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Sniffing Sister's and Mother's Panties


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#201 Chataya de Fleury

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 04:18 PM

...I do recognize a situation that has elevated beyond simple every day standard dysfunction. There are going to be long term consequences for not addressing this stuff, and you as the grandfather need to involve the rest of the family for an intervention. If you can't lead the charge, find someone who can.


I wonder how involved a grandfather (or other relatives) can actually get. I remember that Stego had some nephews and nieces (?) a few years back that were in some really dire straits, and he really couldn't "do" anything about it.

If Stego can't cause a relative to do the right thing vis a vis their kids, what chance does a less physically imposing (I imagine, because Stego is pretty damn imposing) person have?

Not that I'm thinking that Cantabile should throw his hands up in the air, just that we're all talking like he can actually DO something. And I think the most responsible thing he can "do" is make suggestions to his son - my suggestion, as stated, would be to get the kid into therapy...it would hopefully help the kid realize he's normal (or solve any problems he has)...but, if Cantabile says, that's not realistic, given Cruella...well, ah, good luck /wink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';)' />

And my vote is for never calling Child Protective Services unless a life is in danger. IMO, sometimes that causes more problems than it solves.

Edited by Chataya de Venoge, 05 December 2010 - 04:21 PM.


#202 Spastic Plastic

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 04:26 PM

Cantabile, I didn't mean that you should threaten your son or order him around. I was just saying that a part of me would react like that if it was my son. I think you should have a serious conversation with your son, though. He needs to understand that his kids are being damaged by this. As for your grandson, maybe he could see a therapist to talk about his problems at home.

I'm not trying to play the internet psychologist, but it does sound like the kid gets turned on by the thrill of the forbidden, instead of having incestuous feelings. Maybe the mom's behavior has something to do with it.

I wonder how involved a grandfather (or other relatives) can actually get. I remember that Stego had some nephews and nieces (?) a few years back that were in some really dire straits, and he really couldn't "do" anything about it.


Yeah, I remember a thread about that. Wasn't it those homeschooled kids with insanely religious parents? What happened to them?

#203 Cantabile

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 04:27 PM

I feel quite helpless, and like you said there's not much I really can do except help try to guide my son. I fully believe there's no abuse towards the kids; my son might let his spouse walk all over him, but he detests violence and would protect his children with his life. Why he can't do the same for himself, I don't know.

And I'm not very physically imposing at all. I like to categorize myself as the "cute little old man" type.

Tonight, after my grandson has gone to sleep, Cruella is planning on checking the keylogger. I'm pretty much hoping that she'll find something that will make her want to address him finally (preferrably let my son address him instead of herself)

#204 Balefont

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 04:42 PM

Okay, I don't mean to scare you or anything, but my boss's son is sooooo messed up by his mother, who happens to sound EXACTLY THE SAME as your DiL and he is now 18 and in and out of group homes because he's been so messed up by her.

I know, there isn't much you can do directly, but gods, if your son is so fiercely protected of his kids, he really needs to grow a pair or get them out of from under this bitch.

I'm so sorry, Cantabile. Ugh. Rock. Hard place.

Oh, and I totally adore cute little old men. <3

#205 Ixodes

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 04:57 PM

I think the answer to this should be obvious to anyone -- prayer.



The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.

Edited by Ixodes, 05 December 2010 - 05:01 PM.


#206 Chataya de Fleury

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 05:05 PM

The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.


Like catnip laser mice, for the young feline? Like peanut butter treats for dogs? /wink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';)' />

Where do you think new priests come from?!

(Just kidding)

#207 Kat

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 05:35 PM

You know, as much as I dismiss Dear Abby, in situations like this she often encourages family therapy with or without an unwilling party, e.g. the mother. It seems like it would at least be productive for Cantibile's son to see a therapist who could help him find productive ways to address his wife and child, if just talking between Cantabile and his son is not enough, and then if that works out, maybe all involved parties could eventually be roped in. It sure as hell doesn't sound like things are going to get any better with the status quo.

And as weird as the panties-sniffing is, I'd be most concerned about the secret pictures on the phone of other girls, because that is not something I would be ok with a classmate doing to a hypothetical 12-year-old girl without her knowledge. If I were another parent I'd probably raise hell and get the school involved. That shit should be stopped ASAP.

#208 Shryke

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 06:09 PM

The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.


Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.

#209 Ixodes

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 06:24 PM

Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.


As a knowledge building exercise, why don't you google how much the American Roman Catholic Church has paid in settlements for abuse claims. Why don't you look at those numbers and consider, just for a moment, that even though not every priest was a child molester, that enough of them raped boys to necessitate the church to pay BILLIONS to shut up victims. The church has a systemic problem that was covered up for decades. Sorry dude, even if the problem was only 4% of priests that is way too high.

#210 TrueMetis

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 06:26 PM

Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.


These are people who aren't allowed to have sex and whose doctrine teaches all forms of sex are a sin with some being punishable by death. Not exactly the best support for a young kid who's confused sexually even if you ignore the kid touching.

#211 Chataya de Fleury

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 06:37 PM

Being completely serious, I will say that most religious leaders are taught some kind of counseling, although it's not as rigorous as a degree in counseling/social work, and is nowhere near PhD (psychologist) level. This kind of counseling can be valuable for those who are religiously inclined and who are having a problem of a "spiritual" nature, such as "do I really matter to God" or comforting grieving family members after a death in the family.

I don't think it would be of help in this type of situation, UNLESS it was the only counseling that Cruella would agree to (and somehow, I think not), just to get a foot in the door.

I would think that a PhD would be more able to deal with this type of issue - not only because of the nature of the acute issue, but because of the family dynamics/domineering mother problems of a more chronic nature.

#212 MercenaryChef

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:20 PM

I wonder how involved a grandfather (or other relatives) can actually get. I remember that Stego had some nephews and nieces (?) a few years back that were in some really dire straits, and he really couldn't "do" anything about it.

If Stego can't cause a relative to do the right thing vis a vis their kids, what chance does a less physically imposing (I imagine, because Stego is pretty damn imposing) person have?


equating physical prowess to being able come off as a caring, loving and knowledgeable loved one who can provide insight on such a possibly immense family crisis is simply asinine.

#213 Spoony

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:26 PM

equating physical prowess to being able come off as a caring, loving and knowledgeable loved one who can provide insight on such a possibly immense family crisis is simply asinine.


To prove you wrong, I am going to petition that the next strong man competition contains this sort of contest.

#214 Shryke

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:41 PM

Being completely serious, I will say that most religious leaders are taught some kind of counseling, although it's not as rigorous as a degree in counseling/social work, and is nowhere near PhD (psychologist) level.


Exactly. I haven't encountered a Christian (or Jewish) denomination where your priest/pastor/rabbi/whatever wasn't trained to some degree in counseling. It's part of what they do.

As for the specific example of Catholic Priest above, you had like a 95% chance (the highest number quoted that I've ever seen is about 5%) that your priest would do nothing but help. You'd be in more danger driving your kid to see the priest.

Edited by Shryke, 05 December 2010 - 07:42 PM.


#215 Stego

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:45 PM

If Stego can't cause a relative to do the right thing vis a vis their kids...




Ehh, it's impossible to make anyone do anything they don't want to do with regards to their children, short of committing a serious felony or 3. I considered it. Hell, I considered it again yesterday while babysitting.

I genuinely think that if I had taken pictures of their home as it was yesterday, I could have swayed a judge.

Anyway, I try to be zen about it and buy kids lots of soap and books.



The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.



I couldn't stop giggling after reading this.

#216 Chataya de Fleury

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:51 PM

equating physical prowess to being able come off as a caring, loving and knowledgeable loved one who can provide insight on such a possibly immense family crisis is simply asinine.


Can't take a joke, can you?

#217 Spastic Plastic

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 07:51 PM

Stego, what happened to those kids? I remember there was a thread about homeschooling, and you mentioned a really damn horrible situation.

Edited by Terrorist Fist Jab, 05 December 2010 - 07:52 PM.


#218 MercenaryChef

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 08:02 PM

Can't take a joke, can you?


forgive me, but all your responses in this thread have come from the standpoint of a person who would not actually want to handle a volatile and sensitive subject and instead pawn it off on a therapist or someone else.

yes, we all want our kids to be perfect. but, in fact they are likely filthy little masturbatory beasts. and what happened here vs. what happens in most situations, this child's antics became known.

as i have stated previously, it is harder to deal with these things in home rather than have a 'professional' handle it.

#219 Shryke

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 08:13 PM

I'd say taking pictures of other girls at school to masturbate to and jerking off in your mom's undies kinda push this a bit beyond the normal.

#220 Litewraith

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 08:15 PM

I usually just lurk around here, cause I love reading these forums and seeing the regular people about, but I feel I need to add something to this thread.

I had a some pretty dominating parents. I know they loved me but nevertheless they pretty much tried to control my every move, with sexual exploration being discouraged if not outright reviled and the idea of privacy or private space being a pipe-dream. As a result I never really trusted my parents or even got anything remotely resembling a real and healthy relationship until I was about 25 and on my own for about 6-7 years, and gained a lot of resentment towards them. Now I know they loved me, but there was always that nagging feeling that they didn't trust me enough so they had to spy well until the day I moved out at 18, or respect me enough to just talk to me and ask me that caused a large rift between me and them (and by extension the rest of my family).

Now I know the story is anecdotal, and my story might not necessarily be true for everyone, but I really do recommend for his sake and the sake of your family to really try to push the fact that your son needs to have a long chat with your grandson. If your grandson founds out he is being spied on, or have his youthful sexual exploration repressed, then it could do some damage to him and his relationship with his family.

On the other notes, the panties stuff is weird but as others have stated, it sounds more like he is exploring his sexuality then anything else. The photos on the other hand... that needs to be dealt with immediately. If any of the parents of the girls find out, there will be severe consequences for him. It needs to be stopped immediately.

Well that pretty much ends the rant from the lurker. If you don't mind I need to go hide in the shadows some more.

Edited by Litewraith, 05 December 2010 - 10:37 PM.