Worst Imaginable Scenes from Winds of Winter (spoilers, naturally)

[ServantOnIce]

Penny: Yes, Yes I want to see the pretty flying dragons burn stuff, they look so beautiful all the mean are on fire like pretty pieces of jewelry. Maybe I can sing to the dragons and they will love me like they do in the songs.

Tyrion: Have you been smoking that Hemp from Volantis?

Penny: No, the hemp hasn't done anything for me . . I just see the dragons, you know living by the see puffing away . . . yes the dragons . .

Tyrion: Seven hells . .

[Myrish Swamp Thing]

Haha, this thread is absolutely hilarious! :lmao:

[Davos' fingertip]

Victorian has one of the three mercenaries blow the dragon horn.

Meanwhile, at the wall, the nightswatch and wildings start screaming and running as the Wall starts to crumble in front of their eyes. Someone had blown the horn of Joramun.

One day later:

Victorian: (still looking around) A day has passed, where are the dragons?

Meanwhile, alone in his ship at the Arbor:

Euron Greyjoy: Fools, all of them! Oh my fool brother! That idiot thought i would give him the dragon horn? Ha, should have learned the first time 'My gifts are poisoned'. Now Westeros is getting run over by Others! My job is done here, back to Asshai!

[IronBorn To be WILD]

littlefinger: strangles sweetrobin in his sleep giving sansa a much easier time claiming the vale.

sansa:after that she kills littlefinger while he gets all handsy on her.

tyrion: unites with victarion and claims a dragon, later that dragon eats him.

arya: goes to westeros to check off a couple names on her list and during her journey kills lady stoneheart unbeknownst to her that she's cat. upon finding out gives her her life in return, pretty much ruining everyones hopes and dreams the way GRRM does.

Jon: first chapter he just dies...for real... no more jon and we all all shed drunken tears at a bar while trying to mumble why we're so depressed to anyone at the bar near us, only to be thrown out by the bouncers when we get wayyy to drunk screaming "but he was aszhour ah..ah...burp..ahi ribern, guyz...GUYZ.. i just need one more for the ro...(pukes everywhere)...road"

osha and rickon: when davos finds them they are in the process of being eaten by skaagosi and davos must eat to spare his life.

[Eternally_Theirs]

UnRobb: So, how were you?

UnEddard: I am fine, thank you.

UnRobert: Did anyone find out about our plot?

UnRhaegar: Actually, I did.

UnRobert: *kills him*

UnRhaegar: *revives*

UnRobert: *kills him again* Now I can kill him a thousand times, like I always wanted to.....

UnLyanna: Hi.

UnEddard: Hi, sis.

UnJon: Am I late to the party?

UnBowen: I'm so powerful I can follow you into afterlife to punish you some more! *sees a faint blue glow* Alas, the Others want me to be their special assassin.....I get to wear your brother's head! Yay! *disappears*

UnJon: Ummmm.....okaaaayyyy.....

[houseHB]

Dolorous Edd "I checked Jon's pulse yeah he is dead"

[Buckwheat]

• Arya decided:"fuck it, I become a whore" and go to one of this noble brothels in Braavos
  
• Tyrion find out where whores go and stay there, after a few years a get a new one, looking like a Stark
  

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! :stillsick:

[Sweet-N-SourRobin]

"Right... so the only thing for it is to restore the Targaryen Dynasty to the Iron Throne. Okay, hands up, who's got Targaryen Blood?"

Tyrion: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Jon: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Cersei: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Jaime: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Aegon: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Varys: "I'm a Targaryen!"

Daario: "I'm a Targaryen and so's my wife!"