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Goodkind 51: Kahl Scratch Fever


Myshkin

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Surely corals must be the least noble animal.

They're at least as commie as those stinking ants and termites, but their pinko architecture lasts even longer and supports millions of other scrounging welfare-fish too lazy to go out and put in a hard day's work sculpting inspirational statues.

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Damn - I dunno whats more shameful. Being caught out or being caught out reading Goodkind.

ETA:

Yes, nothing bad could possibly come of this.

*wiggles fingers*

Yes, nothing bad will come off of pissing of other pirating groups when you're self publishing a book that relies solely on digital sales.

Nothing.

ETA: Oh shit! Could this be a ploy by the Yeard to try get the title " Most Pirated book ever" for this piece pish?

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The First Confessor: The Legend of Magda Searus

wherever I left off - the end.

I know, only four entries for the whole book? Seriously though, this thing is so monstrously bloated that this is really all it's taking to cover it. An absolutely retarded amount of exposition goes into this thing, along with Tairy's famous speeches and fumbling attempts to convert his legendarily bad magic system from something stupid and illogical, into something stupid, illogical, and extremely overexplained. Bah. I got really drunk last night.

So the last half of the book can be pretty much broken down into 3 parts.

-The actual plot of the actual book

-Speechifying/Magic explaining

-Retconning

The actual plot of the actual book goes...

They find out that deadhusband actually did bring back from the Temple of the Winds the notes that Kermit needs to finish the Sword of Truth and the Confessor spell. They go down into the woods and he uses her blood to finish the spell and now has the SoT which is also the key to the Boxes of Orden (But Tormund... wasn't the key a book that Racharrrg had to memorize when he was a kid?) Significant speechifying and magic explaining happens throughout. Oh yeah, and we finally get a "distinctive ring" as the SoT is drawn. Hooray!

Next Maggie and Kermit go to break the defector (not Shota BTW) out of jail. I don't think I need to tell you that she has been raped repeatedly. They kill the shit out of the guards and hightail it out of there. The defector was the Spiritist for the Emperor of the Old World. How exceptionally convenient! Turns out that he wants to be the Emperor of the whole world and the underworld to boot. He's been making an army of zombies and other such creatures and plans to turn everyone into them so that he can rule on a mountain of skulls in a castle of pain from his throne of blood! He's pretty much this guy.

Now Maggie is a bit worn out from all this and has to go have a bit of a lie down. This is naturally prevented by Lothain, who at this point has been reduced to simply a giant mustache and a matching giant hand, twirling away. We get the rape threats again, then yet more villainy, as we are brought to the battered and bruised handmaid. Lothain is going to torture everyone Maggie knows to death if she won't marry him. Mwahahaha! This guy clearly knows the way to a lady's heart. He locks her into her room to wait for the wedding the next day. She shows the resources of a great mastermind and escapes out the window. Really.

She goes to look for Kermit but he's been arrested. She takes the SoT and kills the shit out of everyone, rescues him and demands that he make her into a confessor. He agrees, but only after like 50 fucking pages of speeches about personal choice and the nature of good and evil, and how this act that she has considered monstrous and evil for the whole book isn't evil any more because she really really wants to do it. It is accomplished by Kermit stabbing her in the heart with the SoT, because why the fuck not?

Alright, time for the climactic scene! Maggie is brought in to be married but no! Curse your foul villainy Lothain! When she enters the chapel she is greeted by a 100 foot tall mustache monster! She is cursed to pick breadcrumbs out of it forever! Or she could have been accused of treason and sentenced to be executed. There was a lot of alcohol involved. She uses the confessor power on Lothain and makes him confess everything. He's a spy for the Emperor working with dreamwalkers and zombies to do evil blah blah... There's a bit of a kerfluffle and the traitors are ratted out and everyone does the the Rahl Cult Devotion. It's all wrapped up in a pretty little bow. The only problem is that the entire series still makes no goddam sense. Fear not though because the retcon machine is getting going!

Time to retcon Wizard's First Rule! The Book of Counted Shadows was they key to opening the Boxes of Orden, not the SoT. So Maggie and Kermit get together with the local historian to make up a fake book to be the key through a disinformation campaign. What noble champions of truth!

Time to retcon the Temple of the Winds! It is revealed that while Lothain was there he managed to make it so fewer and fewer people would be born with magic, so that it's not weird that there's only like 3 wizards when we get to the SoT books.

Time to retcon The Omen Machine! Al Rahl comes back and they hatch a plan to use magic to get all the zombies and such up to "The Dark Lands" north of D'Hara and lock them away there with magic that should last a few thousand years. Just in time for them to break out for the next Dick and Kay book.

Time to retcon the Stone of Tears! Since everyone did the devotion there's no reason to build all the towers to block off the dream walkers, so they are explained away. Haha, just kidding! This part still makes no sense.

Finally, Maggie gets the spiritist to let her talk to deadhusband who speechifies for a little while, then encourages her to go get on Kermit's dick. The end.

I expect all you lemmings to buy me drinks in San Antonio next year. This shit was awful. At least as bad as Lo9's just because it was so fucking boring. I can't think of a single memorable quote, or character who wasn't one of the yeard's existing characters given a new name. And basically the whole thing happened over a period of like 3 days, but somehow took that much time to tell about. I'm gonna go watch Anderson Silva beat the piss out of Chael Sonnen now.

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Yes, nothing bad could possibly come of this.

Well the guy panicked and deleted all of his social pages and a few others that weren't posted publicly. He also took the time to individually take down all of his uploads and apparently tried to issue an apology. Ahh what a fun night.

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Yes, nothing bad will come off of pissing of other pirating groups when you're self publishing a book that relies solely on digital sales.

But that's not what happened here. Terry's been actively engaging with would-be pirates (groups included).

http://www.terrygoodkind.com/theoracle/ebooks/

This guy was the first to break that mutual respect and try and make a run of things. Blammo. If you really dig into what Terry's doing on the piracy front, it's pretty fascinating. Read some of his comments from that thread.

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But that's not what happened here. Terry's been actively engaging with would-be pirates (groups included).

http://www.terrygood...eoracle/ebooks/

This guy was the first to break that mutual respect and try and make a run of things. Blammo. If you really dig into what Terry's doing on the piracy front, it's pretty fascinating. Read some of his comments from that thread.

There is no mutual respect. Google shows 5 pages alone of First Confessor free epubs. The following 5 or so pages contain the rest of the sword of truth.

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He deletes every comment that disagrees with him. If you think what he is doing is 'neat,' then you are completely clueless.

That seems to be the trendy thing for authors to do these days. :leaving:

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He deletes every comment that disagrees with him. If you think what he is doing is 'neat,' then you are completely clueless.

Stego, Stego, you 'know so much'.

Let me pierce the veil a little bit... The roughly dozen comments that got deleted -- that we deleted -- were all of the "you're !@%& crazy" variety. If we were sterilizing the fields, you'd see a heck of a lot less of the dissenting opinion in that thread. I take it you were part of the raff? And I'm sure you're totally surprised your comment got razed...

But any who, since when is that a problem for anyone? We all have a right to say whatever we want, but don't act surprised to get tossed out the door if you're standing in someone else's house doing it. With everything that may be to make fun of, are you really stooping to manufacturing complaint?

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There is no mutual respect. Google shows 5 pages alone of First Confessor free epubs. The following 5 or so pages contain the rest of the sword of truth.

You know, we could argue this out but instead let's put it like this; there is respect and it was earned. Dig a little deeper, friendzo. I'm sure you'll find evidence of it. I'm not saying the pirated content doesn't exist, that's an inevitability. Real tacks: It's safe to assume all of you also know that piracy isn't perpetrated by super villain groups. There are no emergent leaders and the whole scene is essentially ad-hoc with a bunch of clusters everywhere. So you can't strike an accord with an entity that essentially doesn't exist as an ordered form. Instead, you appeal to the individual on a mass level. And that's what we did. And the results are good. And the bridge is real.

If you've read what Terry wrote (have you?), you wouldn't be sensibly arguing this point. He's taken a smart position and it's the most progressive I've seen. /coming from the guy that has deep professional roots in music, gaming, movies, etc.

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Right because when an angry author posts someones personal info, crazy fans never try and track the guy down.

What's your point? An Author writes a book. The Author publishes that book. He asks people to respect the work he's done, offers in-kind, mutual respect, works beyond expectations to satisfy the reasons why people would not support what he's doing, and essentially puts himself up -- without a publishing advance, without book stores supporting his effort, without anything other than himself, his book, and his website. Soon after, guy that says he's a fan comes along, redistributes the book to a bunch of download sites (very exuberantly we might add) and generally ignores the Author's plea for even the slightest modicum of respect. Something most other people did grant. Author expecting this and not at all surprised by what's been done, says fine. "Take my deeply personal work that I've spent the last 9-12 months working on and give it away, ignore my requests, disregard my outreach. Now I'll help you in your effort and share what you've done with the world." Posts previously public information about the guy, what he's done, and asks for a dialogue about it. That process became a part of the story of THE FIRST CONFESSOR from the moment he began uploading it. For the last many weeks Terry has spoke candidly about what's doing, why he's doing it, what it takes, and what's involved -- almost day-by-day. It's unreasonable then that when something significant like this happened, Terry should ignore it, not share it, keep it hidden in the closet and pretend to ignore it all? Particularly after making numerous posts, opening discussions, and working many nights reaching out to people that would do this kind of thing.

You're surprised by any of this and think Terry's in the wrong? It's a bad thing that some of Terry's fans took it upon themselves to tell the guy he's wrong?

Come on guys... Surely you can respect what happened and why. The 'uploader' made himself a part of a story being written day-by-day. He's now a character and a short chapter has been written about him. In the grand scheme of things, I find it all fascinating and another integral piece of the overall story for what it takes for an Author to do this kind of thing -- why anyone would do it, why someone else hasn't done it, and what makes it profoundly relevant for things like digital distribution, ebooks, publishers, content creators, copyright, and a host of other topics.

Electronic Arts announced this week they see the "100% digital distribution" transition on the horizon. It's close. Very close. Think about that.

All of this is pertinent to where we're at. It's time for shake up and radicalized thinking. Some guy got blown up on Facebook because he did a dick thing. You really effy care about him choosing to delete his never used Twitter profile? You really think someone's on his way to go stab him up right now? You know it's interesting (at minimum) and you're fooling if you deny it.

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