278 replies to this topic

[Son of Jon Snarkgaryen]

Serious Theory (that others may view as crackpot):

Varys might not really be a eunuch at all.  That may be one of his greatest mummer's tricks.  It might be the only thing about him that nobody - nobody - in the series questions.  That's why it's so brilliant.  It makes him almost completely underestimated - which he benefits from.

Spoiler

If he's a Blackfyre, could he repopulate that branch.....?  And maybe Aegon and Illyrio are Blackfyre's as well (if Aegon/Young Griff is really Illyrio's son).

Edited by Son of Jon Snarkgaryen, 16 December 2011 - 12:54 AM.

[CJS 2207]

Son of Jon Snarkgaryen, on 15 December 2011 - 07:14 PM, said:

Varys might not really be a eunuch at all.  That may be one of his greatest mummer's tricks.  It might be the only thing about him that nobody - nobody - in the series questions.  If he's a Blackfyre, could he repopulate that branch.....?

Sure... especially if he is hung like Hordor or *gasp* Ossifer Plumm.

If the latter, then he could even repopulate from beyond the grave.

Edited by CJS 2207, 15 December 2011 - 07:35 PM.

[Lost Umber]

actually.

Son of Jon Snarkgaryen, on 15 December 2011 - 07:14 PM, said:

Varys might not really be a eunuch at all.  That may be one of his greatest mummer's tricks.  It might be the only thing about him that nobody - nobody - in the series questions.  If he's a Blackfyre, could he repopulate that branch.....?

Actually.. I suggested he might be faking in another thread. It gives him the ability to hide in plain sight since no one gives much thought to the powdery eunuch.

[littlespider]

I have wondered about Varys' nuts occasionally in my spare time as well. Hmmm....

Is this a place for other wonderful crackpot theories? I look forward to reading them!!

I'll throw my "Sansa will warg a dragon and kick ass theory" to the pot as well. There's a silly thread floating around somewhere about it.

[Son of Jon Snarkgaryen]

All crackpot theories are welcome here, thus the title.

Though, as for myself, I think I will mostly be posting only-semi-crackpot theories on this thread, that I only put here in the first place to acknowledge that they might be crackpot.....

If I post a crackpot theory that is full-crackpot and meant as a joke, I will try to remember to make a note of it in the same post.

[Dirty Mike]

in before the merlings

[MyDogIsNamedDanerys]

HERE IS MY CRACKPOT THEORY.  I posted it right after reading adwd but it's time for primetime!!!

It's based on the idea that all of Melisandre's visions are true.

We know that Melisandre once saw visions in the flames of Stannis as Azor Ahai, being the one to stand up in the final battle against the The Great Other.  That's why she came to him in the first place.

Lately, though, she's seen visions which clearly tell the reader that Jon's Azor Ahai ("I ask to see Azor Ahai, but I see only Snow,").  

So, she's seen visions that both Jon and Stannis are Azor Ahai.  

Later, she tells Jon that she saw a vision of him as man, then wolf, then man again.  I'm thinking this means something that literally will happen (Jon will "be" himself, then warg ghost, then warg a human).  

So here's where it gets ridiculous.  Jon died at the end of adwd, but warged into ghost (ok not that crackpot yet).  His body, however, is totally unrecoverable what with being riddled with holes, and it's burnt soon after the end of adwd.  So, Jon is stuck in Ghost, and to fulfill Melisandre's vision, needs to eventually warg  into another human vessel.

Now for the final twist: for some reason*, Jon ends up WARGING INTO STANNIS.  That way, it's Jon in Stannis' body who eventually becomes Azor Ahai, and all of Melisandre's visions are proven true!  I'ts only TOGETHER that Stannis/Jon can be Azor Ahai and save Westeros.  

*So why would Ghost/Jon warg into Stannis?  I can think of a few reasons.  Maybe Stannis is dying, and Jon warging into him somehow saves him...  Or maybe Stannis is about to do something horrible and Jon wants to stop him.  Or maybe Jon finds out he needs to do it for some reason to fulfill his destiny.

[Seekrit Targaryen]

Shireen really is Patchface's bastard!

[Son of Jon Snarkgaryen]

MyDogIsNamedDanerys, on 15 December 2011 - 11:46 PM, said:

HERE IS MY CRACKPOT THEORY.  I posted it right after reading adwd but it's time for primetime!!!

It's based on the idea that all of Melisandre's visions are true.

We know that Melisandre once saw visions in the flames of Stannis as Azor Ahai, being the one to stand up in the final battle against the The Great Other.  That's why she came to him in the first place.

Lately, though, she's seen visions which clearly tell the reader that Jon's Azor Ahai ("I ask to see Azor Ahai, but I see only Snow,").  

So, she's seen visions that both Jon and Stannis are Azor Ahai.  

Later, she tells Jon that she saw a vision of him as man, then wolf, then man again.  I'm thinking this means something that literally will happen (Jon will "be" himself, then warg ghost, then warg a human).  

So here's where it gets ridiculous.  Jon died at the end of adwd, but warged into ghost (ok not that crackpot yet).  His body, however, is totally unrecoverable what with being riddled with holes, and it's burnt soon after the end of adwd.  So, Jon is stuck in Ghost, and to fulfill Melisandre's vision, needs to eventually warg  into another human vessel.

Now for the final twist: for some reason*, Jon ends up WARGING INTO STANNIS.  That way, it's Jon in Stannis' body who eventually becomes Azor Ahai, and all of Melisandre's visions are proven true!  I'ts only TOGETHER that Stannis/Jon can be Azor Ahai and save Westeros.  

*So why would Ghost/Jon warg into Stannis?  I can think of a few reasons.  Maybe Stannis is dying, and Jon warging into him somehow saves him...  Or maybe Stannis is about to do something horrible and Jon wants to stop him.  Or maybe Jon finds out he needs to do it for some reason to fulfill his destiny.

You.  Are.  Positively.  Evil.          This cheapens the R+L=J theory.  It just isn't the same if J isn't in J's body....  At least, that's how I feel.  He is my dad, after all.  

[MyDogIsNamedDanerys]

Son of Jon Snarkgaryen, on 15 December 2011 - 11:58 PM, said:

You.  Are.  Positively.  Evil.   This cheapens the R+L=J theory.  It just isn't the same if J isn't in J's body....  At least, that's how I feel.  He is my dad, after all.  

Oh don't worry, Jon also got Ygritte pregnant while they were sexing it up in the cave, and the twist is, she didn't actually die.  She got up right after Jon left, hid somewhere south of the wall and had her child (you).  So it's coo, you can still be Jon's son.

[TeamDanyArya]

Benjen Stark is Jon's actual father and Lyanna is the baby mama. That's why Benjen's at the Wall.

[jessalyn]

Seekrit Targaryen, on 15 December 2011 - 11:54 PM, said:

Shireen really is Patchface's bastard!

this.

[Verboten]

The egg that Euron threw into the sea will hatch and become a sea dragon aka kraken. The fire Dany chose to awaken Drogon Verion and Rhaego is what turned them into dragons in the forst place, the eggs are inherently magical and deeply influenced by their surroundings. No they do not breath seawater.

Also not crackpot but Sandor and Sansa are never going to hook up. EVER. This is a sanctuary right?

[Evamitchelle]

I've heard a theory that Rhaegar + Rhaella = Dany...

[Nausicaä]

The reason we don't get a detailed Dany description from any other POV and Tyrion was only allowed a glimpse from afar in ADWD is because she looks like young Cersei (A+J=C&J). It will seriously affect their relationship, because he will feel insecure around her and project his feelings about Cersei on her, which will ultimately lead to them falling out. Even though we don't see this from Barristan's POV, he might have noticed and was leading up to that with his "I know we don't talk much about Westeros, but you know, your father wanted this woman, Joanna..." talk
...I know, a little too crackpot-y, huh?

Also, there WAS a dragon under Winterfell.

[only me]

MyDogIsNamedDanerys, on 15 December 2011 - 11:46 PM, said:

Now for the final twist: for some reason*, Jon ends up WARGING INTO STANNIS.  That way, it's Jon in Stannis' body who eventually becomes Azor Ahai, and all of Melisandre's visions are proven true!  I'ts only TOGETHER that Stannis/Jon can be Azor Ahai and save Westeros.  

*So why would Ghost/Jon warg into Stannis?  I can think of a few reasons.  Maybe Stannis is dying, and Jon warging into him somehow saves him...  Or maybe Stannis is about to do something horrible and Jon wants to stop him.  Or maybe Jon finds out he needs to do it for some reason to fulfill his destiny.

Oh yes! I look forward to his interactions with Selyse. I thought I saw sparks between them earlier on . and Val would be so jealous, she should not have made these snide comments about her mustache.

Edited by only me, 16 December 2011 - 05:58 AM.

[DukeTheGold]

Hodor is
Azor Ahai

His breath is smoke in the darkness of winter and his tear is salt as he cries for his bleeding frostbite lip.

Edited by DukeTheGold, 16 December 2011 - 03:53 AM.

[Bastard of Godsgrace]

I still like some glamor theories, especially those two:

1.Mance Rayder is Rhaegar Targaryen, because the age fits and their personalities seem really alike (the problem being, of course, who really died at Trident),

2. Euron Crow-Eye is disguised as dusky woman, because it would be really sick.

Edited by Bastard of Godsgrace, 16 December 2011 - 04:02 AM.

[Serie]

@MyDogIsNamedDaenerys: you really hate Jon Snow.....

I'd love it if Jon and Dany are brotherandsister. This way we can find a third sibling and the trio-Targaryen riding the dragons will be completed!

Edited by Serie, 16 December 2011 - 05:53 AM.

[Lady Candace]

Crackpots:

---Davos Seaworth is the true Azor Ahai reborn.

---Loras Tyrell is completely fine on Dragonstone, and I bet he found something interesting there after all. Aurane Waters' job was to go spread the story, then bring back the fleet to DS for backup.

---Bloodraven has a hidden, sketchy agenda for Bran.

---Randyll Tarly is getting ready to flip to Aegon, and I surmise others in the Reach are as well. See: Mathis Rowan. Lady Oakheart.

---Un!Brienne. kidding, but not entirely

---Dany never goes to Westeros, but stays as a Queen in Slaver's bay, fighting the culture there for the rest of her life.

---Brienne's last word was "PEACH!"

Wentwarth, on 16 December 2011 - 12:53 AM, said:

Also, there WAS a dragon under Winterfell.

THIS! huzzah