Boarders Writing a Novel - Thread V

[Arthmail]

I'm only vaguely familiar with Kearney's work and I've never been able to get into PoN. Kearney was established. But using Bakker as an example, here's a chunk from the Amazon description:

It's a world scarred by an acopalyptic past, evoking a time both two thousand years past and two thousand years into the future, as untold thousands gather for a crusade. Travelling among them, two men and two women are ensnared by a mysterious traveler, Anasurimbor Kellhus—part warrior, part philosopher, part sorcerous, charismatic presence—from lands long thought dead. The Darkness that Comes Before is a history of this great holy war, and like all histories, the survivors write its conclusion.

Now if I had to guess, I'd wager that he focused on Kellhus in the hook.

Again, you've got TWO good story ideas, you've just got to figure out a better way to describe them as part of ONE story.

Kearney's first work is the Monarchies of God, i believe, and as far as i can tell, there are characters that not only seem not not know of the others existence, they don't live on the same continent.

[Ebenstone]

Kearney's first work is the Monarchies of God, i believe, and as far as i can tell, there are characters that not only seem not not know of the others existence, they don't live on the same continent.

Again, Amazon's description of Hawkwood's Voyage:

In a land torn by religious war and chaos, rogue mariner Richard Hawkwood leads an expedition to find a lost continent where safe haven may be found. But before the explorers find sanctuary-they must first survive the journey.

Two sentences. One character. Main conflict. That's what a hook is, brother. Just sayin'.

Now, A Game of Thrones is a bit more vague, but still:

In a world where the approaching winter will last four decades, kings and queens, knights and renegades struggle for control of a throne. Some fight with sword and mace, others with magic and poison. Beyond the Wall to the north, meanwhile, the Others are preparing their army of the dead to march south as the warmth of summer drains from the land.

It's not easy. My first attempts at hooks and queries tried to mention everything. The key is to boil it down to it's purest form. It's hard turning 130k (or whatever it is) into two sentences. Mine are a bit long and need to be pared.

[Arthmail]

Again, Amazon's description of Hawkwood's Voyage:

In a land torn by religious war and chaos, rogue mariner Richard Hawkwood leads an expedition to find a lost continent where safe haven may be found. But before the explorers find sanctuary-they must first survive the journey.

Two sentences. One character. Main conflict. That's what a hook is, brother. Just sayin'.

Now, A Game of Thrones is a bit more vague, but still:

In a world where the approaching winter will last four decades, kings and queens, knights and renegades struggle for control of a throne. Some fight with sword and mace, others with magic and poison. Beyond the Wall to the north, meanwhile, the Others are preparing their army of the dead to march south as the warmth of summer drains from the land.

It's not easy. My first attempts at hooks and queries tried to mention everything. The key is to boil it down to it's purest form. It's hard turning 130k (or whatever it is) into two sentences. Mine are a bit long and need to be pared.

Alright. But thats not the actual story. It follows Hawkwood, a soldier named Corfe, a couple of kings, and a couple of monks, all wrapped up in a religion fueled hate on for practioners of magic. The optics say one thing, but the truth is another. When i have a chance, i'll approach it with an eye to lying to my readers. Hahahaha.

[Ebenstone]

Alright. But thats not the actual story. It follows Hawkwood, a soldier named Corfe, a couple of kings, and a couple of monks, all wrapped up in a religion fueled hate on for practioners of magic. The optics say one thing, but the truth is another. When i have a chance, i'll approach it with an eye to lying to my readers. Hahahaha.

Without knowing the book, I can't say...but that's the gist. Yes, the book has all of those things, BUT the main action of the novel wouldn't happen if Hawkwood wasn't leading an expedition.

Anyway, hijacking the thread....who else has something they want to share?

[Zoë Sumra]

Alright. But thats not the actual story. It follows Hawkwood, a soldier named Corfe, a couple of kings, and a couple of monks, all wrapped up in a religion fueled hate on for practioners of magic. The optics say one thing, but the truth is another. When i have a chance, i'll approach it with an eye to lying to my readers. Hahahaha.

That's the thing. Two-sentence descriptions pretty much have to paraphrase so much that they render the story sketchy beyond belief when compared to the book itself. Longer dust-jacket blurbs do this too sometimes - I remember reading dust-jackets that bear the vaguest resemblance to the story inside; luckily the stories were good - and that kind of longer contraction is the form best mastered for a query letter.

Regarding Bronn's question from the previous page:

"Different" I can do, if that's the same as "special". Rough Diamond is SF/F fusion; far from unique in a genre where Star Wars is one of the biggest franchises, but it's different from quite a bit of modern SF. The magic talks back (it's the physical/metaphysical manifestation of several alien super-beings that live in a parallel universe). That's different. The main character is a black disabled lesbian mixed-race psychically crippled bisexual, none of which has any bearing on the plot, because, why should it? The antagonists are no less indecent than the protagonists: not unusual now, more so in 1995 when I started this. Not different. hm. I'm using the superhero-cannot-reveal-identity trope outside a conventional superhero setting, which is a little interesting, at least.

[SerNotAppearingOnThisBoard]

I'm really liking some of the stuff I'm reading here. Cool concepts. I'm probably a little late to this, but here's my most-recently completed work.

Light The Torch - A foot-tall robotic drone built for manual labor, Thix-ACH continually finds himself pondering forbidden thoughts—the origin of his kind, and if there is anything beyond the walls of the laboratory where he labors. Fearing for his life, Thix escapes his bonds and enters a cold world devastated by apocalypse, where he discovers the last living members of an ancient, powerful race—and they have a plan for him.

That was hard. Like everyone else, I have a really hard time condensing 100K words into two sentences, and I'm woefully unpracticed at this, so I'd appreciate any suggestions. Also, if it sounds like it might be your thing, I'd like to find more beta readers who might actually read the damn thing in a relatively timely manner (my friends are unreliable :P).

[alguien]

While taking a break from my first draft (still not done yet--had a great day yesterday though--1000 words!!!) I thought I'd come post an interesting development here.

So, in the previous thread, I posted that my short story "The Sparrow" had be picked up and broadcast as an audio play on the horror podcast site Cast Macabre. Its the third place its been published--I guess zombies are the big zeitgeist nowadays!

Anywho, the site creator asked me to record or type a bit about where I got the idea for the story from, along with how I view my writing process. After a quick tutorial in Audacity, I recorded a 2 minute piece and sent it to him. He enjoyed it very much, will be broadcasting it on their forum, and then asked if I'd be interested in narrating a story!

How cool is that!?! I've worked with voice actors before at my job (as Production Manager, I have to coordinate all our audio anthologies) and have done a bit of radio and acting, but never actual narrating. I've spoken with some recording studio guys and know the tricks for breathing, etc., but I'm a bit nervous. Hopefully it'll pan out.

Hope everyone's writing is going well! I can see from the last two pages there's some really awesome ideas in the pot!

[henderson]

While taking a break from my first draft (still not done yet--had a great day yesterday though--1000 words!!!) I thought I'd come post an interesting development here.

So, in the previous thread, I posted that my short story "The Sparrow" had be picked up and broadcast as an audio play on the horror podcast site Cast Macabre. Its the third place its been published--I guess zombies are the big zeitgeist nowadays!

Anywho, the site creator asked me to record or type a bit about where I got the idea for the story from, along with how I view my writing process. After a quick tutorial in Audacity, I recorded a 2 minute piece and sent it to him. He enjoyed it very much, will be broadcasting it on their forum, and then asked if I'd be interested in narrating a story!

How cool is that!?! I've worked with voice actors before at my job (as Production Manager, I have to coordinate all our audio anthologies) and have done a bit of radio and acting, but never actual narrating. I've spoken with some recording studio guys and know the tricks for breathing, etc., but I'm a bit nervous. Hopefully it'll pan out.

Hope everyone's writing is going well! I can see from the last two pages there's some really awesome ideas in the pot!

Great News!! Congratulations!

[Zoë Sumra]

Also, if it sounds like it might be your thing, I'd like to find more beta readers who might actually read the damn thing in a relatively timely manner (my friends are unreliable :P).

I am interested and have time - I've PMed you my email address if you're still in need. I'm not always the best at working out how to say what I think about writing, though. :dunno: Might still be of use.

As I now have a full edited draft of RD I'm progressing with putting it up at the writers' board (though the italics Take.Downright.Ages and I won't be finished for a bit). If anyone can swing by and give me an opinion I would be most grateful.

[emberling]

(though the italics Take.Downright.Ages and I won't be finished for a bit)

If you're referring to manually converting word-processed italics into board code (i's in brackets), this should be easily automatable. In OpenOffice it's as easy as:

-Find and Replace
-More Options -> check Regular expressions
-Attributes -> check Font posture
-Search for: (.*)
-Replace with: [i]$1[/i]

Hardly immediately obvious, but record it as a macro once and you have it forever. I'm sure Word is capable of something similar.

I'll give your story a look, though I don't know that I'll have anything insightful to say.

[Zoë Sumra]

I fail at macros. :( Will persevere. Thank you for the tip...

[Ahimsa]

I'm pretty excited. I have a very small press, mosaic novel coming out, which I mentioned about a year ago when it sold. But our marketing efforts have paid off--we are getting a blurb from Jim Blaylock to put on the cover! I don't ever expect to make much in royalties from the book (especially considering there are 3 authors in total) but it will be great to see something from a writer of his caliber.

Now if I could only finish the work in progress.

[Jon Sprunk]

Hey all,

I just finished the first draft of my third book. I'll be starting on the revisions in a couple weeks. With luck, it may be delivered to the publisher by August.

--Jon

[Ebenstone]

Hey all,

I just finished the first draft of my third book. I'll be starting on the revisions in a couple weeks. With luck, it may be delivered to the publisher by August.

--Jon

Okay, who used a Summon Author spell?

Welcome to our humble thread, ser. Any words of wisdom for those of use trying to get where you are would be appreciated? (I will gladly take a PM with a recommendation for your agent to read my book.)

(That last bit was a joke.)

[Jojen]

I'm working on adapting the Norse myth of the death of Baldur to an Old West setting, sort of a twilight of the cowboy tale. Not settled on a title yet, but currently going with "Providence in the Fall," which may sound like a travelogue of Rhode Island, but is actually taken from the line from Hamlet: "There's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow." As there were three bad winters preceding Ragnarok, the plan is to have my story broken into three parts set over a period of 10 years, each part set during winter. I'm currently partway through Part 1. I have a vague idea for Part 2, and a clearer idea for Part 3. I've never written anything so long, though, so I'm taking baby steps and just focusing on scenes, nevermind chapters, as I go.

Has anyone ever used an online peer review site to get feedback on their work? I've tried it and it's been somewhat helpful, but most people seem unwilling to give a really detailed critique. I'm the opposite. I tend to give extensive--maybe even excessive--feedback. But then again, I'm an editor so it comes naturally.

[Starkess]

Has anyone ever used an online peer review site to get feedback on their work? I've tried it and it's been somewhat helpful, but most people seem unwilling to give a really detailed critique. I'm the opposite. I tend to give extensive--maybe even excessive--feedback. But then again, I'm an editor so it comes naturally.

I've had some success over at Scribophile. Some of the critiques are just pointless fluff, people trying to get karma points, but I've gotten some really good, detailed advice.

[Jon Sprunk]

Okay, who used a Summon Author spell?

Welcome to our humble thread, ser. Any words of wisdom for those of use trying to get where you are would be appreciated? (I will gladly take a PM with a recommendation for your agent to read my book.)

(That last bit was a joke.)

haha. Well, this probably isn't the thread for that discussion, but feel free to PM me anytime. I'll give my meager 2-cents.

[Ebenstone]

I'm working on adapting the Norse myth of the death of Baldur to an Old West setting, sort of a twilight of the cowboy tale. Not settled on a title yet, but currently going with "Providence in the Fall," which may sound like a travelogue of Rhode Island, but is actually taken from the line from Hamlet: "There's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow." As there were three bad winters preceding Ragnarok, the plan is to have my story broken into three parts set over a period of 10 years, each part set during winter. I'm currently partway through Part 1. I have a vague idea for Part 2, and a clearer idea for Part 3. I've never written anything so long, though, so I'm taking baby steps and just focusing on scenes, nevermind chapters, as I go.

Has anyone ever used an online peer review site to get feedback on their work? I've tried it and it's been somewhat helpful, but most people seem unwilling to give a really detailed critique. I'm the opposite. I tend to give extensive--maybe even excessive--feedback. But then again, I'm an editor so it comes naturally.

The Critters site can be good. It's point based. You get a point for doing a critique and you have to do a certain amount in a certain period of time. It's not bad, the problem is, it's often not reciprocal and you find people do a slapdash job of reviewing your work. I did get one of my betas from there.

Look around different writing boards too, lots of places to find betas or crit groups.

[Ebenstone]

I'm going to make a bold statement here (especially considering some of the whining I've been doing here), but I was scanning my book this morning to write a new synopsis (per an agent request for a partial) and I've come to a realization:

My book, Winter's Discord, is at least as good as any of the fantasy books (traditional or young adult) that are out there now.

Chew on that for a little while and mock accordingly.

[Jojen]

Thanks, all. I'll check out some of those sites you've mentioned. Maybe I'll have better luck with them.