400 replies to this topic

[Chataya de Fleury]

...With all the hype surrounding "Fifty Shades of Grey", I was expecting a more modern "Story of O".  Alas, 'twas not to be.  There was a lot of "Twilight" and impossible perfection.  The fact that the main male character (Christian) was an uber-billionaire CEO, 27, single, and straight just...defies imagination.  Oh, and hot.  Let's not forget that.


Additionally, he's a fantastic piano player (though he rarely seems to practice), is in excellent shape (though we RARELY "see" him work out), and a CEO of a company that he's much too busy to run, because he's busy screwing the brains out of the female protagonist (Ana; which is just a fantastic play on words, because seh seems to be anorexic, what wither her forgetting to eat all the time).

This book could have been MUCH better had he seduced her to the "dark side".  Sadly, the S&M is really fairly vanilla, for all the toys and props.  Much better use could have been made of the "playroom".  But noooooo....she uses a safe word when he won't let her come, for pete's sake.  And what's worse is that the sex soon becomes very vanilla, as the characters get married after all of six weeks of fantastic sex.

Ok, I admit that when I was 21, I got married after 3 months of dating someone.  But really, people aren't supposed to do that nowadays.  Especially people living in larger cities, like Seattle.  Getting married right out of college and so quickly is what people from Podunk, like I was, do.

Here's how I envision a much better "Fifty Shades" -

He seduces her to the dark side, making her beg to be his submissive.  After a year of being his sub (and letting us see plenty of the more "Eyes Wide Shut" type of parties in Seattle/NY, etc), she rebels and wants more.  He refuses.  She leaves him, him giving her the dom equivalent of "frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

ANYTHING BUT ALL THAT VANILLA "ROMANCE".  Honeymoon in the south of France, my arse.  Bah.

[Grack21]

You know she wrote this as twilight fan fic originally. And not even the well meaning kind of fan fiction...the...dirty kind. How this got published..well....I'd say it blows my mind but I'm cynical lately.

[Marjie Eilie Myatt]

Never heard of it until I saw the SNL Mother's Day "commercials."

[Chataya de Fleury]

Grack21, on 06 May 2012 - 12:32 PM, said:

You know she wrote this as twilight fan fic originally.

Now things are starting to make a lot of sense...

[Serious Callers Only]

The tv zombies have feed and want more!

[Kynokephalos]

*blinks* Err...

[Lyanna Stark]

Chataya de Fleury, on 06 May 2012 - 12:53 PM, said:

Now things are starting to make a lot of sense...

Yeah, apparently she basically wrote it as a smutty Twilight fanfic, took it off the web, replaced the names and published it! It IS Twilight.

EDIT: Btw have you read the original? Is the writing as bad as Meyer's?

Edited by Lyanna Stark, 06 May 2012 - 02:51 PM.

[Chataya de Fleury]

I have not read the original Tighlight, or I would have probably picked up on the similarities before halfway through the book

Sad thing is, the writer DOES appear to have some raw talent, but it's clear that she's uncomfortable with her initial subject matter.  Seriously, the whole premise of the book was just...dragged down by this "now that we've found love, we must be/should be/WANT to be vanilla" angle that she's selling.

Oh - and, SCREAMINGLY bad, when Christian took pictures of what's-her-name while she was sleeping, she was "sucking her thumb."  Jesus, what adult sucks his or her thumb at night???  Especially one with perfect teeth - because thumb sucking and perfect teeth do not go together.

[Serious Callers Only]

Don't i know it sister.

protip: you can also recognize a thumb sucker by a characteristic callus on the top of the finger,

Edited by Serious Callers Only, 07 May 2012 - 06:55 PM.

[Triskele]

Newsweek had a cover story that was partly about this book.  It was basically saying that women really want to feel wanted.

[Lyanna Stark]

Chataya,

I'll almost have to read "50 shades..." now since I just forced my way through Twilight. It would be interesting to see which one is worse.The original was so bad it was nearly physically painful to read.   I was amazed at how that pile of donkey poo ever got published, let alone famous!

[Valkyrja]

So wait....its a Twilight fanfic rewritten to be about a perfect dude who is CEO of a company. Wow, that sounds like pretty much the boring book EVER.....


But seriously, is it a fantasy? Paranormal romance? How does even a Twilight (and yes I loathe that series)-based story come to sound so.....mundane?  

[Chataya de Fleury]

Valkyrja, on 11 May 2012 - 05:35 AM, said:

But seriously, is it a fantasy? Paranormal romance? How does even a Twilight (and yes I loathe that series)-based story come to sound so.....mundane?  

Just vanilla "romance", in genre.  Or "erotica".  There are no elements of fantasy or paranormal.  I suppose the goal was to bring "Twilight" to the masses who wouldn't read "silly stories about vampires".  And it's about sales...once everyone who wants to read Twilight has read it, what's a publisher to do?

I noticed it prominently displayed in the Memphis airport bookstore.

[Skunkbelly]

Well, if it's in the airport bookstore, it MUST be good, right?  

[Derfel Cadarn]

Waterstones have it on prominant display.  I didnt bother looking at it, glad now i didnt

[Valkyrja]

Chataya de Fleury, on 11 May 2012 - 09:22 AM, said:

Just vanilla "romance", in genre.  Or "erotica".  There are no elements of fantasy or paranormal.  I suppose the goal was to bring "Twilight" to the masses who wouldn't read "silly stories about vampires".  And it's about sales...once everyone who wants to read Twilight has read it, what's a publisher to do?

I noticed it prominently displayed in the Memphis airport bookstore.

Ah, gotcha. I saw it yesterday when I was at the book store.....and it was displayed prominently near the paranormal romance section, so I was extremely confused.

[Skunkbelly]

Chats: you could always read Whip Smart, Melissa Febos's memoir of being a dominatrix. It's not as titillating as it could be, but interesting nevertheless.

[Datepalm]

Oh christ. I read a bit of this, and then I skimmed a bit of it becuase it's bad form to fall asleep in a bookstore and really I just wanted to see how naughty these naughty bits are, and for the love of all that is holy, seriously?  This book is fucking terrible. Objectively, uncompromisingly terrible in every respect. I don't want to disparage the authentic tastes of women or bring an elitist literary mentality blah blah blah blah What the hell is going on out there in women's brains?!?! How can we get it out? It's got a 3.91 ranking on goodreads, for fucks sake.

[sologdin]

3.91 ranking on goodreads

well, that's an objective aesthetic determination that renders your subjective rant manifestly erroneous, then?

[Datepalm]

No. I'm right and they're wrong. It's that bad.

Actually, you should enjoy it - it's got a long legal contract the purpose of which's inclusion in the text in it's entirety is, as far as i can tell, sexual tittilation.