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A Clash of Personalities: Activity vs. Passivity in Relationships


Éadaoin

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Maybe it's like Venus in Furs? Where the dom ends up unsatisfied and becomes a sub in a new relationship? I think there's more, though. If Sam dominates the Others, and Edd dominates Sam, logical syllogism tells us that Edd super dominates the Others, and from here, we can safely conclude that Dolores Edd is the Stallion that Mounts the World, the supreme being who promotes "horse on planet sex" like the deranged individual he is.

I...Did...What in the name of all that is holy did i just read?!

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Ok, back on topic... I would like to mention Joffrey as someone who strifes to be dominant by violence, and obviously isn't by nature. When you look at his relationship with Sansa, you see that the biggest problem was that Arya incident when she saw how weak he is. And from that moment he wanted to demonstrate his strength and power over everyone. He did that by violence - killing Ned, beating her, killig commoners with crossbow. But, if someone shows him teeth like Tyrion or Tywin, he becomes this frightened submissive child... There is a wonderful notion of Joffrey wanting to be dominant by exerting violence, but his true nature is submissive...

I hadn't thought of that! Though I wonder if Joffrey is truly submissive or whether he is simply ignorant of the nature of power and how to use it. I honestly see shades of late-Cersei in his behavior - anger, irrationality, needing to have everything exactly as he wants it, even the violence to a certain extent (remember Cersei burning the Tower of the Hand?). I don't think we know enough about Joff in his romantic relationships (because he's not a very loving guy) to make clear delineations on his dom/sub nature, only that we know that he wants power, but neither understands what it is, nor how to use it.

I suppose his relationship with Margaery could be shown as sub, though it could also just be an older, more intelligent woman manipulating a foolish young king. I don't want to say more until I reread this part in the books since I think my understanding of it is pretty heavily colored by the tv series since that was more recent.

This may be irrelevant but in AGoT Cat says that Petyr was "always clever, but not wise" - I would argue that, like Joffrey, his apparent sub nature is at least partially rooted in an inability to see a bigger picture, which would inadvertently lead to his eventually becoming a pawn of someone who can. Contrast with Varys (who is ironically an eunuch), someone that can be argued to be both clever and wise, and I think few people would argue Varys is sub.

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Wow, this is troubling. It's now so hard to imagine Sam being in a position on his knees. It's like this passage isn't about Sam at all. Probably an author mistake.

I don't think this at all. I argued earlier that sam was in fact a sub, before I laid down and gave up on my argument. But now with this new bit if evidence im going to go back to my original stance thank you very much.

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I hadn't thought of that! Though I wonder if Joffrey is truly submissive or whether he is simply ignorant of the nature of power and how to use it. I honestly see shades of late-Cersei in his behavior - anger, irrationality, needing to have everything exactly as he wants it, even the violence to a certain extent (remember Cersei burning the Tower of the Hand?). I don't think we know enough about Joff in his romantic relationships (because he's not a very loving guy) to make clear delineations on his dom/sub nature, only that we know that he wants power, but neither understands what it is, nor how to use it.

I suppose his relationship with Margaery could be shown as sub, though it could also just be an older, more intelligent woman manipulating a foolish young king. I don't want to say more until I reread this part in the books since I think my understanding of it is pretty heavily colored by the tv series since that was more recent.

Interesting. I still do think jof was maybe a switch. Meaning, he can go either way, it depends for him. He is definitely a kid with some serious issues though.

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Ok, in one of the future posts I will deal with relationship that truly amazes all of us and is one of the most important relationship in the books. By determining the dominant and submissive parties in the relationship, I will write profound analysis that will shake everything you knew about ASOIAF. This theory will help us going into parts of ASOIAF where no man ever gone, and by that everything from AAR/PTWP to every prophecy and foreshadowing will be clear... I am talking of course about Tommen/Ser Pounce relationship and its impact on future events

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Ok, in one of the future posts I will deal with relationship that truly amazes all of us and is one of the most important relationship in the books. By determining the dominant and submissive parties in the relationship, I will write profound analysis that will shake everything you knew about ASOIAF. This theory will help us going into parts of ASOIAF where no man ever gone, and by that everything from AAR/PTWP to every prophecy and foreshadowing will be clear... I am talking of course about Tommen/Ser Pounce relationship and its impact on future events

I look forward to it brah.

I think Ned was the dom in his relationship with cat. For example he took bran to watch the deserter behead even though cat objected. He certainly valued cat's opinion but in this occasion he knew that bran had to see that.

Hmm, interesting. I think I agree that the two were pretty much on equal footing in the relationship though. With neither one being dominant.

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