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Recommend books to a hater


fall787

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Hello, newbie checking in. Though I've registered just now, I've been lurking this forum for quite some time, and yes, some of the latest books I've read I picked up via recommendations threads here.

Here is my list (in no particular order):

Goodkind - haw haw

Tigana - indifferent

Black Company - slighty better than Malazan.... which is saying alot, right.

Anything by Gemmel - I don't "get" it

Elric series - Can I kill myself?

Prince of Nothing - indifferent. Weird names.

Blade Itself - terrible. Random fights. Book reads like a movie.

Lies of Locke Lamora - pretty bad. Out-of-character swearing is stupid.

Name of the Wind - atrocious. Read up the hype, and re-read the book just to make sure I didn't miss something important. Nope, still an empty story that could be told in 20 pages.

Briar King - OK, I guess. Completely indifferent.

Kushiel's Dart - yawnfest. Would be cooler if the motto was "Play Soccer With Whom Thy Wilt"

Malazan - you can't possibly be serious. I'd rather play WoW. Same thing, only I get to control stuff.

Dark Tower - 1,4 are good. Rest is garbage.

Night Angel - wait, what?

Mistborn - nope

Covenant - terrible

Codex Alera - element based magic, wait, no, this can't be

Dresden Files - Butcher said he wanted to write the most cliched story possible. He succeeded.

Assassin's Apprentice - will never read Hobbs again

LOTR - I liked the movies. Read the books when I was little and liked it ( along with Dragonlance, Conan stories), can't bring myself to re-read it now.

Pratchett - I liked first 2. Then tongue in cheek thing got old.

Witcher - Hit and miss

Belgariad - old and boring

Wheel of Time - keel it with fire please

ASOAIF - love it. Will sell newborn babies for ADWD.

Anyone else feel same way lately? God damn GRRM. Is there cure?

PS. Please don't take this as a bashing thread. Everyone has different tastes and entirely subjective reasons for liking/hating any book.

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You would definitely like Robert Newcomb's books about putting women in concentration camps and then beating them up when they escape. I think it's called The Fifth Feminist.

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How 'bout I just apply some of the suggestions from the Malleus Malificarum and let you judge for yourself just how good that work was? ;)

If all you read is epic fantasy, read something else, with an open mind. That or just take up whittlin'.

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You could be one of those people who like ASOIAF but don't like genre fiction (i.e. fantasy) in general. They exist. Even on this board. Some months I think I'm one of them :)

Try some classics like Tolstoy. Try some modernists like Grahame Greene. How about Rushdie? Dorothy Dunnett? Tristam Shandy?

There are other sections in the bookstore, dude.

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Read The Once and Future King by White. It might be a perfect book, truly completely without flaws. If you don't like it, you may want to consider the fact that you are an evil person.

Some of your dislikes make me laugh because they're about dead on for my tastes (Night Angel, Malazan, few others were seriously not my cup of tea). But a GRRM fan who dislikes Abercrombie AND Lynch? That's not too common.

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You know, I think I have more in common with the author of this thread than with most people on the board :D I, too, am a hater, although I actually more or less like Abercrombie (although mostly Best Served Cold rather than TFL) and think that books 2&3 of The Dark Tower are good, though not as good at 1&4 (finally! Someone who liked The Gunslinger!). Dead-on on Malazan, Kushiel, Butcher and Lynch, though. Though personally I also find Sapkowsky way overrated.

Oh, and Pratchett can be quite different from the first two Discworld books. Try Small Gods and Men At Arms. If you hate it, than Terry's writing is not for you.

And, it seems, you never read Kay? I'd recommend Lions of Al-Rassan, but that's very, very polarizing book, and you'll probably hate it too. Still, great read.

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Thanks for the replies.

1. Re: GGK - read Tigana and remained pretty indifferent. Is "Lions" any different in style?

2. Re: Once and Future King - I just might try after finishing my 5th re-read of AFFC, thanks.

3. I do read mysteries, history and biography-type books, and enjoy some. The problem is, I like fantasy: when I was little I spent days re-reading conan and dragonlance stories. I want to read good fantasy, but I just can't seem to find anything good after Martin. I am not a lazy reader, I finish what I start even if I don't like it. I also read widely: e.g. from War and Peace to Harry Potter.

4. Re: Gaiman - tried Neverwhere, nope, failed.

5. Re: Pratchett - I actually read 10ish of his besides the first 2. At that point I had nothing else to read. Guards! Guards! was OK, but it's just so tiring to read when entire plot is a collection of tongue in cheek. I just can't take it anymore.

6. GRRM's other are 50/50 for me. I've read alot of his short stories (I and II Dreamsongs), and liked some but not all

I think the bottom line is, I used to love fantasy... until reading ASOIAF. I used to think Spellsinger and Dragonlance series were genius! Now every new fantasy I pick up infuriates me and I feel like wasting time. I'm glad to know some feel the same or about the same.

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The statistics certainly seem to indicate you will probably hate him too, but if you haven't read anything by Jack Vance I'd give it a shot.

I'd suggest Lyonesse, or one of the Dying Earth books. They are both classics in the SF genre.

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1. Re: GGK - read Tigana and remained pretty indifferent. Is "Lions" any different in style?

I didn't even finish Tigana myself, so I'd say that, while there are similarities, both Lions and Sarantium duology are superior to it in any way.

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Maybe you like ASOIAF because it reads somewhat more like historical fiction then fantasy, I don't know, give Bernard Cornwell's Warlords series a try, or something along those lines.

Or perhaps you don't like the new fantasy, I myself can't read the old stuff any more.

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Have you read any China Mieville? His Bas Lag series often appeals to people who've tired of the kind of fat, trope-driven fantasy you seem to be tired of; also, since you read mysteries, you might especially enjoy his The City & The City.

And there are, as others have said, completely different fantasy works out there than multivolume pseudo-medieval war epics. You could try some John Crowley, Jonathan Carroll, KJ Bishop's The Etched City, Catherynne Valente's Orphan's Tales. And if you really are fixated on the big epics, KJ Parker or Mary Gentle's Ash might be worth a look.

And of course there's big epic space opera: Hamilton, Banks, Donaldson's Gap, etc.

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