all the sranc to the yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Star Wars You have two cows. You make them walk in a line to hide their numbers. Or maybe just: George Lucas You have two cows. You milk them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unJon Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 KJ Parker: You have two cows. You know in excruciating detail how to use every bit of those cows to make a bow and arrows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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