What I find offputting is that "betraying Starks" is seen as bigger crime than killing three innocent people who had nothing to do with it. Siding with his family makes sense, I don't think he owes Starks anything, although I also don't think he had to show initiative in grabbing castle where people he knew all his life lived, including two little boys he knew. Precious Ned would be more or less fair game, but smallfolk at Winterfell had nothing to do with anything.
I think it's easier for readers to empathize with Theon's suffering than suffering he inflicted. It is shown to us, whereas we have to use our imagination to understand gravity of his worst sins.
He wanted to save face. Was afraid to be laughted at. For that, he agreed to kill two little boys and their mother. Imagine what it's like. A woman probably knew these to psychos came to kill her children as well. We know she begged for mercy. The boys probably tried to run away. They grabbed one first, probably, stabbed, maybe it took more than one stab of the sword. A boy was screaming in pain and horror. Perhaps he already saw his mother die, or perhaps she saw her son die. His brother probably saw or heard what happened to his brother, his screams. Tried to run away, but hey, it's Ramsey and Theon. He had no chance. Maybe they "just" strangled him, broke his neck? Both kids and their mother had to die in horror and pain with no idea why. In reality, they died so Theon could look slightly better. Imagine these aren't some random characters but somebody you know. Is it forgivable? In my view, no. I don't see how it's better than Red Wedding, westerosi superstitions aside. At least that did not involve literal children.
Edited by Cruella, 09 December 2012 - 03:01 PM.