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Drawk's Back To Crisis Mode

drawkcabi

By drawkcabi,
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Guy Kilmore Council Member

Guy Kilmore

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Good luck, it sounds like a bunch of things at once.

On the car front, I do not know your financial situation, but some of the people I work with have successfully used this link to find a cheap and somewhat reliable vehicle.

http://www.workingcarsforworkingfamilies.org/

The programs and such are hit and miss, this is only for the US, so it might not be any help at all.

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JonArryn Council Member

JonArryn

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That's a lot at once, man. Hang in there.

Just one question, do you take care of both of your parents alone? That seem like a bit much. I don't want to be insensitive, but maybe the best thing would be to put them in a retirement home, if you could? Since they can't take care of themselves. That way it would take a burden of your shoulders while they'd get help with everything. Maybe that's expensive though, I know it is where I live.

I also have a dark time at the moment, feeling depressed and not really knowing where I am in life. Pretty much everything is shit. The thing I wonder most is, will I get out of this situation? Or will it stay the same for the rest of my life? Anyway, that isn't important now.

Back on topic, I have a grandmother who had a stroke and she can't take care of herself anymore, but she lives home with her husband. That isn't the best thing though, since the strokes (she's also had a heart attack and blod poisoning and what not, she is a regular on the hospital) she has gotten a very bad memory. She can't even remember how old her grandchildren are or when she should eat if someone doesn't tell her. The best thing would probably be to put her in a home, but I don't think her husband wants that just yet. She is actually in her early 60's so she isn't that old yet.

Anyway, hopefully your situation will light up soon. The saying "when it rains, it pours" really seem to fit in at some times in life. But hang in there and I bet it will start to lighten up soon.

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Ravenhair Council Member

Ravenhair

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Oh, drawk, I'm so sorry for all the horrible things that you are enduring right now, and I hope things get better soon. Wouldn't it be nice if we could close our eyes and sleep until Breaking Bad starts? :)

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drawkcabi Council Member

drawkcabi

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That's a lot at once, man. Hang in there.

Just one question, do you take care of both of your parents alone? That seem like a bit much. I don't want to be insensitive, but maybe the best thing would be to put them in a retirement home, if you could? Since they can't take care of themselves. That way it would take a burden of your shoulders while they'd get help with everything. Maybe that's expensive though, I know it is where I live.

I also have a dark time at the moment, feeling depressed and not really knowing where I am in life. Pretty much everything is shit. The thing I wonder most is, will I get out of this situation? Or will it stay the same for the rest of my life? Anyway, that isn't important now.

Back on topic, I have a grandmother who had a stroke and she can't take care of herself anymore, but she lives home with her husband. That isn't the best thing though, since the strokes (she's also had a heart attack and blod poisoning and what not, she is a regular on the hospital) she has gotten a very bad memory. She can't even remember how old her grandchildren are or when she should eat if someone doesn't tell her. The best thing would probably be to put her in a home, but I don't think her husband wants that just yet. She is actually in her early 60's so she isn't that old yet.

Anyway, hopefully your situation will light up soon. The saying "when it rains, it pours" really seem to fit in at some times in life. But hang in there and I bet it will start to lighten up soon.

Thank you Ollie, much appreciated and I hope your situation clears up, you find your direction, you come out of depression. Nursing facility is not viable now due to costs. I have to look into senior care options because with myself not driving, my mom not driving, my dad is the one left to do the driving. He's 85 like I said, and my mother and I do not let him drive unless one of us is in the car with him. He argues and asks why he can't go out on his own and then pouts, but it has to be this way.

It may end up that we will need a nurse coming for home visits, but it depends on what the health insurance says it will pay for. My dad has fallen down a few times. Last October he fell down and tore some ligaments in his arm. I tried helping him up and I fell down and couldn't get up. He's fallen down again since then, but the other time I was able to help him up.

He's having very bad memory problems. It's not Alzheimer's, but generic senior dementia. I have his medicines in those daily dividers, divided by am/pm too. I take his medicine out of the specific day it is, put it in a cup right in front of him, and if I don't watch him take it I'll come back to the table a few hours later and still see the medicine in the little cup.

He's got 2 other sons and 3 daughters from his first marriage. They all live in California except for one sister in Italy. Only one of them calls on a regular basis to check up on him. The others don't, not in years. None of his grandchildren either.

I heard Don Rickles tell a joke once about Frank Sinatra. It was when Frank was getting up there in years and someone asked Don how he was doing, there were rumors about his memory going. Rickles responded, "Oh, he's got Sicilian Alzheimer's. He only remembers the grudges."

Funny as hell mainly because it's absolutely true!

Oh, drawk, I'm so sorry for all the horrible things that you are enduring right now, and I hope things get better soon. Wouldn't it be nice if we could close our eyes and sleep until Breaking Bad starts? :)

Thanks Raven. I'd settle for getting to the opening of Man of Steel. I'm so pumped to see that movie! Seems like every time I got something I'm really looking forward to I get all this shit dumped in my way to make me pay through the nose to make it to an event I'm excited to get to. Makes me paranoid to look forward to things.

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palimpsest. Noble

palimpsest.

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Drawk, I'm really sorry this is happening to you! Lots of hugs :grouphug:

I wanted to suggest to get a nurse for home visits. My grandparents were 95 and 85 when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and once she was gone, my grandfather couldn't (or, I suspect, wouldn't) take care of himself anymore. He had three children to help him and it still proved too much, so I think you're really doing a heroic task here, taking care of both of your parents alone.

We ended up asking our cleaning lady (whom we knew was trustworthy) if she would mind cooking for him, making sure he ate and just keeping him company for some extra money. She was not a nurse, but he really didn't need one; she provided enough help that my mother didn't feel bad when she couldn't stay with my grandfather all day.

We also tried putting him in a retirement home - he was suffering from depression and we hoped that being around other people would help - but brought him back home after a month, because he hated it.

As for your situation, I'd say definitely try to get someone to help, if it's not too much of a cost - sometimes, there are people who volunteer, so look out for that. You will be less stressed, knowing that there's someone to help them if something goes wrong and you're not home.

And a :love: for your dogs, I hope they will be OK too!

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  • 1 month later...
drawkcabi Council Member

drawkcabi

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Hey,

I'm just posting this here because I don't know where I'm going to be for a while. I might be coming home tonight, I might not.

I'm headed to my doctor right now.

The situation with the flood and the master bedroom and displacing everything in my house has resulted in my bed being piled up with shit. I said it's like a hoarders' house. Only thing is I want to get rid of this shit, really, really bad. Problem is just throwing it away would lose me too much that I could get for selling it which was my plan...

All that aside, having no bed I've been sleeping in a chair with an ottoman constantly for the past couple months and that has reagrravated a wound on the back of my leg I had surgery on in 2005.

It's once again an open wound and bleeding uncontrollably and I can't get it to heal, it's just getting worse. I may end up in the wound center at the hospital, the doctor may have someone to come to my house and help, I don't know. I just thought I drop this post and let everyone know. You know, just to bring you all down on a Friday. Sorry :frown5:
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TerraPrime Council Member

TerraPrime

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Sorry to hear Drawk. Hope the docs can get the wound under control.

As for the stuff, have you considered temporarily renting a small storage unit for it? Or is there a friend who'd be willing to take it until the stuff is sold?

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Tears of Lys Council Member

Tears of Lys

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Aww, Drawk! Really hope your wound gets cleared up. That shit's dangerous. :grouphug:

There are people who can come in and sort through the stuff, reputable people, and auction stuff off, put it on Ebay, etc. They take a cut, probably around 30%, which is high, but it's better than nothing. Having an illness and being overwhelmed with that undoubtedly puts everything else on the back burner, which means you won't be getting anything for it anyway.

If you don't want to do that, Terra's advice sounds great.

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