372 replies to this topic

[DR Supporter]

I meant Jeyne Poole/Arya Stark.

Anyway

To: Euron Greyjoy

From: Nobody

I'm enjoying the time under the surface. Currently, my hand is on my hip as I'm lying under the water on my back, watching you from the deep. Of course, a pipe is in my mouth and it allows me to breathe.

Death from the deep,

Nobody

Edited by DR Supporter, 22 May 2012 - 01:14 PM.

[Gingerly Grumkin]

From: Brienne
To: Jaime
I love you, I love you, I love you
(Jaime speaks to Illyn Payne)
"The Kingslayers are famed in the eyes of gods and men, put it with the others."

From: Theon Greyjoy
To: Marillion
It could be worse

[Lord Yarwyck]

To: Luke Skywalker
From: Jaime Lannister

Go for it anyway.  Totally worth it.    

Yours in fraternity,

Ser Jaime Lannister, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard

[Lord Over]

From: Dr. Phil

To: Dany Stormborn

FWD: RE:Diagnosis


Dear Ms T,

Forwarded to you are the results intended per Mr. S. Barristan's request. Since we are unable to reach him at this time and you are listed as his closest kin, we would appreciate you forwarding this letter.

---

Dear Mr. B

I have looked over the various data, testmonies and accounts you have given me and I'm ready to submit my diagnosis. The patient, your 'daughter', in question, according to your accounts, have exhibited the following symptoms:

* Megalomania: Her near uncanny ability to remind you that she is the 'Blood of the Dragon', even regarding manners as menial as telling her to comb her hair.

* Acute Schizophrenia: Her problem with authority is a by-product of an abusive older male figure...possibly a family member. It is possible she may fear on-the-spot nipple pinching whenever someone dispenses advice.

* Crippiling Procrastination: Her nymphonia inflicted self-defeating attitude, inabiility to complete goals she sets out for herself, finding excuses to put off her chores suggests a much deeper psychological issue at hand. I will not be able to provide further insight without meeting the patient.

Suggestions: If the patient exhibits further signs such as pyromania, paranoia, inability to take responsibility for her actions, rampant logical fallacies, please commit the patient immediately.

Diagnosis: She is cuckoo for cocoa-puffs

Sincerely,

[DR Supporter]

To: Alayne Stone

From: Anonymos

Hi,

M here. I am writing this anonymosly cos I am afraid my crazy mother might find this. But it's true what I said, you're the daughter of Eddard Stark, old friend. For proof, check this attachment.

Sincerely,

Anonymos

Attached Files: The Family Tree of Lord Eddard Stark.html

P.S: See?

[Silver Spearwife]

To: Cersei Lannister
From: Jaime Lannister

My lady,

I know we have had our differences, but I want to say something sincere to you from the heart. I want you to know that when I go to sleep at night, you are the one I think of. I don't believe that will ever change. It's been too long since I've seen you and the memory of every harsh word or thought I ever directed at you still pains me.

Waiting to hear from you,
Jaime Lannister

-

To: Jaime Lannister
From: Cersei Lannister

Jaime,

Oh, Jaime, I knew you'd come back! I need you now, more than ever, and have always needed you. Please, return. I miss you so dearly. Promise me that we shall never fight like this again.

Your beloved Cersei

-

To: Cersei Lannister
From: Jaime Lannister

Cersei,

Shit. Bloody maester sent the raven to the wrong person. That was for Brienne.

Sorry, busy. See you when I get back to King's Landing, if you still have a head.

-Jaime

[Gingerly Grumkin]

From Grumkin
To Snark

Whitewalkers sighted past the wall, Dragons in Slaver's bay, Krakens in the narrow sea. LOL!!! Where do people come up with such ridiculous ideas?

[Lord Over]

From: Tommen Baratheon

To: Stannis Baratheon

Nuncle,

TV-You says he ate cats because he doesn't like them. That can't be true, can it?! You gave me a book titled 'To Serve Cat' for my birthday!


From: Stannis Baratheon

To: Tommen Baratheon

It's a cook book, you incest born abomination.


From: Tommen Baratheon

To: Stannis Baratheon

T___T

[DR Supporter]

To: Lord Walder Frey
From: Lady Stoneheart
Subject: Tytytyty

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Lady Stoneheart

P.S: Grub brub crub wrub brub prub!

[Summers Dragon]

To: Rickon & Osha
From: Bran & Co.
Subject: Just checking in

HODOR!  HODOR HODOR HODOR HODOR. HODOR?


P.S. Hodor says Hodor.

Bran The Awesome

[Serie]

Silver Spearwife, on 22 May 2012 - 02:45 PM, said:

To: Cersei Lannister From: Jaime Lannister[/size][/i] Cersei, Shit. Bloody maester sent the raven to the wrong person. That was for Brienne. Sorry, busy. See you when I get back to King's Landing, if you still have a head. -Jaime

Tommen Baratheon posted on Cersei's Lannister wall: "hey mommy, what's for dinner tonight?????"
Cersei Lannister commented on Tommen's Baratheon post: "Raven. Stuffed"

[romantic]

Grumpkin Ahai, on 22 May 2012 - 01:45 PM, said:

From: Theon Greyjoy
To: Marillion
It could be worse

[The Wood of the Morning]

From: The Others
To: Westeros


Sup.

[Dark Night Full of Ninjas]

This isn't mine. I heard this from this episode of the GOT Parody on YouTube, but I thought it was pretty funny, so I thought I'd share

To: Balon Greyjoy, King of the Iron Islands
From: Theon Greyjoy, Your heir, and Prince of Winterfell

Dear Father,

I have ignored your orders and attacked Winterfell. I scaled the walls of my old home and took the castle like a...coward...However, I lack the men to hold it? And I'll probably die screaming soon if you don't send help? I'm pretty stupid...

The hell's going on!? I didn't say any of this! LUWIN!

[sergendry]

From: Davos Seaworth
To: Stannis Baratheon

Please stop eating my ravens and reply to my letter instead.
Once more: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH SOME ONIONS??

PS! I stole this ship form the Redwynes. They're on to me, can you help me so they don't get my fingerprints?

[DR Supporter]

To: Freys

From: Brotherhood

Wassup?

Things here are awesome. Before her death (at your hands) our leader was of noble blood. How many outlaws have a leader that was of noble blood? Not many, trust me. And most certainly not you.
You all are worst cowards in Westerosi, and in Essos as well! Not to mention that you're insolent and violative. You welcome guests into your house and then kill those very guests. Really? How barbaric. We would never do that. Our guests get good treatment, all of them. We honor Stark children like deities.

The only guests we kill are the ones that deserve it.  And they will receive no mercy. Robb Stark is squirming in his grave, our leader is restless, our remaining ravens are screeching really loudly. And all of those things mean you have it coming!

See you REAL soon

With death,

Brotherhood

[Dr. Pepper]

To: Jaime Lannister
From: Ilyn Payne

Re: Secrets  

Bet you didn't realize I knew how to write.  What?  You think just because they cut out my tongue that I'm too stupid to learn?  Fool.  Guess what?  Now I know all of your secrets!  Guess what else?  I also know that I can beat you in a sword fight.  Hahahaha. If you want me to keep your secrets, do as I say.  I received a Valyrian steel sword for my services after I chopped off Lord Stark's head.  It was the first time you assholes thought to pay me.  I rather liked that sword and then your father took it from me and made two swords out of it.  You're going to get them back and return them to me or I'll tell the realm EVERYTHING.  And then I'll chop off your head.

Sincerely,
The Literate Tongue-less Executioner, Ser Ilyn Payne

[DR Supporter]

From: Cersei Lannister
To: Jaime Lannister
Subject: My new sex toy

Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane...........
Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane

Love,

Cersei

[Pellaeon]

DR Supporter, on 23 May 2012 - 04:47 AM, said:

From: Cersei Lannister To: Jaime Lannister Subject: My new sex toy Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane........... Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Gregor Clegane Love, Cersei

From: Jaime Lannister
To: Cersei Lannister
Subject: You find a new sextoy too?

She is taller than Clegane, and has a better character
oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne, oh Brienne,oh Brienne, oh Brienne

Love you

Jaime

ps.: what happend with Kettleback and moonboy?

[Lord Over]

The Wood of the Morning, on 22 May 2012 - 08:38 PM, said:

From: The Others To: Westeros Sup.

From: Westeros

To: The Others

Too busy killing each other, gonna have to put you on hold

Edited by Lord Over, 23 May 2012 - 06:22 AM.