373 replies to this topic

[DR Supporter]

From: Theon Greyjoy

To: Myrcella Baratheon

Your smile makes me hot and my heart skips a beat every time I see you. Your hair is like a sun. Your body makes me drool. Your compassion knows no boundaries. I want you to be mine forever. Sun pales in comparison to you, and not even the brightest light can compare to your smile. I became an assasin just so I could have you, and I slaughtered Trystane Martell and his guards just so I could have you for me. Surely you can forget about him and turn to me, my golden angel. If you don't, I will kill myself as well, along with you, so we can be together in after life. Your sun still floats in the sky.

Sincerely,

Theon Greyjoy, a man in love

[Eira Seren]

very sorry, will have to fiddle with my image to make it work.  anyone know how to paste in a pic created in paint?  thanks!

Edited by Eira Seren, 27 May 2012 - 05:29 AM.

[Silver Spearwife]

You could post a link to the picture, if using the image button in the editor doesn't work (I wouldn't know, never tried it). You'll probably have to upload it to an image hosting site first, though, regardless.

[Eira Seren]

thanks for your help!  i've discovered we can't insert pics in posts.  so here goes, with a link:

To: Cersei
From: No One
Re: Fun Game

Keep TryiNg!

[IMG]http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/2929/funnyletter2.jpg[/IMG]

Edited by Eira Seren, 28 May 2012 - 02:56 AM.

[DR Supporter]

From: Myrcella Lannister

To: Alayne Stone

Subject: Your Real Father

Your father=Eddard Stark
Your father=Eddard Stark
Your father=Eddard Stark

Get it into your head. Your father is Eddard Stark! How come you don't remember? We were friends, we were sewing together. And now you don't remember me nor do you remember who your father was? Why?!

Sincerely,

Myrcella

[Lord Over]

Dear Ser and Lady,

You are hereby lured invited

For a celebration of love, heh friendship,hah laughter, heh and family

as

The Bait Bride

Roslin Frey

and

The fool Bridegroom
Edmure 'douchebag' Tully

Join their hands in unholy massacretrimony

Friday 13th, 300AL
6:06 o'clock in the evening
The Twins

Wedding Planner:

Nanny Twirliest

Wedding Photographer:

Patchface

Priest:

Ramsay Bolton

Music by:

The Rolling heads Stones

Catering services:

We'll be serving ale that has a killer taste

followed suit by refreshments that are to die for

For the main dish, we have a leg of lamb of a different cut

with a really sharp taste that has a strong point

There will be guts, spleens and, for those who like

a little blood in their food, hearts.

Desserts will include lemon cakes that will slay you

We sincerely hope you grace us with your

presence.

Sincerely,

Walder, heh heh, Frey

Edited by Lord Over, 28 May 2012 - 11:29 AM.

[DR Supporter]

Quote

Dear Ser and Lady,

You are hereby lured invited

For a celebration of love, heh friendship,hah laughter, heh and family

as

The Bait Bride
Roslin Frey

and

The fool Bridegroom
Edmure 'douchebag' Tully

Join their hands in unholy massacretrimony


Friday 13th, 300AL
6:06 o'clock in the evening
The Twins


Wedding Planner:
Nanny Twirliest

Wedding Photographer:
Patchface

Priest:
Ramsay Bolton

Music by:
The Rolling heads Stones


Catering services:
We'll be serving ale that has a killer taste
followed suit by refreshments that are to die for
For the main dish, we have a leg of lamb of a different cut
with a really sharp taste that has a strong point
There will be guts, spleens and, for those who like
a little blood in their food, hearts.
Desserts will include lemon cakes that will slay you

We sincerely hope you grace us with your
presence.

Sincerely,

Walder, heh heh, Frey

From: Catelyn Stark & Robb Stark

To: Lord Walder Frey

Dear sir _pig,

we must refuse, because we don't want to insult your honor _{douchebaggery}. We deeply apologize for Jeyne Westerling. She is the worst _best thing that happened to us. We are deeply sorry for this inconvinience, and we are feeling miserable _{in high spirits}

Sorry. _Huzzah!

Catelyn Stark & Robb Stark

[Silver Spearwife]

This thread deserves a revival, too.


Classifieds

Wanted: human head.
Preferably large and from someone not very smart.
Needed to complete long-term project.
Contact Qyburn at Red Keep.


You have 1 reply

To: Maester Qyburn
From: Lord Commander Jon Snow

I'm not sure if I read that right, but did you say you want a human head? In any case, I have one. It's not exceptionally large, but the brain inside it wasn't of much use. I used a Valyrian blade, so the cut is relatively clean, and the ice keeps things preserved fairly well. He was a known face in King's Landing, though, so I'm unsure if that's an issue. We could very much use the gold, so this is much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Lord Commander Jon Snow

[RoamingRonin]

FROM: @wegotussomemedicalwaste.com
TO: @maesterbater (Master Qyburn)

While we appreciate your interest in necromancy and recreational human torture, we must sadly deny your request for the following:

2 - white men (normal height, build)
1 - fat man (any race)
15 - young nubile maidens
1 - corpse (Wights need not apply)
1 - guy of any height, age or weight but with a really large head, I'm talking huge.

We suggest you try our competitors or perhaps search your local cemetery for your necessities. We also highly recommend you seek professional help because what the fuck?

Sincerely,

W.G.U.S.M.W.

Edited by RoamingRonin, 06 June 2012 - 10:24 PM.

[Bourne]

DR Supporter, on 28 May 2012 - 03:14 AM, said:

From: Myrcella Lannister

To: Alayne Stone

Subject: Your Real Father

Your father=Eddard Stark
Your father=Eddard Stark
Your father=Eddard Stark

Get it into your head. Your father is Eddard Stark! How come you don't remember? We were friends, we were sewing together. And now you don't remember me nor do you remember who your father was? Why?!

Sincerely,

Myrcella

Someone may have covered this before... but what the hell is your thing with Myrcella? I'm pretty sure you've built her up to be a lot of things she's not.

[Silver Spearwife]

Bourne, on 06 June 2012 - 10:43 PM, said:

Someone may have covered this before... but what the hell is your thing with Myrcella? I'm pretty sure you've built her up to be a lot of things she's not.

Honestly, I was wondering that, too...

[Ladyfinger]

ATTN: Knights and Sellswords.

SER, I got your reliable contact through the information received from the Iron Bank of Braavos who have been of great assistance to my immediate family since our departure from Westeros. I am Princess D. Stormborn Targaryen , daughter of King Aerys II former King of Westeros. I would save your time by not amplifying my royal family history which has already been disseminated by the bards and maesters during the controversial dispute that erupted between my father and his cousin the new King of Westerosi Robert 'The Round' Baratheon.

As you may wish to know, the King accused my father of insanity and mismanagement and impropriety. Furthermore my father was killed. However during this gory period,I was evacuated along with my surviving immediate family outside the seven kingdoms to avoid further deaths from the king and his network of security operatives.

After subsequent deliberations, we have decided to return and offer you  a lordship as compensations for your anticipated cooperation.Please kindly note that my family has been humiliated and jeopardized by this unfortunate incident, but will count on your utmost considerations towards the actualization of this return from  abroad. Finally I look forward to your prompt response through my private ravens.

May the Seven bless.

I remain, yours sincerely,
Daenerys Stormborn

[DR Supporter]

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Dear Father,

How are things going on in on the Wall? I kind of miss you and it can get pretty lonely here. We do all kinds of things to pass time, but ultimately we need you here. Also, I've noticed you are never here for me, because you're too busy with state affairs to even think of me or be with me. Father, why don't you care for me? Is it because of you-know-what? I know that you loved me when I was born, so it's probably that. Still, we should try to be more of the family, you and I.

Sincerely,

S.

[Alia of the knife]

Eira Seren, on 28 May 2012 - 02:32 AM, said:

thanks for your help!  i've discovered we can't insert pics in posts.  so here goes, with a link:

To: Cersei
From: No One
Re: Fun Game

Keep TryiNg!

[IMG]http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/2929/funnyletter2.jpg[/IMG]

I just spat my wine all over the keyboard, lol.
Love it!

[iheartseverus]

DR Supporter, on 26 May 2012 - 06:08 AM, said:

From: Theon Greyjoy

To: Myrcella Baratheon

Your smile makes me hot and my heart skips a beat every time I see you. Your hair is like a sun. Your body makes me drool. Your compassion knows no boundaries. I want you to be mine forever. Sun pales in comparison to you, and not even the brightest light can compare to your smile. I became an assasin just so I could have you, and I slaughtered Trystane Martell and his guards just so I could have you for me. Surely you can forget about him and turn to me, my golden angel. If you don't, I will kill myself as well, along with you, so we can be together in after life. Your sun still floats in the sky.

Sincerely,

Theon Greyjoy, a man in love

What is your deal with little Myrcella, dude?  You're creeping out the whole thread.  Blargh...  

[DR Supporter]

I want her to have a romantic interest, and judging from her personality, Theon should fit the bill. I don't care if he's older, he can be hers and she his. (when she grows up a little)

Also. what about my other letter?

[Alia of the knife]

To: Essos Night Watch
  612 Main Street, Route 122A
  Essos, Essos

From: QUEEN Danaerys Targaryen

Dear Sers,

I am scheduled to appear in Essos District Court Next Week at 8:45 a.m. for a hearing on citation # Hxxxx129.

Please provide  complete disclosure of the case against me, including the Watchmans notes of the investigation, copy of Watchman Carl Crapmans log book for the period he was operating the sorcerous device that captured this bogus image, make, model, service record and colloboration record of both raven and said device used to measure speed in the alledge offense, copies of Wachman Carl Crapmans raven training and range qualification scores, the name and address of any expert that may testify about the use of such sorcery to measure speed, and/or the court cse number(s) that provide documentation of the accuracy of the involved raven.

As I stated before, after leaving the club, my Dragon and I were tired, so we just wanted to get home.

As for the obnoxious behavior of my vehicle, what can I say?

I require timely disclosure in order to make full answer and defense to the charge.
Please send all information to:
90210 Kings Landing

Thank You for Your Assistance.

Sincerely,
Danaerys Targaryen.

P.S. How long will it take to get rid of the points?

Edited by Alia of the knife, 09 June 2012 - 06:02 AM.

[DR Supporter]

From: Alayne Stone

To: Robb Arryn

CC: Maester Colemon, Yohn Royce

Subject: Get ready

Tonight is the night. Tonight we escape. I will give Lord Protector a large doze of dreamwine, so by the time he knows we're gone, it'll be too late to stop us.
We will follow my husband's footsteps and go to Braavos. From there, we will try to win the favor of Dragon Queen so we will survive.

And remember, we will win, and we won't die.

Sincerely,

Alayne Stone

P.S: Happy birthday, my cousin.

[Queen of Spades]

DR Supporter, on 07 June 2012 - 02:14 AM, said:

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Dear Father,

How are things going on in on the Wall? I kind of miss you and it can get pretty lonely here. We do all kinds of things to pass time, but ultimately we need you here. Also, I've noticed you are never here for me, because you're too busy with state affairs to even think of me or be with me. Father, why don't you care for me? Is it because of you-know-what? I know that you loved me when I was born, so it's probably that. Still, we should try to be more of the family, you and I.

Sincerely,

S.

That's so sad...

[Buckwheat]

From: Sansa Stark
To: Arya Stark

Re: Dear sister ...

Dear Arya,

I have finally found out where you are now. I have no idea how you came to Braavos, but it does not matter now - the important thing is, you are alive. I hope you enjoy your time there, I know you always wanted to travel to foreign lands, so I suppose you are having fun.

I am in the Vale, where Lord Baelish - Littlefinger, surely you remember him from court, took me after I escaped King's Landing. My engagement to Joffrey was annulled, but later they married me to Tyrion Lannister. I thank the gods every day that I am free of him now. Petyr wishes to marry me to the heir to the Vale, whish does not sound as bad as the prospect of marrying Joffrey was.

I had a lot of time to think since we last saw each other, and I believe we should forget our childhood arguments and quarrels after all these months. I no longer blame you for the death of my she-direwolf - that was the fault of Joffrey, the queen, the king, and myself, who was so blind as to not see the faults in Joffrey and his family. I sincerely hope that you forgive me for losing Nymeria as well, and for all the faults I have made you, and the words I have thrown at you. When all of our family is dead, the rest of us should stick together.

I want to write everything that happened in between, but Petyr might be coming any minute - I do not think he would be happy to see me writing to you - so I would just express my wish to see your reply as soon as possible.

With lots of sisterly love,

Sansa