85 replies to this topic

[Vapor]

Hi guys, new here.  Didn't want to join until I finished A Dance with Dragons (I purposefully spent the last 4 months reading as slowly as I could to draw it out, knowing the next installment won't be for another few years)

I was however just looking around to see if there was any possible release date, and came across this, which to me either was a very bad prediction or I've missed something out completely.

Quote

Continuing the most imaginative and ambitious epic fantasy since The Lord of the Rings
Winter has come at last and no man can say whether it will ever go again. The Wall is broken, the cold dead legions are coming south, and the people of the Seven Kingdoms turn to their queen to protect them. But Daenerys Targaryen is learning what Robert Baratheon learned before her; that it is one thing to win a throne and quite another to sit on one.
Before she can hope to defeat the Others, Dany knows she must unite the broken realm behind her. Wolf and lion must hunt together, maester and greenseer work as one, all the blood feuds must be put aside, the bitter rivals and sowrn enemies join hands.
The Winds of Winter tells the story of Dany’s fight to save her new-won kingdom, of two desperate journeys beyond the known world in to the very hearts of ice and fire, and of the final clomactic battle at Winterfell, with life itself in the balance.

Is this just a terrible prediction from before ADWD or have I missed something entirely?  It seems to me like it'd be a description of what may happen come A Dream of Spring rather than what's currently happening.

Edited by Xray the Enforcer, 08 November 2011 - 07:33 AM.

[Lebronn Jaime]

The UK version of the Amazon site is shambles. The reviews are all recycled, when they're correct at all, and the synopses are written speculatively and never revised. This one takes the cake since none of those events are even hinted at in ADWD. I'd say take it with a grain of salt, but I don't think you should take it at all. It's complete malarkey dreamed up by an Amazon intern.

[Lionofwar87]

Yeah seems pretty off but the 'lion and wolf hunting together' tickled my inner fanboy

[Der Anarch]

Seriously if that's true then that description was one massive spoiler. After all, I would imagine that Dany should take the throne at least half way through the book, if not the end.

[Été]

Wow. I knew rushing through ADWD would make me miss stuff but that's ridiculous...

[Jamie Lannister]

Été, on 12 November 2011 - 09:50 AM, said:

Wow. I knew rushing through ADWD would make me miss stuff but that's ridiculous...

So much this.

I wouldn't give it much thought. It's most likely some off-shoot description penned by a somewhat eloquent fan.

Actually scratch that, I didn't see the typo. The ending just isn't GRRM either.

Edited by Jamie Lannister, 12 November 2011 - 10:14 AM.

[Chalais]

Some of the phrases look familiar, it wouldnt shock me if someone at Amazon just cribbed stuff from reviews of the earlier books and slapped together a 'synop' for WoW.

[The Cocky Wolf]

Ooh, so thats what happens I was way off.

[ManyFacedOne]

Amazon has professionally trained fire priests that can see into the future. Obviously.

[HouseLark]

Seems fairly old to me, probably from before the revised release schedule that GRRM forced on the series by splitting AFFC and ADWD. That's more or less what I expected for the last book to be honest.

[daenerys snow]

weird that they're saying that dany has won the iron throne when last we saw she was still in essos and had not even set foot in westeros yet. she was queen of mereen still. and the wall fell already? i guess i missed that one cause last we saw at the wall, jon snow was having his own little ides of march going on.

[Lexy Boleyn]

Could have been worst, they could have add a paragraph saying " But she's not alone! With her are Jon Snow, the former NW leader, who discovered that he actually was the son of Rhaegar and a very consentent Lyanna, and who become her lover/husband, Tyrion Lannister who finnaly discovered where whores go, and his brother Jaime who is ABSOLUTELY not dead!"
BTW, speaking of Jon becoming Dany's lover after the Wall is broken makes me remember of a joke I had a few days ago:
(Dany lands near the Wall after crossing the sea on Drogon's back and sees Jon)
D: So you're my nephew? Well, you're really hot for a Northerner, I'll take you as my consort, old Targ tradition you understand...
J: But I've vowed ( repeat the NK oath, those words are never repeated enough), even is I alost died, I can't as the Wall stands...
D: As long as the Wall stands? Well, look what I do with your Wall!
(She gives an order and dragons thow flames on the Wall, melting it)
D: Now, follow me and I don't want to hear any whining!
J: Yes ma'am

Edited by Lexy Boleyn, 17 November 2011 - 05:57 PM.

[daenerys snow]

^ shouldn't that end with a "now fuck me and no whining."? lulz

[Pomp & Happenstance]

I couldn't help but laugh when I started reading that mock synapses.

Only thing missing was the inclusion of Hodor, Grumpkins, and correct spelling. (Seriously, at least spell the names out)

[Lexy Boleyn]

daenerys snow, on 17 November 2011 - 03:24 AM, said:

^ shouldn't that end with a "now fuck me and no whining."? lulz

Well, they need to find a bed before!

Pomp & Happenstance, on 17 November 2011 - 10:39 AM, said:

I couldn't help but laugh when I started reading that mock synapses.

Only thing missing was the inclusion of Hodor, Grumpkins, and correct spelling. (Seriously, at least spell the names out)

Sorry for the spelling, I'm not English and my laptop is going quite messy...   But it's only the beginning, Hodor will make a memorable appearance at the great council of war before the beginning of the war against the Others...
Hodor: Hodor, Hodoooor,Hodor! Hodor ( go on for hours, James Stewart's  Mr Smith like)
All the old warriors in the room start crying
Stannis: Gods, I need to see Shireen before leaving, hugging her and saying how I'm proud of her! (cries too)
Euron: Why have I done all this things? I've made a mess of my life, ruined my relationship with my family ( cries and frantically hugs all the Greyjoys around)
Randyll Tarly: Sam, my son, I have been the worst father near Highgarden ( can't be the worst father ever, Tywin clings to his trophy)
Sandor: empties his emotional bag , then: Oh, Sansa, my little bird, I want to marry you and have lot of kids!
Then in the middle of all the huggings, apologies and tears, Hodor conclude with that poetic and legendary words, studied by all scholars: Hodor... Hodor.
Next time: How a Brienne/Genna team brought down Cersei's ego

[Lady Candace]

^^ You forgot Arya sews a legion of baby quilts for San-San's puppies, as she loves needlework now

Honorable mention: Un!Cat breaks down and professes her love for Jon.

Lexy Boleyn, on 17 November 2011 - 05:56 PM, said:

Well, they need to find a bed before!

Cue a five book series: Mother Of Dragons and Her Love Slave Travel The Valyrian Road To Find The Ultimate Sex Palace Bed.

[Lexy Boleyn]

Candace, on 17 November 2011 - 06:11 PM, said:

^^ You forgot Arya sews a legion of baby quilts for San-San's puppies, as she loves needlework now

She'll do that in a future episode if I have enough audience for these! Just after killing everything between Gendry and a Lord's title.


Honorable mention: Un!Cat breaks down and professes her love for Jon.

UnCat has a talent for ruining wedding. She'll ruin the so awaited San/San wedding by trying to kill the groom ( he's linked to Lannisters!) and will try to ruin Jon and Dany, but she'll be burned to death by the Dragon of Honor ( Drogon, of course, he refused to carry the train or the rings)



Cue a five book series: Mother Of Dragons and Her Love Slave Travel The Valyrian Road To Find The Ultimate Sex Palace Bed.

Yeah, they really need king size, because hot North/South/Lord's kiss/cowgirl lead to babies and they'll need room for the Sunday hug when they'll be joined by their kids, their dragons and offspring, Ghost and his direwolf mate and puppies...

Edited by Lexy Boleyn, 17 November 2011 - 07:32 PM.

[Lady Candace]

Lexy Boleyn, on 17 November 2011 - 07:32 PM, said:

Yeah, they really need king size, because hot North/South/Lord's kiss/cowgirl lead to babies and they'll need room for the Sunday hug when they'll be joined by their kids, their dragons and offspring, Ghost and his direwolf mate and puppies...

Cat will also remark on the width of the brides' hips because as we know, that's important for heir-bearing. lol

[Lexy Boleyn]

Candace, on 17 November 2011 - 07:39 PM, said:

Cat will also remark on the width of the brides' hips because as we know, that's important for heir-bearing. lol

Yeah, she even brought some geometre's stuff to measure them... An obsession even in afterlife, lol

[AllenY]

ManyFacedOne, on 13 November 2011 - 02:54 PM, said:

Amazon has professionally trained fire priests that can see into the future. Obviously.

Either that or greenseers.