54 replies to this topic

[BondJamesBond]

In a perfect world, the following die as follows (fill in the blanks):

1.  Melisandre:
2.  Meryn Trant:
3.  Roose Bolton:
4.  Ramsay Bolton:
5.  "Urine" the "crows eye" greyjoy:
6.  Craster (or did he die?):
7. Illyn Payne:
8. Varys:
9. Qyburn:

Add anyone I've missed!  And, yes, Melisandre is a villain.  She killed Renly and likes to burn people alive.

Edited by BondJamesBond, 04 April 2012 - 12:49 AM.

[Maroucia]

What did Illyn Payne do to deserve to die??
He is the royal executioner; he’s just doing his job by killing people, that’s it. He’s not supposed to question the decisions of the King or the Queen…
I’m not a big fan of him, and would never want to spend more than 30 seconds with him, but I do enjoy his bromance with Jaimie, and would be kind of strangely sad if he died…

Edited by Maroucia, 04 April 2012 - 12:39 AM.

[Blue-eyed Onion]

Melisandre is not a villain. Renly had it coming, and the burning is not out of sadistic whim but out of religious belief imposed on her from childhood as a slave. Her apparent motivation seems actually 'heroic' and not 'villan-y'. (Whether she's wrong about it all or not remains to be seen)

[Silmarien]

Renly was a prick who had no claim to the throne.  Not that he deserved to die like that, but still, I never liked him.
1. Melisandre: Consumed by fire, dying the way she has sacrificed dozens, hundreds of other "sacrifices to the Lord of Light".  Taste of her own medicine.
2. Meryn Trant: Needle to the carotid or jugular.
3. Roose Bolton: Stabbed in the heart by the person he trusts most (Fat Walda?)
4. Ramsay Bolton: Flayed slowly body part by body part, and hung by chains in a dungeon until he dies of infection or blood loss.
5. "Urine" the "crows eye" greyjoy: Stabbed in his good eye - through to his brain.
6. Craster (or did he die?): He did die.  Axe to the head?  Chest?  Something like that.  Or stabbed.
7. Illyn Payne: Beheaded.
8. Varys: Tongue cut out, and beheaded.  I've nothing against Varys, so a quick death would do nicely especially if he's plotting for the Blackfyres.
9. Qyburn:  Killed by his own creation, painfully, messily - Ser Robert Strong.  Or, killed by Dornish poison similar to the way Ser Gregor died.  Yes, I like that one better, a slooooow agonizing death to repay him for all his hideous torture of Falyse, Senelle, the Blue Bard, and other innocents.

ETA: Wasn't sure why Ilyn Payne was on the list either, so I just chose the most ironic form of death - the executioner gets beheaded.  And it's a quick death - he hasn't done anything worthy of suffering greatly before kicking the bucket, IMHO.

Edited by Silmarien, 04 April 2012 - 12:44 AM.

[Silmarien]

Blue-eyed Onion, on 04 April 2012 - 12:40 AM, said:

Melisandre is not a villain. Renly had it coming, and the burning is not out of sadistic whim but out of religious belief imposed on her from childhood as a slave. Her apparent motivation seems actually 'heroic' and not 'villan-y'. (Whether she's wrong about it all or not remains to be seen)

I do agree with this statement.  I think Mel is trying to do what is right - even if it's morally wrong.  I just wanted to answer his whole list.

[BondJamesBond]

Ser Illyn seems to enjoy his job way, way too much.  Remember, he enjoyed fighting Jaime because he liked hurting him.  I vote that when Rickon ascends to the Iron Throne that he orders an undead (but missing depth perception) Jory Cassell to "bring me his head, Ser Jory!"

Also,Melisandre is a religious fantatic, the Rick Santorum of the game of thrones, if you will.  I vote she gets burned by Rheago, Drogon and Viseryion who make her into dragon BBQ.

Good list so far.  Keep them coming...

Edited by BondJamesBond, 04 April 2012 - 12:47 AM.

[Maroucia]

Varys: until I have proofs he is a villain, I'll never consider him as one. I believe him when he says he works for the good of the realm.

[Maroucia]

BondJamesBond, on 04 April 2012 - 12:43 AM, said:

Ser Illyn seems to enjoy his job way, way too much.  Remember, he enjoyed fighting Jaime because he liked hurting him.  I vote that when Rickon ascends to the Iron Throne that he orders an undead (but missing depth perception) Jory Cassell to "bring me his head, Ser Jory!"

You are right that he does seems to enjoy a little to much his job...but still, I don't know why, I can't find it in me to hate him. Strange but true...

[BondJamesBond]

Varys:  come on, he killed sir kevan, the one person who just wanted to bring order and who put Cersei in her place!

For Varys, I vote he gets it right after being revealed some incredible plot twist.  Possibly:

Jon Snow:  and I am the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna.

Varys:  crap, I never saw that coming.

Jon Snow:  now die!

[James Arryn]

1.  Melisandre: In the dark.
2.  Meryn Trant: Unnoticed.
3.  Roose Bolton: Yelling loudly.
4.  Ramsay Bolton: After a false reprieve.
5.  "Urine" the "crows eye" greyjoy: Blowing that horn.
6.  Craster (or did he die?): Eaten by small male children.
7. Illyn Payne: ......!
8. Varys: I ain't even mad.
9. Qyburn: At the hands of a big guy with no head.


Clearly I have a theme.

Edited by James Arryn, 04 April 2012 - 01:13 AM.

[BondJamesBond]

1.  Melisandre:  dragon BBQ

2.  Meryn Trant:  by orders of Sansa

3.  Roose Bolton:  by Ramsay, after declaring himself king in the north

4.  Ramsay Bolton: by Jon Snow, after being made to literally eat wolf droppings

5.  "Urine" the "crows eye" greyjoy:  fighting on land

6.  Craster (or did he die?):  if still alive, killed by an other who was one of his sons left to die

7. Illyn Payne:  by orders of Rickon hyped up on sugar

8. Varys:  after getting a great plot twist revealed

9. Qyburn:  by Ramsay

[Blue-eyed Onion]

BondJamesBond, on 04 April 2012 - 12:43 AM, said:

Also,Melisandre is a religious fantatic, the Rick Santorum of the game of thrones, if you will.  I vote she gets burned by Rheago, Drogon and Viseryion who make her into dragon BBQ.

Such oversimplification of that character... oh well.

As a side note, the dragons bore me, i wouldn't want any important character being killed by them, even the more despicable ones.

[James Arryn]

Blue-eyed Onion, on 04 April 2012 - 01:22 AM, said:

As a side note, the dragons bore me, i wouldn't want any important character being killed by them, even the more despicable ones.

What about other dragons?

[Blue-eyed Onion]

James Arryn, on 04 April 2012 - 01:23 AM, said:

What about other dragons?

An 'animal' fight? that'd be meh.

[James Arryn]

Blue-eyed Onion, on 04 April 2012 - 01:27 AM, said:

An 'animal' fight? that'd be meh.

Well, I tried.

You don't like dragons and you don't like animal fights?

Have you considered Austen?

[Blue-eyed Onion]

James Arryn, on 04 April 2012 - 01:28 AM, said:

Well, I tried.

You don't like dragons and you don't like animal fights?

Have you considered Austen?

Didn't know what you meant, so i googled Austen, first results Jane Austen the novelist, is that what you meant?

[James Arryn]

Blue-eyed Onion, on 04 April 2012 - 01:32 AM, said:

Didn't know what you meant, so i googled Austen, first results Jane Austen the novelist, is that what you meant?

Lol, yeah, but didn't mean it as bitchy as it reads on reflection. Just jokin.

[seeyouintee]

1. Melisandre: Far more potent if she was sacrificed to the drowned God.

3. Roose Bolton: Ramsey

6. Craster - completely unrelated, but I'd love to see Brienne and Craster have to chapter together, and discuss a woman's place.

8. Varys: Owns you. Don't threaten him. Don't even think of ways he might die...a little bird will tell him.,

[Blue-eyed Onion]

James Arryn, on 04 April 2012 - 01:34 AM, said:

Lol, yeah, but didn't mean it as bitchy as it reads on reflection. Just jokin.

I guessed as much. (hah, though i have never read any of her books, i actually rather liked that pride and prejudice movie )

On the topic of ASOIAF, i'd rather have 'human animal' fights any day.

[BondJamesBond]

Blue-eyed Onion, on 04 April 2012 - 01:22 AM, said:

As a side note, the dragons bore me, i wouldn't want any important character being killed by them, even the more despicable ones.

I agree about the dragons but I don't really see Mel as being an important character.  It's probably because i cant stand her and just want her to buy the farm so the story can progress without her

Edited by BondJamesBond, 04 April 2012 - 02:01 AM.