19 replies to this topic

[The Pimp that was Promised]

Who were ASOFAI's biggest alkies? And by biggest, I mean who would win a drinking contest.

Here is my list in no particular order. Please rank and feel free to add drinkers at your leisure. Cheers!

7. Greatjon Umber--What more can I say....the guy outdrank every Frey and manage to kill a couple all while in the middle of a mean drunk. He is Westeros' version of Stone Cold.

2. Sandor "The Hound" Clegane--ASOFAI's favorite dog was drunk in almost every scene. Like the Greatjon, he oftens fight dead drunk. When he's not perving on Sansa, this guy is making love to a skin of wine.

3. Thoros of Myr-- The fact that this red priest could go toe to toe with King Robert is enough street cred to win him a place on the list. Thoros doesn't really worship R'Hllor....he worships the Lord of the Bud Light .

4. Cersei Lannister-- She literally drinks herself stupid in AFFC, becoming a pathetic, fascinating parody of an evil woman. She tortures, fucks, scheme, and drinks her way through an orgy of self-destruction.

5. Tyrion Lannister--The Imp is either drunk or drinking in nearly every scene. Not only was he drunk at the Purple Wedding, which caused his exile; he was condemned for poisioning his nephew's wine. I think he deserves a spot near the top due to his small stature. He drank like a Giant.

6. Ser Dontos the Fool--This fool drank himself out of a life of Knighthood into one of mockery. If it wasn't for Sansa, he would have drank himself to death. Do you think that this loser ever stop drinking? Not Dontos the Fool....he was likely drunk when littlefinger gave him a red smile.

7. King Robert Baratheon--This guy is like a caricature of a gluttonous Medieval King (Henry VIIesque) HIs excessive drinking inevitably led to his whoring and outlandish spending habits. He was literally killed by wine (heavily fortified), a feat his presumed son would later mirror.

[Queen Cersei I]

thapphires!, on 04 February 2012 - 12:45 AM, said:

Who were ASOFAI's biggest alkies? And by biggest, I mean who would win a drinking contest.

Here is my list in no particular order. Please rank and feel free to add drinkers at your leisure. Cheers!

7. Greatjon Umber--What more can I say....the guy outdrank every Frey and manage to kill a couple all while in the middle of a mean drunk. He is Westeros' version of Stone Cold.

2. Sandor "The Hound" Clegane--ASOFAI's favorite dog was drunk in almost every scene. Like the Greatjon, he oftens fight dead drunk. When he's not perving on Sansa, this guy is making love to a skin of wine.

3. Thoros of Myr-- The fact that this red priest could go toe to toe with King Robert is enough street cred to win him a place on the list. Thoros doesn't really worship R'Hllor....he worships the Lord of the Bud Light .

4. Cersei Lannister-- She literally drinks herself stupid in AFFC, becoming a pathetic, fascinating parody of an evil woman. She tortures, fucks, scheme, and drinks her way through an orgy of self-destruction.

5. Tyrion Lannister--The Imp is either drunk or drinking in nearly every scene. Not only was he drunk at the Purple Wedding, which caused his exile; he was condemned for poisioning his nephew's wine. I think he deserves a spot near the top due to his small stature. He drank like a Giant.

6. Ser Dontos the Fool--This fool drank himself out of a life of Knighthood into one of mockery. If it wasn't for Sansa, he would have drank himself to death. Do you think that this loser ever stop drinking? Not Dontos the Fool....he was likely drunk when littlefinger gave him a red smile.

7. King Robert Baratheon--This guy is like a caricature of a gluttonous Medieval King (Henry VIIesque) HIs excessive drinking inevitably led to his whoring and outlandish spending habits. He was literally killed by wine (heavily fortified), a feat his presumed son would later mirror.

Fun thread. A few small nitpicks-- I think you mean King Bob was "Henry VIIIesque," rather than "Henry VIIesque," since Henry VII was actually something of a miserly stoic, more Stannis B. than Robert. Also, Henry VIII, though known for his gluttony and pleasure loving lifestyle, was never, as far as I know, an alcoholic (or had any major prob.'s with alcohol.)

Also-- are these characters in any particular order? Because if so, I think King Bob deserves a spot at the top of the list.

Edited by Queen Cersei I, 04 February 2012 - 02:12 AM.

[Apple Martini]

Queen Cersei I, on 04 February 2012 - 01:32 AM, said:

Fun thread. A few small nitpicks-- I think you mean King Bob was "Henry VIIIesque," rather than "Henry VIIesque," since Henry VII was actually something of a miserly aestetic, more Stannis B. than Robert. Also, Henry VIII, though known for his gluttony and pleasure loving lifestyle, was never, as far as I know, an alcoholic (or had any major prob.'s with alcohol.)

Also-- are these characters in any particular order? Because if so, I think King Bob deserves a spot at the top of the list.

Another nitpick. Robert is more like Edward IV. Aegon IV seems like the biggest Henry VIII parallel.

I'll show myself out.

P.S. In terms of holding your booze, it's the Greatjon, easily.

[redriver]

We have to rule Sandor out-he got pissed as a fart within 5 minutes of reaching the Inn.

Yeah,he won the fight,just about,and with the help of Arya.

Then begging for mercy?I reckon Arya drank him under the table anyhow.

[Grip]

The Greatjon and Robert I think are the strongest drinkers, I guess Thoros might come in on third place..Another strong contender must surely be Alebelly. Sure we havent seen him drinking (I think) nor heard of his adventures into the world of alcohol but with such a name he must be a top tier drinker. I mean he couldnt have been named for his big belly, right?

[Arkash]

I dont agree with you about Cersei !

For the others, yes, of course !

Aeron Greyjoy, in his youth seemed to be one hell

[just an Other]

"Asking the Greatjon not to drink would be akin to asking him not to breath for a couple of hours"

paraphrazing Lady Catelyn

[clover]

Just finished the tavern scene in SOS last night.

Blaming that on the a-a-alcohol!

Why, why did Sandor get drunk as a skunk? He recognized right away who they were and knew they were his brother's men. Arya smelt trouble immediately. Why put yourself in that position while you are trying to get Arya somewhere?

Okay a few sips but really...what a could have been avoided scenario. So sad!

[fluffywarthog]

clover, on 05 February 2012 - 12:24 PM, said:

Just finished the tavern scene in SOS last night.

Blaming that on the a-a-alcohol!

Why, why did Sandor get drunk as a skunk? He recognized right away who they were and knew they were his brother's men. Arya smelt trouble immediately. Why put yourself in that position while you are trying to get Arya somewhere?

Okay a few sips but really...what a could have been avoided scenario. So sad!

Sandor Clegane, even before that, is obviously depressed. His world's a giant cruel joke, his only family is a homicidal maniac and a sanctified Knight for it, and now his only hope in the world (ransoming Arya to the one faction he hasn't pissed off yet) is gone with the Red Wedding.

I'm really surprised he hadn't gone off the deep end sooner.

[The Swaggering Bravo]

Definitely Septon Cellador!

[The King in the South]

Well this list is pretty bleh.

Rober isn't 1/2, and you have Tyrion and Cersei over him

Also, where is Tormund?

[Drinking Cersei's Tears]

The numbering of your list is interesting.

[clover]

So true. Great insight. I had never even contemplated him being depressed. Angry, yeah, but...

[House of White and White]

There's one more that stands out, though. He's at the Wall, but durned if I can remember his name. Someone else will know.

[Queen Cersei I]

I think Cat and Ned had some serious trouble with alcohol as well. Indeed, 9/10ths of Ned Stark's mistakes in AGOT could have been avoided if he'd bothered to be sober even 1/2 of the time.

And Catelyn-- getting drunk and trying to seduce Littlefinger in the aftermath of Ned's downfall? Pathetic.

Of course, what really screwed up both Cat and Ned were their shameless sex addictions.

It's horrifying how these bad habits have traveled on to the next generation.

Robb: So... I got a girl knocked up... but, you know, i was really really drunk off my ass at the time, so what ya gonna do?

Jon: What, vows of celibacy? So that means I shouldn't be fucking Samwell Tarley, Grenn, Lord Comandor Mormont, and approximately 9/10's of the Wilding population, male and female? WTF? If our noble forfathers really didn't want us getting up to homosexual antics, why the fuck did they bother to provide us with JOINT BEDROOMS?

Arya: Just give me another drink, man. I tellin ya, just one more and I'll be fine cause I need it like a fat kid needs cake and i love beer please man please I'll put on any face and be anybody you want me to be I'll even kill for it goddammit I am a seriously sick little girl but with parents like mine what did you expect oh fuck it one more I beg of you just one more please dear god I can take it so okay

As for Riccon's moral experimentations and Bran's drunken belief that he can leave his body and possess that of foreign people and objects because he is the green dreamer (?)-- the less said the better. Though their sexual involvements with women roughly 3 times their age clearly reflect the perversions of their parents before them. (What, you actually bought that Old Nan was merely Ned's "former nanny"? Fools.)

And don't even get me started on the licentous, constantly drunken Sansa Stark, whose perversions reach a whole other level of frightening that puts even her parents to shame.

They say alcoholism and addictive behavior is genetic. For proof of this, one need look no further than the stark family.

Edited by Queen Cersei I, 05 February 2012 - 08:47 PM.

[Light a wight tonight]

Queen Cersei I, on 05 February 2012 - 08:44 PM, said:

I think Cat and Ned had some serious trouble with alcohol as well. Indeed, 9/10ths of Ned Stark's mistakes in AGOT could have been avoided if he'd bothered to be sober even 1/2 of the time.

And Catelyn-- getting drunk and trying to seduce Littlefinger in the aftermath of Ned's downfall? Pathetic.

Of course, what really screwed up both Cat and Ned were their shameless sex addictions.

It's horrifying how these bad habits have traveled on to the next generation.

Robb: So... I got a girl knocked up... but, you know, i was really really drunk off my ass at the time, so what ya gonna do?

Jon: What, vows of celibacy? So that means I shouldn't be fucking Samwell Tarley, Grenn, Lord Comandor Mormont, and approximately 9/10's of the Wilding population, male and female? WTF? If our noble forfathers really didn't want us getting up to homosexual antics, why the fuck did they bother to provide us with JOINT BEDROOMS?

Arya: Just give me another drink, man. I tellin ya, just one more and I'll be fine cause I need it like a fat kid needs cake and i love beer please man please I'll put on any face and be anybody you want me to be I'll even kill for it goddammit I am a seriously sick little girl but with parents like mine what did you expect oh fuck it one more I beg of you just one more please dear god I can take it so okay

As for Riccon's moral experimentations and Bran's drunken belief that he can leave his body and possess that of foreign people and objects because he is the green dreamer (?)-- the less said the better. Though their sexual involvements with women roughly 3 times their age clearly reflect the perversions of their parents before them. (What, you actually bought that Old Nan was merely Ned's "former nanny"? Fools.)

And don't even get me started on the licentous, constantly drunken Sansa Stark, whose perversions reach a whole other level of frightening that puts even her parents to shame.

They say alcoholism and addictive behavior is genetic. For proof of this, one need look no further than the stark family.

This is scarily well done. I salute you.

[Christina Ceriddwynn]

Just finished the tavern scene in SOS last night.

Blaming that on the a-a-alcohol!

Why, why did Sandor get drunk as a skunk? He recognized right away who they were and knew they were his brother's men. Arya smelt trouble immediately. Why put yourself in that position while you are trying to get Arya somewhere?

Okay a few sips but really...what a could have been avoided scenario. So sad!


Sandor got drunk right after he found out about Sansa marrying the Imp. Guess he didn't take the news very well.

[fluffywarthog]

Queen Cersei I, on 05 February 2012 - 08:44 PM, said:

I think Cat and Ned had some serious trouble with alcohol as well. Indeed, 9/10ths of Ned Stark's mistakes in AGOT could have been avoided if he'd bothered to be sober even 1/2 of the time.

And Catelyn-- getting drunk and trying to seduce Littlefinger in the aftermath of Ned's downfall? Pathetic.

Of course, what really screwed up both Cat and Ned were their shameless sex addictions.

It's horrifying how these bad habits have traveled on to the next generation.

Robb: So... I got a girl knocked up... but, you know, i was really really drunk off my ass at the time, so what ya gonna do?

Jon: What, vows of celibacy? So that means I shouldn't be fucking Samwell Tarley, Grenn, Lord Comandor Mormont, and approximately 9/10's of the Wilding population, male and female? WTF? If our noble forfathers really didn't want us getting up to homosexual antics, why the fuck did they bother to provide us with JOINT BEDROOMS?

Arya: Just give me another drink, man. I tellin ya, just one more and I'll be fine cause I need it like a fat kid needs cake and i love beer please man please I'll put on any face and be anybody you want me to be I'll even kill for it goddammit I am a seriously sick little girl but with parents like mine what did you expect oh fuck it one more I beg of you just one more please dear god I can take it so okay

As for Riccon's moral experimentations and Bran's drunken belief that he can leave his body and possess that of foreign people and objects because he is the green dreamer (?)-- the less said the better. Though their sexual involvements with women roughly 3 times their age clearly reflect the perversions of their parents before them. (What, you actually bought that Old Nan was merely Ned's "former nanny"? Fools.)

And don't even get me started on the licentous, constantly drunken Sansa Stark, whose perversions reach a whole other level of frightening that puts even her parents to shame.

They say alcoholism and addictive behavior is genetic. For proof of this, one need look no further than the stark family.

....Officer, I think I've just been trolled...and I counter with:

"Harry Potter, in a spiral of depression, turns to the escape of the world of miniature equine aficionada. He produces many a Wine-out-of-Nowhere Spell and is drunk every day before noon."

[The King in the South]

fluffywarthog, on 06 February 2012 - 07:25 PM, said:

....Officer, I think I've just been trolled...and I counter with:

"Harry Potter, in a spiral of depression, turns to the escape of the world of miniature equine aficionada. He produces many a Wine-out-of-Nowhere Spell and is drunk every day before noon."

You're not trolling though. Harry was always drinking stuff called butterBEER and fireWHISKEY.
Raging alcoholic if you ask me.

[Queen Cersei I]

The King in the South, on 06 February 2012 - 07:34 PM, said:

You're not trolling though. Harry was always drinking stuff called butterBEER and fireWHISKEY.
Raging alcoholic if you ask me.

Yes. Hogwarts was a simmering caldron of lust, teen pregnancy, underage drinking, and black magic. Rightly did the fundamentalists advice us away from such a seething pus filled volcano of a literary series.

Edited by Queen Cersei I, 06 February 2012 - 11:18 PM.