Characters you cannot take seriously
Posted 13 May 2012 - 04:48 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 04:49 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 04:50 PM
He just has a lisp.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 04:51 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 04:53 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:06 PM
I just... I don't know. Rickon Stark.
ROTFL - first you push his brother out the window, and then you complain about poor, crying orphan Rickon? Heartless, I say, heartless!
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:08 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:18 PM
I'm glad Bran didn't die, honestly. It could've been what pushed his creepy little brother to pagan wiccanism, or whatever else really unsettling kids dabble in these days.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:20 PM
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:27 PM
Sam. Don't get me wrong I love the fat little coward. But his character (in the books) is so outrageously cowardly and almost proud of that it's upsetting.
Daario. This guy is a cartoon character.
The warlocks. Should have instead been called the mysterious meth-heads. Scrawny, drug addicted wastes of time who pose absolutely no threat
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:27 PM
I remain somewhat aghast that Gerold Dayne, the, uh, Darkstar was supposed to be badass cool. He just leaps off the page as 'poser.'
I also have a hard time cramming the esoteric, creepy Faceless Men story-line with peeled faces and shifting identities into the real hard realpolitik of the rest of the story.
And don't even get me started on ANYONE with a 'z' in his or her name that is supposed to be involved in Dany's plot-lines. Who? Why do I care again? Can we just go back to lighting these people on fire?
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:33 PM
That's it exactly - Darkstar reminds me of an emo high school kids who wears all black to show how cool he is. He's the kind of person who thinks Spinal Tap was not only a real documentary, but they're the greatest band ever.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:37 PM
Well, if I was being honest, a certain 15 year old Daena might have been impressed with him, but that's neither here nor there, He's actualy just the Jordan Catalano of Sunspear High. He wears leather! He's dreamy and brooding! He's handsome and surly! He probably can't hold down a job or fold his own laundry!
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:49 PM
Thank you, Lady Hodor. He is a gross caricature, and even his lisping is wrongly written in parts. Absolutely loathe the character - sorry. I really do hope he's left out of the series.
Add to this - all fools. Patchface, Butterbumps etc.
But perhaps the biggest for me: Aeron Damphair - whom I nickname Aeron the Baptist. I'm re-reading Feast and his chapters get more Pythonesque. Sorry, George - can't help it. He's crying out for satire and parody, and Michael Palin really should be recording his chapters on the audio books as a spoof.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 05:51 PM
Daena - I love you. It's official!
Posted 13 May 2012 - 06:00 PM
It shames me to admit that I rather enjoyed the Dornish version of Fox Force Five. I keep hoping that the next Sand Snake they introduce will be a knife specialist who tells a bunch of jokes.
Posted 13 May 2012 - 06:02 PM
Tyrion Lannister - whenever he charges into battle and kills people right and left, I stop believing it
Daario, Darkstar, the Sand Snakes