The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:21 PM
I'll start with the bad, I am the kind of guy, who ask the bad news first and give the good ones last I hate House_Targaryen Article, I cant put my finger on the why... I just feel that it such a prominent article should be better, much better but I dont know how to improve it....
As for the good, I would like to give a shout to a new contributer User:Matt_2108 who have been rewriting, improving flow and mostly Ironing out many of my atrocities against the English language
Posted 03 February 2012 - 01:59 PM
Here a AWOIAF we have a separate article for each person so we do not need those lists. Not even for the navigation as we have a number of family trees for that.
Edited by Scafloc, 03 February 2012 - 02:00 PM.
Posted 05 February 2012 - 05:57 PM
@Scafloc, I see you already removed the section, I kind of hoped that you wouldnt. I agree that usually we shouldnt repeat the same in articles (and we are repeating it in the Iron throne and Major events as well) as it makes it pointless and redundant. However I felt that her it was a very nice and short summary of the targ dynasty, which provide information that is not present in the rest of the article, maybe we should try to merge section of it with the time line? or something? after all
Anyway, I think that the Downfall section is a good one, I would be interested to know what do you think we can do with the structure, Disputed Succession and Downfall seem to expand on the history, which is separated by customs and dragons and a list of the events and that timeline seems just wrong. i really hope that someone who is not familiar with the Targs will try to read the page and share what his thoughts with the rest of us.
Posted 06 February 2012 - 03:57 PM
How about a new division:
- Traits and customs, including the dragons and brother - sister marriages
- History before the Conquest & Conquest
- Rebellion of the Faith, Jaehaerys
- Viserys; marriages and Dance of the Dragons, Aegon III
- Conquest of Dorne, Daeron, Baelor & Viserys II
- Aegon IV, Daeron II and the Blackfyre rebellion
- Great Council (refer to the Great Spring Sickness that took the life of a number of Targ princes), Aegon V, War of the Ninepenny Kings, Summerhal
Posted 18 February 2012 - 01:37 PM
Edited by mor2, 18 February 2012 - 01:41 PM.
Posted 19 February 2012 - 10:54 PM
Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:09 PM
Btw, speaking of Sansa, I have added a few(I don want add more to avoid clutter) images to the article, which in my opinion reflect nicely her loss of innocence and leaving behind her tales of knights, ladies and courts
Edited by mor2, 20 February 2012 - 04:10 PM.
Posted 24 April 2012 - 10:14 PM
Can anyone make a "vector" map for the Conflict_Beyond_the_Wall ?
Edited by mor2, 24 April 2012 - 10:39 PM.
Posted 12 June 2012 - 04:35 AM
This is stated under "Appearance and Character": Nevertheless, Catelyn is also a fiercely protective woman and more often than not follows her heart rather than her head, especially when it come to he family which she deep love. This seems to be a rather strange statement considering the "more often than not" since Cat definitely doesn't follow her heart over her head most often than not. She's super controlled and does what she thinks is her duty. It also contains a grammar error "which she deep love", it should probably be "which she loves deeply".
Under "Hsitory" more really poor grammar and spelling:
When Brandon came to Riverrun to meet with Catelyn, young Petyr challenged him to a duel for her hand. Brandon won handily, but spared Baelish's life in compliance with Catelyn's plea, he was later sent back home, he sent a single letter after Brandon's death, but she brned it without reading it.
There's also further dodgy grammar in this bit: Her son Robb having marched south with his father's bannermen in response to Lord Eddard's arrest in King's Landing, she met up with House Manderly's levies and met the northern host in the field at Moat Cailin, accompanied by her uncle Ser Brynden Tully, who had quit his service to House Arryn, disgusted by Lysa's refusal to help against the Lannisters.
In the ASOS bit it says: Catelyn's wounds only partially healed, leaving her mutilated and without the ability to speak. but we know from AFFC that she can speak, albeit with difficulty.
Also perhaps a bone of personal contention: She is described as beautiful(even after giving birth to five children) with auburn hair, blue eyes, and long fingers. I find this quite offensive to mothers actually, as if having children is mutually exclusive with keeping any sort of beauty.
Edited by Lyanna Stark, 12 June 2012 - 04:35 AM.
Posted 22 June 2012 - 04:10 PM
The grammar in the "Did you know" section leaves alot to be desired, and the facts should just be stated without the article and without a question mark at the end, e.g: That Ellaria Sand, the paramour of Oberyn Martell is the natural daughter of Lord Harmen Uller. Should be Ellaria Sand, the paramour of Oberyn Martell is the natural daughter of Lord Harmen Uller
I know I'm being iffy, but the little things make a difference. Furthermore, some of the facts are not 'little known' at all.
I'm also unsure about how much information should go into one article - for instance Dunk's article reads as a summary of the three stories, and isn't simply about who Dunk is. And if you search for "Ser Duncan the Tall" the Wiki doesn't redirect to Dunk.
I'm going on a re-read project soon, hopefully I can get around to some editing once I've brushed up on my Westerosi history.
Edited by Daughter of the Morning, 22 June 2012 - 04:11 PM.
Posted 23 June 2012 - 10:25 AM