Strongest Of All Belwas Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Both Reznak and Varys are obvious choices, but my pick is the Lord Seneschal of Highgarden, Garth Tyrell. Granted, there have to be several factors working in it's favor, but bear with me:Margaery will die as a result of the crimes set against her by the Sept. This will cause a massive rift between the Lannisters and Tyrells, yet instead of outright attacking, they'll leave to bury Margaery in The Reach, yet never return. It will be at this point that Garth shall begin to go mad; first Cersei blocked him from joining the small council, now Margaery was executed because of Cersei.The Tyrells will not announce support for (F)Aegon as he starts making his push inland. In fact, they won't really be heard from, at all. When Dany finally hits Westeros, they'll make their move, siding with the would-be Targaryen queen, as she's the only army operating at full strength, thus the easiest pick to side with.The now mad Seneschal will be on hand for Dany's coronation. The Tyrells will be there in force, in fact, and will be a part of the procession of noble houses bowing to the new Dragon Queen. As they are introduced and take a knee in respect, Dany will be remembering all she's been through, all she's learned, all she's been told.As she is remembering Quaithe's warnings, the Tyrells will be next in line to kneel. As the introductions are made, the eventually reach Garth, who looks rather uncomfortable, and somewhat bloated. As he is introduced, Dany realizes that the Tyrell banner is a rose, a common source of perfume. She's just been introduced the their Seneschal. And it is then she realizes she has stumbled into a trap.Garth, driven mad by the betrayal and murder of his beloved Grand-Niece, has decided that if Margaery cannot be queen, no one shall. He then removes the cork he inserted into his anus, allowing the maddening stench of weeks old, methane rich flatulence waft into the air.Lady Olenna immediately realizes her brother had only been eating cruciferous vegetables and beans for the past month not for his stomach pains, but for something far sinister. Garlan, his Grand-Nephew, will immediately regret mocking him for his flatulence.With a grunt and a wince, the Mad Seneschal will release the pent up gasses of his bowels so fiercly, it's reverberations are felt by Dunk and Egg in the past. Garth laughs maniacly, as his gaseous discharge is ignited by the breath of Drogon, and all of King's Landing is destroyed in the massive, shit-smelling explosion.Granted, I haven't truly fleshed this out, but you've got to admit, it's got legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tumnas the Torpid Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Hahahahahahahaha...Fucking hilarious. I got pretty deep into it, thinking, "What is this noise?" Then the cork was popped. Kudos. Laughed out loud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Hahahahahahahaha...Fucking hilarious. I got pretty deep into it, thinking, "What is this noise?" Then the cork was popped. Kudos. Laughed out loud.As it started falling down the page, 0 comments, 0 views, I decided I was a failure and went to walk in front of a truck... Glad I took another check, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerchu Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I feel that this would be a fitting end to the Dany story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 I feel that this would be a fitting end to the Dany storyHere lies Danaerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, incinerated by fartsplosion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane snow Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Hahaha nice job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nephew of Dragons Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Funny, and, but for the medieval farting, not entirely crazy. Threads abound for discussions of the identity of Quaithe's seneschal, and none that I've read mention house Tyrell. It's a smart find, if a little covered in shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Funny, and, but for the medieval farting, not entirely crazy. Threads abound for discussions of the identity of Quaithe's seneschal, and none that I've read mention house Tyrell. It's a smart find, if a little covered in shit.Why thank you, lmao. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tumnas the Torpid Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Threads abound for discussions of the identity of Quaithe's seneschal...I hope that there are many others who suspect Illyrio. I haven't looked yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master of Laws Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 This should totally happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted April 27, 2013 Author Share Posted April 27, 2013 I'll make it my lifes mission to sneak this into GRRM's notes, he's getting old, he might not notice, or an alternate writer won't question it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxWolfox Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 :lol:There really should be a warning tag: Beware of potential liquid-through-nasal-passage spray when reading this, but since that was simply the funniest theory/posting I've read so far, I'll forgive you. Two thumbs up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 :lol:There really should be a warning tag: Beware of potential liquid-through-nasal-passage spray when reading this, but since that was simply the funniest theory/posting I've read so far, I'll forgive you.Two thumbs up.Haha, this is revived. Honestly, this is the one theory which I've made that I'm the most proud of. I actually looked up all of the references of Garth Tyrell for this one.Still feel it has legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napyura Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 "BURN THEM ALL" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 "BURN THEM ALL"Wonder if there is still hidden Wildfire from The Mad King's contingency plans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Witch King of Braavos Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 A fitting end for Queen Daenerys bloody TargaryenWonder if there is still hidden Wildfire from The Mad King's contingency plans. Maybe Garths methane bomb would set a nearby hidden cache of wildfire alight, destroying Kings Landing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steinnis Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 :lol:Very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanF Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 This theory is promising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strongest Of All Belwas Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 How in the hell did this get bumped, lmao.Ah well, the brilliance is undeniable. Can't be too mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Alysanne™ Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 mindblowing wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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