136 replies to this topic

[Ser Robin Hill]

I'll stay out of trouble, by just grunting.

[Kouran]

The proper address for any male is Sir and for any female above the age of majority is Ma'am, young females are miss.

[Lady Lea]

MinDonner, on 15 January 2013 - 05:15 AM, said:

You can use "madam" here, but generally only for purposes of being politely insulting or to draw attention to some innuendo that may have accidentally slipped off someone's tongue (madam).

Maltaran, on 15 January 2013 - 04:39 AM, said:

Only to address the Queen.

Lummel, on 15 January 2013 - 03:00 AM, said:

It is more an American habit.  In Britain it would be used to address the Queen or a woman of officer rank in the military and that's pretty much it.  It's not a general term of address.

Oh geez, so what can I use? I'm going to London for a bit and I have to know these things!

Brady, on 15 January 2013 - 06:33 AM, said:

I'm not aware of it being a phrase exactly. The c-word is certainly used here as a term of affection sometimes (and sometimes not, context always matters, and while it's not considered as offensive here as it would be in the US, it's still the High King of all swears, and my grandma, may she rest in peace, would give me a solid thump across the back of my head if she ever heard me say it).

So I think what the drunk guy was trying to say was that said celebrity is known as a bit of a troublemaker and he admired that?

so much weirdness. So the c-word can be used positively... that's nice, I guess

[S John]

Lady Lea, on 15 January 2013 - 10:05 AM, said:

so much weirdness. So the c-word can be used positively... that's nice, I guess

I've heard it used in a sorta nice way in Australia and in Scotland as well, but I don't think I could personally overcome 28 years of conditioning to use it myself.  Maybe it just sounds extra horrible in the American accent.

[Lummel]

Hello, Hi or excuse me are acceptable if you want to gain somebody's attention.  If you are talking to someone you don't really need to use a word to indicate that they are a man or woman of respectable status in British English unless you are in a customer service role of some kind in which case you can use sir or madam as required.

[MinDonner]

Lady Lea, you can get away with saying ma'am here, it's not rude, it's just a bit weird. Unless you're here as a spy and trying to pass for a native Brit, in which case your cover will be blown.

[Lady Lea]

Lummel, on 15 January 2013 - 10:11 AM, said:

Hello, Hi or excuse me are acceptable if you want to gain somebody's attention.  If you are talking to someone you don't really need to use a word to indicate that they are a man or woman of respectable status in British English unless you are in a customer service role of some kind in which case you can use sir or madam as required.

MinDonner, on 15 January 2013 - 10:33 AM, said:

Lady Lea, you can get away with saying ma'am here, it's not rude, it's just a bit weird. Unless you're here as a spy and trying to pass for a native Brit, in which case your cover will be blown.

Thank you very much

[Theda Baratheon]

Which Tyler, on 15 January 2013 - 08:54 AM, said:

As part of a group? wouldn't be offended in the slightest. Going out to meet the boys? no problem whatsoever. Completely interchangeable with the word "guy"
As a form of address? ("You boy, I want a word with you") then yes; and wouldn't use "girl" that way either (nor that phrasing TBH)

Well, to be fair, we weren't talking about groups, it was individual address. If someone were to say to an individual male ''boy'' or to an individual woman ''girl'' then I could understand people being pissed off with that.

[Daario's*before*Snows]

Its all about context.
Tabloids can make headlines like "Derek Jeters new girl" without the politically correct police making a fuss.
Katy Perry can sing about kissing a girl. I saw a show on TV last night called 2 Broke Girls. etc etc

[Ser Robin Hill]

In countries that speak German, you can get into considerable trouble calling a fräulein, fraulein.

[Lady Lea]

The girl/woman thing is tricky. In Portuguese I just call everyone "moça" (miss) unless they are way past 60, and then I call them "senhora" (madam) but that sounds awfully formal. It's not ok to call a stranger either "menina" (girl) or "mulher" (woman) - it's just not something that fits with the language.

If I'm at an English-speaking country I'd rather be called Ms or Miss. I think I'd prefer woman and not girl although I'm only 21 and I look younger so people always call me girl.

For men, in English-speaking countries, I just call everyone Sir or Mister.

[Which Tyler]

~Mya Bara Stone~, on 15 January 2013 - 11:21 AM, said:

Well, to be fair, we weren't talking about groups, it was individual address. If someone were to say to an individual male ''boy'' or to an individual woman ''girl'' then I could understand people being pissed off with that.

Yes, it's all about context.
However, I don't think anyone has suggested "girl" as a term of address; it's a difference between talking to someone, and talking about them; and that includes the quote I quoted you quoting (ish).
My overall argument on addressing someone is not to give them any sort of title "Excuse me" doesn't need a "Sir" "Ms" or whatever else to make sense.

[Noontidal]

The tone the word is used in should matter more than the word itself.  I know of numerous circumstances/tones wherein someone can call me "boy" and I am perfectly fine with it.  I know of one that preempts a possible scuffle, but it is fairly easy to spot.

An expectation that someone should know exactly how to address you in a world with such variety is itself offensive.  It occurs to me that I do not call anybody anything, as in I typically use the words 'girl', 'woman' 'boy, 'man' etc. in abstract.  I think some version of "Hey you" is what I use, the goal being to get the subject's attention, after which it is unnecessary/non-beneficial to refer to them unless I have their name (apparently people like hearing their names).

[Jaimeisnotazombie]

Hey you
sup dude
whats good bro
hows it going

[Odendisa]

I'm swedish I don't use titles.

[Lyanna Stark]

Galactus, on 12 January 2013 - 06:02 PM, said:

It's definitely gender-neutral in swedish. (not sure how it works in german)

Swedish used to have hideously complicated forms of address. (with distinctions between calling someone say, professorskan ("The professor's wife") and "professorinnan" ("the female professor") and all sorts of complicated stuff. (if you didn't know someone's name you had to construct the sentence to avoid forms of address entirely, so you end up with stuff like "Is coffee being liked?" and yes, it sounds just as weird in swedish)

There was a more or less official reform in the government in the 60's to just start addressing everyone as "you" and it stuck.

Those old ways of addressing people really were confusing. You had constructions like "ingenjörskan". Does that mean a female engineer, or a woman married to an engineer? (If female engineers even existed in those days, which they may have not?)

In English, it's often pretty easy to avoid addressing people with titles if you are talking (unless it's someone you feel you really should use a title with) but in written English to someone I don't know (and don't know the gender), I always open with "Dear Sir/Madam," since it feels that's rarely offending to anyone and seems to be a pretty standard phrase used a lot.

[IheartTesla]

Did she misplace her name tag?