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San/San Question


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#221 Queen Cersei I

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 12:32 AM

View PostFuzzyJAM, on 25 May 2012 - 06:35 AM, said:

Kittykatknits and SerMixalot, you're ignoring the fact that GRRM says he has a very clear idea of what his characters look like (uninfluenced by anything else, including the show) and he says he finds his 15 year old characters super hot.  You can argue he has imagined her as a 20 year old or something despite the 5 year gap never happening, but that's just. . .well, I mean, maybe?  I guess?  Nothing suggests as much.

View PostFuzzyJAM, on 25 May 2012 - 06:48 AM, said:

I'm explaining where the "ickiness" comes from - it comes from GRRM's writing and portrayal of his characters, which matches his own views on them.  Maybe those views are based on GRRM having contradicting view of his characters as opposed to any potential desire for adolescents, sure, but the fact is that it still comes directly from GRRM's writing.

Well, speaking about the text itself rather than the individual preference of any person: there is also extensive evidence that the text itself portrays 12 year old girls as super hot. And certainly 13 year olds. There are characters of these ages (inevitably female) who are sexualized quit a bit, IMO.

Edited by Queen Cersei I, 26 May 2012 - 12:36 AM.


#222 brashcandy

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 12:51 AM

View PostQueen Cersei I, on 26 May 2012 - 12:28 AM, said:


From a certain light, it almost looks as though with the Hound thing, Sansa has been shown that those hot, tall, popular, athletic guys are all really jerks; it’s the unattractive underdogs that she should go for. Not that I have a huge problem with the Sansa/ Sandor thing, because unlike Tyrion, she is actually attracted to Sandor. However, the whole relationship has overtones of the beauty and the beast thing; in which the gorgeous, popular girl “realizes” that all the hot, popular guys she’s attracted to are creeps, and the real prince is the anti-social, not conventionally attractive, somewhat beastly guy she never thought she’d go for. Revenge of the nerds, in a way.

Yes, had Martin not been careful, the relationship could have easily played into that tired trope, and of course it never will fully escape the beauty/beast comparisons. But it really helps that he complicated it in such a way so that we never feel as though it's about Sansa coming to see Sandor as "really wonderful", although she does appreciate him as time goes on. In terms of Sansa's relationship with men, I've always felt that it helped that we saw her rejecting one beast (Tyrion), failing to secure another (Willas) and slowly discovering her feelings for the one who's perhaps most beastly in temperament. Whatever we can say about Sandor, he's definitely not a nerd :)

#223 Jolene Brown

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 12:55 AM

I think the existence of the somewhat parallel Jaime/Brienne relationship helps keep it from being too one-sided, although I think Jaime/Brienne has more likelihood of becoming specifically romantic than Sandor/Sansa.  But it's not all pretty girls have to learn to appreciate ugly boys; it works both ways, although in both cases, that's a simplification of enormously complex relationships anyway.

#224 FuzzyJAM

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 01:23 AM

View PostQueen Cersei I, on 26 May 2012 - 12:32 AM, said:

Well, speaking about the text itself rather than the individual preference of any person: there is also extensive evidence that the text itself portrays 12 year old girls as super hot. And certainly 13 year olds. There are characters of these ages (inevitably female) who are sexualized quit a bit, IMO.
Sure.  I was countering the potential "It's a representation of values and thoughts at the time, not how the author thinks", which to some extent could work were it not for the fact that GRRM has made it clear outwith the novels that he finds his adolescent females attractive.  

To be honest, I find the whole sexual aspect of ASoIaF a little bit. . .off.

Edited by FuzzyJAM, 26 May 2012 - 01:23 AM.


#225 romantic

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 02:06 AM

Off-topic slightly but I've always imagined the reaction of various characters if/when they discover that Sansa likes/trusts/connects(whatever the right word is?) with Sandor:-

Tyrion - but he's uglier than me!
LF - but he's lower-born than me!
Cersei - I bet she's slept with him! or Is she more beautiful than me?
Arya (and less face it almost everybody else) - ?!?!

Edited by romantic, 26 May 2012 - 02:07 AM.


#226 Rapsie

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 04:05 AM

View PostQueen Cersei I, on 25 May 2012 - 10:51 PM, said:

<snip>
I think that this sort of illustrates how, despite claims to the contrary, people often feel threatened by female sexual selection, female choice. It’s okay and natural for guys (like Tyrion and others) to love women for their looks alone, and want only the hottest ones. But when girls do the same, it’s petty, shallow, and immature. <snip>

View Postbrashcandy, on 25 May 2012 - 11:50 PM, said:

<snip>

:agree: This and so much so. Also everything in the snipped bits.

Sansa's character is still continuously derided by many for recognising her own beauty and for being attracted to handsome men as opposed to Tyrion. It seems that it is perfectly fine for men to want and be deserving of a super hot girl, especially if they feel undervalued by others, but it is not okay the other way round. Although to an extent the same argument and "ugly duckling" trope is trotted out repeatedly about Arya and how when she grows older, she will be the "true" beauty, but will never see it or acknowledge it as she is better than that.

Sansa's desire to be Queen is criticized by many and viewed as a very Machiavellian goal which she betrays her family in order to achieve. Dany too, receives criticism for her "entitlement issues" in wanting to reclaim her birth right and scorn for choosing a lover who is essentially a handsome rogue (despite having no delusions about his intentions). Contrast this to Tyrion, whose desire for the incredibly beautiful wife, and his own sense of entitlement to be Lord of Casterly Rock are viewed by many as valid claims and therefore any method he employs to achieve these goals are "badass" regardless of who is hurt. Shae's betrayal of him is often painted as death worthy, but his "love" of her is seen as sweet and endearing by many. While on the other hand Sansa not seeing through Joff and Cersei immediately is repeatedly condemned. Tyrion is defended for not seeing the true Shae because he loved her etc while Sansa being in love with Joff is stupid and Dany choosing her own Shae (Daario) somehow lessens her despite her knowing he only wants her because she is a Queen. In all these scenarios it seems the women are to blame.

Looking again at Sansa's initial crush on Joff. She is viewed as idiotic as opposed to her clever brother and sister Jon and Arya, who immediately take a dislike to Joff (They also mock Tommen who is probably one of the sweetest children in the series but no one seems to mind that). When as a scared 11 year old Sansa is put into a situation that even her father feels as tense and hostile and asked to speak up in front of a room full of Lannister retainers, because she stutters "I don't remember" instead of immediately telling what happened (which as a side note I don't think would have done Arya many favours, especially if The Hedge Knight is anything to go by) she is vilified as a traitor.

The fact that she doesn't get a chance to get another word out because the naturally distressed Arya immediately physically attacks her is never brought into question. To many, Sansa the 11 year old is clearly the one who has the greatest moral culpability, followed of course by Cersei. Both the other adult men in the room Ned and Robert are clearly powerless to intervene or even in Ned's case to say to Sansa "tell them what you told me". It bothers me more that Ned does not come to the defence of either daughter in this situation and leaves them both floundering helplessly, nor does he break the engagement to Joff, or more sensibly send both girls home, but rarely is this taken issue with.

The author has tried to go for as authentic a medieval setting as possbile (although I would debate some of thing such as the character's ages as being authentic), however readers often react to incidents with a modern outcome in mind: if Sansa had told the truth Joff would have been punished. Whereas if Sansa had told the truth, Arya may well have been in more trouble as she hit the Crown Prince twice and her wolf attacked him. As a Crown Prince, his hurting a peasant would likely not have been critisized.

View PostQueen Cersei I, on 26 May 2012 - 12:28 AM, said:

Not that I have a huge problem with the Sansa/ Sandor thing, because unlike Tyrion, she is actually attracted to Sandor. However, the whole relationship has overtones of the beauty and the beast thing; in which the gorgeous, popular girl “realizes” that all the hot, popular guys she’s attracted to are creeps, and the real prince is the anti-social, not conventionally attractive, somewhat beastly guy she never thought she’d go for. Revenge of the nerds, in a way.

I've always hated that trope.

Sansa's character has developed incredibly since AGOT and she does no longer judge a book by it's cover as it were. However being more aware that looks are deceiving should not negate the desire to have a partner who is not only desirable as a person, but also physically desirable.

Tyrion wants Sansa because she is highborn and beautiful, but he is very dismissive of her interests and her personality. Sansa was prepared to look past Tyrion's physical features, but she doesn't seem to like his personality or the fact he has made her into a Lannister. I don't like the Tyrion and Sansa pairing because of what he did to her, thinks of her, never acknowledges his culpability in her situation and because her character would be reduced to a reward for the deserving hero.

Sandor on the other hand does actually like her as a person as well as finding her beautiful. Then we have Sandor himself. Whilst half is face is scarred and the other half is average looking, the rest of him being muscled like a bull, very tall etc are physically attractive traits. He does not entirely fit the trope as he is physically desirable. It's Sandor's rage issues that are the main problem with him and hopefully they are getting dealt with on the QI. He also feels genuine remorse over his treatment of her and despair at how she has been treated. EDIT: Which in itself is another type of trope in line with Jane Eyre / Mr Rochester, Rebecca and Brian de Bois Gilbert or Lizzie Hexham/ Eugene Rayburn.

One of the reasons I like the pairing is that he genuinely cares about her and she is subconsciously attracted to him. In this situation she is not a reward to the deserving male hero. The mutual interest is what makes the relationship appealing (although the age thing is a real mess on the author's part). Saying that were Sansa's character to meet and like Harry the Heir, or Pod or (F)Aegon, I would prefer she ends up with someone whom she likes and likes her as a person and is not a reward for any male character.

Edited by Rapsie, 26 May 2012 - 04:25 AM.


#227 Kittykatknits

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 07:40 AM

View PostQueen Cersei I, on 25 May 2012 - 10:51 PM, said:

Actually, quite a few people not only take the Tyrion/ Sansa “relationship” seriously, they are offended by Sansa’s rejection of him (both sexually and otherwise) and hold it up as evidence of her shallowness. Interestingly, it is often noted sardonically (by many people) that “Sansa only likes pretty boys.” (Apparently, it is forgotten that Tyrion, ugly himself, will only sleep with young and beautiful women, mocks all ugly females, even after they’ve been raped, and that his primary reason for “loving” Sansa is her beauty.) Some people often argue that Sansa’s “Moral turnaround/ redemption” can and will come around by her putting her "shallow standards" aside, and coming to love Tyrion, who clearly deserves to be loved by a gorgeous young girl.

According to this line of thinking, her sexual rejection of him is something she must rethink, and will, once she grows up/ matures/ grows less shallow. (Again, no words on Tyrion’s shallowness; apparently ugly guys can be shallow, hate all ugly females, and simultaneously hope/ expect gorgeous teen girls will look past their own ugly male demeanors, and see the worthy lover within.) In other words, Sansa will “grow up” and “redeem herself” by giving up all her sexual and romantic standards (which are, once again, no more shallow than Tyrion’s or other countless male characters) and giving love and sex to the ugly male character that countless readers relate to.
<snip>
However, I do think he is, to a certain extent, responsible for a portrayal of Sansa as somewhat “shallow” in her preferences; though she is in fact far less so than Tyrion, who will only consider pretty girls, but whose preferences are always presented as normal/ natural. For instance, in the first book Sansa’s attraction to the beautiful Joffrey is, at best, portrayed with a highly condescending indulgence; Sansa is made to look silly, childish, naïve, and rather insipid for loving joff for his looks. (As one Sansa hater put it, “She betrayed her father for a dreamy prince.”) However, Tyrion’s “love” for Shae for THE EXACT SAME REASONS at the age of 25 or so is portrayed with great sympathy. Regardless of whether or not one personally agrees with how sympathetic Tyrion came off, I’d argue that GRRM portrays his feelings with earnestness and sympathy, and not a hint of condescension or distain. With Sansa, these feelings are all over the place.
First, I completely agree with everything you say.
Proponents for the marriage between Sansa and Tyrion seem to have either two basic arguments, they should stay together for political reasons or that when Sansa is "older,wiser, less shallow" she will see that Tyrion is a good guy and will want to be with him. As to the first point, there is quite a bit of evidence in the text to show this not to be the case. In fact, I'd say that Martin does a pretty decent job of showing how arranged marriages, especially forced ones, are not all that effective. An alliance of Stark and Lannister via their marriage would do very little for Westeros as a whole or the North and Westerlands specifically. As to the second point, you dispute those reasons wonderfully.

View PostSerMixalot, on 25 May 2012 - 11:21 PM, said:

I believe you mischaracterize GRRM as gently mocking sansa's love interests. I find them charming and adorable because I never lose sight of Sansa's youth and innocence.  She hasnt experienced enough life to develope more sophisticated interests in the opposite sex so she is attracted to the embodiment of the stories that she grew up with.  That seems healthy and normal to me.  Especially when compared to the warped view of sexuality and interpersonal relationships that Tyrion expresses.
From comments made on this board on a regular basis, you are a minority. Sansa is mocked for falling for the pretty prince and vilified as being stupid for it.

View Postbrashcandy, on 25 May 2012 - 11:50 PM, said:

Tell this to the legion of fans who criticise her for not being able to see through Joffrey, and for being a foolish girl in love. I guess some of us might still be able to appreciate Sansa's characterization in AGOT, but I do think Queen Cersei made a legitimate point about GRRM being a bit too heavy handed at times in his portrayal, especially as it relates to the opposite characterisation of Arya, who eschews feminine pursuits and is definitely NOT interested in marriage. One scene in AGOT that always makes me raise my eyebrows is after Ned's attack when Jory is killed, and Sansa seemingly has no real reaction to this; she's much more interested in looking at Jory's replacement and is annoyed that her father didn't send the handsome Ser Loras to capture the Mountain. It was like GRRM was bending over backwards to paint Sansa as REALLY shallow, and it doesn't jive with what we actually know of her IMHO.
Yes to the bolded part!!!

I seem to be a little late to the discussion but I'm butting in with a couple thoughts anyways.

The most hated characters in the entire fandom are Sansa, Cersei, Dany, and Catelyn. No male character receives even a fraction of the crititcism that these four do. They are also the four that stray the farthest from the warrior princess trope commonly found in the science fiction and fantasy genres as well. The "hot chick who can kick-ass" is a large part of popular culture right now. Off the top of my head, I can think of Buffy, Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider series, and the Resident Evil movies. Superficially, these are women who are capable of killing the bad guys and protecting themselves - just like the warrior princess. But, I find them to be non-threatening characters to patriarchy. They are beautiful women who choose to fight in masculine ways. They assimilate to masculine values rather than try to make change.  This is why characters like Briene, Asha, and Arya receive so little criticism. Shouldn't Asha go home to her husband, after all she was married to him, it should't matter that it was against her will? Why isn't Brienne doing what her father says and getting married?

In the past 24 hours alone, I have seen posts stating that Cersei deserves to be raped, Catelyn is responsible for the war of the five kings, Dany is a slut, and Sansa is a horrible person for not kneeling at her wedding to Tyrion. The only other characters who receive even close to this level of hate are Daario and Darkstar and even those comments are made with a level of mocking and humor.

On the whole, I do appreciate that Martin has included such a wide variety of female characters in his books. In many ways, I think he does a great job at portraying his characters with compassion and sympathy where it is deserved. However, I think he came up short when it came to Tyrion, Sansa, and Cersei. We all know that Tyrion is Martin's favorite character, in fact Martin has said that Tyrion is very easy for him to write. Yet, he is written in such as way that his wit and self-pity tend to spawn only sympathy from readers with only a superficial condemnation of his many terrible actions at best. As to Cersei, I admit she has done many horrible things. I also believe she is guilty of many crimes and should be punished for them. But, reading her POVs in AFFC leads many to vilify and demonize her for her sexuality. She receives very little sympathy for being the victim of sexual and domestic violence from her husband. Cersei also shows us how the male-dominated martial society of Westeros can victimize women yet many readers fail to take note of this fact. As for Sansa, all of you have done a great job already of explaining the shortcomings on how she has been written, I don't rally have anything to add other than my total agreement.

Also, for the record, I actually love Buffy. A lot.

#228 Kittykatknits

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 07:51 AM

View PostFuzzyJAM, on 26 May 2012 - 01:23 AM, said:

<br />
Sure.  I was countering the potential &quot;It&#39;s a representation of values and thoughts at the time, not how the author thinks&quot;, which to some extent could work were it not for the fact that GRRM has made it clear outwith the novels that he finds his adolescent females attractive.  <br />
<br />
I wasn't making the argument that the ages of characters merely reflects the values and thoughts of the time. I really don't like seeing those arguments at all on this board. However, it is true that many people assumed at one point that girls married much earlier than they really did. Most research in to marriage and women during medieval times has only taken place in the past ten to fifteen years, after ASOIAF was begun.
I think Martin screwed up and in a pretty big way.

You mentioned earlier that Martin has made comments about finding his younger, female characters very hot. I'm guessing you were talking about Dany? I have not read anything about this but would not be surprised either. Do you know what exactly he said?


View PostFuzzyJAM, on 26 May 2012 - 01:23 AM, said:

<br />
To be honest, I find the whole sexual aspect of ASoIaF a little bit. . .off.<br />

I do too.

Edited by Kittykatknits, 26 May 2012 - 07:52 AM.


#229 SerMixalot

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 10:15 AM

I havent read in depth the previous posts, but after a cursory read of them i can say, certainly some (or even many) readers may misread the tyrion/sansa relatiionship.  I cant (and wont) defend people's perspectives on such things.  I have not witnesed anyone defending or arguing that position and will take your word for it.

I think it says alot more about the readers and yourselves than about what GRRM was saying.

Couple of points

I believe GRRM has stated he has made a mistake with the ages of the characters especially in light of the sexual relationships of the characters.

I will say though that hte text does not support the claim that GRRM is sympathetic to the claim that there is some sort of double standard going on and that GRRM believes that Sansa and Tyrion should be together if only Sansa would wise up.  That I believe is simply wrong.

While I will admit there may be an appearance of sympathy for tyrion on hte wedding night, that is because the scene is shown from his perspective.  We only see  his perspective on the scene.  and I will point out again that tyrion is regularly shown as being totally screwed up when itcomes to women-he falls for Shae when he knows it is just money she wants, he hits her, he actually considers sleeping with sansa (though i would say that this is a parrallel with the tysha incident and shows him not sleeping with a girl when his father orders him too).

If there is seeming sympathy for tyrion from the writer it is because the writer is speaking in a certain voice.  A voice that is not going to be one of recognition of the wrong of one's actions but full of justifications for ones actions.  that is why there may appear to be a sense of romance about it but when viewed objectively is pathetic and quite unhealthy.  IF the reader reads in something that comes from their becoming to know the charcter which in and of itself should garner sympathy and speaks to their worldview, which I will agree can be equally messed up.  But that does not mean the writer intends to express that view.  That is actually pretty good writing IMO.

It is truly a shame that people take out that sansa should just wise up and love tyrion for being such a great fellow, but that says only that the readers have not developed a mature and healthy view of relationships, where they cant accept a woman as being a equal where they believe the woman must be perfect and accept the damaged man while the man is entitled to perfection.  Again I see that as a problem with the reader and not the writer because I think the writer has done an excellent job potraying Tyrions (for lack of a better word) unworthiness of love.

#230 SerMixalot

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 10:29 AM

View Postbrashcandy, on 25 May 2012 - 11:50 PM, said:

Tell this to the legion of fans who criticise her for not being able to see through Joffrey, and for being a foolish girl in love. I guess some of us might still be able to appreciate Sansa's characterization in AGOT, but I do think Queen Cersei made a legitimate point about GRRM being a bit too heavy handed at times in his portrayal, especially as it relates to the opposite characterisation of Arya, who eschews feminine pursuits and is definitely NOT interested in marriage. One scene in AGOT that always makes me raise my eyebrows is after Ned's attack when Jory is killed, and Sansa seemingly has no real reaction to this; she's much more interested in looking at Jory's replacement and is annoyed that her father didn't send the handsome Ser Loras to capture the Mountain. It was like GRRM was bending over backwards to paint Sansa as REALLY shallow, and it doesn't jive with what we actually know of her IMHO.

geer a 13 yo is shallow?  that is considered unusual?  :dunno:

I believe that thing does ring true with sansa.  Until she witnesses her father loses her head she is living in a fantasy land, her beloved books come to life.  she refuses to acknowledge anything negative because that negativity has no place in her world view.  she still loves joffrey and trusts the queen after they force ned to kill her!  Sansa's character is not weak because of this, she is true to her self an innocent with visions of gallant knights and honorable princes dancing through her hair.  I think that is beautiful, that is also realistic.
Compare her to Arya who I view as a completely unrealistic character, not because of her tomboyish attitude in a world of strict gender roles, but because she has no depth to her, she is essentially not impacted by all the violence around her, both to her and her loved ones and by the violence caused by her.  The only sense of pain you get from her is when she recites her kill prayer.  Her reaction seems completely unnatural.  You can feel Sansa's depression after losing her father, but nothing near equivalent with arya.  Also compare arya to sandor, where sandor has been impacted by a lifetime of violence.  Arya is still the lovable scamp (:o)) she always was

#231 Lady Sansa Stark

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 04:07 PM

I ship them, but not in a romantic way. I have no words for their relationship, but something about them is extremely attractive to me. I hope they will meet again, as I don't believe Sandor's dead. I like the idea that he could be her sworn shield or something like that. They have to meet again.
I just want them to have a happy ending; separately or in one way 'together'. Sansa is my favourite character and I have the sense that she will do something great, that she will take control of her life. I prefer her killing Littlefinger that son of a bitch, and that the Starks will reunite.

i really wish I had a time machine.

#232 jlk7e

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 04:26 PM

I'm kind of neutral on this one, but one thing that interests me is that people seem to have a total double standard between Dany and Sansa.  At this point in the story, Sansa has got to be about as old as Dany was at the beginning of the story.  And we have a whole lot of people who are seriously creeped out by the idea of Sansa becoming involved in a relationship with a grown man like Sandor Clegane.  People seem to be a lot less creeped out by Dany's relationships with Drogo and Daario.  I imagine this has a lot to do with the fact that Sansa's voice is much more that of a child than Dany's.  When Dany meets Drogo, she thinks about how he's younger than she expected - no more than 30.  When Beric Dondarrion is sent out against Gregor, Sansa thinks about how he's sooooo old - he's almost 22!  But, Sansa's been a lot less like this lately, and is arguably considerably more mature at this point than Dany was at the beginning of the story.

But, to be honest, I think the ages of the child characters were a serious fuck up on Martin's part.  With the exception of a few incidents of childlike petulance on the part of Robb and Jon, none of the characters really acts like the age they're supposed to be, and this immediately creates particularly problems with the sexualization of 13 year old girls.  Martin seems to resolve this with Dany by making her not think anything like how actual 13/14 year olds think, and by just acting like sexualizing her is no big deal at all.  That has its own problems, but I guess it causes somewhat less queasiness than what he does with Sansa, which is to make her very childlike while also sexualizing her.  The TV show was very wise to age up both characters.

#233 Kittykatknits

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 05:22 PM

View PostSerMixalot, on 26 May 2012 - 10:15 AM, said:


I believe GRRM has stated he has made a mistake with the ages of the characters especially in light of the sexual relationships of the characters.
He did. I remember reading comments from him when the decision to drop the five year gap was first made.

View PostSerMixalot, on 26 May 2012 - 10:15 AM, said:


While I will admit there may be an appearance of sympathy for tyrion on hte wedding night, that is because the scene is shown from his perspective.  We only see  his perspective on the scene.  and I will point out again that tyrion is regularly shown as being totally screwed up when itcomes to women-he falls for Shae when he knows it is just money she wants, he hits her, he actually considers sleeping with sansa (though i would say that this is a parrallel with the tysha incident and shows him not sleeping with a girl when his father orders him too).

If there is seeming sympathy for tyrion from the writer it is because the writer is speaking in a certain voice.  A voice that is not going to be one of recognition of the wrong of one's actions but full of justifications for ones actions.  that is why there may appear to be a sense of romance about it but when viewed objectively is pathetic and quite unhealthy.  IF the reader reads in something that comes from their becoming to know the charcter which in and of itself should garner sympathy and speaks to their worldview, which I will agree can be equally messed up.  But that does not mean the writer intends to express that view.  That is actually pretty good writing IMO.

It is truly a shame that people take out that sansa should just wise up and love tyrion for being such a great fellow, but that says only that the readers have not developed a mature and healthy view of relationships, where they cant accept a woman as being a equal where they believe the woman must be perfect and accept the damaged man while the man is entitled to perfection.  Again I see that as a problem with the reader and not the writer because I think the writer has done an excellent job potraying Tyrions (for lack of a better word) unworthiness of love.
Actually, the only part of the marriage between the two of them that is from Sansa's POV is their wedding night. She does not have another POV until the day of Joffrey's wedding. The entire time they are married together in KL, we only see and hear from Tyrion's POV. In effect, Sansa becomes voiceless as a character. We see her through Tyrion's eyes but she has no thoughts or actions that are her own, all of it is through Tyrion's filter. I believe this is deliberate on Martin's part. Sansa is at her lowest point here and I think the closest she is to breaking her entire time in KL. The only thing that keeps Sansa together at all is knowing that Joff's wedding is approaching and with it, her escape. It is possible that we only see Tyrion's POV as Martin feels that he can better move the plot forward but I don't think so. I do believe Martin left Sansa without a POV on purpose. She said it herself, they made a Lannister of her. It's the first bit of Sansa Stark losing her identity.
The wedding scene is very awkward and it is pretty clear that both are uncomfortable. I know that Tyrion is insecure about his body and looks and I do feel a measure of sympathy in that regard. However, he held all the power that night and during their entire marriage. Sansa fought back with her courtesy armor and did a great job of doing so. We can tell that through the numerous thoughts that Tyrion has about her, all wrong of course.

I do agree with you though, readers often view this marriage incorrectly, putting blame on Sansa when there should be none.

To go back to SanSan for a moment, your comments about Sansa during this period of the story remind me of Sandor. As you know, at this point, he is wandering the Riverlands aimless and in a depression at times. I believe that taking care of Arya was the only thing holding him together but even that was proving less effective over time. So, while they are taking in KL, both of them are surviving. Then, Sandor deserts during the BBW and leaves. It is only at this point, when they are both seperated from each other, that they hit their lowest points as individuals. Hmmm, I wonder if Martin did this on purpose? The turning point for both of them is when they are each rescued by someone else, EB and LF.

View PostSerMixalot, on 26 May 2012 - 10:29 AM, said:


I believe that thing does ring true with sansa.  Until she witnesses her father loses her head she is living in a fantasy land, her beloved books come to life.  she refuses to acknowledge anything negative because that negativity has no place in her world view.  she still loves joffrey and trusts the queen after they force ned to kill her!  Sansa's character is not weak because of this, she is true to her self an innocent with visions of gallant knights and honorable princes dancing through her hair.  I think that is beautiful, that is also realistic.
Compare her to Arya who I view as a completely unrealistic character, not because of her tomboyish attitude in a world of strict gender roles, but because she has no depth to her, she is essentially not impacted by all the violence around her, both to her and her loved ones and by the violence caused by her.  The only sense of pain you get from her is when she recites her kill prayer.  Her reaction seems completely unnatural.  You can feel Sansa's depression after losing her father, but nothing near equivalent with arya.  Also compare arya to sandor, where sandor has been impacted by a lifetime of violence.  Arya is still the lovable scamp ( :o)) she always was

I think Arya is impacted by the violence, I think she eventually grows numb to someone of it to the point where she loses her empathy for others. We see her anger over Micah's death for a long time but then see her behavior towards Weasel and that little girl in the village. We also saw her depression post RW, which Sandor was there to help force her out of.
I like Arya but she is not one of my favorite characters (Is this a ASOIAF sin?). Sansa is a very layered character in a way that Arya is not. I do not mean to imply that Arya is superficial or lacks depth but she is on the surface in the way that Sansa does not, if that makes sense. She makes impulsive statements, snap judgements, and lashes out in a way that Sansa does not.

#234 ARYa_Nym

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 05:57 PM

Arya thinks about Weasel long after she left her. Arya tried to take care of her.

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“He never told her his name. Neither did the waif, the little girl with the big eyes and hollow face who reminded her of another little girl, named Weasel.”

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“The Weasel put her arms around her leg, clutching tight. Sometimes she did that now.”


Gendry thought that Weasel was a liability.

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“That crying girl’s no use either.” “You leave Weasel along, she’s just scared and hungry is all.” ”“She’s no use,” Gendry repeated stubbornly. “Her and Hot Pie and Lommy, they’re slowing us down, and they’re going to get us killed…”

But Gregor and his men found them and really that's no place for a baby so that's why Arya thought:

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“Run, Weasel, run as far as you can, run and hide, and never come back. ”

Arya took on her name at Harrenhal. I think she felt bad about what happened to baby Weasel. Someone said in another thread:

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I also think it's not an accident that Weasel is the name she takes at Harrenhal - it reflects her feeling of helpless and powerlessness, almost as if for a while she became the crying girl.

Arya has nightmares in Braavos that reflects her feelings of helplessness. She is very much like Weasel but she turns to violence and killing to give herself power and not feel scared anymore. It's not a coincidence that Jaqen's presence made her feel less afraid.

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It was the other dream she hated, the one where she had two feet instead of four. In
that one she was always looking for her mother, stumbling through a wasted land of mud and blood and fire. It was
always raining in that dream, and she could hear her mother screaming, but a monster with a dog’s head would
not let her go save her. In that dream she was always weeping, like a frightened little girl.


The thing with the little girl and the doll was cruel but it's often taken out of context. She had just realized that her mother was dead. She wanted to be alone and mourn to herself. She repeatedly asked the girl to give her that but she wouldn't leave so she snapped. It was mean but understandable. People don't mourn in the same ways. Some people get angry about life being unfair to them and they lash out.

Arya has become cold and desensitized but if you do research this is what happens to a lot of children who are put in a politically unstable environments. That's why Arya is often compared to child soldiers because her evolution is almost exact to theirs only she just has a magical aspect to it.

She has lost her support group. She felt afraid.Joining an assassin group was an outlet for her so that she didn't have to worry about being kidnapped anymore, going hungry, wondering where she's going to stay, being surrounded by grown men who can, have, and would harm her, seeing terrible things like what she saw at Harrenhal, etc.

#235 Cirilla

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 06:07 PM

I was trying to answer for myself why would the San/San story capture my attention as it did (thanks to OP for bringing that up!). I may admit to being drawn by "The Beauty and the Beast" cliche a tiny bit, but that is not it. The cliche itself would not be interesting enough to stand out of the crowd of all the stories that GRRM gave us.

I think that the major reason for our interest in San/San is that they are attracted to each other because of desperation and tragedy. At this particular time in their lives at KL they both need being saved. And what they see in each other is an *idea*  they need at this particular moment, something they can cling on to, while their lifes as they know them are on the verge of destruction.  For her, he is the only true knight. As long as he is there, the world of goodness and knights and maidens still exists. And for Sandor she is the representation of the life that he wants but cannot have. She is pure, beautiful and good. She is the image of what he still craves but less and less of it is left after each head he cuts off and after each galon of wine he drinks to sleep. They desperately need someone. And they find each other. The tragedy of this situation is what caught the minds of readers. Me thinks.

And because they are attracted to the idea of each other that they made up in their heads, rather than to what they really are, I do not see any potential for a romance (does not mean I would not like it to happen!). When Sandor puts his head straight on QI (which may never happen beacuse it seems tome he's beyound the point of repair) he will stop obsessing about her. For Sansa, if she finds someone who is going to love her then she'll forget about Sandor. Or at least there will be no need to recall him every time shit happens. Unless they will keep using her all the time, then we will have Lysa Arryn+LF situation.

Also, why would you would like Sandor off the QI? Give poor sod a brake :) He finally found a place in which he is accepted reagrdless of his looks, treated with respect and the only heads he is cutting off are those of the cabbages! There are limitiations to the life on QI but he will not be abused anymore and will have some purpose. It sounds like happier ending to me than a chase after a girl.

And in the end - hello everyone, as that is my first post :)

Edited by Cirilla, 26 May 2012 - 07:07 PM.


#236 Kittykatknits

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 06:08 PM

View PostARYa_Nym, on 26 May 2012 - 05:57 PM, said:

<snip>


Good post. You got across much of what I was trying to say about Arya but did a much better job than I did.

#237 ARYa_Nym

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 06:12 PM

View PostKittykatknits, on 26 May 2012 - 06:08 PM, said:

Good post. You got across much of what I was trying to say about Arya but did a much better job than I did.
Thank you. :)

#238 SerMixalot

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 06:57 PM

View PostCirilla, on 26 May 2012 - 06:07 PM, said:

I was trying to answer for myself why would the San/San story capture my attention as it did (thanks to OP for bringing that up!). I may admit to being drawn by "The Beauty and the Beast" cliche a tiny bit, but that is not it. The cliche itself would not be interesting enough to stand out of the crowd of all the stories that GRRM gave us.

I think that the major reason for our interest in San/San is that they are attracted to each other because of desperation and tragedy. At this particular time in their lives at KL they both need being saved. And what they see in each other is an *idea*  they need at this particular moment, something they can cling on to, while their lifes as they know them are on the verge of destruction.  For her, he is the only true knight. As long as he is there, the world of goodness and knights and maidens still exists. And for Sandor she is the representation of the life that he wants but cannot have. She is pure, beautiful and good. She is the image of what he still craves but less and less of it is left after each head he cuts off and after each galon of wine he drinks to sleep. They desperately need someone. And they find each other. The tragedy of this situation is what caught the minds of readers. Me thinks.

And because they are attracted to the idea of each other that they made up in their heads, rather than to what they really are, I do not see any potential for a romance. When Sandor put his head straight on QI (which may never happen beacuse it seems tome he's beyound the point of repair) he will naturally stop obsessing about her. For Sansa, if she finds someone who is going to love her then she'll forget about Sandor. Or at least there will be no need to recall him every time shit happens. Unless they will keep using her all the time, then we will have Lysa Arryn+LF situation.

Also, why would you would like Sandor off the QI? Give poor sod a brake :) He finally found a place in which he is accepted reagrdless of his looks, treated with respect and the only heads he is cutting off are those of the cabbages! There are limitiations to the life on QI but he will not be abused anymore and will have some purpose. It sounds like happier ending to me than a chase after a girl.

And in the end - hello everyone, as that is my first post :)

welcome aboard and for your post

#239 Queen of Spades

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 07:27 PM

View Postbrashcandy, on 25 May 2012 - 04:54 PM, said:

I think that your "small, but not insignificant detail," just strengthens my point. Thinking about him in those key moments highlights the connection between them, as he thinks of her when he believes he's dying. (and trust me, there's only perhaps two Sansa chapters out out of the 4 books where he isn't physically present, or thought about or alluded to in some fashion) And I'm not saying that there aren't aspects of their relationship which are ambiguous. My point was that Martin has clearly foreshadowed the possibility of a romance developing between them. Whether people like this or not is up to them. ;)
Yes, and those are the two chapters of Joffrey's wedding day, when she obviously had a lot on her mind.

View PostCirilla, on 26 May 2012 - 06:07 PM, said:

Also, why would you would like Sandor off the QI? Give poor sod a brake :) He finally found a place in which he is accepted reagrdless of his looks, treated with respect and the only heads he is cutting off are those of the cabbages! There are limitiations to the life on QI but he will not be abused anymore and will have some purpose. It sounds like happier ending to me than a chase after a girl.
Because he is an awesome character and we want to see more of him ? :P
And I do hope he still gets some "bugger" lines even after his peace-finding.

View PostMumatil, on 24 May 2012 - 05:54 PM, said:

I'm not saying he's unredeemable, but he doesn't strike me as the guy who takes care of a pair of kittens he secretly carries in his saddle bags.
Funny you should mention that... http://mary-chan.dev...ter-2-258384006

#240 Maroucia

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 08:53 PM

View PostQueen of Spades, on 26 May 2012 - 07:27 PM, said:

Because he is an awesome character and we want to see more of him ? :P
And I do hope he still gets some "bugger" lines even after his peace-finding.

We NEED to see him again!!! :bawl:
Or else, I I’ll be highly depressed and cry myself to sleep for a few mounts, before having no other choice but to turn to fanfics  as a mean to console myself and fill the ampty hole left in my heart... :crying:

Edited by Maroucia, 26 May 2012 - 08:54 PM.